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Sickness comes almost as quickly as the snow that first winter. It begins with Robin getting a runny nose and crying excessively about it (or maybe it’s just the general mood in the cabin making her do that). Next, Gen sneezes for two days straight before becoming okay again.
But then Misty gets sick. And she’s really sick. She’s constantly shivering, and Nat can tell it’s not just from the cold like the rest of them. She can barely open her eyes because they’re so watery. She hacks up coughs like something’s trying to make her way out of her throat, all day, all night.
Gen, the hypocrite, says one morning, early enough that Nat and Travis are still putting on their hiking gear, “Can’t we just kick her out? I can’t sleep like this.”
And although Nat agrees that Misty’s misery woke her up, since her coughs are not only consistent, but also loud, she throws Gen a glare. “That’s not funny.” She shoots a look at Shauna, thankfully still sleeping curled up on the floor. Jackie froze a week ago. If Shauna heard that, Nat’s not sure what she would have done.
Groggily, Akilah says, “Can she at least sleep in the bedroom?”
“With Coach?” Mari laughs.
“Well, he can stay out here,” Akilah says.
“We can talk about it later,” Nat says. She can tell Travis is antsy, and Lottie somehow hasn’t woken up yet. She wants to get a move on before she makes them drink her weird tea. “Akilah, you can help her in the meantime, right?”
“I guess.” Akilah seems about as thrilled about it as Nat expects, but they don’t have any other options.
She and Travis make their same brutal course through the woods. They try to switch up their path every few days in hopes of finding either food or Javi, but it’s been pointless so far. There’s nothing out there. Nat tries not to think about how small Javi is, and how all it took was a few hours in the cold for Jackie to become a corpse.
As they walk, Travis says, “She sounds really bad.”
“Misty? She just has the flu or some shit.”
“The flu can get bad,” he insists. They’re both breathing so hard the conversation’s hard to keep up. “Javi had to go to the hospital because of it once.”
“She’s going to be fine.” Nat tries to make her voice as final as possible. They can’t afford to think like that. They can’t afford to think like that about Misty, who, like it or not, is their best shot at a doctor out here.
Travis still seems skeptical, so Nat adds, “Misty’s resilient.”
Travis can’t seem to find a way to argue with that, which Nat finds oddly satisfying.
She managed to create the role of equipment manager because she couldn’t kick a ball, and she always found a way to bounce back, even after getting bullied the fuck out of at school. She’d show up every day with a bright smile like she wasn’t acutely aware most of Wiskayok High hated her. Nat knows she knew. If any of them are going to make it out of here, it’s Misty Quigley.
When they return, as empty handed and disappointed as always, Nat can hear the coughing from outside the door of the cabin. Travis winces, giving Nat an I told you so look that she doesn’t acknowledge.
The scene when they enter is the same as every day since the snow began to fall. Shauna’s suspiciously absent, Tai and Van are playing a game on the table, Akilah and Mari are huddling together by the fire, and Ben is trying to read a book.
The difference is that Misty, who is usually puttering around the cabin checking people’s temperatures and begging for something to do, is laying in the exact same spot she was when Nat and Travis left at sunrise. She’s shivering so hard her body looks like it’s convulsing, and her nose has begun to run.
“Have you even tried to help her?” Nat asks Akilah.
“Akilah shouldn’t have to risk her own health to help Misty,” Mari says, while Akilah hides behind her. “She’s contagious. She should be quarantined in the bedroom.”
“What about when she was helping Robin, or Gen?” Those two girls have their heads conveniently turned away from the conversation. Nat is so sick of this bullshit, all of their weird cliques. They’re in the fucking wilderness. Who cares if they don’t like Misty? They just want to let her lay there in pain? “Misty helped them, and they were contagious.”
“They weren’t half as bad,” Akilah says, softly. “And honestly, I don’t know what to do for her. It’s not like we have Advil.”
“She shouldn’t be with the rest of us,” Mari repeats, and Nat’s eyes narrow, because she knows this game. She’s sure Mari’s absolutely loving this chance to isolate Misty. But then she follows it up with an actually decent point, “Shauna’s pregnant. She shouldn’t be sleeping next to someone spitting their germs all over the place.”
Ben finally says, “She can take the bedroom.” He goes back to his novel immediately, like he’s scared showing any more interest in the conversation will involve him fully in it.
“Fine,” Nat says. Everyone else has created a wide berth around Misty, so it’s easy for her to walk over and nudge her shoulder. Misty whines, recoiling from her, which almost hurts Nat’s feelings. Misty’s usually overeager around Natalie—around everyone. She must be really sick.
Nat looks back, but everyone else is refusing to look at them, refusing to be accomplices in this. Fine. She sighs and gently leads Misty into sitting up. She blinks furiously, fumbling for her glasses.
