Chapter Text
There are many discrepancies with majoring in architecture and having a sane mind. In fact, one might say that there isn’t even a lack of compatibility with both notions because there is none at all; one cannot be of a tranquil mind while one studies the arduous art. This isn’t to say that architecture is the most formidable foe that one faces in life, but when one has to face it, it is woefully a huskier opponent than normally perceived.
The egregiously enormous workload contributes to the atrocious dread one experiences when facing the art itself, and one can barely grasp for time outside of this passion. This was how Kaveh found himself lavishing in meals more often; savouring morning walks to his classes; appreciating every word in a book; and relishing long showers.
A knock rapped itself against the door of Kaveh’s dorm, but Kaveh was too busy humming to a redolent tune in the shower to notice. Not like he would’ve heard it through the echoey pitter-pattering of the gushing water bouncing off the walls, anyway.
Another knock resounded throughout the living space. Then another. And another. Until the knocks themselves became feeble, seemingly tired.
By the time Kaveh had emerged from his shower, they had already devolved into barely audible soft raps, and had it not been for his roommates' insistence on regular doctor checkups, Kaveh would have thought that he was going deranged. Fortunately, his roommates’ baseless concern found a sound reason this time.
He took a swift glance around the room; to confirm that his roommates, who were at a professor’s farewell party, hadn't returned to the dorm. Kaveh was supposed to be at the party too— he wasn’t nearly as detached enough to be uninvited— and he had the imprudent impulse to run to his closet for a change of clothes, until his gaze landed on the incomplete architectural manuscripts laid out haphazardly across the living room table.
Kaveh gave an exasperated huff and unlocked the door, fully expecting someone to be standing on the other side. A second passed. An eerie breeze brushed across his skin, and soon he found himself growing goosebumps because no one was standing on the other side. He had half a mind to resolve the situation by concluding that it was the deceit of a brain too far plunged into the labyrinth of architecture that caused a hallucination (perhaps his roommates’ endearing concern for his health was truly warranted).
However, the universe is known for its inane tricks of ostensibility. Before he completely made up his mind to shut the door, a thump emitted from below him.
“What the—”
Not a hint of hesitation flickered across his face before he reached down to pull up the person spread out disorderly on the carpeted hallway.
“Tighnari, what are you—”
An assailant, disguised as a drift of malodorous alcohol, struck him for a moment; a moment which forgoed all past pity and elicited a few grains’ worth of regret of the previously absent hesitation.
Kaveh moved to release Tighnari from his grasp, but Tighnari was swifter— even in a state of intoxication— and grabbed both of his shoulders, murmuring a string of slurred vernacular.
“Kavehhh.” Tighnari shook him, “He beat me againn.”
“Who?”
Kaveh pulled him into the dorm, flinching when his socked feet almost caused him to slip against the wooden flooring.
“That bird guy— shit, what was his name again? Vulture? Ugh, I don’t know.” Tighnari said, gripping onto the console table as he removed his shoes, and he would have already tipped over an innumerable number of times if it weren’t for Kaveh.
Although it was only a short distance, Kaveh’s shoulders were heaving from the arduous labour of supporting Tighnari’s weight.
With his sporadic breathing, “I thought you quit Origami Bird Clash?”
Tighnari deadpanned and looked at Kaveh solemnly, “I relapsed. I feel like an Akasha mommm.”
“Are you serious? What’s wrong with using Akasha?”
“Sorry, ahahaa.” Tighnari drew, getting up with newfound miraculous strength and plunged onto the couch where products of Kaveh’s assignment were still laid out.
Kaveh winced at the sound of crumpled paper. “My papers! Oh my gosh. Where’s Cyno? Why did you come back alone?”
“Cyno’s at… Whatareyoudoing?”
Kaveh looked at Tighnari, incredulous as he pulled the papers out from under him.
“Cyno’s what? Hey! Stop moving these papers are invaluable.”
“Cyno’s still at that damn party. Probably talking to someone else. Whatever. I don’t care. I don't want to think about it.”
It was well known around campus that Tighnari ordinarily bears an amicable nature, but in his drunken state, his brows were drawn together morosely, and under the spell of alcohol and jealousy, he portrayed an inapproachable figure.
“What?” Kaveh clutched his papers tighter, his voice coated with doubt, “Are you currently, as of right now, in this present situation, brooding? Because Cyno might be ‘talking to someone else’?”
Kaveh waited for a response, and with the attention span of a professional short-form content consumer, shook Tighnari after a few seconds of silence. Tighnari didn’t rouse from his intoxicated slumber, a laudable depiction of a carcass in his sleep.
“Are you serious?”
Right then, his phone vibrated in his pocket and he let out a frazzled groan when he saw the name on the screen.
“Hello?”
“Is Tighnari back at the dorm?” Cyno’s sombre voice sounded.
“Wow. Not even a greeting. Yeah he is; did you do anything wrong?”
Cyno’s voice became increasingly gruff, “What? Pass the phone over.”
“He’s sleeping. Sobbing his eyes out, chest heaving, snot all over his face.”
“What?” Cyno’s voice boomed through the minuscule phone speakers, “Hold on, I'm going back.”
“Take your time.” Kaveh sighed and hung up.
He gathered the scattered remains of his assignment and went back to his room, willing the enduring vestiges of procrastination to leave him at a faster pace.
By the time Cyno came back — and Kaveh knew only because of the deafening creak of their rotting front door— Kaveh was still in the process of inveigling himself. Convincing himself that architecture wasn’t going to be the end of him and that his project would thrive. He didn’t leave the room to greet Cyno; Kaveh was already beyond enervation.
“Can you stop playing that and eat?” Kaveh peered over at Tighnari’s phone.
“I can’t! After the new update this Vulture guy’s been getting on my nerves.”
“That’s all he’s been saying, but he’s never elaborated,” Kaveh said to Cyno, who was eating a pitiful meal of plain rice and egg.
“Apparently, the new Origami Bird Clash update lets people talk to each other on the app and user VultureVolans has been rude to him or something along those lines. He won’t tell me how their banter started or any unequivocal details,” A pause, “I guess you could say Tighnari’s beaked. Haha, get it? ‘Cause beaked sounds like piqued? And he’s being ragebaited by a vulture—”
“Quiet.” Tighnari didn’t look up from his phone. “I’m not being ragebaited; the guy’s just taciturnly impertinent.”
“Uh huh, whatever you say. What’s so hard about it anyway? Is it not just a copy of Candy Crush? Which is wonderfully unchallenging in and of itself.”
Tighnari actually looked offended this time, turning to look at Kaveh with his mouth left slightly agape.
“You try it then,” Tighnari mocked, shoving his phone into Kaveh’s hands and addressing the food in front of him. “If my rank drops, it’ll be over for you.”
Kaveh was almost done with his food anyway, could one distraction really hurt? He used the meagre knowledge he had of Candy Crush, completely ignoring the power-ups on the side of the screen. And maybe he found it fun; maybe he gained an unprecedented enthusiasm when the word ‘victory’ was displayed across the screen in capital letters; and perhaps he felt a sense of pride when Tighnari’s bird mascot did a celebratory pose. He might’ve possibly understood why Tighnari was so captivated by the game just by that one win. Oh no.
“This means I’ve won, right?” Kaveh showed the phone to Tighnari.
He was still in the process of engulfing a spoonful of rice when Kaveh bequeathed him the idea that he won, the spoon stopping before him.
“What the hell?” Tighnari exclaimed, letting his spoon fall into his plate. “Kaveh, you’re a natural!” He said when he forcefully snatched the device from Kaveh’s hold, subsequently seemingly tapping arbitrarily on the screen.
When the phone was returned to Kaveh, it showed a portion of a previous conversation between Tighnari and VultureVolans.
“Press ‘request a match’ and help me beat the shit out of that guy.” Tighnari grinned before reattending to his rice.
