Chapter Text
Hao loved nesting.
There’s something just so soothing about arranging the layers of fluffy blankets and silk sheets and plush pillows just right. He puts some soft music on, dims the lights and even lights one of those obscenely expensive relaxation pheromone type candles that Ricky gave him for his birthday. This is perfect, he thinks as he settles down into the carefully made space that he left at the centre of the nest.
The front door shuts. Well it’s almost perfect.
“HYUNG!”
Gyuvin has this certain thing, Hao muses, where he yells like a dying elephant.
The omega also does not dignify that yell with a response. If that had been Yujin, sure, he'd have reluctantly extracted himself and checked on the pup. If it was Ricky, well, Hao shudders at the thought because the eldest pup has only yelled for him a few times and it was never ever a good thing.
But Gyuvin yelling? That was a normal, everyday occurrence these days at least.
The omega counts about ten seconds before there’s a knock on his door and a very sulky “Hyung?” from the other side.
“You can come in, Gyuvin-ah.”
Gyuvin opens the door softly, because he’s a polite pup and Hao’s taught him well. Whatever high-tension energy that’s been running through the brunette’s body suddenly melts away at the sight of the omega’s nest.
Hao sniffs the air, his omega recoiling at the strange scents coming off the pup’s clothes.
“Where have you been? Collecting random scents off the streets?” He scolds without heat before Gyuvin can get a word in. He knows where the pup’s been and also that he looks like he’s about to go into a spiral. Hao directs him softer now but still firm.
“Go shower and change.”
Now this is perfect, Hao thinks later as he scents the brunette’s freshly showered hair.
The pup’s practically boneless, smelling completely content. The omega pauses as he catches a little whiff of something else lingering in the blank milkiness of Gyuvin’s scent. One more year, he thinks. One more birthday and Gyuvin will present, Ricky too, they’ll be adults.
For some reason, his omega whines mournfully even though he logically knows that they’ll probably continue to live with him, even after they go out and find mates. But still, the future is unpredictable and that’s scary.
“What did you want to tell me earlier, Gyuvin-ah?” The pup perks up.
“Oh, you know the pack that lives in the other apartment? I think I met one of their alphas.”
Immediately his omega is straightening up, becoming just a little wary. Hao, on the other hand, keeps his voice light, even as he scents the boy more heavily. The encounter mustn't have been bad. It wasn’t like he sensed any distress when Gyuvin had come home earlier yelling for him.
“And how were they?”
“Uhmmm….very shiny.” Of course, that was such a Gyuvin way to describe it.
“Shiny how?”
“He was very bright. Smiled a lot when he was talking. And his scent…uh…it was a bit loud. But like, not in a bad way!”
“He didn’t make you uncomfortable?”
“No! He was very nice! Really polite, he even greeted me first!”
Hao frowned. He wasn’t an expert in Korean pack etiquette but even back in China, it was usually the pup who greeted the elder first. Strange.
“And you greeted him back?”
“Of course I did, hyung.” Gyuvin pouted. Well Hao had to check. “I swear I did. He even invited our pack over for dinner.”
The omega stills for one moment before continuing to fuss with the pup’s hair. Brown did suit him but the roots were growing out just a little. He’d have to take him and Ricky for their regular retouch soon.
“And how do you feel about going over there for dinner?”
It was a common courtesy. But Gyuvin had a tendency to get twitchy around too much excitement, Hao worried for the other pups too, for different reasons. The last time they were invited to something like this, it hadn’t gone well.
“...maybe not right now?” Like if they invite us, could you ask to meet another time?”
Hao’s omega lets out an involuntary purr, trying to soothe the pup.
“Of course I can.” He assures, voice smooth as silk. They lie in comfortable silence for a while before Gyuvin speaks again.
“I got a little nervous when he was talking to me.” The pup admits. “Not because of him. Because he talked and I wasn’t expecting it. It shocked me a little. I felt- it was like- I almost introduced myself as-”
Hao shushes the pup, purrs getting louder, his omega trying to soothe the slightly frantic notes in the younger’s scent away.
