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Apollo actually made it out of the Sun Palace the next week, which was certainly improvement from not even being able to get out of bed.
In fact, he was even off Olympus. That's right! Be proud of him, dearest reader, because Apollo was now in Indiannapolis. Specifically, in the Waystation, sitting with two sleeping griffins—or, well. Abelard was sleeping by himself, his kid was curled up on Apollo's lap and still in that stage of light slumber. Almost a full year old now, the kiddo was about the size of a teenage golden retriever, and just as fluffy.
The sun god had found some peace here. It was quiet and spared from the chaos of the outside world (which in this case was Georgie maniacally chasing Leo around with a plastic knife), and it felt even nicer when he put into consideration the fact that he had barely managed getting to his gardens a week before. As much as he hated to admit it, Ares and Dionysus had been right. Getting out had definitely done something for him. Of course, he made the mistake of thinking he would be undisturbed here.
He had maybe twenty minutes of peace and quiet before a knock sounded on the door. Gods, what was with him and knocks these days?
For a fleeting second, he was actually annoyed. The feeling smothered itself immediately when the person who walked through the door was none other than Lityerses. Funnily enough, his mood seemed to improve with the sight of the cornhusker.
Lityerses blinked when he walked in, clearly not expecting the sun god of all people to be inside the griffin nest. A myriad of emotions flitted over his face. It was a nice face, too. His deeply tanned skin, littered with scars, complimented the dark curls of hair and the brown eyes that Apollo would have loved to get lost in. "Lester?"
Apollo gave him a weak smile, bringing a finger to his lips. "Shhh," he whispered. "They're sleeping."
"Oh," Lit said, lowering his voice. "Uh...I came down here to feed the griffins, but clearly you've already done that." He gestured to the father and son, rubbing the back of his neck with something that resembled sheepishness. His cheeks were tinged the faintest shade of red, and the sight of it had Apollo's stomach fluttering. Clearing his throat, he crouched low to settle down next to the sun god, their shoulders so close they nearly brushed together. "So, what're you doing in the nest?"
Apollo blew a stray curl out of his face. "I'm on an endeavor to satisfy my siblings. They think I spend too much time in my room."
Lit chuckled softly. "It has been a solid month since you've last visited, Sunshine. Georgie thought you got yourself in trouble again."
"I love how much faith you all have in me," he scoffed, folding his arms. "No, I did not get into trouble. I was just tired."
Apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because the smile faltered on Lit's face, concern etching into his features. For a second, Apollo felt his heart drop. He didn't want this conversation to get sad. He didn't want everyone's mood dropping every time he said something. Strangely enough, Lit's concern didn't appear the same as everyone else's. It was more genuinely worried about him than it was for him, and those were two very different things in Apollo's eyes.
"I'm okay, by the way," Apollo assured him. "Right now, at least."
The demigod reached over, pausing for a moment when Apollo tensed. Slowly, he brought his hand closer, eventually pulling it back with a piece of hay pinched between his fingers. Lit smiled. "You had hay in your hair." A small pause. "It's okay to not be okay," he said, not unkindly, just in gentle reminder.
The sun god met his gaze, the bronze flames in it hypnotizing. "Maybe down here it is," he mumbled, fiddling with his thumbs. "Olympus is a different story."
Lit nudged him lightly, the smile that spread across his face revealing dimples the god physically had to drag his eyes away from. "Well then, it's a good thing you're not in Olympus right now."
That...Apollo hadn't really thought of it like that. "Yeah, I—I guess you're right."
Lityerses tilted his head, his dark curls bouncing with the motion. "I'm always right, Sunshine."
That promptly earned him a slap to the shoulder, to which the idiot only grinned at. For a good minute or so, the silence that was filled only by the passing of their own breaths was—warm. This was pretty okay, Apollo thought. It gave off that family vibe—you know, the one you get when you're at that one friend's house and you realize this is what it's actually supposed to be like? Except it wasn't a sad realization, it was more...relieving. Because this time, Apollo knew he had a place in this family.
