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It started as a simple interest. Just a quick glance of the back of his head, seeing him during your lectures, standing near him in the campus cafeteria lunch line. Surely it wasn’t that serious, until it wasn't.
You never intended it to go this far. But here you are, attending a frat party you don't even want to be in, only joining your friends who were going, after catching wind of Xavier, your college campus crush, wanting to attend.
You didn't know when this sudden interest occurred. Initially, it was blind curiosity, since there was a familiar air surrounding him, but then it started turning into weird run-ins, then weird coincidental meetings, eventually the coincidental run-ins became orchestrated eye contacts, with polite smiles and occasional hello’s, until your weird interest landed you in a similar social circle.
Now back to the present, here you stood, in a social scene way out of your norm, getting tipsy and playing one-sided eye tag with your crush, Xavier, who nursed his beer across the room.
The room was loud and very much crowded, with people bumping elbows and the spill of drinks with no regard for house decorum. The lights were dim, and the aggravating sound waves coming from the obnoxiously huge communal speaker were causing your organs to vibrate from how loud the music was, as people fought over the aux.
You just had to have your fill, you thought, standing around in a corner, cursing your greed for wanting more than just casual hello’s.
You felt like a male bird, performing just enough to catch a potential mate's attention. A true humiliation ritual.
Surely there were other ways you could’ve gotten to know him, but here you are, making your life harder by entering these social settings you know your younger self would disapprove of, since you couldn’t find any other way to talk to the cute boy in your bio classes.
However, despite you being out in the open, you failed to realize you had caught the attention of another pair of eyes that ferociously approached you.
''Hey little lady, you seem pumped tonight. How about a beer?’’ the man said, circling you like a hungry hyena holding a cup.
First rule of these kind of functions, don’t accept open beverages, ladies!
You politely decline, awkwardly backing away.
As he persisted, your attempts to elude the conversation to anywhere else fell short, as diverting this strange man's attention to anywhere but you seemed to be a much greater feat.
''Don't be like that, toots, you were eyeing me all day’’ you? Eyeing him?
If the looks could speak, you'd be saying millions.
You stood there in disbelief, unsure what to do or say. You looked past the man's shoulder. Was Xavier seeing this?
Then it occurred to you, looking around you, that nobody recognizable was there. Tara was off chatting up a cute guy she saw at the entrance, Simone went to the bathroom to hold a friend's hair up while they vomited, and Xavier–actually, where was Xavier?
Suddenly, your back hit something firm; if it were a wall, you’d be doomed. Every single worst-case scenario began playing through your head—I mean, you’ve heard of the kind of atrocities people commit at these parties, what if he’d throw battery acid on you for refusing, or turn people who don’t even know you against you, calling you all sorts of names.
Curse this wall.
But the more you felt the uncertain surface, you realized it wasn’t as hard as a wall would be, you presumed, feeling up and down the firm yet soft ‘wall.’
''Babe? Who's this?’’ A voice proclaimed.
Babe?
And there a man stood, domineering over both you and the creep, giving off a cold glare before quickly feigning curiosity.
''Huh?’’ is all you could manage to let out.
''I told you to wait by the punch, what are you doing here, Love?’’
Love?!?
At this point, your brain short-circuited. Turns out, in front of you stood Xavier, your long-term campus crush, pretending he was your boyfriend, no less! Sure, you assumed you knew of each other, but enough for him to talk to you? Well, whatever it was, he was here, saving you! And you just spent an excruciating amount of time feeling up what seemed to be his abdomen.
You laugh awkwardly, scratching the back of your head. What can you even say in these types of situations?
You looked back in his eyes, reassuring, as if egging me on to play along.
''Oh, sorry...uh, babe, I, uh, got lost,’’ you answered.
''Babe?'' the random guy asked. ‘’Oh, sorry Xavier, I didn’t know this was the girl…’’
The girl? Was Xavier already in a relationship? You’d feel guilty if you were doing all this without knowing he already had someone special. And although you’d usually move on and pursue other fish in the sea, something tugged at your heartstrings, as if you actually cared about this little interest.
''Yes, this is my girl, right Starlight?’’ he said, putting his arms around you, changing his stance to be more domineering and on the offence.
Seeing as the creep wasn’t backing off, most likely in disbelief, Xavier proceeded to avert your gaze to look at him, insinuating a kiss. Woah.
