Work Text:
drowning with our feelings
Daniel’s POV
This jazz club smelled like polished wood, the coffee I drink every morning, and something faintly sweet that made my chest slightly tighten. I’d arrived early, and the stage nearby was empty except for a white piano under a soft yellow spotlight. I kept glancing at the door, hands curling on the cuffs of my black turtleneck long sleeves while a jazz track hummed through the speakers, though I could barely hear it.
Why am I this nervous? It’s just Addi. Just Addi… And nope, this isn’t date—
I heard the entrance door suddenly open. And then she appeared. Addi. Not my Addi from a normal day, but a walking, breathing jazz dream. She definitely tried a 1920s flopper-inspired look tonight—the kind I knew she’d never wear anywhere else but for a reason she hadn’t told me. Addi was wearing a shimmering royal purple drop-waist dress catching all the lights here at the club, with her newly-bleached blonde hair curled softly and a smile curved in her lips like she knows exactly what she’s doing to me right now.
I almost forgot how to breathe. My brain even short-circuited. God, she’s… so beautiful. Out-of-this-world. How can one person do that?
She sees me seconds later. And smirks when our eyes meet.
“Oh, wow… Someone’s early,” she teases while her hands are on her hips. “And you’re staring again, Armie Boy… You know I’m supposed to talk to you, not be your vintage inspiration, right?”
I think I stammered something. Probably incoherent. “Uh… yeah… But—I—maybe a little?”
She chuckled softly, making me feel the heat exploding both behind my ears and my cheek. Calm down, Daniel. Calm. Just—don’t embarrass yourself.
I tried to think about other things. And the first thing that came to my mind is the main reason why we were here in the first place: I just impulsively asked her one time to join me here at the club, since I found out there’s a music show later on tonight. Addi and I are very fond of music, and I know she couldn’t resist my offer.
Moments later, we settled at a table meters away from the jazz club’s stage, sitting close but not touching. After ordering food and drinks, we started to talk about school, thrilled about something in music, and laughed softly about our lives.
Addi’s voice was light, teasing, and effortless—it felt like a melody. I found myself staring. And staring. Until her words slowly became background noise. I became too busy cataloguing every tiny movement she does—the way her fingers hovered over her glass. The subtle tilt of her head when she thinks. The spark in her eyes.
After a while, I caught myself overthinking: Do I finally let her in? How much of me do I show tonight? What if I ruin this? What if I lose her—?
Wait…
Is this… what falling feels like?
“Dan… you’re drifting again. What’s on your mind?” I came back to reality when I heard her soft and concerned voice.
I laughed. Fake.
“Uh—n-nothing. Just… the music… I guess…”
Smooth save, Armbruster. Totally not flailing inside.
And then, the song from the speakers shifted. Not another soft background jazz. Something familiar.
Something mine.
“I, I am drowning in love with you…”
I froze. My stomach also flips.
“...I, I hope, hope that it’s good for you
I, I am learning to live again
I, I’m done with the fast-paced, flower-crowned women…”
I glanced at the stage—from the white piano to the microphone stand in the center. My pulse also thundered. That’s my unreleased song. My unshared words. And she’s hearing it. And she’s—oh, god… No way… She can’t know… She can’t—
“You know… I’m also drowning… drowning in love with you.” Addi’s gaze softened when it caught mine.
My mind went blank. She said it. She—she knows. She… knows me.
“I…” I tried to say something. I really tried. But no words came out of my mouth. Just my hands twitched and my throat tightened.
Addi leaned closer, eyes were also soft but determined. “I could see it in your eyes… The way you hesitate. Your fear… But I also know… This is good, Daniel. I know us. And I’m not letting this go.”
How is she always… so perfect? How does she make me feel like everything I’ve been holding back doesn’t matter anymore?
The song hit into the bridge—the words echoing around us:
“I’m just afraid that you’ll change me
Won’t run away, but I’ll have to take it slow
Don’t want to fall silent for long
Won’t run away, I spook out easy though…”
I tried to swallow. Tried to speak. Tried to even move my hands. But all I could do was to stare at her.
She smiled softly as she slowly placed her hand on mine.
“Then… drown with me, Daniel. Let’s sink together and not fight the waves. Stay. Don’t fight it. Don’t run. Just… fall with me.”
Addi’s words collided with the music and my heartbeat, echoing through every nerve in my whole body. I could feel all the weight of every unsaid thought, every fear, every longing, pressing down—but not enough to push me away this time. I wanted to move. I wanted to speak. I wanted to collapse into her and admit everything at all.
And maybe that’s exactly what I’ll do.
“I… okay,” I whispered, my voice was barely audible. I also noticed my hand under hers slightly twitched, making me try to stop it by placing my other free hand on top of hers. I caught her glance when I did that though, but she didn’t pull away.
This is it. This is the moment I stop pretending. Stop hiding. Stop fearing.
And so I let go.