Chapter Text
Alice Thymefield felt like she teleported after class ended and didn’t know if that was weird. She wouldn’t be able to recall if pressed any of the milestones between Celestia School for Girls to the front door of Mystic Wares. Two train rides on the subway, a small amount of walking, the cable car then another small trek through Failume Heights. She didn’t even remember passing by her own apartment and that stood out to her as particularly strange. Ever since that encounter with a certain someone’s fuzzy sidekick, glow in the dark paint and a night’s sleep lost, she always used to at least cast a glance at that window as she passed by. The portal through which Alice’s life changed forever.
It was a good thing, she concluded. It was a sign her neuroticism's were subsiding. It wasn’t lost on her that the times she spent acknowledging those milestones in her commute were spent scrutinizing her surroundings obsessively, almost scoring them in her mind based on their aesthetic symmetry. She hated Failume Bay at first and it made all the sense in the world to her why she would. Setting aside having to be there at the time was humiliating as a proud Thymefield as it was the backdrop of her shame. Being made into a showpony under duress, no better than a doll, a puppet, a bobblehead that had to nod when she wanted to shake her head.
Nothing made sense to her here, nothing followed a logical order. It was as loud to her eyes as it was on her ears, nothing placed where it should be, countless stores peddling their wares in one's face, twisty paths like a maze for tourists, nothing here would balm her compulsion for structure. 'Structure is the foundation of composure. A lady should be composed, always.' And yet despite it all she was still here. She had long since ran out of excuses to rationalise it, in fact. It had almost been a year since she set foot in Failume Bay as a representative member of the Thymefield family and after the first two weeks she had no obligation to stay, yet it became like a second home and not once had she felt like she overstayed her welcome.
“I’m only here for the summer!”
“I’m only here because N.E.D.F. 's occupation is troubling me!.”
“I’m only here so Failume Heights has all the protection from sacrifices it can get!”
“I’m only here to support my good friends after what happened to them in the Hollow!”
So many answers to questions her friends never asked. They never needed a reason for Alice to be here. Her friends. Real friends. They never wanted justification, they wanted her here. Especially the friend who Alice felt like she needed to justify presence around the most, as if her judgement mattered most. As if the proud heiress was unworthy to be around her. In truth, Alice really, really cared what she thought about her, though she could never put her finger on why.
The truth is she begged her grandfather to let her stay in Failume Bay, indefinitely, in that dinky little apartment. That tiny, but comfy little shoebox that was objectively beneath her and yet so perfect not because it was close to home, because it wasn’t. Not because it was close to her school either, because it couldn’t be farther. It was because it was close to her new family, the first real friends she’d ever made. It was close to her. She wanted to be closer to her. Alice Thymefield didn’t know if that was weird or not.
She leaned to the left, balancing on one foot with the practised ease of a fencer, scrutinizing herself in the reflection of Mystic Ware’s window, making careful effort to not make eye contact with herself. A stray lock of hair fell over her blunt bangs, she fussed with it. She’d move it, it would stray again, askew, off-centre. She’d try to comb it into the rest of her bangs, it would stick right back out. Her cheeks blew out, she frantically tried to make the offending stray fall into place. She began to tip off balance, teetering as she dragged her tongue up her palm to try to stick it down in unladylike desperation and finally it seemed to conform. Before she could celebrate, her eyes gravitated to the creeped-out gaze of a creature in the window, cast in shadow by his cap. It chittered behind the glass, tilting its fuzzy little head and the flat, brimmed cap on its head that seemed to list independently to one side with him. Alice shrieked.
Her arms flailed wildly as balance irrevocably left her and she hopelessly succumbed to her fate, tucking in her arms, knitting her chin to her neck, bracing. This was the end. How humiliating, to die in front of Ukinami Yuzuha’s front door, bested by unruly bangs, maybe Yuzuha would laugh herself so silly she’d die too just so she can mock Alice for eternity. Oh yes, she’d absolutely love that.
Death never came. Instead, she felt her shoulder boof into knitted clothing. A warm hand radiated heat through Alice’s shirt over her bicep as it clutched her, a little ‘oof’ made Alice’s ear prick up, scanning like a radar for the source, followed by a second shy ear. A sunset orange eye peeked, joined soon by sunny gold. She wasn’t on the ground, thank goodness, instead she was... Forty-five degrees? Maybe closer to thirty. Her nose caught up with her before her eyes did, catching a scent she knew well. Her scent.