However, it is impossible for Kaveh to ignore his nosy urges when he is presented with a completely overt conversation. So, please forgive Kaveh for submitting to his impulsive hankering to pry.
The chat history between the two of them wasn’t particularly lengthy. In fact, the conversation was quite diminutive, but Kaveh could still gather two things from reading their succinct talk. Firstly, VultureVolans was outrageously— and sympathetically impertinent— curt and terse with his manner of speech. Secondly, that Tighnari might have been exaggerating with his piece of canard, because this is how their discourse went:
Wednesday, 15:37
foxlover: hey can u let me win the next time you play against me lol i dont want to derank again pls hahaha…
VultureVolans: Who is this?
foxlover: You’ve faced me before in ranked. im like almost top 100 so help a stranger out???
VultureVolans: There’s a reason why you can’t beat me. Try playing the game more to get better. If you did, perhaps you would stop crying over your subpar skill.
foxlover: what the hell??
Thursday, 11:48
VultureVolans: Stop requesting for a match.
foxlover: are you scaerd of me?? lmaoooooo
There were no more texts. Tighnari was left on read.
“Nari, you’re so sweet,” Kaveh said, looking up from the argument, a makeshift smile on his face.
“Excuse me?” A tinge of offence at Tighnari’s words.
Kaveh didn’t bother replying as he typed in three specific letters into the chatbox, pressed send, and then requested a match.
A few seconds passed. The usual clinks of silverware; the orthodox scrape of cafeteria chairs; and the habitual garrulousness of college students with disparate extents to their exhaustion but indistinguishable as an amalgam. Yet, as customary routine circulated Kaveh, he felt an aberrant emotion encapsulate him; a surging need to vanquish an enemy.
Kaveh could afford to mar his own reputation, but the enemy was Tighnari’s, so the necessity to win usurped every other current desire at the moment.
An immeasurable time— although Kaveh didn’t know whether it was immeasurable because of his idle mind or if the time that passed genuinely was colossal— passed before a match screen loaded. Kaveh attributed his astonished bewilderment to the lack of participatory spirit that VultureVolans elicited in previous disputes between him and Tighnari.
The nature of the sudden match was still dubious and Kaveh wondered if he inadvertently queued a game.
Then again, he had a reputation to uphold.
After selecting his origami bird and giving himself a mental pep talk, prompting himself to use the power-ups (what his first game had taught him, if anything), to channel all his focus into this one singular match of origami birds and—
It truly was quite laughably asinine.
There was nothing peculiar about the game, save for the times when Kaveh learned how to use the power-ups— although they were ultimately innocuous when deployed by him— and the fact that he lost.
Wait. What?
“I lost?” It was almost an audible yell amongst the raucous conversations of the cafeteria, and yet the two at the table flinched.
“Don’t worry Kaveh,” Tighnari reached to soothe his back, peering over to look at the screen in Kaveh’s hands, “I didn’t actually expect you to win against him, it’s fine.”
Cyno eyed the exchange between them, a concerned facade slowly encroaching his features the more he looked at Kaveh.
“Kaveh, have you been going for regular checkups lately? Tighnari and I aren’t worried for no reason, y’know.”
“Of course I have!” Kaveh didn’t even look up from the phone as he sent the same three letters to VultureVolans.
When Tighnari managed to seize his phone back, he instantaneously developed a sickly pallor, a paleness that only fear can elicit.
“Kaveh, you told him to kill himself?” Disbelief evinced itself in his voice.
Kaveh let out a hysterical guffaw, “Tighnari, you’re so sweet. You’re not going to get banned because of that.”
By the time Kaveh recovered from being thoroughly defeated, he had already missed half of his lecture, too dumbfounded to take notes.
Why he was so caught up in being trounced? Perhaps because his pride couldn’t bear the weight or due to the fact that he had severely underestimated VultureVolans and he grieved because of it.
Kaveh leaned over to his right, tapping at Nilou’s shoulder.
In a cadence barely above a whisper, “Nilou, lend me your notes after class? I forgot to take them.”
Nilou slowly peeled away from her tablet and looked at him, dumbstruck and hesitantly smiling, “What? Of course, but how could you forget?”
She glanced at the empty document on Kaveh’s laptop and winced so viscerally that Kaveh himself felt overwhelmed.
Kaveh felt awkwardness creep across his features in a mimicking grimace, a lopsided smile splayed across his lips.
Nevertheless, Nilou didn’t enquire despite her subtle scrutiny. After all, she was already well aware of Kaveh’s tendency to overwork himself, even though they hadn’t known each other for long.
This creative writing class wasn’t particularly important; a provisional arrangement at most— courtesy to Tighnari and Cyno’s incessant pleas for a break from architecture. There was no need for Kaveh to be assiduous for this class but it was his principle, after all, to be assiduous.
He unconsciously delved back into reflecting on his defeat and only realised his inattention when there was a tap on his shoulder, and he looked up to an empty lecture hall, save for the guy who usually sat next to him and the professor in front.
His professor looked at Kaveh and then nodded to the man next to him, “Thank you, Alhaitham.”
The guy who usually sat next to him only nodded back before leaving the room.
Kaveh felt a flush snake up his face. There was no need to, but for some reason, Kaveh found himself chasing after his deskmate after haphazardly shoving everything into his bag and intercepting him in the hallway.
“Hey!” Kaveh called out to him, “How long was I zoned out for?”
The guy who usually sat next to him glanced over and took his headphones off, but his gaze didn’t linger and returned to the path ahead, “Don’t know. Ask the prof.”
Before Kaveh could squeeze in more words, his phone vibrated.
“Kaveh.” Tighnari’s voice rang through the phone when Kaveh picked up, a piercingly agonising intonation along with his trepidation. “Please come to the dorm. Right. Now.”
Kaveh could only mask a melodramatic, weighted breath with an airy sigh.
“I’m not helping you with that.” Kaveh got off the couch.
“Wait!” Tighnari strenuously pulled him back down. “Remember when I helped you beg that professor for a better grade? You promised you would pay me back. Please.”
Kaveh looked at Tighnari, thoroughly bewildered. “Anything but making me an accomplice in your schemes. I’m not going to ask him out just so you can find out whether or not he has a secret girlfriend. How does that even work, anyway?”
“Just ask him out! If he rejects you, that’s gotta mean he’s hiding something.”
“Or… That could mean that he doesn’t want to date me?” Kaveh scrunched his eyebrows. “Why can’t you just ask him up front? I’m sure he’d tell you out of everyone.”
A look of affront coalesced with delight flashed on Tighnari’s face. “You really think that?”
“I’m sure of it.” Kaveh paused, “Why are you suddenly interested in Cyno’s love life?”
A subtle blush crept up Tighnari’s neck. “I’m just… concerned for him?”
Kaveh eyed Tighnari for a while before dropping the subject, “Alright, whatever.”
Kaveh inattentively reached over to the coffee table and grabbed Tighnari’s phone, swiping past the lockscreen wallpaper teemed with botanical formulas and frowning when he arrived at the passcode.
“Put in your password.”
Tighnari reached over without a word, typing the chain of numbers as his eyes stayed planted on the TV, enthralled by a mundane documentary of plants. Something like that. The eccentric media that Tighnari engrossed himself in didn’t seem capable of being enthralling to someone outside the study of botany. “I’ve seen him smile before. It’s a beautiful thing, let me tell you.”
“Please don’t.” Kaveh subconsciously tapped into Origami Bird Clash when Tighnari handed the phone back.
“Come on,” Tighnari dragged the syllables out. “If you won’t help me in my plan to figure out if Cyno has a romantic interest, at least try to listen”
Tighnari was already tuned out before Kaveh knew it. He tapped into the chat tab of the app, expecting disillusionment, but a reply from VultureVolans sat at the top of the page.
Friday, 10: 23
VultureVolans: ?
