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Party Harder Baby!

Summary:

In which the YJ team go hard partying ,start fighting crime while high ,and end up in jail...

Notes:

I was bored and this amused me.On a YJ kick lately

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Busted!

Chapter Text

“My parents are gonna kill me,they’re gonna kill me…”,Jaime Reyes panicked,pacing the cell.

“This honestly could have turned out worse”,Wally said.

“HOW? Tell me how this could possibly be worse?We're in jail  ,Wally!”,Tim said,irritably.

“We’re alive ?”,Wally said.

“We won’t be when Bruce finds out”,Dick said.

"Actually,if Kaldur was here,it'd get ugly--what with him being black and all",Tim said.

"Whoa!What the hell does that mean?",Roy called.

"No...just we usually get in more trouble with him--it's not him! It's the system!",Tim said.

"Yeah,okay gringo,whatever you say",Jaime said,and Tim looked at him confused while everyone else glared.

“Right...Listen!We’ll be fine! It’s just for the night and--okay,you know what?! No…no…Artemis,she'll bitch…okay,totally dead”,Wally said,panicking.

“I wanna bend these bars--they're like silver gummy worms...but it's too obvious",Conner said,earning him strange looks.

"Can’t Bart just like vibrate through the bars and get us out?”,Conner added.

“Yeah--except he’s so fucking high and if I wake him up,he’ll start acting completely fucking loco.Dios mio,why did I even--I’m not even drunk enough for this !”,Jaime said.

“And,that’s prison break “,Tim said.

“C’mon guys,stay whelmed.It’s not really that bad”,Dick said and everyone,even Bart looked at him.

“Okay,I’ll shut up now”,Dick said sheepishly.

The sound of jingly caught everyone’s attention and--

“Jason!Are you insane?!”,Dick said ,grabbing him.Immediately,Jason’s lockpick hit the ground,outside the cell.

“Fuck!I almost had us out ,Dick!”,Jason snapped.

“We can NOT do that! That’s against the law!And how did you get that in here?”,Dick said.

“Same way I got in with these cigarettes--and by the way…our whole set up os against the law.Why the hell do you think we keep your identities secret?”Roy said.

“Exactly! I have been arguing the point with him for years.Thank you Roy,you’re a hero”,Jason said.

“Just doing my part”,Roy said dramatically.

“Yeah,and it’s really smart to just go saying this shit out loud,right?”,Tim said.

Jason slammed the bars in anger ,stormed off and came back.

“Let us the fuck out!”,he called.

“Hey! Shut the hell up,or you’ll get their attention and make them actually charge us!”,Conner said.

“You shut the hell up !’Jason said.

“What ?” ,Conner said,approaching dangerously.

“Jason, no!”,Dick said,grabbing Jason and holding him back.

“No fuck that! Jason YES”,Jason said,shrugging him off.

“I can;t dothis-I-can’t-do-this---You guys are the worst!I ran across the border and back with Guy Gardner and didn’t even get arrested for that shit! “,Jaime said.

“Wait--you’re here illegally?”,Tim said.

“Oh,dude,he’s  gonna get deported!This is your fault ,Wally!Jaime’s getting put on a bus because of you!”,Jason said.

“It’s okay--I think we could get Bruce to sign some papers and maybe help your folks get better jobs instead of being overworked and underpaid and “

“Okay first of all,you don’t fucking know me like that ,cabron!”,Second ,you say another thing ‘bout mi familia,I’ll --”

“Just chill out Jaime!He didn’t mean it,right Tim?”,Wally said ,grabbing Jaime.

“I don’t know what I--”,Tim started but Dick elbowed him hard.

“I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions about your background”,Tim said.

“Yeah,let it go,he’s not racist,just stupid”,Roy called.

“You see that!That right there,is why me and Roy,do NOT get along”,Tim said.

“He’s right…we have more pressing matters here ….okay,that was pretty bad…We’ll deal with little Timmy’s racism AFTER we get outta jail which we almost did,no thanks to you,Dick
,Jason said.

“Look,I’m not-”

“Denying it just makes it worse.Take my advice on this”,Jason whispered. Tim sighed,sagged his shoulders and delt with Jaime giving him the evil eye.

It was then that they group saw a guard walking down the hall.

“You're free to go…it was all a misunderstanding “,the guard said.

All them were relieved,and made their way out of the cell--Jaime carrying Bart on his back.

“Can somebody explain why none of you muscle heads is carrying him instead of me?”,Jaime said.

“C’mon, hermano you can worry bout that later--give it to Wally,it’s his cousin,his responsibility”,Jason said.

“Oh c’mon,he’s drooling again.All this from lean?What else did he have?”,Wally said,but accepted the burden.

“So…nobody’s concerned about the fact that we totally just waltzed out of here,after everything that happened?”,Conner said flatly.

“Stop thinking about it,enjoy it.Totally knew that everything was going to work out”,Wally said.

“Maybe,maybe…but at what cost?”,Dick said.

“See ?You;rethinking again…you’re thinking when we should be celebrating,like this”,Jason said, walking up to a park bench.He hopped up on it and screamed at the top of his lungs

“Freedom,BITCHES!WOO!”,before dropping down next to Tim.

“Was that at all necessary?”,Tim said,annoyed.

“If you knew how much coke I did tonight,you’d understand”,Jason said.

“Right…”,Tim said.

“Hey,look on the bright side...at least Batman doesn’t know about this”,Dick said.Suddenly ,his cell phone rang with a restricted number.

“Who the hell--damnit,don’t answer that Dick!”,Wally said,but it was too late.

“Is it Batman?Or Bruce?!That kinda determines our punishment”,Wally demanded.

“Neither.It’s  Kaldur”,Dick said and they all sighed in relief.

“And he said Barry got us out,and he’s looking for us and if we’re not at base in fifteen minutes--He's telling Batman and Batman’s gonna kill us”,Dick said.

“Yeah,well it was nice knowing you guys”,Wally said and literally zipped off with Bart.

“Dude!Fucking traitor!”,Jason said.

“Well,not my problem…I’m not a side kick.Catch you guys later”,Roy said and walked off.

Jaime was activated his armor and immediately flew off.

“What the hell?!”,Jason said in shock.

“Sorry,cant carry you guys,too big and Khaji Da hates you,Tim”,Jaime called from the sky and was gone.

"Well,looks like we're all fucked,then",Dick said.

"Shut up,Dick",Tim answered.

“I can get the Supercycle,,but I’m kinda high so it’s gonna be auto pilot --is that okay?”.,Conner said.

“Yeah…I’ll just find a babe to crash with--Bye”,Jason said,and marched off into the night.

“Can you not kill us?”,Tim asked.

“No promises,but I’ll try my best”,Conner said.

Dick’s phone went off again and this time the text said:

Kaldur:10 minutes.

“I’ll risk it”,Dick said.

Notes:

Gonna do a version with the girls eventually...and I'll show what happened at said party--by the way ,in Blue Beetle 2006 ,Green Lantern Guy Gardner an Jaime flew from El Paso to mexico for beer so it would be legal for 18 yr old Jaime to drink.