“Woooah there, little bunny! What was that?!” Only Ukinami Yuzuha could summon up concern amidst bubbly giggles. It made Alice’s cheeks bloom pink with heat.
“It was K-Kama! Kama startled me, that’s all!” She retorted, tearing her eyes away, she absolutely could not handle seeing the smug in those acid green eyes. She shifted her weight and pulled herself out of Yuzuha’s grasp, her heart was racing and there’d be no living with the fuzzy one's partner if she correctly thought she was responsible for that. Alice really would die then.
“Ohhh? Is that true, little buddy?”
She crouched to address the capped tanuki that had managed to push open the door to check on Alice. Kama’s expressions were always quite unreadable, but his body language spoke volumes to make up for it. He stood on twos the whole time as he scanned Alice for damage, then dropped back to fours under Yuzuha’s expectant gaze. Her arms folded over her knees, attempting to come off as authoritative as she could while crouching. He chittered, explaining his side of the story with the aid of little gesticulations from his paws and Yuzuha nodded along in turn, closing her eyes to sell the impression she was listening could understand a thing Kama was saying. Hearing enough she straightened up, arms still folded, putting on her best Shifu impression with a sagely hum as she came to her conclusion.
“You were dancing in front of the door and you fell.”
“I was not dancing!” Alice insisted with a little stomp from her foot. “Besides, how do you even know what Kama said?! You don’t speak tanuki!!" She felt childish. Yuzuha giggled.
“Oh- I didn't have to. I watched it all happen for myself.”
Now she felt really childish. Her face felt so hot like she could boil carrots on them. She blew them out.
“I was not dancing. I had a hair out of place. I was trying to see my reflection. That’s all!”
“Uh huuuh.” Yuzuha began to invade her space, forcing Alice to make eye contact, forcing her to see the smug, the tease. Yuzuha never mocked her, it was simply the language of the “prank witch”, the more she liked someone, the more she’d tease them because she loved their reactions.
By all logical reason, she should hate Ukinami Yuzuha. She embodied everything that Alice thought she despised. Zero life-structure, aloof with minimal responsibilities, often blowing off classes and loafing about. She had zero respect for boundaries or personal space too and aesthetically she came so close to perfect symmetry. Her eyes, her face her hair, but then she'd make choices about her looks that just made her want to scream sometimes. One sock worn high, the other sagging, that thigh band, the little kitschy decorations on the harness that Kama rode around in, little imperfections here and there that seemed designed to test Alice’s patience.
And then there was her relentless teasing! It frequently pushed Alice so far out of her comfort zone sometimes and she seemed to derive joy out of breaking her composure. She made no effort to hide how much she loved Alice’s reactions and she wanted to get as close up as possible to see each one, and then she'd tease her about each irritating one!
She had shut her eyes, cheeks blown out in a pout, arms knit in a fight fold in front of her chest. She tried to turn her head away from the red head, but inspiration suddenly struck Alice. Her pursed lips split into a little smile of her own. She opened a pumpkin orange eye.
“Hold on, were you watching me, Yuzuha?” Alice prodded, coolly, as if gauging her opponent in a fencing match.
“Huh? I mean sure, how could I not? you were all over the place!” Strong argument accompanied by a large sprawling gesture with her arms, answering Alice’s riposte with a decent parry, but Alice had practise in scrutinizing the details. She didn’t miss Yuzuha’s awkwardly shifting eyes or the pinkish tint in her cheeks. She could sneak that past anyone else but not Alice.
“But don't you have a shift today? It’s Thursday right? That's one of your days.” Alice turned to look at Yuzuha, fixing her gaze with newfound confidence, redirecting the red-head’s proverbial foil away. Quickly she deflected another parry with a twist of her own blade and forged an opening. “If I didn’t know any better, Ms. Ukinami, I’d think you dumped off your shift on Kaede again so you could follow me from the cable car.”
Yuzuha’s neck visibly worked down a gulp. She had her. A decisive strike earning an imaginary point to Thymefield.
Yuzuha began to recover, it could never be said that Yuzuha couldn't think quickly on her feet Alice knew first hand she was a quick study, a quicker whit and especially adapt at adapting. Her lips split into a smirk.