Friday, 17: 41
foxlover: stop playing this game and get a life
The reply was almost expeditious.
VultureVolans: You’re impertinent.
foxlover: and u’re horrifically deplorable at this game its almost flagrant.
VultureVolans: You don’t even have the Golden Origami Bird.
foxlover: what even is that
VultureVolans: You’re not even top 100.
foxlover: what is the golden origami bird??????
VultureVolans: How do you not know what the Golden Origami Bird is?
foxlover: okay well at least I have the sparkling Firefly bird
VultureVolans: That’s not a real thing.
foxlover: yeah I know I made it up. but this is what I’m talking about. you play this game so much taht you even know the sparkling firefly brid doesn’t exist. take a breather. live life. exist and be free
VultureVolans: I have already existed and lived multiple lives within this singular one of mine. Sometimes a distraction is what we need amidst the noise.
The message was unexpectedly sincere and a profound mellowness of understanding washed over Kaveh, and he couldn’t bring himself to make fun of VultureVolans for it. Guilt blended itself into the comfort and twisted his heart, squeezing it in its coarse palms. This time, it was foxlover who left VultureVolans on read.
“What the hell?” Tighnari muttered beside him.
Kaveh recuperated from his daze to see Scaramouche on the sofa chair, remote in hand. It took a while for Kaveh to register who Scaramouche was but had it not been for Scaramouche’s frequent command over the cleanliness of the kitchen, Kaveh would have forgotten that he was one of his roommates.
The banal documentary had been changed into a street interview where wholly different clips were put together to make the interviewee seem like they answered absurdly easy questions with absurdly wrong replies.
“How’d you get the remote?” Tighnari asked.
“It was on the table.” Scaramouche’s lips curved slightly upwards at something an interviewee said.
“Okay, well change it back? I was in the middle of watching something.”
“I’m tired of having to bear your stupid nature documentaries. Even Kaveh is exhausted.” Scaramouche turned to Kaveh, eagerly expecting him to be on his side.
Maybe Kaveh was tired of having to hear Tighnari’s documentaries, and maybe he let out a tiny, chiefly imperceptible, smile of agreement in response. But that was only hypothetical, a microscopic possibility, because who in their right mind would agree with Scaramouche?
“See? He’s not saying anything.” Tighnari let out a blinding grin.
Scaramouche scowled, “That’s ‘cause he’s a people pleaser.”
Tighnari only hummed indifferently, “Why weren’t you at the party anyway? Kaveh was busy with his assignments, what were you so occupied with.”
“He wasn’t invited.” Kaveh intercepted as swiftly as he could.
“What? Wasn’t everyone invited?” Intemerated perplexity radiated off Tighnari’s face.
“Not him.”
Scaramouche could only stay quiet, although there was a faint downcast in his features as the other two conversed about his null invitation.
“Can I have my phone back? I can’t believe you’re actually playing Origami Bird Clash after firmly denying it. I’m going to delete it.”
“What?” Kaveh straightened, “Why?”
“Damn. I was only joking ‘cause I’ve resolved to cease my addiction.”
His shoulders relaxed and yet the tension between his eyebrows proved less ephemeral, “But you like the game. Why would you quit it?”
“I don’t want Cyno to think I’m an akasha mom!”
Kaveh deadpanned, “He already makes jokes like a dad. Both of you can be an adorable and affectionate middle-aged couple, with that obnoxious ardent love between you guys, even though neither of you is close to being middle-aged.”
Tighnari imitated Kaveh’s unamusement. “Ha ha. Very funny.”
“Can you guys shut up?” Scaramouche spoke from his corner.
The next time Kaveh spoke to VultureVolans again was only until he was celebrating the end of midterm season— which, in all honesty, had been a few months since Kaveh last spoke to him— with his roommates in their dorm. Well, with two of his roommates. Cyno and Tighnari. Scaramouche was in his room sulking. Over what? Kaveh didn’t care enough to ascertain.
Somehow, Kaveh got drunk in the midst of their idea of a celebration (if a few cans of convenience store beer, some pizza and an exceedingly abysmal horror movie could be called a celebration) and ended up begging a barely conscious Tighnari for his password. He didn’t know why he would launch Origami Bird Clash when he was inebriated or even when he was as sober as he could have been.
There was another singular message from VultureVolans again. The message was sent at exactly 1:00 am. Kaveh could only remember a handful of times when he sent a message at exactly 1: 00 am, but perhaps he was overthinking it.
Tuesday, 1:00
VultureVolans: You’ve dropped ranks.
Friday, 23:34
foxlover: sry beenbusy uywith uh midterms fuckcolleg e
VultureVolans: What?
foxlover: I fickiong love arcitectyre thjo! love it regard less
Technically, Kaveh was neither Tighnari or foxlover, but VultureVolans didn’t know that, so he supposed that there was no harm in assuming Tignari’s personality for a while.
VultureVolans: Are you okay? Even if you consistently made typos, it has never been this severe.
foxlover: mu head hurts buT I WILL try tp type coehrently.
VultureVolans: Have you been drinking?
foxlover: yuuuup! midterm season is OVERRRRRR!!! arent u celerbting it too??? actually how old r u even
VultureVolans: Mideterms aren’t worth celebrating and I’m old enough to be in college.
foxlover: wow pessimist. u could be lile 56 and be in college. wgat do u study
VultureVolans: Linguistics.
foxlover: nerd
VultureVolans: You’re in architecture. How am I a nerd?
foxlover: wen did i call u a nerd????
VultureVolans: ?
Kaveh woke up the next day with a piercing throb in his head and an immense ache across his spine. Somehow, he had fallen to the floor after he fell asleep on the couch, his legs propped up on the coffee table.
It wasn’t until he was in the midst of brushing his teeth that he realised he had drunk texted a new figure in his life.
An abrupt stop of the faucet. A quick wipe of his mouth with a towel. The strident slam of the bathroom door. And Kaveh found his feet taking him to Tighnari, who was in the kitchen, brewing himself a concoction of honey and water.
“Tighnari. Give me your phone.”
Tighnari didn’t look phased, his face puffy from an intoxicated slumber. “On the couch somewhere. Just type in Cyno’s birthday.”
“Why is my birthday your password?” Cyno spoke from the couch where he was massaging his temples.
Tighnari coughed. “It was a dare.” He looked at Kaveh, frantically fumbling the cushions around. “Why do you need my phone?”
“I drunk texted VultureVolans!”
Tighnari coughed again. “What?”
Kaveh tapped on the Origami Bird Clash app, the loading screen lasting far longer than it customarily did. He sighed in relief when he found that he hadn’t humiliated himself.
Saturday, 8: 27
foxlover: hey. I am SO sorry for drunk texting you I didn’t mean to hahah just ignore whatever I said!!!
“Don’t you think you should tell him that you’re not me?” Tighnari spoke from beside him.
Kaveh jumped in place, juggling Tighnari’s phone in his hands. “Oh my gosh! Can you at least make a sound when you walk?” Kaveh handed the device back to him. “VultureVolans doesn’t care if foxlover is you or me.”
“You saying our gamertags out loud is giving me goosebumps, Kaveh.” Tighnari scrolled through the conversations between Kaveh and VultureVolans. “I can’t believe you’re friends with him now even though I asked you to help defeat him.”
“You don’t even play the game anymore.” Kaveh excused, “Anyway I gotta go. Morning class.”
“Since when did you have classes on a Saturday?” Cyno looked up, repulsed.
“Replacement class, prof missed the last one. Plus, it’s for the creative writing class you and Tighnari forced me into.”
Tighnari sighed, “And since when did they schedule replacement classes? Anyway, you needed a break from that demanding major. This is nothing.”
Kaveh wasn’t necessarily late so to speak— everyone else was just uncannily early. If he had known that there was a group project assigned that day, he would’ve made an effort to be a little punctual.
