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Trinity assumed she would be alone.
With Robby heading off on his… sabbatical, Trinity assumed he wouldn’t be hogging the roof for once. And since Huckleberry was watching Robby’s house for him… well, there was no one waiting up for Trinity. So instead of heading home to her cold, dark, lonely apartment, Trinity took a detour to the roof. She truly thought no one else would be up there.
She thought wrong.
Pushing through the door, Trinity was greeted with the sight of the backside of Dr. Al-Hashimi.
The Attending was standing in front of the safety bars, her gaze on the city. Her lululemon grey jacket was on, her hands in her pockets. Her curls, which had started out so neat at the beginning of the day, had started to frizz.
Trinity paused, considering turning back around. She could just make her way back down the stairs. Leave out the door, and head back home to her apartment. It couldn’t be that bad. Right? Pretend that she had never seen the Attending. She turned around to do just that when-
“You can never enter anywhere quietly can you?”
Trinity tried to relax her shoulders. She was in control. She had control. An easy smirk made it’s way onto her face. Even when exhausted. Even when hurt, and tired and injured. It didn’t matter. It slipped on just as easily as it ever did.
“Sorry, I didn’t know the AC vents needed peace and quiet to function.”
Trinity heard just a slight chuckle. Dr. Al-Hashimi turned her neck to look back at her.
Oh.
In the bright lights of the ED, with the noises of the machine and the sounds of people dying, Trinity didn’t really have the time to take in Dr. Al-Hashimi’s eyes. But now… now that was all she could see. Under the night sky, her dark brown eyes almost looked like dark pools that Trinity could almost fall into. Trinity wondered what they would look like in the sunlight. If they would keep their dark tone, or turn into an amber hue. Would there be specks of color? Of greens? Of golds?
Trinity mentally shook herself of such a thought. She had spent all shift trying not to completely fall on her face in front of this woman… not that she was doing a good job.
Trinity should wish Dr. Al-Hashimi a good night. She really should go home. She should get drunk and ass out as the sounds of fireworks rung off in the distance. Instead she slowly walked closer to the attending.
“Don’t think you’re setting a very good example, standing in front of the safety bar,” Trinity said. She leaned on the bar. “Especially for an Emergency Department Attending.”
Trinity didn’t know where this confidence had appeared from. Maybe it was the results of twelve hours of misery. Maybe it was the stupid roof’s stupid air. Maybe it was the way Dr. Al-Hashimi actually smiled at her. An actual smile. Not one of those gritted-teeth-I-hate-Robby-and-his-savior-complex smiles. A genuine one. Where the skin around her eyes crinkled and you could see her laugh lines.
“Perhaps you make a good point,” Dr. Al-Hashimi said, leaning against the safety bar. “You should be heading home Santos.”
“I am… eventually,” Trinity said, turning to look at the night sky. “Thought I’d get some fresh air first.”
“You can open your car windows, get all the fresh air you want on the way home,” Dr. Al-Hashimi said.
And for some reason, that stung. Trinity could feel her control slip, if only for a moment before it snapped right back into place.
“Geez could just told me you wanted to be alone,” Trinity said, trying and failing to make her voice light.
“Trinity.”
Trinity froze. Oh, she really liked the way she said her name. Soft and warm and gentle. When was the last time Trinity had heard her name said like that? By someone other then Whitaker? Not for awhile. She turned her head and could feel the last bits of the mask crumble through her fingers.
Dr. Al-Hashimi just gave her a small smile and motioned with her head for Trinity to come back over. “That wasn’t what I meant.”
Trinity walked closer, taking her spot once again against the safety bar.
“Why are you up here? Actually?” Dr. Al-Hashimi asked. Those eyes again. Those doe eyes that were gentle yet sharp. They seemed to pierce right through Trinity's smirk into her soul instead.
“To stare into the void. To let the thoughts consume me for a second. To prove to myself that I’m stronger now. That my moment earlier was just a moment of weakness… it doesn’t make me who I am.”
“I told you… air,” Trinity said.
Dr. Al-Hashimi hummed in a way that informed Trinity that she didn’t believe her at all. But she didn’t press and Trinity deeply appreciated her for that.
“Uh… what are you doing up here?” Trinity asked.
“Thinking.”
“About?”
“Today.”
Trinity hummed. She replayed her first day in the Pitt over and over in her head all the time. Pittfest. The bodies rolling in. Langdon yelling in her face, spit flying. That was the day she met Whittaker. Her best friend. Her roommate. Former roommate now… she didn’t want to think about that. Trinity closed her eyes. She was in control.
Silence fell over them. Comfortable silence that fell over Trinity’s shoulders like a warm blanket straight out of the dryer. She could press… but Dr. Al-Hashimi hadn’t done that to her. It wouldn’t be right.
“Any plans?” Dr. Al-Hashimi asked, breaking the silence.
Trinity’s thoughts darted to Garcia and her easy dismissal of their plans like it was nothing to her. As if Trinity hadn’t been excited for it for weeks. As if Trinity wasn’t hoping to talk to her. Really talk to her. But today… well Garcia had made it quite clear where they stood.
“No, no plans,” Trinity said, glancing over. “You? Husband? Kids?”
Dr. Al-Hashimi chuckled. “My ex has my son for the night. Actually taking him to see some fireworks. I’m afraid the only thing waiting for me is a couple of bottles of white wine to empty.”
“Need someone to help you with that?”
What-
STUPID
STUPID
Trinity “speaks before she thinks” Santos
Of all the stupid things that could have come out of her mouth...
“As much as I would like that… I don’t think that’s appropriate. Getting drunk with a 2R as temporary head of the department.”
Santos felt a pang of disappointment.
“Rain check?” The attending asked.
And Santos didn’t know if it was her own delusion, but she thought she heard a note of hope in there.
Santos nodded, not trusting herself to speak as Baran Al-Hashimi ducked back under the safety bar.
“And Trinity?”
“Yeah?”
“I really would like if you took me up on that.”
Her tone was genuine and honest. Santos found a smile worming it’s way onto her face.
Dr. Al-Hashimi wanted to get wine drunk with her.
Dr. Al-Hashimi wanted to spend time with her outside of the Pitt.
“Have a good evening Santos,” Dr. Al-Hashimi said with a nod, her professional demeanor returning.
Trinity watched as the woman walked toward the door, her curls bouncing as she strode across the roof.
She looked back when she reached the door.
“Happy 4th of July Trinity.”
And the woman disappeared down the stairs.