He cupped your face, brushing a thumb over your lips while his slick, thin eyebrows, sharp and downturned, slowly turned inwards.
He gave you this reassuring look, trying to seal the nail in the coffin to officialize your little act. He gazed into your eyes, as if you were the only one in the world, as if he saw you and all your efforts, as if you were his. And although you knew he was only doing this under a fake pretense, your heart couldn’t help but uselessly skip several beats.
''Let’s go love’’ He said, grabbing my arm, pulling us away from the star-struck man. That should’ve been enough for him to back off, right?
''Sorry about that, I think I got a little carried away’’ he said.
A little would be an understatement; he had called you such a variety of pet names in the short span of you guys ever meeting, it left your brain scattering inside itself, looking for an anchor to bring you back to reality.
But as much as you’d normally be peeved, he did save you just now and was conveniently in the right spot at the right time.
This meant you owed him big time. Nonetheless, if you didn't like him enough before, you surely were smitten now, despite the feelings of guilt simmering within you.
''I'm Xavier’’ he said, giving you a boyish smile. Of course, you knew his name.
''Oh, I’m-" you were about to say
''Don’t worry, I know who you are.'' He stopped you, letting out a laugh.
He knew who you were? Something about that sends tingles throughout your body. The boy you’ve been eyeing since the beginning of the first semester actually knew who you were! A delusional part of you wondered if it's because he asked about you, but the logical side of you knew it wouldn’t be the case.
“Please, Starlight, I have eyes, and besides, Jeremiah would kill me if I let his cousin's best friend get hurt’’ he said, scratching the back of his head.
Weird excuse, not to mention a tongue twister. You weren’t sure who this Jeremiah was, nor how he would give a darn about you, hence why it was a little surprising, considering he knew of you, if he would only ever exchange brief hi’s and hello’s in group settings.
''Starlight?..’’ is all you ended up spewing out of that useless brain of yours in the moment, causing him to react viscerally.
He looked away, choking on his spit before clearing his throat, clearly embarrassed, the name stuck apparently.
''Uh, yeah..sorry, it was what came in the moment’’ he claimed, eliciting a laugh on your end.
''I'm so sorry you had to intervene like that, especially having to tell your friend I was your girl. I'm so sorry for your girlfriend,’’ you said apologetically.
''Girlfriend? What girlfriend?’’ He said innocently, fiddling with the zipper of his grey zip-up.
Something about that sentence filled you with hope, but still, what did that boy mean by ‘the girl’ back there?
Amidst the silence, Xavier cleared his throat.
''You probably have to stick with me for a while..well, until that douche blacks out drunk, right?’’ he asks quietly.
''Sorry I put you in more trouble,’’ he finally said apologetically.
''Oh no no! I wouldn't mind, besides, I think I'd want to stick with you for a while-- so no other guys approach me tonight.’’
''Taken?’’ he asked suddenly, his ears perking up.
''Oh no… I'm not interested in finding; in fact, I already have my eyes set on somebody.'' You stupidly shared. Maybe the liquid courage you drank earlier truly made you ballsy, because here you were oversharing!
He suddenly went silent, unnoticingly clenching his jaw before whispering something under his breath.
''Lucky guy...’’
What?
He cleared his throat once more, now speaking more clearly, but with a fresh new grin on his face.
''So..Whos this mysterious bachelor?’’
''How forward of you, Mr. Xavier.''
''Is it Starlight?'' he teased, a warm feeling settling in your stomach.
''The name really stuck?’’ You helplessly asked
''I guess it did–if that's okay with you.’’ He retorted
''It is, and since we’re acquainted enough…I guess I could tell you…But if I'm being honest, I can't tell you, I'm not sure of what I think of this man either, but what I do know is that-’’ you said before getting cut off.
''My man! My Man!’’ a loud voice began.
''Xavier, my best bud in the whole wide worrrrrllldddd’’ the boy exclaimed, slurring a little his words.
''Jer.. I think you had too much to drink’’ the subject of the man's calls replied, now letting go of your wrist that you just realized still held one another, to support his friend.
''Please, you HAVE to play spin the bottle with meeeeeeee! Bella’s participating, and I neeeeeedd to be the one she gets…pleasee? I need moral support from my best bud, and i NEEED you to rig it with your magic so it lands on us and-’’ the drunkard said before abruptly stopping at the sight of you.