But when he got to class 43 minutes late, panting with perspiration dragging down his face, he had to bear the news that Nilou had already chosen Candace to be her partner. He wasn’t especially familiar with anyone else in this class and with the way no one seemed to be looking around and fidgeting for a partner, Kaveh closed his eyes and sighed.
The guy who usually sat next to him was reading, his head resting on his hand with his hair scruffed. The act itself wouldn’t be sanctimonious on its own, but with everyone and their multiloquence, their conversations laden with more topics of eloquent gossip than that of the project, he stood out.
With a quick prayer and precarious hopes, Kaveh reached out and tapped on his shoulder. The guy who usually sat next to him took off his headphones, and for the first time, Kaveh noticed the tangerine in his eyes. Although contrasting colours, the orange was dulled by the teal and his questioning gaze.
Kaveh gave a flash of a smile. “Do you have a partner?”
“No.”
“Will you be mine then?” Then, after hearing the phrase out loud, he added, “My partner. Will you be my partner?”
“Okay.”
The guy who usually sat next to him reached to put his headphones back on, but Kaveh was swifter in asking, “What’s your name, by the way? We’ve been deskmates for a few months now and I still don’t know it.”
“Alhaitham.”
Alhaitham, in an unobtrusive show of having given up, rested his headphones on his shoulders. His book was still propped open, but he looked at Kaveh with an inconsiderable pinch of earnestness now.
“What are you listening to?” Kaveh nodded his head to the device on his shoulders.
In a monotonous intonation, Alhaitham replied, “Nothing. They’re noise-cancelling.”
A nondescript answer such as that could only lead to dubious considerations. Kaveh didn’t think it was peremptory or an inherent essential to hold grudges against people who gatekept, and instead regarded it as an eccentric trait of people, himself included.
“Are you gatekeeping music?” Kaveh’s voice took on a tentative inflexion.
“I’m not listening to anything.”
Part of Kaveh’s doubt was ascribed to the fact that he would rather Alhaitham listen to music while he read rather than the swallowing vacuity of silence in a room full of loquaciousness.
He ignored Alhaitham’s previous attempt at defending himself, “Alright, let’s move on to the project. Can you give me a quick synopsis? I was late.”
“Evidently so.” Alhaitham’s eyes trailed to Kaveh’s closed bag and empty desktop. “We have to write a novella on any theme, but in our case, we can select it arbitrarily. Deadline is in 2 months”
“Okay. Any workshopping?”
“When is there not?”
“Okay!” Kaveh dragged the syllables out. “Should be easy. All we have to do is make sure we split the work evenly, and figure out a theme, right?”
Except it wasn’t as simple as Kaveh projected it to be. Because Alhaitham was the most difficult, impossible, intolerable, unbearable— and every word invented since the inception of language that is a synonym to the meaning— person he had ever had to deal with. Kaveh welcomed the adamance of others when vocalising their opinions on projects, but sometimes, he could only bear so much of the other party rejecting his ideas.
“Let’s write something in a historical setting. Maybe a tragedy?” Kaveh scribbled something unintelligible on his notebook.
“Overdone.”
“Okayyy.” Kaveh crossed out his first sentence, “What about… something closer to nonfiction but still delineated to a classic novella?”
“For example?”
“Perhaps a man who goes through something traumatic, then finds a better path in life. He improves his life philosophy, realises his past mistakes and forgives himself. Something philosophical, something sombre?”
“Boring and overdone.”
Kaveh felt an eye twitch. “Okay, not that then. Why don’t you bring some ideas to the table?”
“You were the one who wanted to be partners.”
An itch that threatened him to spill his most grotesque and vile words in the form of a scream coated his mouth in a metallic bitterness. It was only after tasting the metal did he finally stop biting the inner walls of his mouth in a rudimentary attempt to control himself. He thought back to how Alhaitham was sitting solitary at the beginning of the class and wondered if he chose to be isolated or if people circumvented him on purpose.
Somehow, without losing his sanity, he managed to go through half the creative writing class arguing with Alhaitham on the theme with whispers and almost-shouts. When he forsakened the topic of the theme, they moved on to debating whether to use Word or Google Docs for the project. At the end of class, Kaveh took a deep breath and callously tore a paper from his notebook, furiously scrawling something on it. He slammed the paper on the table.
“Text me. That’s it for today. I can’t deal with you anymore.”
He didn’t bother to check whether or not Alhaitham cared enough to scrutinise the note. Kaveh thought it might’ve been better if he hadn’t.
Saturday, 17:28
foxlover: i’m going to kill myself.
VultureVolans: There are two people on this account.
foxlover: what?
foxlover: how do you know?
VultureVolans: Scroll up.
Kaveh frowned and turned to look at Tighnari, who was giggling at something Cyno said. Apart from the apology he had sent that morning, there were several succeeding messages from foxlover that Kaveh hadn’t sent himself.
Saturday, 8: 27
foxlover: hey. I am SO sorry for drunk texting you I didn’t mean to hahah just ignore whatever I said!!!
Saturday, 8:35
VultureVolans: Celebrating midterms rendered you that drunk?
Saturday, 11:38
foxlover: why do u care??
VultureVolans: ?
foxlover: i js checked ur inventory btw. how do u not have the platinum origami bird???
VultureVolans: How do you know what that is?
foxlover: what do u mean? i used to almost be top 100, how could i not know what the platinum origami bird is?? Maybe i stopped playing for a while, but that doesn’t mean i deserve to be udnerestimate d.
VultureVolans: I’m not underestimating you. I didn’t think you would know what the platinum bird is if you didn’t even know about the Golden Origami Bird.
foxlover: WHAT? How could i not know abt the GOB??????
VultureVolans: ?
foxlover: stop trying to be eccentric by sending single question amarks
VultureVolans: Why are you so capricious?
foxlover: what the hell does that even mean
Ah. Kaveh understood two things now: VultureVolans didn’t need an unprecedented criterion of perspicacity to be able to discern that it was someone other than Kaveh who sent those messages. Secondly, it would be wise to concede and divulge that Kaveh wasn’t foxlover.
Yet, Kaveh found the second revelation to be slightly more challenging than the first. Confessing to VultureVolans wouldn’t be as malevolent as not telling him, but there was a demurring feeling in doing so. Perhaps it was the coalescence of the adrenaline in having his identity not known and the warmth of conversing with someone new that held Kaveh back.
Kaveh took in a deep breath and prayed to the dendro archon.
Saturday, 17:49
foxlover: uhm. I just read the messages
This time, VultureVolans didn’t reply immediately despite the green circle next to his profile indicating that he was online.
foxlover: I’m sorry for lying to you I don’t know why but I feel rlly guilty for talking to you using my friend’s acc. he told me to help defeat you so he could rank up lol but didn’t know I would end up talking to you this much.
Kaveh admitted that perhaps he had expected VultureVolans to reply as instantaneously as he normally did. He didn’t perceive VultureVolans to be the type to run out of words, but when he reread his apology a few times over, he realised that he wouldn’t know how to reply to it either. When he clicked on VultureVolans’s profile and saw that there was no text saying that he was in a match, Kaveh could only grow slightly more apprehensive; his gaze was constantly diverted from Tighnari’s phone.
And then, finally:
VultureVolans: I don’t hate you for it.
Kaveh’s pacing around the living room ceased as soon as he saw the message, typing something in reply before VultureVolans could lose interest. In hindsight, it was a pathetic imitation of the tricks of a modern advert.
foxlover: really? why not?
VultureVolans: Do you want me to be angry?
foxlover: no! But u shld be. I mean, that’s what I learnt in anger magnemetn therapy
VultureVolans: I’m not bottling up my feelings, if that’s what you mean. I just
There was no period after the word ‘just’ and its prominent absence disturbed Kaveh. Kaveh honestly didn’t need more cortisol spikes and he also didn’t need his old habit of nail biting to resurface again. But, he just couldn’t stop talking to VultureVolans.
foxlover: just what???