“I know, I know. You don’t need to say it if you don’t want to.”
“Ge” Gyuvin says weakly. A pup’s cry for help.
“Don’t be afraid of growing slowly, Kuibin” Hao soothes, using one of his mother’s proverbs. “Only of staying still.”
He repeats it, over and over again until the pup’s breath isn’t shaky anymore. Until Gyuvin’s completely melted into him, the fingers clinging to his shirt relaxing a little.
“Am Hao-hyung’s pup, right?” He murmurs quietly.
“Always.” Hao says firmly, like a promise.
It is a promise. It’s a promise he’ll continue to make over and over again. Until they stop questioning it.
They lay there, in the middle of the nest, swaddled by soft blankets and silk sheets. Gyuvin’s dozing off in his preferred sleeping position, face down, clinging onto Hao’s middle as the omega strokes his hair.
It’s almost perfect.
The front door opens and Hao can hear that his other pups are home. They’re safe. Nothing can touch them now. All they had to do was wash up and crawl into the nest and they could all sleep. Together.
Now that would be perfect.
________________________________________
Earlier that day…
Yujin’s waiting for the elevator when the neighbour’s door opens. He smells the alpha before he sees him. It’s not unpleasant but Yujin’s sort of glad Hao had scented him so thoroughly before he left.
He’s surprised when the alpha turns out to someone who looks just a little older than him, wearing the same uniform he is. Still, he’s physically imposing the way most alphas are, solidly built. Yujin is not going to lie, he’s a little scared. Briefly, he contemplates walking back into their apartment and waiting until the alpha’s gone.
Then the alpha smiles, introducing himself and putting some of Yujin’s nerves at ease.
“Hi! I’m Park Gunwook. Did you just move in?”
“Uhh yes…I”m Jang Yujin, we moved here a few days ago.”
Introducing himself like that feels a little strange but Yujin figures that if he says it enough, it will fit right.
Then the elevator door opens and Gunwook gestures for him to go in before the alpha follows. There’s another tenant there who barely acknowledges them, busying themselves with their phone.
“How do you like the building?”
“Oh,” Yujin’s a little surprised that the other still wants to talk. “It’s really nice.”
“Have you been able to go around, see the facilities?”
“Ah not yet.”
The door opens to the lobby and Gunwook gestures for him to go first after the other tenant walks out. Yujin shakes his head.
“I’m going down to the parking level.”
“Oh okay! I’ll see you around?”
“See you…” Yujin manages with a tentative wave before the doors close again. Immediately whatever knot in his stomach uncoils. It wasn’t like Gunwook was that scary but he didn’t expect the alpha to be so friendly. Maybe he’ll try to say hi if he saw him at school.
Ricky’s waiting by the car as he walks across the parking level. They get in. The blond’s nose twitches.
“Were there people with you in the elevator?”
“Two, one of them was one of the alphas that lives across from us. Why?”
Hao-hyung had told them that according to the landlord, the pack who lived in the other unit on their floor had three alphas, one beta and one omega. While that ratio wasn’t too extreme and Hao-hyung also assured them that the landlord vouched for that pack, Yujin couldn’t help but feel a little worried. They all were but moving out was the priority.
“You smell,” Ricky pauses. “It’s still a lot of Hao-ge but there’s a little hint of that alpha. Isn’t bad though, I just noticed.”
“Oh.” Yujin suddenly wishes he could go back upstairs and get the omega to scent him again.
“Take my jacket, Hao-ge scented it this morning so it should be fine, and whatever that is will fade. He didn’t shake your hand or brush against you or anything right? How old was he?”
“No he didn’t and he looked about as old as you, hyung. And we were wearing the same uniform.”
The older pup’s quiet for a moment, both hands on the wheel as he makes a turn into Yujin’s school district.
“Must be an early presenter then.”
“Like Hao-hyung?”
