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Tadashi liked to take pride in how he wasn't the extremely jealous type. He believed that just the right amount of jealousy was necesary in any relationship but being jealous to the point of being overly possesive was unhealthy. He doesn't get jealous whenever girls would come up to him and ask where Tsukishima-kun was because they wanted to talk to him about something. That something was, 99% of the time, their feelings towards his favorite blonde. Tadashi isn't fazed with giving them directions since he was 100% sure that they were always unrequited anyway. He knows this because his own feelings toward Tsukki were 110% requited. The extra 10% being a reassurance that Tsukki, his Tsukki, only had eyes for him and will not be going anywhere. But, even if he didn't feel jealous, he still felt a little guilty given the circumstances.
He and Tsukki decided early on that their relationship would be kept hush-hush. Not necessarily a secret because he wouldn't deny it if anyone asked (Tsukki said he wouldn't either) but so far no one has bothered to inquire and it doesn't seem as if anyone would in the near future. However, seeing those girls off knowing that they'll get rejected was a bit heartless on his part, and on Tsukki to a certain extent since he doesn't really hold back on the rejecting bit. But Tadashi knows it is how it is. He likes to compensate by going to the shrine every Saturday and praying for those girls to find their perfect match eventually. It helps him sleep at night.
In retrospect, there weren't really many reasons that could make Tadashi jealous over Tsukki. He knows for a fact- and Tsukki himself particularly liked to prove it with kisses and the occasional hickey- that his boyfriend loves him very much and would actually roll his eyes before Tadashi could even finish the thought. Jealousy was not an emotion to be entertained at all. Period. Tsukki would argue that it was absurd and you're overthinking, Tadashi. Tsukki reserved calling Tadashi by his first name when he thinks the situation is a very very important matter and should not be taken lightly. These situations usually end in cuddles and with kisses that were short but sweet. Tadashi liked them very very much.
Still, he could not ignore the concept of jealousy that had taken root in his mind at this point in time. He really wasn't the extremely jealous type even before he and Tsukki became official. Sure, he liked to think that they belonged to each other but that didn't mean that he owned Tsukki and vice versa. There was a difference. He could even say that he was proud of Tsukki for having friends besides him and the rest of the team because he really was proud. Tsukki wasn't the easiest person to get along with and it didn't help that Tsukki himself usually didn't really care enough to try. But he did and Tadashi couldn't have been happier for him. (It could be said that Tadashi actually kind of helped but he didn't specifically tell Tsukki to go approach other people. He did that on his own.) Despite that, Tadashi could no longer deny the sudden pang of hollowness that he felt every time Tsukki's phone would buzz to signal a new message.
Tadashi tried his best to calm the growing pit in his heart as Tsukki reached for said phone and read the said message. He turned his attention to the English homework in front of him so he didn't have to see Tsukki smile that small smile that used to be only for him but apparently he was now also giving to whomever was at the other end of the private conversation. He pretended not to hear the chuckle- an actual chuckle!- that came after the smile and Tsukki quickly typing in his reply and hitting send. Tsukki set his phone down again and Tadashi shot daggers at it. It personally offended him now and he imagined it exploding into smithereens over and over again.
"Are you okay, Yamaguchi? You look like you want to commit a murder."
Tadashi blinked and felt the heat rise to the tips of his ears. He shook his head before grabbing his pencil and doing his best to focus on his homework. "I'm fine. It's nothing, Tsukki."
"You sure? If that was nothing, I can't imagine what your face would look like if you actually did have something on your mind."
"I said I'm fine." That came out harsher than Tadashi had intended it to be but he didn't bother to look up to see how Tsukki reacted. He was far too busy trying to calm himself down at the sudden realization he thought he'd never have to think about.
"Okay then. Suit yourself." It was at that moment that Tsukki's phone buzzed again and Tadashi thought he was going to lose it.
It was just a text. He shouldn't be feeling like this. But the tiny voice in his head wanted to push him. A text had to come from someone. Tsukki recieves texts from people all the time. But he doesn't react that way to texts from other people. He doesn't even reply that quickly to his own brother! What reaction is he giving these texts, Tadashi? What type of relationship do you have to have to give that type of reaction, Tadashi? Weren't you like that too? Aren't you like this too?
Tadashi stood up so quickly that he almost toppled the small table over in the process. Tsukishima was looking at him slightly alarmed and with an eyebrow up. Tadashi looked anywhere but at the boy in front of him and flinched when said boy reached his hand out for him.
"Tadashi-"
"I'M GOING TO THE BATHROOM!" he shouted so loudly he knew for sure that the entire neighborhood probably heard him. Still not looking at Tsukki, Tadashi headed straight for the door and was out of the bedroom before the other boy could react. Tadashi practically ran to the bathroom. Once he had locked himself inside, he let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He looked at the mirror before turning on the faucet and splashing his face with cold water.
"Get it together, Tadashi. You're better than this!" he hissed at himself.