VultureVolans: I just can’t get mad at this situation.
foxlover: then, does this count as making up?
VultureVolans: There was no need for making up in the first place. I barely know you.
foxlover: right.
foxlover: anyway! now that the cat’s out of the bag! shld I make my own acc? This game seems fun
VultureVolans: It’s your choice.
foxlover: I’ll let u know when I do!!!
To his surprise, he woke up the next morning to a text from an unsaved number:
“This is Alhaitham.”
Kaveh stared at the three succinct words and rubbed at his eyes, the edges of the screen blurring. It was 6 a.m. and despite the rare period of lengthy rest he got last night, he had no energy to be angry at Alhaitham.
It was only after his morning meditation and shower that he finally wedged out the tolerance needed to text the man.
Me: we’re meeting up at this cafe
fucking loser: What cafe?
Me: wait be patient the photo is sending my wifi is bad sry. why the hell did u reply so fast
fucking loser: ?
Me: *attached a photo*
fucking loser: Do I have a choice?
Me: No. it’s a sunday do u have classes?
fucking loser: No. I just don’t want to go out.
Me: the hell??? R u a hermit or smth
fucking loser: Funny.
Me: ok well I don’t actually care all that much abt what u think. we’re meeting up at 10 am whether u like it or not. the cafe isnt even taht far from campus
fucking loser: Fine.
Me: and we’re using google docs.
fucking loser: No, we’re not.
Me: why does it matter???
fucking loser: I could ask you the same thing.
Me: u’re geneuienly insufferable. I hope you know that.
fucking loser: Why are you still partnering with me, then?
Me: compromises have to be made unfortunately
fucking loser: I’m hurt.
Me: u’re not funny.
At precisely 9:56 a.m., Kaveh left the dorm and took his time with the short walk to the cafe, if only he could keep Alhaitham waiting a little longer and only because he allowed himself to be petty, assuming Alhaitham wasn’t doing the same thing.
At precisely 9:58 a.m., Kaveh stopped by the side of his dorm building to take a photo of some kind of ordinarily appearing brown bird building a nest.
At precisely 10:05 a.m., the cafe was already a chaotic ensemble of different people with their own different experiences, all cooped up in this one building.
At approximately a few seconds into 10:06 a.m., Kaveh spotted Alhaitham in the corner of the cafe. Truth be told, he had already seen him through the large cafe windows earlier, but he specifically made a show of scanning the bijou diner.
“You’re late.” Alhaitham didn’t look up from his book.
Kaveh smiled inwardly, “Sorry! There were so many things holding me up on my way here. Crazy.”
Alhaitham looked out the window at the empty street from which he saw Kaveh come.
“Anyway.” Kaveh sat across from Alhaitham and looked at the bare table. “You haven’t ordered?”
Alhaitham put his book down. “I can’t drink coffee after 9:30.”
“What? But this is a cafe, you’re supposed to drink coffee at a cafe.”
“I won’t be able to sleep later.”
“How could you go to a cafe without drinking coffee? Cafe literally means coffee in French.”
“Is that supposed to be esoteric knowledge?”
“This is a cafe!” Kaveh gasped, ditto.
“Well, maybe we should’ve gone to the library then.”
“You won’t even order food?”
“Overpriced.”
“So you’ve just been sitting here, reading, for…?”
“About 10 minutes.” Alhaitham shrugged.
Kaveh smiled inwardly again. “Okay whatever, if you won’t eat, I won’t either.”
“How thoughtful of you.”
“Alright. Bitter vitriol aside! We have a project to do. We haven’t even started on the outline yet. I’ll send you the Google Doc link.”
“I’m not using that.”
“Why can’t you just set your pride aside and submit to the fact that Google Docs is better when it comes to group projects?”
“I don’t have a Google account.”
Kaveh’s mouth dropped in repulse. “What?”
Alhaitham pulled his headphones over his head.
“What the hell? You can’t just listen to music in the middle of our conversation!”
Alhaitham only tilted his head in response, an infuriating facade.
An agonising snap of his jaw brought Kaveh out of his perfunctory thoughts to exsanguinate the man in front of him. Kaveh could only surmise that it was because of an unknown prerogative of Alhaitham that caused Kaveh to withhold from punching him right then and there.
Instead, he took out his laptop, created a document, and sent it to Alhaitham— all with furious, overly forceful smashes of his keyboard.
A little later into their arrangement, Kaveh stopped typing and asked, “By the way, what music are you listening to?”
Alhaitham lifted one side of his headphones. “Sorry?”
Kaveh released an audible breath, “What music are you listening to?”
“Nothing.”
“You don’t have to gatekeep. Your music taste probably isn’t even underground.”
Alhaitham looked at him as if he wanted to be anywhere else but there at the moment. Nevertheless, he sighed and took his headphones off, sliding them across the table. Kaveh picked them up, expecting to hear something; a soft, mellow cadence; or heavy metal drums; a saxophone; perhaps an idiosyncratic instrument.
But there was nothing.
It was genuinely just silence. He couldn’t even hear Alhaitham’s voice when he mouthed the words ‘believe me now?’. He took them off when the silence became stifling, sliding them across the table, a look of impress and disbelief splayed across his features.
“How do you wear those unironically? Actually, better question: how have you been able to hear what I’ve been saying this entire time?”
“If you wear these long enough, the silence won’t be quiet enough.”
“Weirdo. And here I thought you were hesitant to altruism.”
“Who isn’t hesitant to altruism in the first place? Benevolence is learned.”
“Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Munificence is learned to not be expedient for survival, so it is hesitancy that is learned instead.”
Alhaitham considered the statement for a moment, then sighed, “I guess it all comes down to the individual rather than the hypotheticals. You shouldn’t be too besotted with hypotheticals if it is reality you want to confront.”
“I want to confront nothing,” Kaveh said, a line that was more for the moment than actually factual.
A bold sigh and unfiltered disgruntlement in Alhaitham’s eyes, and finally, “I don’t care about what you want to confront. Just, please confront this project with every confrontation energy you have.”
“Ah.”
Kaveh glanced at the time on his phone, and it was nearly an hour past noon.
Which was strange, because Kaveh hadn’t noticed the filtering of people in and out of the cafe, or the changes in the shadows outside, or the increase in vehicles on the roads. He did a quick scroll through the Google Doc of their outline and the beginning pages of their novella; on the path of being slightly meritorious, in Kaveh’s benchmark of judgement.
“Alright, I think this is good enough for today. Our outline is decent enough, and the start is okay, I guess. My back’s starting to hurt too”
“I still don’t think the hook of the story is sufficiently compelling.”
Kaveh stopped in his tracks, his hand midway through returning his notebook to his bag. “We’ve revised the hook 5 times, Alhaitham.”
“I’m aware.”
“Then, what’s the problem?” Kaveh shoved his laptop into his bag.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, you better figure it out by our next scheduled meeting. Because this is enough of you for me to handle today.”
“I’m hurt.”
“Again, you’re not funny!”
But Kaveh caught the vestiges of a slight smile on his lips when he stood up and left Alhaitham sitting alone. Of course, that isn’t to say that Alhaitham wasn’t utterly vexing, Kaveh was fortunately adept at finding the silver lining in unfortunate situations, which, in this case, was the fact that it was slightly amusing.
Me: help
nilou!: hey Kaveh what’s up?
Me: I cantt stand my partner
nilou: Kaveh, you’re amazing but I don’t think you can stand anyone, actually.
Me: what the freak?? you’re suppsd to be on my side, consoling me or wtv
nilou!: am I??
Me: Nilou???? It’s so over…
nilou!: who’d you partner w again? Alhaitham? He’s not so bad! I mean it’s not like I know him that well but like our past interactions were all amiable!
