Chapter Text
“What girl is ready to spend some time with her coolest ‘sister’?!”
An adolescent skipped along the concrete tiles, jumping over every crack as if it’d kill her.
A younger, frailer girl tailed behind her. She took gentle steps behind, her soft laughter swirling through the light air.
“Me…!”
The leader had her eyes set on the local Ice Cream parlor, one that’s become their second home. The little one always gets spoiled with some treats almost every day she returns from school, but now it’s time for this ‘grown-up’ to indulge in some too.
She scooped up the little girl’s hand into hers and dragged her into the familiar atmosphere inside.
The parlour was calm, but had a delicious aroma the moment they stepped foot inside, a mixture of every flavour filling every corner of the place.
The little girl's eyes lit up while she scanned every flavour in immense detail. Her little brain focused on what to get on this warm, sunset day. This train of thought gets interrupted when the teen slammed her hands eagerly on the cool glass, her body pressed up against it.
“Your favourites are vanilla and chocolate, so how about I get’cha a mix?”
She turned her head around to face the child, her smile as bright as a little kid’s. Her pink eyes glimmered in enthusiasm under the colourful ceiling light.
“Oh, that’d be great! Yeah, that works.”
The little girl nodded away happily, making her way towards the teen as she ordered. She stood by her side as she scavenged through her small, white rucksack to find her card. The teen then extended her arm mechanically towards her face, a reaction to her gesture.
“No, no, no no, no. I’ll pay.”
While the girl was startled, she tapped her own card swiftly on the keypad. Mimicking the sound it made when the transaction went through with her voice:
“Diiiing!”
She then handed the packed ice-cream to the girl, a smug smirk lying on her lips. She ordered herself the green tea flavour, but it wasn’t as grand as the one the green-haired girl received. It was a single, lonely scoop.
“Only the best for the loveliest ‘sister’!”
She exclaimed, bowing as if the girl was her highness. The girl replied with a soft giggle that made the teen’s smile feel real, unlike the title she gave herself.
They then sat down at a small table by the window, so they could have a clear view of the sun setting by the shore. It was a sight that they both found comforting, that everything was moving along the way it should.
“So, how’s school, Kanna? Is everything going well?”
She took the first lick of her ice-cream, though she began to feel a little disappointed inside. She thought her tastebuds would be overwhelmed with the familiar taste of green tea that she recalled, but was left with nothing. No flavour, just a cold sensation on her tongue. Though she knew it was hopeless to think she’d be able to taste, yet her wishful thinking couldn’t help but hope she’d feel something, at least.
“Everything’s okay! Kanna’s getting on well with everything, subjects, friends, you name it…”
…But she did feel some sort of happiness knowing this precious little girl was doing alright even after all the suffering she endured. She adored that strength Kanna held so closely to her heart, it made what felt like her ‘heart’ warm, even if she didn’t have one.
“How about you, Anzu? Kanna wants to know how you’re doing.”
Kanna was a curious cat, always wanting to learn more about everything and every one. Anzu was no exception, but she was brushed off with the typical:
“Oh, me? Just the usual, I hung out with Sara, Ryoko, Ranmaru…And now I’m babysitting you!”
In all honesty, Anzu didn’t quite know what else to say, or feel. But she did feel…Light. Her wiring and metal bones were not holding as much weight as they usually did. Whenever she did hang around Kanna, she felt it was necessary to keep her happy and safe, as if it were her duty. Of course, the disappointment still lingered in her wires, however she masked it with her usual, joyous smile.
“No, not just today…Maybe Kanna worded it wrong? Kanna wants to know more about you. Clubs? Friends? Hobbies? You only let Kanna speak about herself.”
Anzu looked away to the side solemnly, she began to rummage through her mind full of memories that she had, but weren’t quite fully her own.
“My life isn’t really that interesting…But, I used to do some clown gigs on the side!”
She smiled thinking about the little adventures each job would lead her on, but that lingering hollow feeling inside of her kept festering. Kanna’s intrigued eyes were plastered on her, so she felt the need to keep rambling in order to keep the girl entertained, and maybe even herself.
“...I used to juggle a lot…”
Though the hands she beared now have not once felt the rubber.