''Oh? Oooohhh?’’ he continued ‘’Ooh Xavie, I knew you could do it, my man! Can't believe you d-’’ he said, before Xavier quickly shoved the loosened tie the boy was wearing into his own mouth.
''Herh? Wa if the mning of thith?’’ he muffled
''You’ve embarrassed yourself and me enough for tonight.’’
The boy spat out his tie before launching himself onto you
''Pleaseee join the game girlll~, Xavie will surely join if you play as well! puh-lease! I neeeddd thissss Speed pleasee!!’’ he said, progressively getting louder, tearing up in front of you.
You looked at Xavier, a little unsure of what to do. He was as dumbfounded as you, to you, the poor drunk boy had no chance, is what you thought.
…And neither would you with Xavier if things ended here.
''Sure.’’ You finally said.
''Huh?’’
''Hein??’’ the two boys said, dumbfounded.
''Might as well, I came here to have fun, and so have fun we shall!’’ you simply put.
''Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-’’ the boy, who you presumed was Jeremiah from earlier, your best friend's cousin (or so Xavier said), gave his many thanks before grabbing both of you across the building.
Jeremiah led you both to the game room, already seeing a circle that had formed.
''You don't need to do this,’’ Xavier said, grabbing your wrist before entering the room. His brows were furrowed, worry evident in his face. His features were almost puppy-like. If you weren't 70% sober, you'd have probably reached up and squished his cute cheeks at this exact moment.
''I got this’’ you finally answered, giving him a thumbs up. ''Besides, look at that circle, what are the odds it ever lands on me?’’ You say, before immediately regretting it, because 2 minutes later, you watched as the flimsy bottle evidently landed on you. Shocker.
You nervously gulped as the crowd began oohing and chanting to see who would be your lucky victim. As the bottle spun, you couldn’t help but mentally go into a crisis as you wished it landed on Tara in the least, who was conveniently also at the circle.
But there it stood, pointing directly at who you least suspected (but subconsciously hoped for): Xavier.
The circle erupted into yelling and hollering; the campus beau with the random chick?. It was bad enough that Xavier, who people knew would never participate in these dumb games, was actually playing, and with your identity being slapped on the exact same piece of news!
You gulped hard, looking up to see what Xavier thought of all this, only to see him already analyzing your features. More than anything else, he looked worried.
He stood up, slowly approaching you. You backed away without knowing it; your fight or flight response was currently telling you to take flight and fly far away. That was until he knelt before you.
You sat there, looking around anxiously to see what others were saying. This was all too sudden– of course, you wanted to get close to your campus crush, but this was all happening way too fast! And to reject Xavier, the IT boy, in front of everyone? The social repercussions and all the nasty things that always follow the girls in these situations, couldn’t help but make you freeze up.
All you could do was close your eyes; you might as well get this kiss over with.
You counted the seconds, holding your breath.
1…
2..
Still nothing?
''Starlight?..’’ Xavier whispered underneath his breath, barely audible for anyone but you, causing you to open your eyes.
''This isn't high school, ya duds!’’ a drunken girl proclaimed amongst the circle.
Huh?
''Kisses are for the middle schoolers, this isn't your regular spin the bottle game!’’
Huh??
''After you're selected from Spin the Bottle, you and your chosen partner spend a delightful 7 minutes in heaven in the fraternity's closet,’’ Jeremiah replied next to you, followed by a snicker.
Huh?!?!?!
In that moment, you mentally face palm yourself, stunned as to what the game really was. Frankly, in your opinion, this was way more middle schooler-like than a normal kiss.
You looked around to see all the mixed reactions of everyone before falling upon Xavier's anxious gaze.
''If you don't want to do this, you can quit now. They won't do anything to you, I promise you.’’ He said, as you bit your lip, anxiously looking around once more.
''Don't look at them, look at me,’’ he whispered.
''OH CMON!!’’ a voice then loudly protested, followed by several boo’s. This was excruciating.
Xavier looked around at the crowd, seemingly thinking decisively before taking your hand.
''Please trust me on this one, okay?.’’ he said, helping you up to the secluded area as everyone around you cheered before resuming their game once you were out of earshot.
The host showed you guys the closet, leaving both you and Xavier in front of its doors.