Me: didn’t u hear us quarelling in class a few days ago??? wdym he’s not so bad
nilou!: yeah I did. I’m pretty sure half the class did. I just thought it was normal for divorced couples to fight like that.
Me: nilou???????????????????
nilou!: :smile: see you later Kaveh!
“Get off your phone and help with the dishes for once.”
Kaveh snapped out of his daze and looked at Scaramouche peering over him, his stupidly gargantuan hat blocking almost his entire view. He got off the couch and made his way to the sink slowly.
“Why do you almost wear the same hideous hat everywhere you go?”
Scaramouche scoffed, “You only call it hideous because you evidently don’t know what a good hat is.”
“Hey!” Kaveh turned, “Why does everyone call you ‘Hat Guy’ as if you’re some sort of connoisseur in the topic of headgear, even though you only own one ludicrous hat.”
“The only thing ludicrous is the fact that you try to clandestinely ask Tighnari for his phone just to talk to some bird guy.”
“That is not ludicrous.”
Tighnari walked into the kitchen, hair mussed from a nap. “He probably only wears that big hat to make up for his small size.”
Scaramouche furrowed his brows. “And who invited you, you botanical freak?”
“Oh, Kaveh.,” Tighnari gave Kaveh his phone, and then, in a teasing tune, “VultureVolans is looking for you.”
“These dishes are never getting washed,” Scaramouche sighed.
No one bothered replying.
Monday, 07:34
VultureVolans: Have you made it?
Friday, 17: 25
foxlover: made what?
foxlover: ohhh the acc
foxlover: yeah I added u a few days ago im pretty sure I js thought u didn’t wanna accept my friend req
Friday, 19:27
VultureVolans: ?
VultureVolans: Are you fatteh79?
foxlover: YEAH add me back pls
VultureVolans: I’m rejecting it.
foxlover: wtv.
VultureVolans: I’m joking.
foxlover: very funny
VultureVolans: I know.
Kaveh heaved a sigh and walked over to the bathroom. He leaned on the door frame when he saw Tighnari indiscriminately fiddling with toiletries as he waited for the running shower to heat up.
“What time is the hangout again?”
Tighnari looked up from the shampoo bottle he was scrutinising. “Around eight? Can I have my phone back?”
Occasionally, it wouldn’t be abnormal for Tighnari to be slightly euphoric after a short nap, but that was only speaking in terms of an exiguous increase in tolerance for others, or a petty upward tilt to his lips. But today, it wasn’t a mere, inconspicuous tilt; Tighnari was full-on smiling.
“Why are you so happy?” Kaveh frowned, returning the phone to its rightful owner.
“Are you telling me I can’t be happy?”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“It’s nothing. My nap was just more pleasant than normal.”
Kaveh raised an eyebrow, dissecting the nervous biting of Tighnari’s lips, the twiddling of his fingers, and the otherwise unobtrusive shift of his feet against the cold shower tiles. Kaveh didn’t probe further, leaving Tighnari to his shower after the brief inspection of his body language.
Their hangouts hadn’t become customary yet, but Kaveh could agree that they were on the way to being close to it, at the very least. It was only self-explanatory with Kaveh’s non-negotiable schedule, with rarely any gaps in between; Dehya’s dedication to being a personal trainer; and Cyno’s stand-up comedy side gig. Candace, Nilou and the others had their own shortcomings, too, but at this point, listing all their setbacks would be superfluous. The only thing that mattered was that recently, they started collectively putting aside some time for each other.
It was wont for Dehya and Candace to be late, so the remaining of them sat in a placidity waiting to be marred by the chaos of conversation.
Nilou started, “Nari, how’d you manage to find this bar?”
Tighnari’s ears perked up at being prompted. “Oh! I was looking at the shrubbery outside! Before that, I was actually going to meet up with Cyno but then I spotted a peculiar-looking mushroom, which is implausible for a mushroom to look bizarre to me. Then, I noticed the even weirder-looking plants near it. I’m not sure how long I was scrutinising the whole thing before I found the entrance to this shabby bar.” Tighnari lowered his voice at the last few words as he glanced at the bartender. “Anyway, back to the mushrooms they actually bore a resemblance to philanemos but—”
“Alright! Enough.” Kaveh cut him off.
“No, no, let him continue.” Nilou took a sip of her drink.
“You’re only letting him ‘cause you can get drunk and I can’t because it’s out of my budget.”
“Hey, I’ll have you know I abstained for a good few months for an opportunity like this.” Nilou pointed her glasses at him.
Kaveh sighed, “Maybe I should’ve done the same.”
“It’s fine, Kaveh! Think about it like this: you get to drink cheaper but more alcohol if you don’t save up—”
A palm placed on top of her head interrupted Nilou.
“You should treat Candace and me to a drink sometime in the future,” Dehya said as she peered down at Nilou.
Cyno straightened, “Finally. It was a champagne waiting for you guys to get here.”
“Alright, alright, drink some more, apparently you’re not inebriated enough,” Tighnari said, patting Cyno’s back as he poured more wine into Cyno’s glass.
Candace smiled, “We brought someone along with us, if you guys don’t mind.”
It was only then that the bevy turned to perceive Alhaitham; he had been so inconspicuous that someone as observant as Nilou hadn’t even noticed him. Kaveh was the first to recognise him.
“Alhaitham?” Kaveh stood up abruptly.
Dehya’s eyes widened. “You know him?”
“Ohh! You’re the guy from the creative writing class!” Nilou exclaimed.
“What?” Candace furrowed her eyebrows. “But we’re in the same class and I’ve never seen Alhaitham before.”
“He sits like two places from you?” Nilou said with her eyebrow raised, the question more rhetorical than serving any actual purpose.
Candace’s eyes widened, “What? You’re joking.”
She turned to look at Alhaitham. Alhaitham looked like he didn’t want to be there.
“Can we sit down?” Was Alhaitham’s first sentence since he arrived.
In the end, they had to shuffle around, because for a reason inexplicable to the current point of narrative, Tighnari was insistent on sitting next to Cyno, and vice versa. Dehya gave subtle hints about having her and Candace next to each other, and Nilou’s smile faltered ever so slightly each time she was asked to switch seats.
So, now with the preface given, this was how Kaveh found himself sitting next to Alhaitham. He would’ve sat with Nilou, but by the second time she was forced to change seats, she placed her bag on the seat next to her and resolutely told the others to, in summary, build the seating arrangement around her.
Kaveh didn’t place a single shred of culpability on her; chiefly because she’s Nilou and secondly, he still had the inhibitions Alhaitham gave him.
Except he couldn’t spill his words out in a satisfying unbridledness since Alhaitham was fervently typing on his phone. He shifted around to get a good look at Alhaitham’s screen, but no angle could bypass his privacy screen protector.
He gave up after a while and addressed the buzz from his phone.
Friday, 20: 35
VultureVolans: What do you order at a bar?
fatteh79: what????????
VultureVolans: What is that supposed to express?
fatteh79: confusion, sceptism and shock prolly
VultureVolans: ?
fatteh79: well mainly confusion because the obvious answer wld be to order several servings of fatteh and scepticism cause I can’t believe u’re in a bar
VultureVolans: I have a life outside of my online persona.
fatteh79: im aware. I js imaginged you to be a nerd who reads and plays this game all day
VultureVolans: Only you could tacitly compliment my intelligence while simultaneously insulting me.
fatteh79: I KNOW! you’re welcome!
VultureVolans: Am I correct in saying that you weren’t serious about ordering a multiplicity of fatteh?
fatteh79: omg baby’s first inference! Im so proud <3
VultureVolans: ?
“Alright guys, no phones at the dinner table.” Dehya’s voice came through the cluster of replies in Kaveh’s head.
Ultimately, he decided he didn’t know how to reply and placed his phone in the middle of the table where the others’ phones were stacked. (The whole idea to be bereft of their phones was courtesy to Dehya herself when she realised that everyone was practically welded to their own devices during their first hangout— thank you, Dehya.)