He glanced at his reflection on the mirror and centered in on the water droplets that were dripping from his face. He was overreacting. He always said that a little jealousy never hurt anybody as long as it came in reasonable amounts. This was reasonable right? The sudden rush of emotions that hit him like a tsunami every time he heard or saw that phone buzz was reasonable. The way his chest would bleed as if he were being stabbed multiple times knowing that Tsukki had someone else besides him who he texts on a daily basis was reasonable. The way he wanted to shout at whoever it was at the end of line to stop making Tsukki, his Tsukki, smile like that because that smile should only be for him and him alone was reasonable. He was jealous. There he said it. He, Yamaguchi Tadashi, was jealous. He didn't die. The world didn't end. It was fine. Everything was fine.
"You're just jealous, Tadashi," he told the boy in the mirror. "There's no use getting an existential crisis just because you're jealous."
"Tadashi, are you okay?"
Tadashi yelped in response and hit his hand on the sink. "Shit!"
"Tadashi? What's wrong?"
"N-nothing, Tsukki! It's fine. I'm fine." Tadashi called out to the door, clutching his hand as it writhed in pain. The shadow below the door didn't budge and Tadashi knew that Tsukki would be waiting for him until he got out. How long had he been there anyway? Did he hear him say anything?
Stupid reflexes. Stupid sink. His hand was going red while the pain was gradually going away. Tadashi glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He looked silly with his hand positioned that way and his face slightly damp from when he splashed water on it. Okay, he looked blatantly idiotic losing it over some text. A text that came from someone who made Tsukki smile like that, sure, but it didn't have to mean anything. There were many instances when he himself had looked like that and Hinata had assumed he was talking to "his sweetheart", as the other boy put it, when he was really just looking at a gif of a cat.
What was he so worried about anyway? Tsukki reminded him everyday that he loved him and only him. It wasn't even an exaggeration. He literally tells Tadashi "I love you" every single day at the most random of times. Tadashi didn't even realize that he fell in love with the biggest sap in the world until it was too late. Although, Tsukki did his best not to show it to anyone else. Frankly, Tadashi shouldn't be jealous at whoever Tsukki was texting. In fact, he should be celebrating that there was someone else in this world that got Tsukki's sense of humor. If he wasn't here, he would honestly worry about what might happen to his salt master supreme. His salt needed pepper.
Tadashi smiled at that thought. His hand didn't hurt as much anymore though it was still pretty red. He dried his face with a towel before nodding to himself. He reached for the door and opened it to reveal Tsukki on the other side leaning against the door frame. The taller boy had a pout on his face and his hands in his pockets. Tadashi felt his heart melt into a puddle. He reached for Tsukki's face, cupping it with both hands, before stepping on his toes to kiss Tsukki once on his forehead, then his nose, and lastly on his lips. Tsukki wrapped his arms around Tadashi's waist pulling him closer and deepening the kiss. Tadashi draped his arms around Tsukki's shoulders before pulling away and resting his forehead and against Tsukki's forehead. Tadashi closed his eyes and listened to his and Tsukki's breathing.
"I'm sorry for worrying you," Tadashi whispered.
"I love you and only you."
"I know."
"You don't have to be jealous. It's just Bokuto-san and Kuroo-san."
"Both of them?" Tadashi cocked his head to the side staring into golden irises that pierced through his entire being.
"Group text. Kuroo-san started it. They basically talk about random crap and sometimes it's funny. Bokuto-san likes to talk about Akaashi-san a LOT. Kuroo-san sometimes messages me about Kenma-san but only to ask for advice."
"Advice...?"
"Yeah, I know. Just because I told him I was going out with you, he thinks I'm an expert in all... this."
Tadashi was a bit taken aback. He didn't know that Tsukki had told someone else about them. Much less the captain of Nekoma. If anything, he thought he would be the first one out of the both of them who had to tell someone about their relationship.
Tsukki continued. "He seems satisfied with what I have to say though so I guess I'm at least doing something right."
Tsukki proceeded to look straight at him right then and there. Tadashi's heart beat stopped before beating fast and steady ba-dump, ba-dump. It echoud loudly in his ears; he had to wonder if Tsukki could hear it too.
"I am doing alright, right?"
It was one of those rare instances that Tsukki showed Tadashi how vulnerable he could be. It made his heart beat out of his chest and the butterflies in his stomach to go crazy. Here he was, with the boy he loved who loved him back. The boy who gave him all he had and didn't expect much in return. The boy who preferred to keep his emotions to himself but didnt hold back when it came to the one he adored. The boy who would fight anyone who would dare to hurt the love of his life. The boy who had once pushed everyone else away because he didn't think that he could trust someone as much as he trusts him now. The boy who loved him and only him and always told him so.
Tadashi felt foolish for even thinking that he had any reason to doubt the boy in front of him because this boy would never doubt him. Jealousy was healthy in a relationship so long as it wasn't obsessive. But Tadashi had no reason to feel jealous since he knew that Tsukishima Kei, all snark and wit compacted in a 190cm tall body, would never give him one. Tsukishima Kei loves Yamaguchi Tadashi and Yamaguchi Tadashi loves Tsukishima Kei very much. It was pretty romantic now that he thought about it.
"You're doing great, Tsukki."