Yujin knew that the omega had presented about a year or two before the usual 20 but neither Hao or Ricky really talked about it. He was sure Gyuvin knew something but the only thing he could get out of his packmate was that it had been a difficult time for their hyung.
“Mhmm.”
“He was really nice.” Yujin felt the need to mention.
“Was he now?”
“He looked a little scary but he was friendly when he talked to me.”
“That’s good.”
They pull up just outside the school gates. Yujin takes his backpack, grabbing Ricky’s jacket as well. He slips it on, their omega hyung’s familiar, comforting scent wrapping around him like a blanket, making him a little less nervous then he was.
“Are you sure I can take this, hyung?”
“It’s alright, Yujin-ah, go, you’ll be late. I’ll pick you up later”
“...Hyung?”
“Hmm?”
“Thank you”
And with that, Yujin closes the car door. Ricky watches the pup, only turning back once he’s safely inside the school gates.
From the bus stop half a block away, Gunwook, along with all the other students who’ve arrived, watch as the sleek sports car drives off, wondering who had gotten dropped off in that.
________________________________________
Since moving into their new apartment, Ricky’s developed a new routine of sorts.
Wake up. Usually in Hao-ge’s nest and/or cuddled up to one (or both) of his packmates in one of their beds. Unless he particularly wanted space that night, he’s amenable to Gyuvin bullying his way into the bed, Yujin trailing behind him. Even if the youngest pup snored like a car engine when he was tired and Gyuvin had the tendency to flop on his stomach like a flying fish (Ricky swears that one day he’ll get flattened to death by the other) , it felt nice to blink the sleep out of his eyes surrounded by the warmth of his fellow pups, Hao-ge’s scent lingering over them like a soft blanket.
Get ready. Maybe it’s a force of habit to be as meticulous as he is. There was something that just felt right about going through every step of his skincare routine until everything was soft and glowy in the mirror. Styling his hair just right, making sure not a strand was out of place and going through his (very extensive) closet for the right outfit and the right accessories.
All this Quanrui, his mother used to say, all this is our veneer against the world. There’s a lot of ugliness out there that we can do nothing about and we are only able to do something about the ugliness in ourselves. Sometimes he wonders if she thinks about him.
Help Hao-ge with breakfast. By the time he walks out to the living room, the omega’s already bustling around the kitchen. More often than not, the rice cooker is already expelling steam. He’ll be instructed to take the side dishes out of the fridge and arrange them. There’s a pot of stew boiling hot on the stove. Occasionally they do a western style breakfast with fluffy pancakes, fried eggs and bacon. On other days, it was eggs and jam and cheese and cabbage and ham on thick slices of toast topped with ketchup and mayonnaise. And sometimes, when his ge was feeling a little homesick, it was slightly spicy soup noodles heaped with seafood.
Drive Yujin to school. Like clockwork, usually midway through breakfast prep, the maknae would make an appearance, fully dressed in his school uniform, his hair in some state of order or disorder depending on the day. Even when there were days where Hao would tut and fuss over it until it lay neatly across his forehead, it was still nothing compared to whatever bird’s nest Gyuvin sports when he stumbles into the kitchen, bleary and half asleep, often making a beeline for one of them, either to drape himself over the omega, or give Yujin’s face an obligatory squish or press himself into Ricky’s side. He’s mostly gotten used to the clinginess. Sometimes Gyuvin is alert enough to hop into the car and come with but most days it was just him and Yujin and at least once a week, Hao-ge.
After dropping their youngest off, it was either shopping or sketching to pass the time. He and Gyuvin weren’t due to start university till August so there wasn’t much that really had to be done. Sometimes it was driving Hao-ge to wherever he’d be giving classes or even the very rare performance but only ever as a practical demonstration for some university or conservatory students. And once a month, he’d take himself to the therapist, sometimes with the rest of his packmates in tow, sometimes with one or two of them, and sometimes by himself.
