Chapter Text
Darry had heard it several moments ago. The almost muffled yell that had broke through the stillness of the night. But he didn’t move from his chair. No, this had always been Soda’s thing- Ponyboy reaching out for comfort from their middle brother when the nightmares plagued him. Nightmares that had once been better but had returned in full force over the last two weeks.
It was never Darry that Ponyboy wanted after them, not even since the air had mostly been cleared between the two of them since his little brother’s return home, since the loss of their friends. The two of them were trying to make things better, both for themselves and for Soda.
So Darry sat there, holding his breath, telling himself that if another scream followed he would hover outside of the bedroom door in case Pony needed him since Soda was out.
But he doubted it.
He never resented Pony over it, it was simply how things had always been. Darry had always been the closest with Soda and in turn Pony had clung to Soda as they grew up. The one thing that never seemed to have changed in their lives. There had been moments though, back when Darry had nothing more to worry about than being an older brother, where all three of them would romp around throwing the football around in the front yard. Or him driving his younger two brothers to the lake in the middle of the scolding summers, ducking one another under the water. A time where they had felt like brothers, where there wasn’t this great divide, where he didn’t have to worry about food on the table and paying the bills.
But after mom and dad, there had been too much strain on them. A weight had settled onto Darry’s shoulders that he could barely comprehend most days, ripping away whatever brotherhood Darry had been grappling at to keep between him and Ponyboy. The ache was still there over the loss of it, deep between his chest, somewhere behind his ribs. An ache that never seemed to go away and it was all that he could do these days to remind himself that things were getting better even if he was still navigating that line of both a brother and father.
He ran a hand over his face, pulling himself away from his thoughts just in time to hear the creaking of a door opening. His eyes moving towards the hall where Ponyboy appeared a few seconds later.
“Darry?” Pony’s voice thick with sleep and an unspoken fear he knew his brother carried after his nightmares.
As much as he wanted to rush forth and comfort his brother, Darry knew better. Even after everything, Pony still never sought him for comfort. That was except for one time last week when the two of them had been in the front yard finally tackling the bushes that had seen better days. A car had backfired a street over and Pony had dropped instantly, shoving his hands over his ears as he gasped out Darry’s name, like it was the only thing that was keeping him from crumbling right there under the Tulsa sun. So Darry had gathered him in his arms and held him close until the shaking had stopped and Pony’s breathing had returned to normal. And his brother refused to meet his eyes days after.
Instead Darry leaned forward in his recliner, hands resting on his knees. “Everything alright little buddy?” The nickname sticking with Pony these days like it had always done with Soda.
“It’s just-“ Pony started then stopped, running a hand through his now short blonde hair.
“It was one of those nightmares, like after mom and dad.” He explained and Darry could feel his own heart shattering as he sat there looking at his brother. Those nightmares had always scared the shit out of him. The blood curdling scream of Pony breaking through the night; days, weeks, months after their parents had passed. Never being able to remember any of them, barely able to fall asleep afterwards. It had shook their house to the core and knowing that there was no way he could fix it, that he couldn’t protect his brother from them had broken Darry in a way he’d never admit.
“Think you’ll be able to go back to sleep?” Darry asked softly, not for sure if he had the privilege that Soda did to pull his brother into his arms. To hold him tight against his chest and try to protect him from both a world and dreams that were too cruel.
Slowly Pony gave a shake of his head and crossed over to the vacant couch, dropping onto it and letting his shoulders sag, noting how they seemed to tremble lightly.
Figuring he didn’t have much to lose, that he couldn’t just sit there and watch his brother being this shaken up, Darry pushed himself up and crossed the room. Taking a careful seat next to Pony on the couch. His eyes glanced over at his brother, the dark circles under his eyes, and the way he fidgeted with a loose string on his pajama pants. Looking almost younger than fourteen as he sat there.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Darry settled on after a second, his heart twisting in his chest, wishing there was more that he could do for his brother- brothers.
“Think they’ll go away, the nightmares?” Pony asked, looking up at Darry like he had all the answers in the world. And how he wished he did.
“I think in time they will kiddo, they did after a while with mom and dad.”
Slowly, almost like he was reaching out for a small, frightened animal, Darry brushed the sweat soak hair off of Pony’s face. Letting his fingers linger in his brother’s hair for a moment. Letting out a breath he didn’t he know he had been holding in when Pony didn’t jerk away from him.
“Everything is still so fresh, still so raw Pony, it might take time.” His voice gentler than he could ever remember it being with his baby brother, fingers carding through his hair for a second longer before he pulled his hand back. Not wanting to push his luck with Pony.
“Hell, it might even take longer but I promise, it’ll all be okay again.” It had to be okay again, Darry was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to handle things if they kept going to shit. “But Soda and I are here. We’re not going anywhere, baby. And I know I’m not Soda-“ The words tumbling out of his mouth before he could even stop them. Conversations like this were far and few for Darry. “But you can always come to me, Ponyboy. No matter what it might be and I’m so sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t for so long.”
He watched as Ponyboy opened his mouth to say something but Darry shook his head gently, he could see the exhaustion threatening to pull Pony back under. There would be time later for more conversations like these, ones that he knew he needed to have with just not Ponyboy. No matter how hard they were for him. He needed to do better, to do right by both of his brothers.
As Pony stifled a yawn, Darry reached out a gentle hand to lay on his shoulder, carefully pushing Pony back onto the cushions of the couch. Getting to his feet he grabbed the quilt from the back of the couch, the one his mother had made years ago before Pony had even been born. The quilt that had wrapped her boys up when the world felt too much for them as they grew up. The quilt, that even months after their passing, still wrapped her boys up to protect them from things she no longer could.
Carefully he laid it over his brother, Pony’s eyes already struggling to stay open. “Sleep, I’ll only be a few feet in the recliner.”
-
Which is exactly how Soda found them the next morning when he came in. Pony fast sleep on the couch still, the early morning sun dancing across his brother’s features, and Darry asleep in the recliner, head tilted back and mouth half open.
And as he stood there, he felt something warm tug in his chest. The three of them were going to be okay.