“...Of course, I’d be on my feet a lot!”
The last, and only time she used her legs was when she ran away from obstructors because her mechanical life depended on it. Even when the sharp drill pierced through her existence, she stands here today unfazed. Her body trembles even brushing over the strange, sharp sensation that was inflicted upon her that day.
“...I remember the best part about my job was that I was able to cheer up so many kids! Gosh their little smiles made my day!”
But she wasn’t able to cheer anyone up during the game, she was the one acting like a child. No one was there to comfort her, and even if she were to ask for that, she’d be a burden. She was forced to sulk alone hopelessly until the banquet came. She wasn’t much use either, tripping over her own feet and making remarks that set others off, yet she didn’t want to die even if she’s already died once. Though, she didn’t see any other way out.
And now after her 2nd ‘death’, she stands here ‘alive’, and unsure of what ‘life’ to carry out.
“...But, I don’t think I’ll be working any time soon again, I think I need some time to myself, after… You know.”
Anzu felt bad mentioning their shared trauma, but Kanna was understanding and just kept snacking away at her half-eaten ice cream, her smile just as content as before.
“That’s okay, Kanna’s taking her time too. Besides, it's important to do things that keep you happy! That’s what sister used to always tell Kanna.”
Kanna smiled at the thought of her sister, it was soft, with tints of longing and reminisce. A melancholic mix, but it didn’t even touch the happy bubble the two were enveloped in. She knew her sister was watching over her one way or another, and that gave her the solace she needed.
It was like a lightbulb appeared above Anzu’s head as she snapped her fingers.
“That does remind me of something! You know, after my job I’d usually go get some ice-cream and stuff here. It made me happy, and of course gave me something to look forward to.”
“...But, one day, I went to the parlour, excited to get some ice-cream. Then I saw a girl who bought out the ENTIRE green-tea flavour with her sister! My favourite…!!!”
She winked, and Kanna audibly gasped. Then she burst out into a fit of bubbly laughter, a familiar sound she made around her late sister.
“That was Kanna’s sister…!! I remember that!! You were there??”
Anzu shook her head eagerly in response. This was a little suspicion she had for a while since she met Kanna. Her older sister was a common topic, how she was around the same age as Aznu, and how she really had a thing for green tea ice-cream. She connected the dots easily, but only now did she find the perfect opportunity to slide it into their conversation.
“Yup! Worst part is I was literally right behind her!! She had like… Short brown hair with a green uniform, I think?”
Her tone was whiny, though it was a part of her dramatic clown act to keep a bright smile on the bucket girl’s face. It also let her reflect on happy memories with her sister, numbing the pain, and filling the void she may feel with her absence.
“Yeah, that’s Kanna’s sister alright! You know you could’ve just asked her for some, right?”
Anzu disagreed, waving her arms around and giggling at her response. Though her shoulders tensed up and she began to feel a little uneasy.
“No, no…! She looked waaay too cool!! So cool she looked scary…!”
Anzu had always felt insecure when speaking with new people, especially people around her age. Most of the time she’d admire their styles and lives from afar but wouldn't ever interfere. She always felt out of place with others, and with this robotic body she feels it ten times harder now. She felt insecure with every word and step she took, and now she feels extremely embarrassed from accidentally insulting Kanna’s late sister.
Kanna just stared at her with a blank expression, before tilting her head in confusion.
“Huh? Scary? Kanna’s sister wasn’t scary.”
“No, not like that!! I mean she was too cool for me! Scary as in I wasn’t as cool as her!! I didn’t wanna drag her coolness down!”
Kanna made an ‘oh’ sound, before strongly shaking her head disprovingly.
“No. She would’ve thought you were cool, too!”
Anzu scratched the back of her head, conflicted on whether to believe that statement or not.
“...Wait, did you always have this dyed hair, Anzu?”
“Uh, yeah! I’ve basically had it ever since I was born, eheheh…Juust kidding, but I’ve had it for a long time, why?”
She instinctively gulped, trying to maintain an unfazed smile, but the strings keeping it up were nearing their end.
“Kanna remembers her sister talking about some girl who had ‘really cool, dyed hair.’ But she ran out of the shop the moment she looked at her with all that ice-cream in her arms.”