It was, as some would say, a boring life. But that was alright with Ricky. There was something so appealing about being in the same few places as opposed to uprooting his life every few months, hopping on a plane and flying off somewhere and having to build it all back from scratch. Sure, it was exciting, the glittering sort of life the most people only dreamed about. He knew he was privileged to have that kind of life. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t tiring, the type of bone-deep fatigue that made him feel like he was drifting around aimlessly.
What was a home? What did it look like? Feel like? For a long time, Ricky wondered. From country to country, from houses that felt too large to penthouses that were too cold, languages he struggled with or didn’t know how to speak, people who looked at him strangely, friends that he lost contact with due to distance and time difference.
Home is safe. Security. The assurance that you have somewhere to go where you’re warm and wanted. Home, sometimes, was sameness, was void of the uncertainty of change. Maybe that’s why Ricky liked routines so much, because of the sameness. Because of the comfort of knowing exactly what you had to do next, even if this isn’t the place you lived in last night or the bed you slept in or the streets you know.
And maybe, it took awhile. Maybe it took years of what felt like a century of loneliness, constant drifting, fleeing, crying, fighting, healing but at least now, Ricky has an answer to the question.
Home is Hao-ge, is Gyuvin, is Yujin. And maybe that’s all that home will ever be but Ricky won’t mind a few more people. There’s more than enough room for them to come in and stay. But for now, home is Hao-geGyuvinYujin. A constant loop of names that he wears like a blanket, like a bulletproof vest, like something that is safe safe safe and secure and always, always the same.
Right now, his car is parked somewhere in Cheongdam-dong, close enough to home. Perhaps he is being elitist but he does like the fact that he doesn’t stick out even with his blond hair and the designer tags on his clothes and the rings on his fingers, sipping on a strawberry latte from one of his favourite cafes. And even if he knows that Seoul is a big enough city for him to slip into the crowd and disappear from prying eyes, there’s still a difference between feeling inconspicuous and feeling like one fits in. To be able to shape himself into the puzzle of people, breathing in and out in sync, walking with the same rhythm or cadence or beat.
He walks past gleaming storefronts, shiny new watches and pretty handbags, dressed up mannequins and sparkling necklaces, airbrushed sales staff on the watch for new customers. It’s part of the routine, something familiar, childhood memories of trailing after his mother, high heels clicking, paper bags rustling, the smell of perfume, a lipstick-perfect smile with too white teeth. Sometimes he wonders why-
Something catches his eye and he stops. It’s one of those smaller designer-run boutiques, clean, tasteful furnishing, classic shop, soft music. It’s not on display in the window but just by the door, all black silk and delicate floral print and a silhouette that reminds him of a certain someone.
They used to argue about it, when Ricky was a little younger and lonelier and didn’t know how else to show the omega how much it meant to him to have a packmate, to have someone he could rely on. He understood now that gifts weren’t always about the price tag but about the meaning behind them, the thought and care put into them. But this is for Hao, who took him under his wing and practically raised him, who was given so little and gave so much of himself despite that.
Ricky comes out of the shop with the outfit carefully wrapped, knowing full well that he’s going to get an earful later when he tries to give it to the omega. Still, this is his family and his family always deserves nice things. Even if Hao could nag too much and Yujin can be a little brat and Gyuvin is the absolute bane of his existence sometimes, they make sure that Ricky is never lonely. Is safe. Is home.
________________________________________
In comparison to Ricky’s meticulous routine, Gyuvin would consider himself a little more chaotic. Mornings have never been easy for him. He’s always told his Hao-hyung and Ricky and his precious Yujinie that they can wake him up if he sleeps too much. But they hardly do. And when they do, they do it so gently.
Well, he thinks it’s gentle. Hao’s scent always washes over him like a particularly soothing diffuser whenever the omega pops into the room to check if he’s awake. Sometimes he pretends to be asleep just to see if Hao will hover around him, fuss with his hair a little, maybe even give him a peck on the forehead if the omega is feeling particularly indulgent that day. And there’s the purring. Gyuvin loves waking up to his hyung purring, the way it smooths away all the sharp edges if his sleep was a little too restless.