Suddenly, he got an idea.
"Say," he started, turning back to Lityerses, "in honor of my ventures into the world outside my room..." Apollo carefully dragged his pinkie over Lit's, slowly hooking them together. "I was thinking I could maybe take you up on that coffee you offered."
Lityerses blinked, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he worked past his surprise. "What, like right now?"
Apollo felt heat rush into his cheeks. "U-uhm—I mean, o-only if you want to...?"
His expression softened to a level Apollo hadn't deemed possible for someone like him, his eyes melting into pools of liquid chocolate. He abandoned the god's pinkie altogether and simply intertwined their fingers. "Sounds productive enough to satisfy your siblings, hmm?"
A genuine smile found its way onto Apollo's face, and it was his turn to flush. "Does that mean the offer's still on?"
"Come on," Lit said, gently pulling the sun god up so as to not disturb the sleeping griffins. "You don't want to walk into a coffee shop covered in hay, do you?"
"That wouldn't be ideal, no," Apollo agreed, a surprising giddiness overtaking him as his attention all went to memorizing the way the demigod's calloused fingers brushed against his own. It was certainly a feeling the sun god could easily get used to.
The two of them stumbled out of the room and into the living room, because of course the Waystation had to choose the most populated room in the building to shove them into. Georgie's eyes went wide when she saw them, and she burst into giggles as she poked Leo's arm to get his attention.
Leo looked up from his newest mechanism with a slightly startled expression. "What's up, Georgie?"
The girl promptly pointed at the pair of them, her other hand covering her mouth in an attempt to smother her giggles. Leo turned in the direction his sister pointed in, his eyebrows promptly shooting up when he saw their hands intertwined with each other. At the sight of the dumb grin growing on the son of Hephaestus' face, Lityerses rolled his eyes and pulled Apollo around a corner, and the Waystation ever so helpfully shoved the stairs in front of them.
"Meet back here in ten minutes?" Apollo asked, heart thundering in his chest from anticipation as he walked towards his room. It was just coffee, and yet, it was progress. He actually wanted to do this, and he was going to do it. It all felt—he didn't know the word for it. All he knew was that this made him happy and almost, sort of maybe even proud of himself.
"Yeah," Lit agreed before slipping into his own room to change.
Apollo knew he could just snap his fingers and change into the most dazzling outfit known to mankind. For this, though, he wanted to do it manually. He wanted to do something for himself for once, and maybe he could start with this. After much contemplating, fits of frustration, and swapping around certain parts of the outfits, he finally decided on something that made looking in the mirror slightly less miserable.
He didn't feel like going bold, so he'd chosen to keep his color scheme in a variety of warm browns and beiges, all of it perfectly oversized. Sue him, oversized clothes felt like the physical incarnation of comfort, like the clothes themselves were giving you a big hug. It was also the middle of December, and while it was nowhere near NYC cold, it was still very chilly out. (Not that Apollo could feel the cold if he didn't want to, but he'd been trying to avoid any form of sensory deprivation ever since he came back from his trials. It made things feel more real that way, more like he belonged here and not in that palace filled with toxicity.)
His hair was in an elegant half-up-half-down with the colors in a peekaboo combination of his Lester hair and his Apollo hair. He'd added his pop of color to be in the makeup aspect of his attire, if only to make him look like he belonged in the land of the living and not the most recent resident of his uncle's kingdom. He stepped back to inspect himself. He looked—still tired, but less I-don't-want-to-exist tired, and he saw that as win.
Taking a deep breath, he turned and walked out of the room, smiling at Lityerses, who was already waiting for him outside.
Apollo had to appreciate how easy things were with Lit. He always let things be in their simplest form, never overcomplicating things to the point where Apollo wanted to eradicate every piece of information from his mind. Apollo had asked about the coffee, and all he'd gotten was a genuine question and a perfect amount of enthusiasm with the final "Come on." He was never careless, never overly exaggerated. It made Apollo feel seen.
"Ready to go?" Lit asked, offering his hand again.
