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There was something so tragically beautiful about the passing of time and the fleeting nature of life.
A sentence stuck in Kotone’s head whenever she found herself sitting on the edge of the roof of her apartment complex like she was at the very moment.
“Unnie, come down. They’re starting to throw a fit because of you downstairs.” Kaede said listlessly as she approached from behind her.
“The birthday girl should be present for her own celebration after all.” Kotone sighed, blowing out a puff of smoke.
Lazily she traced the various tattoos on her arms covering scars from the past.
A past that felt very present at the moment.
“You don’t turn 27 every day.” Kaede tried to sound encouraging.
“Next year, you’ll join me in the club Kae-ya if I even make it past it.”
“Ko-chan, what the heck.” Kaede didn’t sound amused but Kotone laughed all the same as her bare feet kept dangling in the air.
“Does it even matter? Just go back cuddling into SoDa-unnie’s lap. I don’t think they’re that worried 4 soju bottles into the night that they sent you up to save me from myself.” Kotone looked over her shoulder, cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth. “Did they send you though? Maybe you also just needed an escape, Kae-chan.”
Kaede frowned and sneered, looking at the half-empty box of cigarettes held her way.
“I don’t like it when you’re like this.” The younger girl gently pushed the packet of cigarettes away and Kotone chuckled.
“More for me anyway.”
“You sound like you inhaled Nien-unnie’s ‘brownie’ stash.”
Kotone stood up now right on the edge of the roof, arms spread like she was the king of the world. Looking down, her heart beat livelier than it ever was in her everyday life, if you could even count it as such.
“Unnie, get down here. Stop trying to be some adrenaline junkie you could die right now.”
“I’ll die eventually, Kae-ya. Maybe even make it into club 27 like a rockstar!”
“We’ll all die eventually, you moron! But that doesn’t mean you have to ask for it! We’ve had enough suicidal episodes these past fucking months. Please just come down to the ground… Come down to me, unnie.”
Kotone looked over her shoulder and saw Kaede’s outstretched hand.
“Please, unnie.”
She swallowed and the cigarette dropped from the corner of her mouth, right down the roof.
“You won’t try grabbing my shirt.” Kotone didn’t even know why she said it.
“You would have tried wrestling me off, tripped and then splattered on the concrete. Now please take my fucking hand I won’t ask again.” Desperation was evident in Kaede’s voice now.
Swallowing again through the dryness of her throat, Kotone carefully stepped off the ledge and nearly startled when Kaede practically threw her arms around her. Holding her tightly around the waist and face buried in the back of Kotone’s neck.
“P-please, don’t do that again.” Kotone felt the tears staining her shirt but smiled wistfully. “I can’t do that again.”
“So everytime I want you to be affectionate I just have to stand on the edge of a roof.”
“I’ll kill you myself if you do that again.”
“I love you too.”
“Let’s go meet the others downstairs.” Kaede didn’t make a move to leave the rooftop.
Kotone sighed and let the emotions rise up in her throat again, letting them out before they poisoned her from the inside again.
“I am… sorry.”
“I am sorry I didn’t see it sooner… that none of us saw it sooner.”
Emotion rose up in Kotone’s throat and she had to swallow it down.
“You see me now. The others are too drunk right now to even notice… I am glad.”
Silence spread between them only the sounds of the night in the air.
“Thanks though.”
Confusion was all Kotone felt at Kaede’s sentence.
“Why… are you thanking me?”
Kaede chuckled as if it was the most obvious thing, apparently it was for her and she leaned over to place a kiss below Kotone’s ear.
“Because you let me see you, unnie.”
“Oh… I guess.”
