Work Text:
Wei Wuxian stared at his hands resting on the smooth wood grain of the dining table.
Thumb brushing back and forth, back and forth across his wedding ring.
The hollow feeling in his chest growing into a gaping maw waiting to devour him whole.
“I need you to sign here, here, and here,” Lan Xichen’s voice was professional, detached.
He wasn’t quite sure what he’d been expecting when he returned home that evening.
He knows what he’d been hoping for.
Wishing for.
Just the barest hint of comfort.
That’s all he’d wanted.
All he’d hoped for.
But he’d learnt as a child that hope was a dangerous thing to indulge in.
Hope brought nothing but pain.
He’s not sure why he thought this time would be any different.
Perhaps he should’ve expected this.
He’d known something like this was coming.
For months, he’d known.
For over a year, he’d suspected and feared.
And now the time had come.
His husband’s brother sat opposite him, resolutely pushing a pen and contract across the table.
Wei Wuxian gently pulled the wedding ring from his finger.
His ex-husband’s brother.
The metal of the ring made a dull click as he placed it on the surface.
Picking up the pen, he signed where he was told.
Freeing Lan Wangji of the weight of himself.
The divorce finalised in stark black and white.
Lan Xichen swiftly retrieved the completed paperwork, tapping it against the table to straighten it to crisp perfection.
“Wangji has generously agreed to leave you the house and it’s furnishings.”
“No need,” a tired hollow smile tugged at his lips. “I’m sure they could use the money from selling it to help pay for the wedding.”
That caused Lan Xichen to pause, only for a moment, but Wei Wuxian could see the surprised blink before he continued to shuffle the papers away.
They hadn’t thought he’d known.
They thought him unaware.
Wei Wuxian almost wishes he was.
“Well then, if that is your choice, please remove your belongings from the property before the end of the week.”
The hollow ache pulsed.
It shouldn’t hurt.
He’d known his now ex-husband hadn’t noticed.
It shouldn’t hurt.
He’d moved his meagre personal belongings out months ago, readying himself for this moment.
He’d known Lan Wangji hadn’t noticed, hadn’t cared.
It shouldn’t hurt.
…and yet.
It hurt when their ‘everyday’ became ‘every week’ to ‘maybe once a month’ to finally ‘never’.
It hurt when his attempts at intimacy were brushed off, when even casual touch was avoided.
It hurt when plans were cancelled, first via hasty phone calls with another person’s voice in the background, then through silence and absence.
It hurt to be ignored and discarded.
It hurt that the man he’d thought of as his best friend, his soulmate, his love, hadn’t even cared enough to give the divorce papers to him himself.
It hurt that he chose now to do it.
It shouldn’t hurt.
He shouldn’t be surprised.
He wasn’t meant to have a family.
He was a stain.
A mistake.
An insidious disease to be rooted out before it caused destruction.
His parents died because of him.
The foster homes knew he was a bad omen, even as they tried to beat the disease out of him.
Madam Yu knew, when Jiang Fengmian brought him home. She knew he’d bring misfortune, and with the passing of her husband, had finally excised the rot from her family.
He shouldn’t have been surprised.
Shouldn’t have been hurt.
That Lan Wangji chose this moment to do the same.
Wei Wuxian was not meant to have a family.
They were right to protect themselves from his dark stain.
He knew this.
And yet it did not stop the hurt.
“Please convey my congratulations to Lan Wangji and Mo Xuanyu,” the words felt like glass, shredding his throat and tongue. “I wish them every happiness in their up-coming marriage.”
The surprised pause and blink again, a brief flicker, before Lan Xichen bowed his head in acknowledgment.
Wei Wuxian pushed himself to standing, body and breath trembling, but now was not the time to unravel.
His hand twitched, an automatic gesture, towards the keys on the side, yet he left them.
He would not be returning.
Not to this house he’d once thought he’d share with his Lan Zhan for the rest of their lives.
Not to this house that had once been filled with light and laughter, but now echoed with shadows and pain.
The soft click of the closing door almost covered the quiet hitch in his breath.
There they were.
No longer hiding.
Why would they, when they were finally free?
Lan Wangji leant against Lan Xichen’s car, hands resting on Mo Xuanyu’s hips as the younger man chattered happily in front of him.
Wei Wuxian blinked.
The water beading on his lashes finally breaking to roll down his cheek.
He could remember a time when the smile curving Lan Wangji’s lips was due to him, was aimed at him.
He had not seen that smile in over a year.
He quietly turned and walked the opposite way down the street.
They had not noticed him.
He had already ruined Lan Wangji’s life enough.
He would not ruin this moment for him too.
And so he walked away.
Away from the life he’d known.
Away from the family he’d thought was finally his.
Perhaps this was the sign he needed.
The final straw.
Tears blurred his vision.
The final nudge.
Madam Yu had always said the world would be better off without him in it.
Maybe she was right.
Mayb–