Apollo took it, warmth blooming in his chest. "Yeah."
It was just coffee. He could do this. He was doing this, by choice, and with Lityerses for company.
And that was maybe the best part of it all.
The coffee shop they'd found was beautiful.
The inside was painted in a chocolatey brown, accented with a plethora of flourishing greenery and yellow fairy lights. The smell of espresso and fresh coffee beans hung in the air, gentle Christmas instrumentals playing in the background, and with the heaters on full blast, it was nice and toasty in there. They could have gotten to sit next to one of the giant windows, allowing a full view of the winter wonderland outside, snow covering everything.
In the end, however, they'd chosen to take a walk through said winter wonderland, and Apollo wouldn't have had it any other way. He sipped at his coffee, goosebumps rising on his skin as the hot liquid poured down his throat. The steam that brushed his skin and the warmth radiating from the cup felt wonderful in the cold.
Lityerses walked beside him, sipping at his own coffee and watching him with intrigue. His hair had grown out considerably since Apollo's time as a mortal, now reaching shoulder-length and somehow just as wonderfully messy. His ever-scarred face was flushed from being out in the cold, small speckles of white dotting the top of his head where snow had fallen on him.
Apollo huffed a breath. "What? I know you want to ask me something. You have your 'thinking face' on."
Lit scoffed and narrowed his eyes at him. "I do not have a 'thinking face'."
"You so do!" Apollo countered, flicking the side of his head. "Your head tilts slightly and there's this V that forms between your eyebrows, and you're always biting the inside of your cheek." He promptly poked said cheek, causing the demigod to blush a shade darker.
"Didn't know you paid so much attention to my habits, Sunshine," Lit cooed teasingly, finishing his coffee and discarding of the cup in the nearest trashcan.
Apollo rolled his eyes, ducking his face to hide his smile. "You think too generously of my opinion on your looks. Someone ought to bring down that ego a little."
That got an actual laugh out of him. "Is that right?"
The sun god hummed noncommittally as he drank his coffee. He felt a hand wrap around his hip, and suddenly he was being spun around into the son of Midas' arms. Apollo yelped and fumbled for his coffee, desperately moving to keep it from falling. He shot him an annoyed glare, one that only seemed to amuse the cornhusker.
"It's interesting you'd say that," Lityerses said, lowering his voice. "Because I starkly remember you agreeing that I was good-looking."
Apollo was sure his face was glowing like the fairy lights back in the coffee shop. "I clearly shouldn't have. Your head's gotten far too big because of it."
"Would you take back your own words, then, Lord Apollo?" Lityerses raised his eyebrows expectantly, tilting his head.
Apollo's breath caught as he did. Because now their proximity was suddenly much closer, their noses nearly touching. He was suddenly very aware of the hands on his hips and the sheer amount of warmth that radiated from them. Dear gods, this man was like a walking heater, and that was coming from him. Was it possible to die from heatstroke in the middle of winter? He tried to process Lit's words and was left positively speechless. He could play pretend, dance around the answer for days on end if he needed to, but as the god of truth, Apollo could never truly lie. It went against his very being.
And the answer to Lit's question was very obviously no. Apollo wouldn't take them back, because to refuse to admit that the son of Midas was attractive would, unfortunately, count as going against his very being. He chose to remain silent instead, though that was enough of an answer as is.
Lityerses grinned, his dimples appearing on either side of his mouth. "Don't worry, Sunshine. I think you're very pretty as well."
Apollo should've hated the way he preened at the praise. Fireworks went off in his head, warmth flowering in his chest. The dangerous feeling was back, though he supposed he shouldn't be surprised about that. Lit's words were the nicest thing he'd heard in months. That was kind of sad. Really sad when he thought about it. Oh gods, he was thinking about it. No, no, no, don't go there, please don't go there. He really didn't want to go there.
He was fine. He was doing okay, better than okay. His brain couldn't go back there now. He'd gotten so far—
"Apollo."