''Again, you don't have to do this… I'll just come up with an excuse if you can’t,’’ he said, opening the closet door, looking behind his shoulder to look at you.
Frankly, you could’ve left then and there, but this was an opportunity of a lifetime, and Xavier, though he tried to show his worries, wasn’t opposed to it as he’s trying to make it seem.
''If you don't want anything to happen, nothing will happen,’’ he concluded nonchalantly.
You bit your lip once more; this entire situation was absurd, and now, despite feeling like you were getting somewhere with Xavier, he felt farther away than ever. You couldn’t let that happen. Now that you were this close to getting to know him.
Besides, you didn't need to do anything sudden, right? Right?!
Swallowing your pride and the butterflies that were most likely your stomach acid threatening to emerge from your esophagus, you walked in, as Xavier silently watched you enter.
His eyes were solely on you, and only you, and although your brain was a mess, you knew some sick part of you was liking it. Seeing him stand there, everything felt so raw and real.
You took a swig of the cup you had before slowly taking hold of his hand, pulling him into the dark closet, as he closed the door behind him, not daring to take his eyes off yours.
Something about this moment sent electricity through your veins. The skin-to-skin contact of your hands, feeling like fire, as you could feel his grip linger a little longer than yours.
The closet was dark, very cramped and smelled of a weird stench of booze and weed from all the coats that were thrown in here, but you didn't mind since all you could think about in the moment was the anticipation that this situation gave you.
However, now in the pure silence, all the courage you had entering the closet collapsed as you began to overthink it all.
What if he wasn’t showing signs of interest? What if he was just being a nice guy?
You couldn’t help but facepalm yourself physically. His stupid face was so inviting and entrancing that you surely misinterpreted his actions. This poor unsuspecting boy, trying to save you from embarrassment, stood before you as you took it for your advantage to catch print. Only his silhouette was visible as his back was against the direction of the light seeping through the closet door gaps.
Could he see the expression you were making? Were your palms sweaty when you grabbed his? What colour underwear did you wear today? A multitude of what-ifs swirled in your mind when suddenly a warm feeling jolted you back to reality.
Xavier had reached up, his hand near your face, grazing his thumb over your cheekbone.
Holy shit.
''Oh sorry, I uh..I didn't mean...I was …’’ he nervously scrambled before a long pause settled between you guys. He was seemingly analyzing your features like in a trance before clearing his throat. ''I was feeling my surroundings.’’ he simply put.
He cleared his throat, his awkward demeanour feeling refreshing. Now that your eyes had adjusted to the dark, there was clearly something different about this campus beau.
This was evidently a hidden side of Xavier. For the charismatic and charming man he displays around campus, Xavier had this boyish essence exuding from him, and all it did was fuel the fire within you even more.
Pull yourself together, girl! Is what you mustered to think, turning around to face away from him. Xavier, in return, although his hand still reached out from when he caressed your cheek, slumped down into the cramped closet floor.
Noticing the cramped space, you followed suit, though you soon regretted it, since you guys ended up in an even more cramped position.
''Oh, sorry I-’’
''Pardon uh..’’ you both spoke, struggling to get comfortable
''Maybe if you go this way..’’ you hesitated, both of you squirmed around before Xavier quickly shut down the wiggle party you guys had going on, putting both his hands on both your sides, stopping you from moving.
''Lets just…May i?’’ he finally said.
You gave a slow nod as his hand placements slid down to your hips, guiding you so that your back would face his chest.
The final position: you sat in between his legs that were spread open, as you guys practiced social distancing, not daring to touch one another, truly such a romantic position.
''Lean on me if your back hurts, kay?’’ he said, before letting out a deep sigh of relief, closing his eyes. You were tired too after the rampant set of things happening.
Truth be told, Xavier had this intoxicating smell to him. It wasn’t a heavy scented cologne; it was more of a mix of his fabric softener and the sweat of his skin, fusing into the feeling of a cooled blanket on a hot night, cuddling your nose. You couldn’t help but want more, inhaling deeper and deeper, causing you to relax a little too hard.
After a few excruciating minutes that felt like hours, you gave in to the cramp forming along your spine from your posture, before lying your back on his chest, a surprised sound erupting from the bottom of his throat.
