Chapter Text
This was not going well at all.
“Hey, you! You look like you know a thing or two – shuffle ‘em up, and let’s see what you’ve got!”
In hindsight, she probably shouldn’t have let Yoimiya be involved in the initial argument. Itto was hard enough to stop on his own; trying to talk him out of a scheme with the Naganohara girl egging him on was just a recipe for failure. Akira, Genta, and Mamoru at least knew when to shut their mouths, but Yoimiya…
Though speaking of the others, at least they had agreed to stay behind. It felt strange to say that being low on funds was a good thing, but it had been, in this case – someone had needed to pay for this trip, and the idiots had spent most of the gang’s Mora on some other harebrained scheme just last week. So Itto’s three lackeys were back in Inazuma, running errands for Thoma and Taroumaru to pay off the loan they’d taken from the latter – which meant they weren’t here, contributing to this headache.
She just hoped Sara and Heizou were having a better time of things than she was. She already owed them just for agreeing to hold down the fort in her absence; their mood when she returned was going to determine how much.
“Oh, come on! How have I still not found a single challenger?! Is not one person willing to face the One and – ack!”
“Itto!” Shinobu hissed, wrenching the loudmouthed oni down and toward her by the ear. “How many times do I have to explain this to you?! This is not the time or place for this!”
“What – but Shinobu!” Itto whined, like a child a fraction of his age. “You know this has to be where all the best players are! Everybody knows – ”
“Yes, I know Genius Invokation TCG was invented by Akademiya scholars! That doesn’t mean every Akademiya scholar is going to drop everything just to accept a challenge!”
Why in the world did I even agree to this?!
“Well yeah, obviously not every scholar is going – ow! – is going to accept my challenge, but – ow! – but surely some of them will! It’s not every day that – oww! Shinobu – !”
“For Archon’s sake, Itto, will you just listen to me already? This is a research institution, not some sort of card battling training ground! People are busy studying and doing research right now – you can’t be going around shouting your head off like this!”
She gave his ear one more tug, before finally letting go. Itto stumbled backwards, away from her, whimpering like a kicked puppy.
“Alright, so here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to leave, quietly, and not bother the people here any more than you already have. I’m sure we can find a more appropriate place to look for opponents – one where you won’t get us both arrested, understood?”
“Okay… but really, are you sure we can’t look around a little more? There has to be – ”
“Itto. This. Is. A school! The people here are busy. They are not just here to play card games, do you understand?”
“Okay, but surely they can’t all be busy, all the time, right? There’s got to be one – ”
Itto suddenly stopped. His eyes drifted over and past her, seemingly following something just behind her.
“… A-HA! Yes, that kid! All those scholars were adults – a kid shouldn’t be busy, right? Hey, you! Hold it right there!”
“Itto, you – !”
Itto wasn’t listening; he was already taking off down the hall, enormous geta clomping loudly against the stone floor. Shinobu groaned as she turned, just as he disappeared around a corner. “Itto, get back here! I swear, one more word and I will kick your – ”
She froze as she turned the corner as well, just in time to see Itto race past a small figure in white. A girl, with white hair pulled back in a ponytail, held in place by an ornate green-and-gold headpiece.
… wait. That’s…
The girl stopped, seeming surprised, as he screeched to a stop in front of her. She looked up – way up – as he paused to catch his breath. “Oh, um… can I help you?”
… no.
He was silent for another second – before his mouth stretched into an enormous grin.
No!
Shinobu felt her eyes widen. She forced her feet to move. “Wait – Itto, no! That’s – !”
Too late. “You!” Itto pointed dramatically, causing the girl to lean back a little to keep from being jabbed in the face. “Tell me! Have you ever heard of the greatest card fighter of all time, Arataki ‘The One and Oni’ Itto?!”
“Er… no?”
Shinobu bit back a swear. “Itto, stop!”
He still wasn’t listening. “Yes, well that changes now! So prepare yourself, for it is time to d-d-d-d-dohmyjeebus – ”
There was a burst of Electro; a flash of violet light. A dark blur suddenly dropped down from above, onto Itto’s back, slamming him into the floor.
… well. So much for not getting arrested.
***
“… again, we’re very sorry for the disturbance. I assure you, it will not happen again.”
“What – hold on, I don’t remember agreeing to this! I still have – ow!”
“I said, we’re sorry.” Shinobu paused, glancing meaningfully at her idiot of a boss. “It will not happen again.”
“But – ack!” Itto yelped as she grabbed him by the collar, and shoved him down into a matching bow. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! Geez, you don’t – wait, no, not the hair – !”
“Please, there’s no need for this,” Lord Kusanali – the First Dendro Archon – said, with a giggle. “I understand he meant no harm; just, um, maybe tone down the enthusiasm a bit?”
The short, tan-skinned man standing beside her desk didn’t seem to share her amusement. The rumors about the Akademiya’s current General Mahamatra were true, Shinobu decided – the man barely looked Heizou’s age, but he had a glare that would put even Sara’s to shame.