Apollo's gaze snapped up to find Lityerses' face wiped of all amusement. For a terrifying heartbeat, he thought he'd find pity, or maybe panic. But Lit was just calm, the V between his brows the only sign of worry. His fingers curled around Apollo's as he pushed the cup of coffee to the god's lips. "Your lips are turning blue," he said simply, gesturing for the sun god to drink as he led them down the streets again.
Apollo wordlessly took a couple of sips, ignoring the way his hands trembled. When he finished, he tossed the cup in the next trashcan, hugging his middle, forcing himself to focus on Lit's arm around his waist.
"Still okay?" asked Lit, his breath forming little white swirls in the air as he spoke.
Apollo swallowed, not having it in him to dodge the question. "I...I thought I was fine. Guess I'm still just all over the place." He sighed, staring at his boots as they walked him forward. "I don't know why I'm like this. I'm sorry."
"Not on Olympus, remember?" Lit caught the god's chin between his thumb and pointer, tilting it up to meet his gaze. "It's okay to be 'all over the place'. Nobody expects you to be perfect."
Apollo groaned, knocking his head back to look at the sky, snow landing lightly on his nose and cheeks. "I know, it's just—we were having fun, and then I lose it over something completely irrelevant. There's literally like, no correlation. And I—I'm still...I just mean you shouldn't have to deal with that—me."
"I'd be a total hypocrite if I ever judged you for your problems," Lit said with a soft laugh. "Don't forget about the state you found me in."
"That's different," Apollo mumbled.
"Is it?" Lityerses pulled him closer until Apollo was leaning into his side. "Or are you just being harsher on yourself because you're used to being the one who's supposed to heal others?"
The god's shoulders slumped, his mouth parting in shock. He detachedly noted how the cornhusker had worded that. "You're used to being the one", not, "You're the one". Like Apollo wasn't actually expected to do exactly that. Like his occupation wasn't all there was to him. He felt his throat tighten.
"How am I supposed to unlearn that?" he whispered, digging his nails into his arms. He sucked in a breath, turning his face away to blink back the pressure building behind his eyes. "This is so incredibly stupid. We were fine—I was fine. I can be fine. I'm just freaking out, I'll be okay in a minute."
"Apollo..." Lit stepped in front of the sun god, pulling him off the main pathway and leaving him with no choice but to look at the demigod. "It's okay to need help."
"I don't need help," Apollo hissed, his eyes burning. He cursed himself for retaining so many things from his time as a mortal. He loses the acne but can't hold back his own emotions? What sort of deal was that?
"And," Lit added, voice so devastatingly earnest, "it's okay to want help anyway. You don't always have to be on your final breath to ask for it. You taught me that one."
Apollo's lower lip trembled, guilt riling through him with every tear that fell. "Damn you," he whispered, sniffling as Lityerses pulled him into a hug. He melted almost immediately, not even caring that he was crying his heart out in public. He doesn't know how long they stood there, him sobbing into Lit's chest as the demigod held him with the utmost patience.
He tried to calm himself down by turning his attention to the fact that Lit was hugging him, but that just made him want to cry even more because why did this idiot have to be so fucking perfect? At least when he was trying to kill Apollo, all he had was a handsome face. Now he was both handsome and so sweet towards Apollo and that was a deadly combination.
"Shit," he mumbled, wiping away his tears frantically. "I definitely just screwed over my makeup."
"What? No, you look fine!" Lityerses gave him a coy grin. "Sure, you look like you got into a fist-fight with a clown, but you look fine."
Apollo sniffled, rubbing his eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. "Did I at least win the fight?" he croaked weakly.
"Oh, definitely," Lit assured him in the most serious tone he could seem to muster.
He laughed. It was a wet, cracking sound, but it was a laugh. As genuine as one could get. He swallowed again, trying to catch his breath. "Gods, I'm such a mess."
"Mmh, that makes two of us," Lit chuckled.
Apollo sniffled as brushed away the snowflakes that had gotten caught on Lit's jacket. He appreciated his attempts to make him feel better. It worked remarkably well. "Yeah, but you're like, a sophisticated mess."