“Oh, but my lady, can you honestly blame me? You’re sooooo fun to watch! It’s like you’re always on guard, I’m just imagining all the ways I can jump out and scare you the whole time!”
Nnh… Point to Ukinami… And yet… It didn’t make sense. Yuzuha pre-emptively started to celebrate her successful retort with her hands on her hips and her nose held high with a frustratingly wide smile, but there was still the question…
“So… Why didn’t you?”
“Huh?”
Alice never meant to give the question such weight, but it was like a bomb went off between them and it stunned her. By the looks of it she took down Yuzuha with her. Yuzuha brought her gaze down past her lifted nose, bringing her head back down from the clouds, so uncharacteristically slow it was painful to watch. Her pupils had receded into pin pricks and , Alice’s keen eyes could see miniature, barely perceptible movement in those green eyes. It was like she was desperately searching for an answer, whilst not daring to break eye contact. Was that such a hard question?
“Why didn’t you scare me, Yuzuha?" Alice clarified, as if that was the confusing part. "Why were you watching me- No, why were you following me around if not just to prank me? All that planning, but whatever for?”
Alice felt panic grip her, but why? There was no reason, or at least she didn't have one. Questions started to pummel her from within and doubt made her want to spiral. The mood changed so quickly, it was just banter wasn't it? But now it was as if she yanked open a door. A door with a sign that read “DO NOT OPEN” in big bold letters that she just ignored. A door she didn’t even know existed until now. She didn’t know why it existed. A door that scared her more than any scary story she’d ever read on Spook Shack, scarier than any tall tale Yuzuha could spin, scarier than any hollow she’d ever raided for the proxies.
There were only two things that scared Alice more than this moment.
“I just… Couldn’t think of a way that would be really satisfying, that’s all.” Yuzuha finally broke the silence. Alice’s ears pricked up and became present in the moment again, as if she had forgotten where they even were. Still standing in front of Mystic Wares with Kama darting his head back and forth between the girls like he was watching a particularly high-stakes tennis game.
“R-Right… Well, I suppose you have sort of exhausted all your usual tricks on me.” Alice relented with light sarcasm, eager to take whatever out she could from the awkward tension. Yet she couldn't stop herself from resting her hand atop her breast to smother her heart's hellish pace.
“I guess I’m losing my touch!" Yuzuha giggled again, it felt subdued. Forced. "Sorry about that, Princess.” Yuzuha brought a hand to the back of her head in an oh-so exaggerated effort to seem cartoonishly awkward but aloof. Always trying to mask what’s going on in that head of hers, yet it was obvious she was grateful for that out. “Scary thought, huh~?”
Yeah.
It certainly was.
It was obvious to Alice that neither of them were satisfied with this outcome but she was clueless why Yuzuha wasn’t. That girl was old hat at burying her feelings as deep as they’d go, rarely if ever showing any kind of vulnerability and Alice almost resented her for that as someone who wore their emotions quite literally as clothing. Alice hadn’t even thought about the many- many faces her belt buckle mood matrix must have broadcasted, mirroring her inner turmoil for the world and more importantly Yuzuha to see. Alice supposed she should be grateful Yuzuha was more interested in making eye contact than looking at her belt.
Yuzuha eventually started swinging her hips and fingering the hair that framed her face, twirling it. She often did that when she was thinking or spacing out, though Alice had a feeling she was doing the former. Her green eyes finally drifted away to the window of Mystic Wares and her voice came out, an uncomfortably quiet volume in contrast to her usual pep. “So, uh…” She cleared her throat, shielding her lips her second hand, then threw a thumb towards the door to the shop. “Want to come in?”
Alice didn't like that she actually had to think about it this time, but she nodded her head.
Kama took the cue and climbed up Yuzuha’s leg, whirling around her waist and up the harness on her back until he settled over her shoulder, peering forward at Alice with some concern. The little critter... Not even the tension could keep a tiny smile from pulling her lips while Yuzuha fed her fingers under his cap to scritch behind his ear. She was one of the very few people Kama would allow to touch him and that was one of the even fewer spots he allowed, earning a rapid little kick from his hind leg. She led Alice inside.