You sat there, and admittedly, relished in the comfortable support. At any moment, he could have stiffened up to indicate he was uncomfortable. But he didn't, and so you tested the waters more and more, ultimately finding yourself fully submerged in his embrace. Though his arms weren't around you, he rested his chin on your head, which was more than enough.
''You don't have to do what they say, you know..’’ he finally spoke out.
''That's okay, besides, I trust you, Xavier.’’
''I’m glad, because I trust you too.''
''You do? We've barely even known each other’’
He paused for a long time, ''Maybe we should get to know each other?’’
''Maybe we should’’ you said, looking up to see him.
There’s something different about you, Xavier. I feel like I've known you forever! Talking to you, it's just… there's something so casual about it.’’
Really?’’ he asked, raising his knee to rest his hands on it. ''Maybe we do know each other, you just... forgot,’’ he paused. ''How would you react if I told you I knew of you for a long time, I've just haven't gotten the chance to ask you?'' he asked, playing with the front pieces of your hair.
''Xavier..I..'' You were speechless. What did he mean by that?
But you couldn't dwell on it for long, since he then quickly switched the subject ''Besides, I need to take a break from ‘Xavier the cool aloof prince,’’’ he proclaimed, eliciting a small laugh from you.
''What is it?’’ he curiously asked, as your giggles turned into full-blown laughter.
''Huh? Hey, tell me, c'mon!’’ He laughed, poking at your sides, causing you to wiggle a little.
''I'm sorry, it's just seeing Xavier call himself by his campus nickname, I didn't take him to be very pompous and self-aware!’’
''Well..it is the image I had to maintain all these years’’ He said solemnly, his brutal honesty feeling humanizing.
''Is this side of me…strange?’’ he suddenly asked.
''No, I think it's fitting, in fact, I think I enjoy this Xavier's company much more,’’ you claim, playfully pinching his arms.
There was a pregnant silence between you.
''And you…why did you put on that act?’’ he finally asked
''Me? An act?’’
''That out there....that wasn’t the real you, was it? Putting on a brave face for that crowd, in front of Jeremiah as well?’’
He said, palming your hand in his, almost subconsciously, playing with every individual finger while still remaining attentive.
''You don't need to put on that act if it isn't you.’’
''Well, it isn’t an act… at least at first it wasn’t.. But after joining my social circle, it was just what they expected of me. I’d hate to let them down, and there's something so daunting about talking about sappy feelings to a group of people that wouldn't really care--which I understand.'' You admitted, hoping your honesty could be heard through your voice.
Just then, you shifted abruptly, spinning around so that you could face him.
You sat in front of him, still between his legs, now looking deep into his eyes.
You immediately regretted it, as you could feel yourself turn into a puddle under his tired gaze. Icy blue, as if sucking the soul out of you, not that you minded, of course.
You took note of the cup he had brought into the closet. Was it always there? Nonetheless, you took a swig, before Xavier quickly stopped you, grabbing the cup from you, gently pulling it away and placing it aside so you’d look at him.
''And you, Xavier? You're not the unassuming and chilly prince they describe you to be.’’
He let out a laugh, reaching up to tuck a hair that was in your face behind your ear, the skin tingling right after he touched it.
''People talk and talk... It's human nature after all.’’ he described
''If you can't get them to stop, I figured I should just give them nothing to talk about in the first place,’’ he shrugged.
''Hence the self-proclaimed ‘handsome, unproblematic, unassuming prince on campus’ title?’’ you giggled
''You said it, not me,’’ he retorted,
" Besides, I’ve been the realest I've ever been these past few hours, than I've ever been in the past few years, I just know that I could trust you’’ he finally admitted
He paused…analyzing your eyebrows, to your nose bridge, up until your cupid's bow, and finally landing on your lips, eliciting a nervous gulp from both of you.
''Not really your social scene, huh?’’ He then asked
''Nope.. and the funny thing is, I did this all to get my crush to notice me.’’
He suddenly paused, going dead quiet, Xavier's face almost turning into a whole different person. If it weren't for the lighting, you could've sworn he was clenching his jaw.
''Remind me of him again? What's so eye-catching about him anyway?’’
Is this the moment? Is this too soon? This is the first time in forever that you’ve ever felt this interest in someone. Is this how they do it? Screw it.