Then Anzu’s face flushed a bright pink, recalling the experience. Even if these wide eyes that are attached on her doll body have not once laid their eyes on her sister.
“No w-way…She thought my hair was cool?!”
“Yeah, she thought you were cool Anzu!”
She beamed at Anzu’s startled expression, but then she looked away to the side, nibbling on her wafer.
“You know…Kanna thinks sister and you would’ve gotten along very well. Kanna could picture you two being very close.”
That made Anzu feel strange, a fuzzy feeling filling her wired veins. She could faintly imagine all three of them hanging out getting ice-cream together after school, babysitting Kanna together, laughing and forgetting about any sorrows that may have pestered their minds beforehand.
Kanna would always talk about how Kugie was a loving sister, and she believed that wholeheartedly, because of the way Kanna turned out. Even in the midst of tragedy, she’s able to ponder over the lovely moments the two spent together, pushing her forward to live a loving life. She wished she could’ve met Kugie, because maybe then she’d have a loving guide who would show her how to survive in this “big world”.
Anzu couldn’t help but want to preserve this kind heart Kanna harbours, feeling an urge to follow in Kugie’s admirable footsteps.
“Really…You think?”
“Yeah! Sister would’ve loved anyone who keeps me safe and spoiled, you’re…Kanna’s sister, Anzu!”
Anzu couldn’t help but smile, yet it was bitter and she clenched her jaw tight when Kanna exclaimed her new, profound title.
“Thanks Kanna but, I could never be your sister. We’re not related by blood…!”
Not that there's any blood coursing through her body anyway. She was just a piece of scrap metal, rebuilt and having the world’s weight on her fragile shoulders. She was far from a sister, someone who’s human, and someone who’s biologically human. Her emotions weren’t human, just a few modes that were installed into her system. She felt undeserving of that title, and Kanna could see that in her glimmering eyes.
“Sister’s aren’t always related, Anzu.”
She tapped her finger gently on the table, snapping Anzu’s attention back to her as she dwelled on her humanity.
“Sisters are people who care for others, and make sure they’re happy. That’s what you’re doing for Kanna, no?”
Anzu nodded softly.
“Kanna doesn’t care what you may think is a sister or not, but you’re human to Kanna. You’re as human as a doll can get, you’re not even a doll at this point…You feel, you hope and you protect. That’s humanity.”
Anzu fell silent, looking at Kanna with a blank expression as the ice-cream she held in her hand started to drip onto her fingers. She couldn’t feel it much, a faint sensation on her fingertips, but she felt so much at the same time.
“Like right now, you’re trying to hide your feelings from Kanna but she can see it on your face, that’s a human thing we all do.”
“...We’re family, Anzu! Let Kanna welcome you with open arms. Sara, Ryoko, Ranmaru, everyone…We’re all a big family! And you’re…Kanna’s coolest big sister!”
Anzu’s face melted into a warm smile, her eyes softening and shrinking from the kind words. It made her skin prickle, and she could feel liquid forming in her eyelids.
“I’m gonna go get a few tissues for this mess, be right back, Sis…!”
The word came out naturally, like it was on the tip of her tongue the entire time but didn’t have the guts to say it out loud. She felt accomplished, even if she didn’t quite understand the goal she set for herself in the first place.
All she knew was that she wanted to survive in this strange world and “grow up”. Now she stands as a role model for a young girl who’s faced the same horrors that she did, a shoulder she can lean on. A bond, one built on shared suffering, blooming into sisterhood.
A bond that is usually between blood, though sometimes not, isn’t just between people. Yet, it’s the most human tie one can have. And Anzu will hold this string of fate tight, because it’s the one thing making her feel real, like she belongs as a doll in a world ruled by humans.
Anzu skips towards the nearby counter, grabbing a handful of tissues so she can clean her sticky hands, but that’s not the only thing she’s wiping; Also the mellow tears that flow down her face freely, accompanied by the soft, innocent laughters of the young teen.
She may not be human,
But the depth of her emotions goes deep, and she feels every inch of it.
She may be a doll,
But she’s as human as one can get.