Yujin rarely tries to wake him up. Mostly because the youngest pup knows that Gyuvin will more often than not use his unnecessarily long arms to hold Yujin hostage, inadvertently wrinkling his uniform. He also refuses to let go until Hao has to intervene because Yujin has the audacity to complain that Gyuvin is “smothering” him and he’s going to be late for class. Which is a lie. Gyuvin has never made him late for class. (He has. Once. Hao had to sit them all down for a lecture on boundaries and when is an appropriate time to cuddle a packmate. Yujin has never been late because of that since.)
Ricky had actually bit him the first time the blond was on the receiving end of the Gyuvin good morning cuddles special. But that’s a story for another time. Nowadays, Ricky mostly defaults to quiet “Yah Gyuvin-ah wake up” or kneading his back like a cat making biscuits.And even when he knows the other pup is at his wits end, he doesn’t yell into his ear or try and shake him awake or do any of the other things that used to wake him up.
Because they’re gentle. They’ve always been gentle to Gyuvin. And all he’s ever wanted was a gentle life. Where he isn’t scared to be too loud or too clingy or too much. Where he feels like he’s enough.
“You are always enough Kuibin,” Hao had whispered that to him the first time he had crawled into the omega’s nest because sometimes his own bed felt too empty and too full at the same time. Empty of Hao’s scent, Ricky’s soft breathing, even Yujin’s snoring, too full of Gyuvin’s worries.
Hao’s nest never felt like that to him. With its sunken centre, mattress having the perfect amount of give, sheets spun from pure mulberry silk according to Ricky, thick blankets for when someone is shivering, thinner ones if it feels too suffocating. And a few extra odds and ends. Three sets of ear plugs tucked into the side table in case Yujin snored too loudly (the pup had whined for a week when Ricky brought those home). A velvet throw that Hao would absentmindedly rub his fingers over whenever the omega’s scent turned a touch too anxious. Yujin’s worn stuffed teddy bear that Gyuvin had carefully folded into the layers of blankets the day they had moved in.
He remembered Yujin’s hands clutching to the teddy bear the day he first met the pup. It was raining. Gyuvin had already been scolded harshly for tracking muddy water across the floor. The tile was cold under his bare feet when he had knelt down to pull off Yujin’s wet shoes, wiping the stray droplets of water it left with his sleeve so that the younger pup wouldn’t get yelled at on the very day he arrived. Yujin had looked at him with wide eyes, speaking almost too softly when Gyuvin asked what his name was. But he never left. Never pushed Gyuvin away. Instead, that night, he asked if Gyuvin wanted to share the singular blanket in their shared room because someone had forgotten to give Yujin one when he arrived. And even after the younger did get his own blanket, they spent many nights curled up in Yujin’s bed, both blankets layered on top of each other to try and keep the cold out. By then, Gyuvin knew that he’d never leave Yujin alone, not unless the younger pup one day asked him too. But Yujin never did.
They all have their own rooms now. Spaces that Hao had told them belong to them. And it was nice to have his own space but what Gyuvin liked more is that now, he never feels alone. Even when the house is empty, it’s full of Hao’s scent, of Yujin’s shoes arranged neatly on the rack, of Ricky’s half finished strawberry lattes left on the dining table because Gyuvin likes to steal it for a sip only for the other pup to huff that he should get his own drink next time. Then he forgets to take it when he has to drive Hao to a class he’s giving.
Gyuvin likes being in the house by himself because he knows they’ll always come home. That Ricky will absentmindedly track puddles through the doorway when it rains because he’s too distracted about making sure his hair didn’t get wet and Hao will only sigh and ask Yujin to get the mop. And once the puddle is mopped up and his packmates have changed out of their wet clothes, they’ll sit at the table with that one soup that Hao always makes when it rains and Gyuvin will ask them about how their day went and they’ll talk until the soup is a few cooling drops at the bottom of their bowls. Sometimes Gyuvin wishes he could live in these moments forever.