''Well..’’ you said, staring at his lips ''I didn’t know what he was like at first. If I'm being honest, it was blind curiosity that led me to my interest in him,’’ you said, as you felt Xavier's hands resting on the small of your back, leaning forward as if he was hanging to your every word.
''I mean, I knew nothing about him, I was just another delusional follower following him around, trying to make sense of what I was feeling for him,’’ you continued, leaning in to him as well.
''But turns out, after knowing more about him, and seeing how he truly is, I think I've come to realize that this silly campus crush of mine was actually genuine admiration for who he is.’’ You admitted.
''Would you say...You saw their flaws today?’’ he added
''Well…he may call it flaws..’’ you said, brushing his hair back, as he leaned into your touch.
''But I just find it more of a reason to like him.’’
Xavier was no longer the campus crush you idolized; he was his own person, with an intricate soul that couldn't help but make you feel entranced by him even more for all that he was. And now, as he was before you, this burning urge that was boiling inside you was just waiting to come out. Maybe the booze? Hopefully not.
''Do you plan on telling this lucky guy?’’ he asked tentatively.
''As long as we can discuss it over coffee’’ you chuckled
''In fact, I wouldn’t be opposed to it, I guess..’’ you added, readjusting your position as your legs had been turning numb from sitting on them for so long.
As you shuffled a little, Xavier tried helping you, though his attempts were futile as it caused you to stumble and land completely on top of him, straddling him, not that either opposed to it at all.
Everything felt blurry; you weren’t drunk, but you were barely clinging to your sobriety, trying to engrave every single second of this interaction in your brain.
You could practically hear each other's heartbeat, and Xavier wasn't helping much either. The look he was giving you spoke volumes, as if he was undoing you with his eyes, as your breaths were intermingled; this wasn’t what either of you planned.
''If he didn't take you soon, what would you say if someone else in proximity to you, discussed with you over hotpot instead, and maybe a completely different subject, if that's what you wanted,’’ he asked, tracing circles on your back with his thumb, as he gazed upon your features.
''Would it be selfish?’’ he added, a pout in his lips.
''For them? No. Maybe for me, though, since I'd be killing two birds with one stone.’’ You admitted
''You greedy girl.’’
''Well, he’s a lucky man’’ you playfully rolled your eyes.
You guys erupted into laughter, foreheads touching as the air settled between you both, leaving nothing but the burning feeling of wanting more than just laughs.
He was right there. All of him in his entirety. And you couldn't help but stare at his lips, which were equally reciprocated since you caught him staring at yours as well.
You caressed his cheek, analyzing his features, not daring to move much. His arms slid around you, fully enveloping you and giving you a boost up on his lap, as he looked up at you, a glint evident in his eyes. What was he thinking behind those sapphire-like eyes?
''May i?’’ he finally asked
''As long as we both don't regret anything by the end of this.’’
''Would you?’’
''Only if I didn't do anything,’’ you admitted.
He looked up at you, like a man eager for something, as if he were being tempted by it right in front of him but unable to do anything.
To put that poor boy out of his misery, you leaned in, giving him a soft peck on the lips, which was evidently not enough, since he began pecking soft kisses on your lips, each one becoming longer and longer before you ultimately decided to deepen it, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in.
It was as if some unforeseen force made it impossible to stop. Every few instances, Xavier would stop us both to breathe, taking every moment to relish your presence, before you doubled down, reinforcing the intensity every time.
Both of your arms were unable to let go of each other as his hands travelled all along your back, and as yours grabbed fistfuls of his hair, deepening the oncoming kisses.
Every single fibre of your being buzzed at his touch, at his words, at his everything; if anything, you felt by the end of this, you'd be a puddle of goo for how long you’ve been tense from the adrenaline you felt.
Just then, the door opened, much later than expected.
''Sorry, dudes! Lowkey forgot we left y'all here, we started playing others' game while waiting for the timer to end and-’’ an unsuspecting yet much more sober Jeremiah walked in, before immediately regretting everything and wishing he were drunk again.
Xavier shot out daggers in his direction, which sparked Jeremiah to ultimately close the door.
''Xavier.. Maybe we should leave this closet. What if Jeremiah starts talking? You bite your lip nervously.
''What if people start talking?’’
''Then let them talk.’’ He hummed before kissing a soft peck on your cheek.
''We have much to discuss over hotpot…’’