“Nari, why was the phone scared of the dentist?” Cyno started.
Tighnari heaved a deep sigh and rubbed his face, “Why?”
“It didn’t want to lose its Bluetooth.” Cyno delivered, deadpan.
Nilou observed the interaction with concern plastered on her face, before leaning over to Kaveh. “Don’t you think they’re a little too close?”
Kaveh leaned in too, “What do you mean?”
“Look at the way their elbows touch. There’s no way friends have that much skin contact.”
“Nilou, what the hell are you talking about? Are you okay?”
Nilou frowned, her tone rising above the threshold of a whisper. “Fine, don’t believe me. Just you wait.”
Cyno manifested a deck of TCG cards from the depths of his pocket and spread it across the table. “Anyone up for TCG?”
“You still haven’t compensated for your last loss,” Alhaitham spoke up before everyone else.
Kaveh straightened up, “What? ‘Last loss’? You know Alhaitham, Cyno?”
Cyno shrugged, “We play TCG sometimes.”
“Haha! And you didn’t care to mention it?” Dehya nudged Candace.
“Ow. Keep your elbow to yourself.”
“I didn’t think it was important.” Cyno started distributing the cards.
“Are you better than Cyno, Alhaitham?”
Alhaitham had begun to respond when Cyno cut him off steadfastly, “Of course not.”
“I’m going to be better than Cyno one day, though,” Tighnari spoke up.
When their dinner arrived, the conversation moved at a similar pace— predominantly hovering over small talk and occasionally drifting back to the ongoing TCG game in front of them. Kaveh had no qualms about the arrangement; even if the topics barely skidded across the surface of the matters, he appreciated the company.
It should be established that Kaveh hadn’t seen Alhaitham take a sip of the draft beer he ordered and Kaveh didn’t believe the feeble excuses Alhaitham threw out now and then. He decided that he couldn’t let an alluring glass of beer become a part of the effluence whisking along ocean waters.
But Nilou had noticed Alhaitham’s teetotalled state, too, and more so the fact that Kaveh and he were the only ones who were sober.
She was already a few glasses in, and her words slurred with her body. “Kaveh… I’m craving gas station ice cream. I don’t know why. Can you help me get some?” And then, in a cadence slightly above a whisper, “You should take Alhaitham with you!”
“In this weather?” Kaveh pleaded.
Nilou batted her eyelashes in a rough attempt at persuasion. “Yes, in this weather.”
Kaveh turned to look at Alhaitham. Alhaitham turned to look at Kaveh.
“Come on! Get moving.” Nilou made a gesture with her hands to rush them along, unaware of the bob of Alhaitham’s Adam's apple and the lopsided smile actualising on Kaveh’s face.
Kaveh’s eyebrows knitted in plea, “Nilou, I’m feeling a little fatigued, actually. Aren’t you tired too, Alhaitham?” He elbowed Alhaitham.
“Unfortunately. My current lethargy isn’t letting me stand up.”
Nilou crossed her arms. “You guys think you’re more lethargic than the rest of us? Look at Candace. She’s crying her eyes out. Just… a quick walk to the nearest gas station? Please?”
Kaveh sighed and stood up, “Fine.”
He was halfway towards the exit when Nilou looked at Alhaitham with a questioning tilt of her head. “You too. Get going.”
Alhaitham sighed in a similar manner and picked up his coat.
The night wind was shrewd and it pierced Kaveh’s skin. If he focused hard enough, he could hear, beneath his shivering breath, the gravel crunching under his feet.
“Where are you going?” Alhaitham called from behind him.
Kaveh stopped, “Nearest convenience store.”
Alhaitham didn’t look as fazed by the weather as Kaveh. “The nearest gas station is that way.” Alhaitham pointed behind him.
“I know. But it’s a 20-minute walk. I’m not cut out for that, unfortunately.”
Alhaitham caught up to him, “You’re not cut out for a 20 minute walk?”
“I’m not cut-out for a 20 minute walk in this algid weather.” He kicked some gravel at Alhaitham.
“It’s not that cold.”
“Yeah ‘cause your coat’s way thicker than mine. Some apricity would be nice right now.”
“Are you trying to get me to switch coats with you?”
“Haha! Don’t make me laugh.”
“I thought I wasn’t funny.”
Kaveh deadpanned and turned to look at Alhaitham, although he was focused on the road ahead. The silence that supervened was intolerable with how its potency penetrated Kaveh’s skin until it hurt more than the cold of fall and he couldn’t tell whether the goosebumps were from the deprivation of calefaction or the awkward air between them.
If it were anyone else, Kaveh would’ve been able to grasp at a mere dust particle of conversation, a speckle of discourse. But holding a long conversation with Alhaitham seemed implausible.
All while he underwent the challenge of rumination and introspection of his sociability, Alhaitham remained concentrated on the road ahead, unaware of Kaveh's brewing thoughts.
Finally, as they turned a corner into a gloomy alley, Alhaitham spoke, “How far is this convenience store?”
Kaveh walked in front of him and turned to face him, walking backwards. “I don’t know. You should never follow random strangers. What if I’m here to kidnap you?”
He made a gesture of raising his arms above his head; a gesture one would use to intimidate bears.
Alhaitham blinked once.
“No?” Kaveh lowered his arms, “You’re not scared?”
Alhaitham blinked twice.
“Okay, whatever, not only are you not funny, you’re not fun either.”
Alhaitham blinked thrice, “What was I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know? Act scared? Scream?”
“Your face isn’t atrocious enough for me to scream, Kaveh.”
Kaveh’s heart thumped slightly harder. Slightly. “Thanks. The store’s down this alley, hurry.”
The warmth of the convenience store embraced Kaveh like a vice and he left Alhaitham to choose the ice cream while he hovered near the heater. He watched as Alhaitham shifted to the side every so often as he scrutinised the ice cream flavours.
Eventually, Kaveh couldn’t watch Alhaitham’s careful examination anymore and he left the mellowness of the heater.
“What’s taking you so long?” He went up to Alhaitham.
“These brands are new to me. I don’t know which one the group will like.”
“Well, you can’t go wrong with mint chocolate chip.”
Alhaitham furrowed his brows.
“You can absolutely go wrong with that. Who wants dental care in their ice cream?”
“Okay, first of all, it doesn’t taste like toothpaste at all. Secondly, now that I think about it, dental care and ice cream aren’t a bad combination.”
“I thought I was supposed to be the unfunny one.”
Kaveh kicked Alhaitham lightly, “Will you stop focusing on that one point of our conversation where I called you unfunny? And also, I wasn’t joking. Even though the amalgamation of the two is counterintuitive, they’ll cancel each other out.”
“You’re wrong.”
“What?”
“The amalgam of the two can only be counterintuitive if people eat ice cream solely for the reason to ruin their teeth.”
“Well,” Kaveh looked to the side, “There are several billion people on this planet.”
Alhaitham’s gaze glazed over the ice cream display before responding, “Then I want to rearticulate my previous statement: There is a preponderance of people who do not eat ice cream solely to ruin their teeth than those who do. And, if you want to take biases into account, I have never met someone so demented.”
“Fair. I hate that I agree with you though.”
“You don’t have to— many people agree with me already.”
Kaveh chuckled, “That was pretty funny.”
“Thank you.” Alhaitham grabbed three tubs of dental care ice cream from the display.
“Do you even hang out with people, though? I’ve never seen you talk to anyone else outside of the Crewmeru.” Kaveh took two out of Alhaitham’s hands and placed them back into the display. “I’m budgeting this month; one’s enough.”
“We share one class. And, the what? Crewmeru?” Alhaitham tilted his head. “Also, these aren’t even expensive.”
