Work Text:
It's Willowpaw! Today I woke up, sorted some herbs, and got ready for my mentor, Mothwing, to teach me! She said, "Today is a half moon gathering, but I'll quiz u on medical stuff until then" And I was like, "YAYYYYAYAYAY!!! WOOHOOO HALF MOON GATHERINGS! I get to see my *platonic* BESTIE HOLLYPAW!" Now us and Hollypaw are just friends, and medicine cat friendship is the strongest! Whenever I see her my heart goes boom shakalaka cha cha real smooth. And I know that from what Mothwing tells me, that's a sign of a VERY strong medicine cat friendship. Who needs a mate anyway? "Hey Mothwing, how many deathberries would it take to kill a medicine cat?" I ask, very educational. "Erm... R U getting ideas from Hollypaw? I know her mentor is Leafpool...... oh how I miss her....." She responded. "Well, medicine medicine medicine?" She asks. And "Medicine medicine medicine" I answer, correctly of course, I'm so smart! And then it was time for the half moon gathering! Yay!! I was bouta hey bbygirl to Hollypaw, but then Hollypaw was no where to be found! Only some random ass gray cat. I went up to him and I was like, "Hey." In my deep manly man testosterone voice, "I ain't seen u round' these parts," And he shyly responded, "Y-yeah... I-I'm Jayp-paw...... I'M LEAFPOOL'S NEW APPRENTICE!" Wow! This medicine apprentice is a wimp! But he's completely irrelevant to any major plot so I just ignored him and went to talk to Leafpool. "Oh hi Willowpaw!" She said, she's basically like the Mothwing of my StarClan experience. "Leafpool-senpai!! Why is there an ugly gray cat instead of my beautiful girlfriend! :(" I very calmly asked. I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. She said, "bcuz Jaypaw just has the natural, youthful glow that hollypaw doesn't have" GASP! WAS SHE INSULTING MY FRIEND WHO IS A GIRL!?!?!?! Awh hell nawh I'm leaving this place. I stormed off very stormfully with storm in my paws. Grrrrr... who does she think she is. Back in my den, I was the only medicine cat. Because Mothwing was still back there making out with Leafpool or smth. Which is a sign of a very good friendship, btw. I guess it's time to sleep. And I sleep at night like humans do because that's totally how cats work. THE END.
(And there was no canon yuri [sad]TwT)