"That doesn't even make any sense," he protested, grinning all the while.
Apollo pressed a finger to the boy's lips. "Don't argue with the god of logic, Prince."
Something sparkled in Lit's eyes as the nickname left the sun god's mouth. "And who is to accompany this lonely prince at the mercy of the harsh winter?"
"What happened to the princess?" asked Apollo, raising an eyebrow.
"She ran away," Lit said with a dramatic sigh, suddenly seeming desolate. He'd make a wonderful actor, Apollo thought. "You see, she thought the prince was too crazy and left him for the clown."
Apollo's face hurt from how his smile continued to pull at his cheeks. Huh. That was a new feeling for him. "Maybe there's a god who likes a bit of craziness every now and then."
Lit stepped back and took the sun god's hand, bowing as he pressed his lips to his knuckles. "Then it's a pleasure to have your company, My Lord."
Apollo thought he might die right then and there. His heart skipped along to the beat of Fire In My Heart, his breath catching in his throat as flames rushed through him, and he physically had to stop himself from bursting into a miniature supernova and hospitalizing every person in a thirty-mile radius from sunburns.
Lityerses rose, and suddenly they were right back where they began, centimeters apart from one another, impossibly warm arms circling Apollo and the god's own arms slung around the cornhusker's neck. This time, however, Apollo didn't feel his mind slipping away into the dungeons he'd made for himself on Olympus. He felt okay. Better than okay. Good. Still sniffling and teary-eyed, but in this exact moment, he felt good. And he refused to ruin it by worrying about how he'd feel later.
It was Lityerses' turn to swallow, his eyes flitting between the god's lips and his eyes. His cheeks flushed a deeper shade of red, and Apollo restrained himself from turning into a godly street lamp at the thought that it wasn't just from the cold. "We should probably head back before Emmie and Jo get worried."
Apollo tilted his head, something in his stomach fluttering wildly. "What, I don't get a reward?"
"A reward?" Lit's tone was playful, but he seemed genuinely curious.
"Yes, a reward," Apollo huffed, feigning offense. "I just fought an imaginary clown for you, and you want to bring me home with nothing in return?"
"Ah, forgive me, My Lord." Lityerses brought up a hand to brush away the lingering tears on Apollo's face. "What is it that you wish to have?"
The sun god felt his breath hitch. "What are you willing to offer?"
Lit met his gaze, bronze meeting gold. A sun setting to return home below the canyons. "Anything."
Apollo pushed himself up on the tips of his boots, pressing his lips to Lit's. Heat dripped in his stomach when Lit tightened his grip on his hips, kissing him back with equal enthusiasm. Maybe it was possible to die from heatstroke in the middle of winter, after all. The kiss wasn't deep or particularly passionate, but it was everything Apollo needed in the moment. Chaste and sweet, and an otherworldly level of perfect. He tasted of bittersweet coffee and Apollo couldn't hold back his smile at the revelation.
Lit pulled back slightly with a laugh. "I can't kiss you if you keep smiling, idiot." A pause. "Though I suppose that's a reward in on its own," he murmured breathlessly, staring at the bright grin on Apollo's lips.
The sun god flushed gold, and with a final peck to the corner of Lit's lips, he grabbed his arm and began leading him back to the Waystation. "Come on. We actually do have to go now, or your mothers will have my hide."
Lit pouted but followed along. Their hands slotted together like puzzle pieces made for one another, and Lit gave Apollo's hand a light squeeze.
"Still okay?" he asked softly, pressing a kiss to his temple.
Apollo didn't know how to describe what had just happened. How could he possibly put into words that the boy had single-handedly lifted, like, fifty percent of the weight off his heart, made him feel like he was burning and ascending all at once?
Maybe he'd just take a page out of Lit's book; keep it simple.
"Actually, yes," he said, giddy with the tingling feeling that lingered on his lips. "I'm okay. This is okay."
And for the first time in a long while, Apollo really did mean it.
Lityerses smiled, those gorgeous dimples popping up on either side of his mouth. "Good."
Yeah. This was good.