“Okay. Fair point again, one class shared isn’t enough data, but you give off the vibes of someone who sits in his room on the weekends, reading a weird abstruse book.”
“What else am I supposed to do?”
“I don’t know,” Kaveh shrugged, “Call up your friends and fool around?”
“I already play TCG with Cyno on Thursdays and go to the gym with Dehya on Mondays; that’s enough socialisation for the week. I don’t need people.”
Kaveh heedlessly gazed at Alhaitham’s arms, which were unfortunately covered by the thick fabric of his jacket. “What about video games? You don’t look like you’d be great at video games though.”
Alhaitham paused, “No.”
Kaveh lifted a brow at his hesitation, but paid it no mind. “What about today then? If that’s enough socialisation for you, why’d you come?”
“I lost a bet with Dehya.”
“Hahaha.” Kaveh hit Alhaitham’s shoulder in his fit of laughter.
“We’re getting three tubs. I’ll pay.”
“I thought you said no one liked mint chocolate chip? Who’s going to finish all of that?”
“Just take them home if no one finishes them.”
When they returned, the group was in the middle of a round of TCG, the cards in a disordered layout relative to their usual arrangement, and the group’s words slurred.
“Three tubs?!” Nilou straightened when Alhaitham displayed them on the table one by one.
Kaveh instantly pointed at Alhaitham. “His idea, not mine.”
Alhaitham only shrugged, and they both took their seats.
“I thought you said these people were too tired.” Kaveh gave Nilou a pointed look.
Tighnari chimed in, “Never too tired for TCG, right Cyno?”
Kaveh turned to Cyno, his countenance morphing into raw shock when he saw the man in repose.
Dehya laughed after examining Kaveh's face, “I know right? First time he’s missed a round of TCG. Tighnari’s replacing him though— since when did you get so good?”
“Since he quit Origami Bird Clash.” Kaveh lifted a glass of water to his lips.
“The hell is that?” Dehya frowned.
“It’s like a knock-off Candy Crush.”
“Hey!” Tighnari gasped, “Don’t act like you’re not always playing Origami Bird Clash after I quit.”
“Okay, always is a stretch. I occasionally go on there.”
“Yeah, just to talk to—”
“You play Origami Bird Clash?” Alhaitham interrupted from beside him.
A flush enveloped Kaveh’s skin, which was normally a telltale sign that he was inebriated, but things are fickle. “No, I don’t…Well, yes I do, but… Can we drop the subject?” He waved his arms around like a flailing bird.
Dehya guffawed and Tighnari gave a teasing scoff.
Sunday, 7:16
fatteh79: how was your first bar experience?
VultureVolans: It wasn’t my first bar experience.
fatteh79: woah. Did not expect that.
VultureVolans: ?
fatteh79: ok sorry lol. what’d u order?
VultureVolans: Beer. I didn’t get drunk.
fatteh79: lmao did u js order it and not drink it
VultureVolans: How do you know?
fatteh79: one of my uh friends did the same thing the other day. He reminds me of u actually.
VultureVolans: Nice to know you think about me.
fatteh79: That’s not what I said.
VultureVolans: It says your message is unavailable.
fatteh79: haha that actually lightened up my mood a little. u shld be a therapist.
VultureVolans: What’s wrong with you?
fatteh79: rude.
VultureVolans: I mean, are you okay?
fatteh79: no, not really. But it’s js the usual feels you get me???
VultureVolans: I don’t.
fatteh79: damn, lucky. I guess I just ruminate abt shit I did in the past and it just eats me alive. it’s not that big of a deal, just small pet peeves that make me hate how I used to be.
VultureVolans: Well, you had to be that person to be this one.
fatteh79: man the hell?? you’re actually good at comforting. but I guess it’s just the stress that comes with architecture and all, makes me feel more vulnerable these days. I’m not even sure I’d succeed as an architect. I want to, but I just
fatteh79: I just don’t know yfm?
VultureVolans: Haha.
fatteh79: ???? r u laughing at me???
VultureVolans: If you don’t know, then who will?
fatteh79: oh
fatteh79: I hate that you’re right
VultureVolans: I know.
For the succeeding minutes, Kaveh pivoted from a prompting question to deleting it, and henceforth oscillated between this silly, insecure attempt at preventing the conversation from dying and being too scared to commit to the attempt. Eventually, he settled on a promising question and on a promising state of mind.
fatteh79: anyways, u said this wasn’t your first bar experience?
VultureVolans: What about it?
fatteh79: how was your first experience then?
VultureVolans: Nothing significant. A classmate invited me during my first year.
fatteh79: well?
VultureVolans: Nothing happened. I left early.
fatteh79: lmao the hell. did u order anything? talk to anyone?
VultureVolans: No.
fatteh79: hahahah that’s actually so sad
VultureVolans: Thank you. Should I have talked to someone then?
fatteh79: yeah??? Especially in your first year that was probably your best opportunity at making friends
VultureVolans: Wow. Thanks for telling me I fucked up.
fatteh79: woah.
VultureVolans: What?
fatteh79: you just… swore… on this child-friendly game…
VultureVolans: I would like to impart that I just let out a sigh.
fatteh79: hahahahah. what are u doing now besides that??
VultureVolans: I’m at a library.
fatteh79: omg me too!
fatteh79: im lying. I’m at this nice sequestered Italian restaurant but there are shelves decked with books here! there’s also a canzonetta playing or at least that’s what my friend’s telling me idk but the melody makes me exultant
VultureVolans: You don’t seem this easy to please when we speak.
fatteh79: okay rude but who isn;t pleased to listen to music especially if it’s a tune you’ve just discovered??? Actually wait I know this guy who listens to absolutely nothing just complete silence. Nothing. Isn’t that weird?
VultureVolans: What?
fatteh79: hmm?
fatteh79: okay gotta go. My food came.
VultureVolans: See you?
Kaveh smiled at the promise. He looked up when Tighnari cleared his throat from across him, his brows furrowing curiously after seeing a smile on both Tighnari's and Cyno’s countenances directed at him and Scaramouche beside him.
The vibe suddenly turned from the would-be affable nature of their rare roommate dinner excursion into an unexplainably capricious air around them. Kaveh glanced at Scaramouche, who looked just as perplexed. He spoke first.
“Why do you guys look like that?” Scaramouche grimaced at the plastered smiles.
“We know your food is here, but Cyno and I have something to announce.”
There is less flippancy in Tighnari’s voice than Kaveh would like, and in the moment, he prepared for a horrid revelation to be laid upon him; perhaps they required help to hide an inadvertent murder or perhaps they somehow fell into debt.
“Oh no.” Kaveh heard Scaramouche mutter, but there was too much blood rushing into Kaveh’s ears to confirm.
“What is it?” He asked.
Tighnari’s grin widened before saying, “Cyno and I are together!”
Both Tighnari and Cyno raised their hands in triumph.
“Oh no,” Kaveh said.
Tighnari’s hands slightly lowered, “What?”
The false, sad implication of Kaveh’s words caught up to him. “Oh no! I mean, congratulations! I meant ‘oh no’ as in Nilou was right. She was right about you two having too much skin-on-skin contact, and that she’s probably going to laugh smugly at me when she finds out. I can’t let that happen— that’s too embarrassing.”
Tighnari laughed, “I’m sure she won’t care about being smug, right Cyno?”
Cyno was obliged to nod.
Scaramouche heaved a deep sigh, “Can I eat now?”
“Aren’t you happy for us?” Tighnari said.
“No, it was obvious that you guys were kissing behind our backs.”
If their romance was evident to Scaramouche, then what does that make Kaveh? Sure, Scaramouche was even more observant than the average university student. Perhaps it was true that Kaveh ought to spend more time outside of his passion for architecture. Perhaps simply basking slightly longer in the contentment of showers or morning walks wasn’t enough to notice the brewing chemistry between two of his closest friends.
Perhaps he needed to stop overthinking.