Nat dips down and places them on her face, but Misty’s eyes still don’t focus. Nat wonders if Akilah’s wrong. Maybe there is some ibuprofen hidden somewhere. She knows she has a little weed left over in her bag somewhere. But does that help with the flu?
Fuck, the person she’d ask about that is Misty, who is currently mumbling, “Where are we?”
She’s so out of it. Nat tells herself she’ll be able to laugh about this in a few days when Misty inevitably recovers, because she will. There’s not a bit of doubt in her mind. But she’s still careful as she hooks one arm by Misty’s knees and the other around her back, lifting her up.
Misty’s arms splay out like she thinks she’s flying. She’s light, and Nat hopes it’s because she’s short and always has been, and not because it’s another sign they’re all beginning to starve out here.
When Nat places her on the bed, Misty grabs at the sheets, trying to pull them tighter around herself. Nat sits next to her and helps. The mattress is much better than the floor; it’s even nicer than the one she had at home.
She’s not really sure what else to do here. When she was sick, her dad would scream at her that she had to go to school anyway, since he wouldn’t raise a baby. If she protested too much, he’d just flat out say he doesn’t want her home and shove her out the door. She got sent to the nurse’s office a few times because her teachers thought she looked bad enough, and when the nurse called home her parents would say, no, keep her there, she’s not coming back early. She’s pretty sure she’s been to school twice with the flu, but she’s not positive, since she never got a test.
The only thing that made her feel a little better was going to the bathroom to splash cold water on her face. She leaves Misty and opens the door to the bedroom, ignoring everyone else’s curious looks. No one offers to help her, they just watch as she digs into her bag to find one of her summer shirts and marches outside to soak it in snow.
When she’s back, Misty’s still on the bed, though she’s flipped so she’s facedown on the pillow. She looks like she’s trying to suffocate herself, except the even rise and fall of her chest tells Natalie she’s asleep.
Nat walks carefully to her. Misty’s head turns, and she catches the soft expression on her face. Misty can be a lot when she’s awake, but asleep she looks like any other girl here. Dirty, sad, and exhausted.
Nat hovers, wringing the shirt in her hands. This could be a bad idea. She could cold-shock Misty awake, or make her even more sick. But her nose wrinkles in discomfort, and without giving herself any more time to think about it, she places the shirt across Misty’s neck.
At first, Misty winces, and Nat reaches out to snatch it back, but a second later the divot between her eyebrows subsides, and her mouth moves into a faint smile. She lets out a content sigh.
Nat breathes out as well in relief. She collapses onto the bed, on top of the covers. This whole exchange took more out of her than the hours of hiking.
She looks back at Misty, who’s still smiling. At least she was able to do something right today.
Then Misty lets out a harsh cough, ruining the moment. Nat sits up, but as she does, Misty’s arms flail, searching, until she latches onto Nat’s.
She moves the covers so they’re on top of Natalie, too. And then she wraps her arms around her, bringing her face into where Nat’s shoulder meets her neck.
So Nat’s now stuck, obviously. If Misty were any less sick, she’d see this as an obvious ploy for attention and jump away from it, but Misty’s body has stopped shaking since she’s pulled herself next to Nat. And Nat’s clearly the only one willing to help her, so she lays there, staring at the cabin ceiling, as Misty nudges closer and closer every minute.
One of her arms ends up across Nat’s stomach, right below where her bra ends. And it doesn’t feel awful. It’s actually nice. Misty’s feverish body feels as warm as the fireplace, and between that and the way the sheets have formed a cocoon around the two of them, this is the warmest Natalie has been in days.
She doesn’t even mind that Misty’s breath is a little raspy in her ear as she dozes. It’s a nice reminder that she’s alive. Nat’s been liking those kinds of reminders.
The door creaks, and she’s so out of it she doesn’t notice until Shauna is standing over her, watching them, eyes blank.
“Shit.” Nat sits up, which makes Misty whine and let out another cough. Nat moves to readjust the shirt as it falls off of her neck, which makes Misty slump back down.
“I just brought in dinner,” Shauna says. Her voice is hoarse. It’s hard for Nat to look at her. She knows everyone else has been avoiding Shauna too, because what are they supposed to say to her? What can anyone say? They all saw her clinging to Jackie’s body until Tai dragged her away screaming.
“Thanks,” Nat says. That's the most she’s conversed with Shauna since Jackie’s death.
Shauna’s still looking at them. Her eyes narrow in on Misty’s arm, now fallen to hold Nat’s waist lightly.
She catches Nat’s eye and spins, storming out of the bedroom.
Nat extracts herself fully from Misty. Misty huffs, but her eyes remain closed. Nat feels a rush of…something. She wants to brush Misty’s hair out of her face and make sure the blankets cover her. She wants her to feel cared for.
So she does that. She straightens the quilt and brings Misty’s curls over her shoulder. She doesn’t seem to notice, but Nat doesn't regret doing it. It felt right.