Just because he likes being in the house doesn’t mean that Gyuvin has anything against going outside. He just doesn’t like doing it by himself. It’s not as fun. There’s no Hao gently reminding them to stay where the omega can see them, no Ricky grumbling that they could take the car instead of walking, no Yujin for him to drag around. Just him and his own thoughts. Thoughts are scary sometimes. Maybe that’s why he’s loud most of the time. To drown them out.
The last time he had gone out by himself was because Hao had forgotten to check with their building reception if Ricky’s package had arrived before he had gone up. So Gyuvin being the good pup he was, volunteered to go down and check with them. Hao had suggested he take a walk while he was at it to have a look at the area since they had just moved in and it was a nice day.
“I’ll be right here at home waiting for you, Kuibin.”
The omega reassured him while giving him a very thorough scenting which was honestly Gyuvin’s favourite part of going out by himself. Being smothered by Hao like a floral security blanket that wrapped around his shoulders and let people know that he belonged to a pack.
Building reception unfortunately have not received Ricky’s package yet which he swiftly texted Hao of the fact. Gyuvin then decided to venture out of the building. Just for a little bit. It was a very nice area and the weather was particularly pleasant, just like Hao said. The problem was that Gyuvin didn’t know what to do with himself. The apartment building was tucked away from the busy main street, a convenience store and a few cafes as well as high end restaurants clustered nearby. Gyuvin briefly contemplated getting a few snacks from the convenience store but it wouldn’t be as much fun as being able to drag Ricky and Yujin there. Also Hao mentioned that Ricky would be bringing pizza from that one place they all liked so he didn’t want to ruin his appetite by snacking.
So after circling across the surrounding blocks, Gyuvin found himself heading back to the building. There’s someone waiting at the elevator. An alpha if Gyuvin is scenting correctly. He’s about the same height as his Hao-hyung. That’s all Gyuvin notes when the elevator door opens and he goes in after the alpha. That’s when he notices that the alpha’s pressed the same level as their apartment. And the alpha must have realised that at the same time.
“Are you perhaps from the pack that moved in across the hallway?”
Gyuvin startles when he realises the alpha is speaking to him. He subconsciously watches the level numbers on the elevator panel before remembering that he should probably answer the alpha’s question.
“Ah…uh…yes.”
He manages to sputter out just as the elevator doors open. The alpha steps out first and Gyuvin almost scrambles to follow him. The alpha’s still looking at him and Gyuvin wonders if the way he answered came off as a little rude. Then the alpha bows slightly.
“I’m Sung Hanbin, it’s nice to formally meet you.”
The idea of an alpha introducing himself this way to him, an unpresented pup fires panic into Gyuvin’s brain in a way he’s very much unprepared for, instinctively offering the alpha- Hanbin-ssi a deeper bow.
“Uh, K-Jang Gyuvin, nice to meet you too.”
Gyuvin winces over the way he fumbles even a proper introduction. He’s normally not like this. But Hanbin doesn’t seem to notice, even smiling at him.
“I hope to see you around more, Gyuvin-ssi. My pack would be happy to welcome yours for dinner sometime so we can get to know each other.”
Right. They’re neighbours. Gyuvin’s mind goes blank the way it does when he’s by himself these days.
“Oh…uh…thank you, I- I’ll let them know, Hanbin-ssi.”
Hanbin waves at him before turning to unlock the front door. Gyuvin finds his legs moving on autopilot, unlocking the door with sweaty hands and shutting it behind him. Suddenly he’s hyperaware of all the strange outdoor smells clinging to his skin uncomfortably, the way his heart is thudding in his chest, the confusion because Hanbin is clearly an alpha but Gyuvin didn’t feel wary of him the way he usually did. Just very overstimulated by everything that had just happened.
So he does the one thing that he knows how to do. Be louder than his own thoughts. Because he knows that he’s not alone.
“HYUNG!”