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Now David Cook was jealous. So wishing for them to fail wasn’t nice. David didn’t really care. He still hurt and he just wanted some one else to get that. It’s not like he thought wishing was actually going to change anything. It obviously hadn’t. They were immeasurably happier than when he’d guested on the show. He could tell even through the tv. (He certainly knew what to look for, what you could get away with.) He should have stopped watching weeks ago but he kept waiting for the train wreck. He needed the train wreck because then he could call and offer his condolences. He would offer his comfort, and he meant that as a loaded word. Maybe then he wouldn’t hurt quite so much.
Then Archie had been flirting with him for weeks. It didn’t matter if it was unintentional. David couldn’t take it anymore. Archie had to commit (yes please) or stop (god no) so David could find his equilibrium again. He’d happily wait until Archie was 18 if he would just tone it down. It wouldn’t hurt to have it all nice and legal. He corned him backstage- after the show, he wasn’t trying to screw up Archie’s performance- and said they had to talk. It did not go well, the talking. Archie completely denied flirting intentional or other wise. The Archie David thought he knew would have apologized for unintentionally flirting even if he didn’t imagine it was possible. He would have asked what to stop. The Archie David was staring at gave no such niceness.
Now all the memories of the first half of American Idol have been tainted by the second half- when nothing changed and David could only conclude the flirting was intentional. He sees the magazine headlines about nice little Archie and struggles to suppress the look on his face. He is in public after all. David knows how cruel Archie can be. He keeps the precious words he never said tucked up in his heart. I love you... He’s not sure if he does anymore. Thinks he might in spite of the hate because only love hurts this much.
Then he actually thought he had a chance in spite off all the issues. Things like 8 years, Jeff, Mormonism, and how different they were didn’t seem to matter. Even Archie’s innocence hadn’t seemed like an issue in face of all that flirting. In the face of Archie’s denial David guessed maybe they didn’t count as issues anymore. That didn’t make anything any better.
Now he was so sure Adam was going to win. He didn’t begrudge him that. David was ready to let the title go and put those painful memories behind him. Adam deserved to win and he had voted for him. The thing that got to David was Kris. Married should have been a bigger issue then everything David had been faced with but it wasn’t. They were genuinely happy. (And almost certainly fucking by now.) He didn’t even know who he was more jealous of. Adam for getting the happiness he had been denied or Kris. Kris for getting Adam because now David wasn’t even going to get the consolation prize.
Then he had smiled bright though not glaring like Archie. He’d sung his heart out with hope and promise. He started on a journey to everything he’s every wanted.
Now David was a bitter jaded rock star though he barely had one album under his belt.
Then Kris hadn’t known he was missing anything. He thought he knew what love was.
Now the world is brighter and Idol will never be the best thing that ever happened to him.