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Iain Dean was bored.
Iain Dean was fed up.
Fed up of hospital food.
The lasagne he’d had last night was rank.
The cottage pie the night before, even worse.
Come on, he had a gaping hole in his head that had been stapled back together and the best they could do for him was watery, tasteless mincemeat?
Iain pulled a sad face and sighed as his very sorry looking fish & chips arrived for his lunch that day.
“What’s up love?” The lady serving his food asked.
“Who cooks this food? Not you surely?” He asked, pushing his fork around the plate, disappointed.
“No not me love. It’s not the chef’s fault either mind. It gets ordered in at a cheap price. And it’s not the best even I’ll admit.” The lady said.
“Well I’m glad you agree. Betty is it?” Iain asked, squinting his eyes to see the lady’s name badge.
“That’s right love. Paramedic aren’t ya?” She enquired.
Iain nodded with a smile.
“I thought I recognised your face. I do some shifts in the staff canteen ya see…Anyway, what the devil happened to you?” She asked, concerned.
“I fell and bumped me head…Quite a big bump actually…” He admitted. “And I hurt my knee.” He pulled his best ‘show me sympathy’ face.
Let’s face it, no one else was giving him sympathy having chucked himself off a cliff. A Hero’s welcome from Stevie maybe. But that was about it. “
“Owh bless ya lovey. You’ve been in the wars then. And now the foods no good either.” Betty watched as he looked disapprovingly down at his plate of food.
“Oh come on love, you’ve got to eat, it’ll help you recover.” She tried to encourage him.
“Betty. This. Will not help me recover. I feel queasy just looking at it.” He told her, pulling an unimpressed face at his fish & chips.
Betty chuckled at the man led on the bed next to where she was stood.
“I like you. You’re much friendlier than half of the other patients in here.” She told him, sweetly.
“Well it’s not your fault the food looks like dishwater…” Iain replied and the lady laughed out loud.
“Oh you are funny. Anyway love, I best get on. At least try and eat won’t ya?” She finished and Iain grunted in disapproval and she moved along with her trolley infront of her.
That evening, Betty arrived once again to bring Iain his dinner. Iain was asleep so Betty placed the dinner plate onto the overbed table then gave him a gentle shake on the shoulder. He slowly came to, his head a little sore from where he was due some more painkillers soon.
Feeling a bit groggy, he opened his eyes and sat himself up a little in his bed before focussing on Betty.
“Oh, it’s you.” He said, wearily.
“Yes. Just me love. Dinner’s here. Soup and toasties this evening.” She told him. “I heard you didn’t touch your lunch.” She was genuinely concerned.
As she was for every patient she served if they were having a rough time.
Iain pulled a face and sighed.
“I couldn’t face it.” He said, sadly.
“Well, I’ve got something that just might cheer you up.” She said, reaching down to the bottom of her trolley and retrieving one small container and one larger one.
“What’s that?” He asked.
Betty opened the larger container to reveal a few slices of pizza and then opened the smaller one which had a chocolate bar inside.
Iain grinned at Betty.
“Is that for me?”
Betty took the soup and toastie plate away then replaced it with the pizza and chocolate bar.
“My Grandson, he works at the pizza shop around the corner you see. So I asked him for a quick favour. Turns out, he thinks you might have been the paramedic that looked after him when he broke his leg playing rugby last year.” The lady explained.
“Oh Betty you absolute legend. I’m starving!” Iain said, snapping up the pizza and immediately taking a large bite out of it.
“That’s better.” Betty smiled. “It’s nice to see you eating.”
The treats and goodies continued for two or three days and Iain was in his element getting absolutely spoilt by ‘Canteen Betty’ as he had come to know and love her.
So he was most disappointed when Betty had 2 days off and he had to go back to horrible hospital food.
That evening, Faith had popped up to see Iain after her shift. It was back to nasty cottage pie today.
Faith watched on concerned as her partner pushed the food around his plate.
“Oh come on darlin’. You didn’t eat any lunch either.” She said, rubbing his shoulder, worried about him, feeling his forehead with the back of her other hand.
“You’re not hot to touch and your wound is healing well so I don’t think you’re getting an infection or anything…” Faith said, ruling out some not so great possibilities.
“I’ll eat it if I have to Faith, but it’s vile. It doesn’t give me much of an appetite.” He admitted.
Faith sighed, unsure what to do. It was just then that Canteen Betty appeared.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” She said, realising that Iain was busy, as she turned to leave.
“Oh Betty, it’s alright. Come on over.” Iain encouraged her. “This is Faith, my partner.”
“Oh, I know you!” Betty smiled. “Iain here has been my favourite patient to serve.” She admitted, before digging into her handbag for something.
“Owh I bet.” Faith giggled. “Been charming all the ladies have ya?” She teased her partner.
“Never! Anyway Betty, you’re not working today. What are you doing here?” Iain asked, intrigued.
“Well like I said, you’re my favourite.” Betty smiled, producing a package out of her handbag and handing it to Iain so he could open it.
Iain gasped happily at his surprise.
“Homemade bacon sarnies and a chocolate muffin! Betty, you didn’t have to do this!” Iain said, grateful for such a thoughtful gesture.
Faith looked over at her partner in total disbelief.
“Have you been putting requests in to avoid the hospital food?” She asked with a knowing smile, her mouth hanging wide open.
“No!” Iain defended himself.
“No not all.” Betty interjected. “You see Faith, I’m a feeder I am, and I don’t like to see patients not eating. So anything I can do to make their stay a little better, I’m happy to go the extra mile. Especially for my favourites.” Betty explained, dropping a wink in Iain’s direction.
“Anyway I best get going, my Husband’s waiting in the car.” She explained.
“Awh well thank you so much for this Betty! You really are the best.” Iain said and Faith smiled as Betty left the ward.
Faith turned to Iain with a smile but also a look of ‘you are in so much trouble.’
“I was worried about you Mister!” She said, gently slapping his arm. “I thought you not eating was a set back on your recovery but no! You’re just getting spoilt and brought treats by one of the kitchen staff!” Faith said with a laugh.
“Doesn’t change the fact that the food in this place is vile!” Iain commented.
“Well if Betty’s off again let me know and I’ll make you some sandwiches, okay darlin’?” Faith kindly offered.
“Okay, thank you.” Iain replied with a smile and Faith leaned down to give him a small kiss on the lips.