Chapter Text
Oh, no.
The humans all hit the ground. Caine hovered for just a beat longer.
This couldn't be real. "Wait—"
The ground rapidly approached Caine.
He hadn't asked it to, but it met his body with a smack. He ungracefully flattened in what he could only assume was a pancake.
It wasn't a pancake. It would've been a pancake. He would've liked it to be a pancake, but much like the ground behaved without his consent, as did his body. It was just teeth on the ground.
He pushed himself up, knowing that was what you did when you were on the ground because he'd seen the humans do it over and over in the past week. He stood on his feet. That was weird. Up and at 'em.
His feet stayed firmly planted. He even stood on his tippy toes to try and get himself started. Nothing came.
They were all staring at him.
Oh, no.
He tried to speak, but nothing came.
Pomni took a tentative step forward. "…Caine?"
He took a step back. No, no, no, no, no. Why was she looking at him like that? Why were they all looking at him like that? "I—uh."
Well. He dusted off his suit and straightened his tie. This probably wouldn't work, but that was fine. There was no way they could possibly hate him more than they already did.
He threw his arms out wide. "Congratulations!" His voice cracked. It shouldn't have cracked. He pointed at them. "You've just beat the biggest adventure of all: Defeat Evil Caine!"
"No," Zooble fired back immediately. "That was not an adventure, Caine."
"You can't prove it wasn't," Caine deadpanned.
Zooble scoffed. "Yes, we can! If you don't have your powers, then Kinger's plan worked."
"Sure, I have my powers!" Caine insisted. "I'm just… not using them right now. Part of the adventure's lore."
"But—"
"The lore!"
"Caine, you can't just pretend this didn't happen!"
He waved a hand to zip up their mouth, or somehow make them shut up, or just go away, but nothing happened.
The group exchanged concerned glances. They were going to be talking about him the minute he turned his back, they always were, they always thought they were better than him.
Caine took another step back. He couldn't teleport. He couldn't go back to his office if he couldn't teleport. He was stuck.
He looked down at his hands, his useless hands.
"…Kinger did this?"
"Y—yeah," Ragatha stammered, "but we all did! Really. Don't be upset with him. It's not just his fault."
That didn't help.
Why did she sound scared? Did she think he would—
"Of course not!" Caine declared vibrantly. "Don't be silly! It's not anyone's fault. The point of an adventure is to win it, and you guys… won."
The room was silent. Did anyone believe him?
"I think…" Pomni said, "the point of an adventure is to have fun. It's like you said… we weren't having fun, and… I don't think you were, either."
"Well… it had stakes like never before," Caine said. "And of course, my incredible acting skills."
That didn't address what Pomni said, and they all knew it.
"I'm going to go… cook up the next one," he mumbled. Caine didn't mumble. He didn't shrink away from the gaze of humans. He definitely didn't stand, or walk, but that was what he was doing. One awkward foot after the other. Walking was slow, and boring, and tiring, and he could still feel their eyes on him. It didn't matter.
He didn't have an office anymore. He'd find some hole to crawl into until they all forgot about him.