The walk up to her room even in the cramped living space above the shop felt like an eternity Alice knew it was because she couldn't see Yuzuha's face. Alice could only guess what expression the red-head was making now that she couldn’t see it. She imagined it was troubled, though she'd say melancholic if she could even imagine that on Yuzuha's face. It annoyed her that she didn't know what was troubling her friend, what was causing her imagined face to look that way. What annoyed her the most was that if Yuzuha had it her way, she’d never let Alice see it.
That question earlier should not have been so hard on either of them. She kept echoing it in her head. Her heart should not have been beating so hard, so fast. It had barely calmed since. Well, if Yuzuha was going to be secretive, Alice decided to take the opportunity to touch the interface buttons on her belt buckle and switch it off. When she raised her head she noticed Kama watching her. She gave him a pleading look and as unreadable as Kama was, there seemed to be an understanding between them that it was just not a good time for her to be questioned.
It’s not like Alice would have an answer for him anyway.
The tension didn’t ease when they were alone together in Yuzuha's room like Alice hoped it would and she began to scrutinize, defaulting to her usual behavior. As surprisingly clean as Yuzuha kept her room, it was still slobbish and disorderly by Alice’s high standards. Her bookshelves showcased an uneven and disorganized mishmash of books she probably never opened once if the layer of dust was anything to go by, occasionally punctuated by knick-knacks and souvenirs from the shop or who knows where. Her desk had a pile of untouched homework, seemingly abandoned beside a laptop, whose contents were distractingly bright and colourful, but definitely not homework.
Yuzuha collapsed onto her bed like a sack of carrots. It somewhat irked Alice to watch her stretch out her arms and legs, making the sounds one would expect from such an effort, then blissfully turn limp with a serene look on her face. She’d roll her eyes if she wasn’t annoyed with her in earnest. It was always such a performance with Yuzuha, trying to put on aloof airs to come off as more composed than was. Alice quietly joined her on the bed, keeping what distance she could between them as Yuzuha took up almost the entirety of the bed pretending to be a starfish. She pressed her skirt to the back of her thighs as she seated herself. Straight backed, eyes forward, legs knit together, hands lightly clutched over her lap. Like a proper lady.
“So!“ Yuzuha started her little show, rolling onto her side, a hand resting on her hip and her jaw resting on the palm of her second hand, supported by the elbow on the bed, contrasting Alice's straight formed posture. If Alice didn’t know Yuzuha was a professional at putting on a face, she’d almost call that forced smile convincing, though to her it was as convincing as whatever haughty 'high society' voice she affected to tease her. “I, Ukinami Yuzuha, am your humble servant, Lady Alice.~ And as your servant, how may I entertain you evening?” She inhaled a gasp, shielding her mouth with the fingers that once supported her head, that cheesy smile masked behind them. “A scary movie perhaps?”
Alice hated Yuzuha in that moment. She was wrecking herself from the inside, tearing herself apart from within, trying desperately to figure out what was creating this barrier between them and all Yuzuha wanted to do was mess around, pretending it wasn’t even there! Scary movies? Now? Really? Her knuckles blanched as her fingers tightened together on her lap.
“No, thank you. I’m not in the mood.”
Saying no never stopped Yuzuha from pushing her luck before. She'd find ways to convince and cajole her into trying things out of her depth. Sometimes it was the promise of a home cooked meal or she'd debase herself some silly dare like the time she promised she’d send a selfie to Manato, putting on a less than flattering face, but only if they watched one of her favorite movies together. It never seemed so daunting after that.
However, Alice must have declined in such a way that even Yuzuha knew she shouldn’t push it this time.
“Okaaay… Well- I got a game from the managers I think you’d really like!”
Alice was about to protest but she wasn't quick enough, Yuzuha had practically launched herself off the bed, robbing her of the chance. Even Kama, who had scurried to his own little bed when they arrived, seemed caught off guard by his partner. Alice looked sympathetic, but at least she knew now it wasn’t just her that knew something felt really off with Yuzuha.
She held up a cartridge for that gaming console she had plugged into the TV. Alice wasn’t very experienced with these games. Her family never introduced her to them and in fairness she never had much interest in them, at least before she met Yuzuha.
“See, it’s based on a super old video game from before the hollows!” Ah, now she was affecting the voice she put on when she was spinning one of her tales. Alice really wished she was in the mood. Her unimpressed eyes meet Yuzuha's gaze, who seemed unphased by them. “They had this really popular video game franchise, get this- The main character is a plumber.”
