Chapter Text
It's been a day since everything.
Avery hasn’t been able to sleep.
He still has the image of D3rlord3 in his mind. How his minecraft character looked, every word they said to him. Every time Derek helped him out, every time Derek snapped him out of it, every time that Derek typed in that tone he’s never felt before— almost as if he wanted Avery to understand it. If only Avery didn’t fall for that trick, Him and Derek would’ve still been together in one way or another.
But Avery failed to save another person.
Avery has seen people die before. He hasn’t been able to save a single one of them. He couldn’t save his siblings, who cared for him so much till they decided to do something that Avery advised them against. He couldn’t save his own mother from that grief that took her life. He couldn’t save his friends, who were going through their own problems, who Avery took the time taking care for, who still died by their own hands. Each and every one could’ve been preventable, but he didn’t try hard enough.
And now the same thing happened again.
The only person left that cared for him, who saved him, who treated him as a person when Avery didn’t feel like one at all—
Gone.
There was nothing Avery could do but curl up in his bed, watching the night envelop the sky. It was January 1st, more so the end of it, but everything that happened on that Eve was too much for him. Even if he didn’t see that god, everything was overwhelming.
So he thought back to the time where all he did was dissociate.
Planting flowers at those graves, collecting water from the well only to refill it again, walking back and staring at the book, mindlessly going into water,
Avery had dissociated before, he’s also depersonalized before. Many times. It was one of his best escapes of the world, the only thing he had in every situation was to forget and disconnect from it. He didn’t remember a thing about the people who he cared for dying, he only knows that they died. The years during those deaths are all blurred to him; He doesn’t remember a single thing. So, why change that pattern now? All Avery could do now is just…
Stare.
Stare at the ceiling above his bed, on his tear stained pillow, on the blankets he gathered in his room full of stuff he threw around and smashed out of anger of not being able to save Derek, wallowing in his grief just to forget about it all.
But for some reason, Derek never left Avery’s mind.
Derek still existed to Avery.
He still remembers his name, the letter he left and the recording he made (although Derek's was confiscated by some… people? He still had the letter) were still completely intact, and Avery remembers every single aspect about D3rlord3 that he learnt. About Derek.
No matter how far off Avery felt from reality, no matter how blurry everything felt and was around him, every memory of Derek stood there. Intact. Never losing pieces of itself, never becoming blurry, never becoming surreal or dreamlike.
It was almost worse than forgetting about it.
Almost as if the Universe was torturing Avery with the fact he couldn’t save him.
Maybe the Universe was right.
Maybe, whatever message the Universe was telling Avery with this, just maybe it's right.
Maybe Avery is useless.
Maybe Avery should follow along with everyone else he knew.
He’s just as cursed as everyone, who would care? His friends surely don't, because they didn’t send a single text when he didn’t show up to the New Year's party. Not a single person did.
Who cared about Avery anyways? He’d ask himself, staring at the ceiling as everything around him seemed to fade out of existence, as everything got more and more blurry until—
Ding!
A notification from his phone. It was charging on the bedside table, devoid of everything (since most of it was thrown on the floor) but itself and the charger. Avery thought he’d turned off notifications, but that was living proof he didn’t. It was probably another App notification, reminding him to “Drink Water!” Or whatever. Avery didn’t care. Avery just wanted to… not exist in a sense.
Ding!
But that stupid notification sound was going to be a constant reminder that Avery does indeed exist, that this is all reality and not some stupid block game that went downhill—
Ding!
But who cared? Who really cared for Avery THIS much that they’d text him literally after all the fun of new years was dwindling—
Ding!
Avery grabbed his phone, basically pulling the charger out of its port with how much force he used, knocking it onto the floor along with his Lamp and some college work he doesn’t care about, Entering his passkey like 10 times out of rage, before looking at the messages he kept on getting. Unknown number, no name, no anythi—
Avery
Avery are you there
Avery its me d3rlord
please tell me your still here and im not too late
… No.
Avery couldn’t type a single thing. The read notification probably popped up on Derek’s side, but Avery just… stared. Blankly.
It has to be a scammer, right? It can’t possibly be anything other than that. Derek is gone, right? Too many thoughts were going through his head that he didn’t realize the other started typing again.
Avery
I know your reading this
Its ok avery
Im here
Remember when I accidentally broke the floor under you when you began to read that book?
or
Yknow
…when i pushed you off the edge.
It has to be him.
Avery is gullible, so even this small amount of evidence gave him SOMETHING, even if that hope was going to be broken anyways.
Who even cared if this was the Real Derek? Avery just wanted to read his sweet words again, he wanted to read every sweetness that he gave him over and over again.
I don’t know what happened
I’m not supposed to be here
Please come over
I can explain it to you face to face.
Avery immediately put down the phone, grabbing anything that looked like his Minecraft avatar (just in case!), wiping the stream of tears that was going down his face as he tied his hair up and grabbed his phone again. The other people already sent their address, and Avery wanted to go right away— basically flying out the door, still wiping his tears. Who cares if this was some scam? Who cares if he died? Even if there was a small chance this was D3rlord— no, Derek. If there was even that small chance it was Derek, Avery wants to take it. Even if this results with Avery dead, Avery wants to take it.
Just to see Derek Again.
Bus pass in hand, typing on his phone with no idea what he’s saying,
Just to see Derek Again.