Are all the important people around here short, though? There’s these two, and then that merchant people say is the second richest person in Teyvat…
“Anyway,” the Archon was now saying, “I’ll let everybody know you’re free to go. Just try to keep it down on the way out, so you don’t spook everyone again.”
“Uh – yes, thank you,” Shinobu said quickly, straightening up again. “We’re really very sorry for all of this; we’ll be sure not to cause any more trouble. Isn’t that right, Itto?”
“Huh? What – ow! Oh, uh, yeah! Of course!” Itto paused, carefully pressing a hand to his ribs. “… though, uh…”
Lord Kusanali looked up at him with large, inquisitive eyes. “Is something the matter?”
He blinked. “… uh… sort of? It’s just…”
Another pause, before he turned to Shinobu.
“… Shinobu, didn’t you say Sumeru’s Archon was a dude?”
… Seriously?!
The leaf in Lord Kusanali’s hair seemed to droop a little. The General Mahamatra gave them both a withering look; Itto didn’t seem to notice, but Shinobu could swear she felt needles crawling down her back.
Out of everything I told you, that’s the one thing you remember?!
“Objectively,” the General Mahamatra said, in an icy tone, “that is correct. The Second – and current – Dendro Archon is indeed male. With that said, do keep in mind that Lord Kusanali is, nevertheless, an Archon. The First Archon, I should note.”
“Oh, okay – wait, you guys have two Archons?” Itto still seemed oblivious to the shorter man’s expression. “How does that work? Do you guys have, like, twice the number of statues to pray to or – owowow Shinobu – !”
“The Archons share authority over the nation, though officially the Second – being the current Archon – is higher-ranked. In practice, that doesn’t often come up.”
Shinobu immediately understood what was meant by that last part – don’t do anything to make it come up. She wasn’t sure if Itto understood, though.
“In any case, if there is nothing else, then you are now free to leave. As a final reminder, please refrain from picking fights during your time in our nation. I think we would all rather not have to deal with each other again.”
“Huh? But I wasn’t picking any fights!” Itto protested. “I was – ack!”
“Eyewitness reports seem to indicate otherwise. We have several witnesses claiming to have been challenged to one-on-one duels, by a large, red-horned man, covered in spikes.”
Lord Kusanali giggled again. “I think there may have been a misunderstanding, General Mahamatra. I believe he was asking for a card duel, not a real one.”
The General Mahamatra paused, his expression seeming to turn slightly curious – though it was, admittedly, hard to tell. “… I see. Is that so?”
Shinobu quickly cleared her throat, before Itto could say anything. “Yes, though we are aware that this was not an appropriate place for that, either. My friend was a little too excited to remember this, in the moment, but he will certainly keep it in mind now. Right, Itto?”
Itto seemed to want to protest, but he visibly paused, and evidently thought better of it. “… uh… yeah. That’s right.”
“Very good. In that case, we’ll go ahead and get out of your way, now. Sorry again, and thank you very much for understanding!”
“Yeah, what she said. But before we leave, do either of you – ow – what – oh, come on! I just wanted to ask if…!”
Shinobu didn’t wait to hear what he had to say. She quickly shoved him out of the office, shut the door behind them, and started dragging him back toward the Akademiya’s front hall.
She really hoped the rest of their trip would go better than this.
***
“… well. That was certainly… interesting.”
Lord Kusanali giggled. “It was, wasn’t it? I wasn’t expecting so much excitement today; it’s been pretty quiet around here, lately.”
Cyno stifled a laugh, though he did allow himself a slight smile. “Yes, though I wouldn’t consider that a bad thing. ‘Excitement’ tends to result in much larger messes, around here.”
“Yes, you have a point. I suppose it’s good that it was just some excitement, this time.”
She paused.
“… that being said, perhaps someone should keep an eye on our visitors, just in case. A little excitement is good, but too much can be stressful. And we wouldn’t want to cause anyone any unnecessary stress now, would we?”
Cyno suppressed another laugh. They certainly didn’t – not when a certain someone had finally found an opportunity for some paid leave, after more than a year. “Understood. I’ll find somebody right away.”
“… yes, well…” Another pause. “… actually, I was thinking you might be interested in this assignment.”
“… excuse me?”
Lord Kusanali giggled again. “You don’t really think I didn’t notice, do you?” Her eyes sparkled, playfully. “And I have a feeling you’ll be seeing a lot of our spiky friend anyway, no matter what we do. So we might as well be proactive about it, right?”
Cyno opened his mouth to respond, but found that he suddenly had unusually little to say. Something rumbled, in the back of his mind.
(Wise. Knows well.)
“So anyway, I’ll let you get to work on that now. Just let me know when you have things figured out, okay?”
He finally managed to recollect himself. “… yes, of course. I’ll be on my way, then.”
Another giggle. “Of course!” She smiled and waved, as he headed for the door. “I’ll see you later! Have fun!”
Hermanubis laughed openly, this time. Cyno simply excused himself with a nod, closing the door as impassively as he could behind him.
This had been… a very interesting start to his week.