“Yuzuha.” Alice tried.
“Except in this game he’s dressed like a doctor! And it’s like what? Why is a plumber dressed up like a doctor?! So, he has to get rid of these little virus guys-”
“Yuzuha.” Alice tried again, firmer this time, losing her patience with the forced peppiness. She set aside the cartridge.
“So you have to throw these little capsules into a bottle- Oh! You remember that stacking block game we played on that Angels of Delusion fanpage it's like that-”
Alice had enough. She launched her hands out and caught Yuzuha’s arms. Kama darted up onto his paws in surprise, poised as he watched the Alice bring his partner forcefully onto the bed. It was a harmless but drastic manoeuvre that found Alice pinning Yuzuha by her wrists over her head, braids splayed out while blond twintails fell like a curtain around them. Their faces bore inches apart from each other. Alice could taste Yuzuha's breath, it made her insides flutter. She’d never forget the way Yuzuha looked up at her. She recognized it as fear, but not towards Alice. She didn't think so anyway. It was something she couldn’t put her finger on. It could never be simple. Why was it never simple?
“Stop it, Yuzuha! Stop performing for me! For once, just stop and tell me what’s going on. Please.”
The word seemed to spill out as if it wanted the company of a desperate sob. She watched Yuzuha’s oesophagus move along the hollow of her neck above her soft, exposed clavicles.
“I don’t- Alice...” She attempted a giggle. It was strained. How dare she? As if this was so absurd. It wasn’t! “Alice, I don’t know-”
“Don’t LIE to me!” Alice screamed. She didn't mean for it to come out a scream. It felt as if the entirety of Waifei Peninsula held it's breath but she disregarded it. “Don't lie, Yuzuha, not to me! Never to me!” Surely Alice deserved better than that.
“I’m not lying!" She dared to giggle at the supposed absurdity. "I don’t know what you're even getting at!”
Alice’s hands tightened, her ears knitting back flat against her skull, her teeth grit but she wasn’t the kind of thiren to bare them but she felt like she might if she was. She was angry, she was positively livid and it was driving her to ruin. How could Yuzuha act like this?
"Do I have to beg you, Yuzuha?! Have I not earned your trust?! Why can you never just tell me what you're feeling?! Do you even know?!"
“Alice…” Her name slipped out weakly, somewhere between a whisper and a gasp. Dew began to blur Alice's vision and stained her round cheeks. Yuzuha rarely showed earnest surprise on her face and Alice noted it quickly. Yuzuha had seen Alice cry, yes, but never in white hot, burning anger like this. Yuzuha's eyes began to knit tightly and her back arched as she pulled on her wrists. She let out a pained yelp. Alice likened it to stepping on a dog's tail and it tore the livid hurricane from her mind, leaving behind agonizing clarity from it's jarringly rawness. That was anything but performed.
Kama leapt into action. He scurried padded quickly up to his partner’s wrists and slapped his paw on one of the hands that held Yuzuha down. Alice quickly unhanded her and threw herself off Yuzuha, not stopping until her back hit the wall with a thud.
Yuzuha’s wrists were blanched, they might actually bruise. Her fingers had curled so hard into her palms that she’d broken the skin. Alice’s knees buckled, she almost tumbled onto them, it was only because of the purchase her hands made with the wall that she didn’t.
It didn't feel real, but it was. She didn't feel like she was capable, but she was. She actually hurt Yuzuha and worse, she didn’t even know why for certain. She struggled to breathe, it was like she was wheezing for air. Her ears roared with the blood rushing through her body, her sweat was like ice biting her skin. Her vision tunneled and her hands clasped over her mouth. She couldn’t be here. She was terrified she might do something else. If she was capable of that, she’d be capable of anything. She felt like a monster. She felt evil. What had she done to someone who'd already been through so much?
She took off from the room like a bolt. The blood rushing through her ears blotted out the pleading for her to stay. Her tunnelled vision almost made her bump into Kaede, her muscle memory keeping her from colliding with her and a stunned Li Baorong as she slipped past them and out into Failume Heights. She didn't stop. She didn't look back. She went straight for the cable cars. She wouldn’t stay at her apartment tonight. She couldn’t. It was time for another commute. Alice Thymefield was going home.