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They say our family is our strength and home, we can always run to them when everything feels heavy and unsure. We always have them, through highs and lows and they're the one who will understand us, no matter how small or big our decision is. But how about those people who doesn't have a family? those people who got abandoned by their so called home? and those people who didn't even got the chance to be with their love ones.
I grow up alone without any parents to guide me, I was stock at the orphanage, asking why my family left me— they didn't abandoned me, they didn't dislike me, they just rest— rest in a white casket under solid soil, where they can't feel any pain, and can be at peace forever.
I'm not mad at them, how can I? I'm just lost, lost in the place where they left me unprepared, it's all unexpected, I'm just a young boy who still need someone by my side when they vanished. At first I can't understand it, I used to have home but then suddenly I was in a crowded place full of people I didn't know, people who seems nice, people who's just like me— got abandoned, or left behind by our parents.
“Hey, you're alone again” A voice awaken my soul, when I look up I see a boy— he's Barth, the one who's with me eversince, but unlike me, he have a family, they're the one I meet when I decided to leave the orphanage, I told myself that I don't want anyone's help anymore, I can handle myself, that's what I thought.
When I left the orphanage, I have nowhere to go, I only have myself and few belongings. Gladly I accidentally meet Barth’s parents, they're nice, they decided to take me home— they didn't ask where I came from, they didn't ask who I am, they take me without even thinking if I'm a good child or not.
After a few months stay in their house, I move out, with the guide of Barth’s parents and Barth himself I started to understand the world around me, and finally saw the cruelty of the society I'm stepping on. With their advices and help, I realized that I can handle myself now, that I can be who I am, and what I want to be. I started working for myself, make a savings, and before I knew it, I can finally bring back my feet to the school, where my dream is clear as the blue sky. Now, I’m about to graduate high school, time really fly fast, because right now I'm thinking if I should continue my study or stop for awhile to make savings again, for the course I want— Law.
Barth become a big part of my success, of what I am right now— he's now my boyfriend, ironic isn't? I always saw him as my older brother, but because of his care, his support and the things he did for me I realized that he's not just a brother for me, he's more than that. He show the world to me, he's always there to remind me how good I was, and he never forget to congratulate me, in every thing I've done, even those smallest decision I make, he never make me doubt myself, and he never failed to make me happy.
“Tanrak, are you okay? I’ve been calling you since earlier” Barth said while shaking my shoulder, I almost forgot that he's here.
“I’m good, just thinking” I said while smiling, leaning my head to his shoulder.
“About what? You know, you can always tell me what's on your mind, I'm all ears” He said while brushing my hair with his fingers.
“About my future” I said with a low voice, I don't know if i should tell him what I've been planning.
“Hmm, you want to stop for awhile right?” He stated that make me surprised, I didn't mentioned it to him, not even once, how did he find out?
“Surprised? I know you, we've been together long enough for me to know what's bothering you. Listen Tan, I know you're overthinking a lot lately” He stated then hold my face with both of his hands “But please know that I'm always here to support your decision, no matter how big or small it is, you always have me. Don't hesitate to tell me what's really on your mind, I won't judge or stop you, it's your life, you know better than I am, I'm just here to become your human diary, where you can say everything you wanted to say” He continue.
“I know Barth, I just- I don't want to become a burden to you, you have your own problems, your own battle you're facing each day, I don't want to-” before I could finish my words he stop me with his index finger.
“Shhh, Tan, you're not a burden to me, we're family, your problem is my problem, don't think that way okay? You're not a burden and will never be” He said offering his arms for a hug.
“Thank you, Barth! Thank you for always being there for me, for being the source of my happiness and strength, no words can express how lucky I am to have you. I love you so much”
“You’re always welcome, Tan! You always have me, thank you for being with me until now, you're the most precious gift I've ever receive. I love you 3000!”
Funny how a stranger become my comfort, become the family I always crave for— He's not just a boyfriend, or a friend, he's a family that's always there for me. He never asked for a return, he do everything on his own. He become my safe place, my comfort, he's my human diary and the person I want spend the rest of my life with.
They always say heaven is where you can find the peace you've been craving for, that heaven is the place where dead people go, but my heaven is not what other people say— it's everywhere, it's everytime I'm with him.