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Jackie doesn’t really know why it’d taken her so long, but she feels stupid when it finally clicks for her in the spring of 2026, after she’s already wasted her last Homecoming on Jeff Sadecki (who’s been freshly dumped yet again) and only has just a few months left of high school.
She really doesn’t have an excuse. It’s 2026—not, like, the 90s. They’re in liberal New Jersey. Tai and Van have been out for ages, and the JV girl in the hat is basically out too with how obvious it is to everyone. Their student body is chock full of teenagers labeling themselves with words Jackie isn’t woke enough to even begin to understand. And her parents are a little on the religious side, but they’re not oppressive about it. They’d even gone to her gay second cousin’s wedding in Atlantic City when Jackie was a baby.
So, she should’ve been open enough to it to have known. Probably. After the jokes at her and Shauna’s expense from Tai and Van, and how she hadn’t exactly hated those practice kisses with Shauna in middle school, and the way she’s always loved just being around Shauna in general, just looking at her sometimes and marveling at how pretty she is.
Kind of like she’s doing now, two weeks into knowing and doing nothing about it. Yet.
Shauna’s cross-legged on Jackie’s bed, hunched over a math textbook with the end of her pencil in her mouth, eyebrows scrunched together like she’s concentrating hard, and Jackie wants her nerd ass so desperately it’s pathetic.
The thing about realizing it is that it isn’t the only thing she’s realized. Jackie may have been a little terrible at self-reflection, given her current circumstances, but she’s usually pretty good at other people, and she likes to think of herself as great at Shauna. Two weeks of careful observation had simply sealed the deal on her early hypothesis.
In summary: Jackie wants Shauna, and Shauna definitely wants Jackie back, and now that Jackie’s aware of it, it’s a little bit hilarious.
Because how could they have made it eighteen entire years without either of them realizing that it’s mutual? They’ve been inseparable since diapers. Shauna’s never shown an interest in boys and Jackie’s spent years complaining endlessly about Jeff between dozens of breakups. Shauna wears flannels. She’s been turning red while Jackie does her makeup since the seventh grade. Jackie seeks her out at parties and rambles about how great Shauna’s boobs are as soon as she’s got one shot in her. She makes Shauna post selfies on Instagram and then comments things on them like “If I were a boy…” followed by an embarrassing amount of flame and heart-eye and drooling emojis. Yesterday she’d bent over to pick up a pencil she’d dropped and caught Shauna staring at her ass.
Like, let’s be serious. She should feel a little silly.
But! Now she knows, and for as much as Shauna prides herself on her big brain, Jackie seems to have beaten her to knowing. (Jackie will definitely be rubbing that in her face later. Maybe once they’re girlfriends.) And the next step is to figure out what she’s going to do about it.
Because the thing about Shauna is that she takes everything way too seriously. And as easy as it would be to just blurt out, right in the middle of their shared study session, “So, Shauna, I’ve realized that I’m in love with you, and you’re like, painfully obvious about loving me back now that I’m paying attention, so I’m gonna pounce on you now, okay?” it’s just not really Jackie’s style. She’s much more inclined to just mount Shauna without the wordy preamble and kiss it out of her. It’d be nice, she thinks, to find a way to get Shauna to speak up. Finally stop—Jackie assumes—filling pages of her journal with her feelings about Jackie and just say them to her face instead.
She sits on the idea, and decides she likes it: the idea of pulling it out of Shauna, anyway. Getting her to confess first by just flirting relentlessly with her until it finally clicks and Shauna stops being an oblivious idiot.
And that’s how it all comes about, in the end: Jackie Taylor’s Foolproof Plan to Break Shauna Shipman.
-
She starts small. Waits a couple days for Shauna to come over for a sleepover after one of their soccer practices and then cuddles up to Shauna while they’re supposed to be falling asleep, throws an arm over her, and slides her fingertips just under the hem of Shauna’s shirt to feel the skin of her abdomen.
Okay, maybe she doesn’t start small, but it’s worth it for the way Shauna twitches abruptly and then asks, “Um?” as Jackie’s hand explores distractingly close to the waistband of her shorts.
“I’ve been thinking of changing my body wash,” Jackie lies, thankful she’d had this prepped, because she’s having more trouble using her head right now than she thought she would. Shauna’s body is kind of insane. “Your skin is so soft. What do you use?”
“Uh…” Jackie’s finger traces the line of her waistband and she practically hears Shauna gulp. She’s lucky Shauna’s back is to her, otherwise she’d see the proud smirk that nearly splits Jackie’s face. “W-Whatever my mom buys me, I guess?”
“I’ll look next time I use your shower,” Jackie says. Her palm skates across Shauna’s abdomen. “You almost have abs, you know.” She presses with her fingers, feels them meet a sexy amount of firmness. “A couple more months of soccer and you’ll be ready to show them off in the summer.” And by then I’ll be able to sink my teeth into them and suck on your skin and leave hickeys everywhere and run my tongue all over your—
Ugh. Jesus. Slow down, tiger.
Almost like she can hear Jackie’s lurid thoughts, Shauna stiffens against her. She sounds considerably less distracted when she huffs, “Well, we can’t all have bodies like yours.”
Jackie’s eyebrows furrow. Huh. That one’s thrown her for a loop. And kind of killed the vibe. “Well,” she says carefully, trying to get it back, “you know what I think?” She scoots in closer, lifts her head to get her mouth within close range of Shauna’s ear. “I think you’re the sexiest girl at Wiskayok High, Shipman.”
Again, Shauna tenses. Jackie’s sure of herself this time. She’s nailed it. Shauna’s about to roll over and kiss her silly and then ramble about how long she’s been waiting to do it, how long she’s been waiting for a sign that she’s allowed. And then maybe she’ll tell Jackie to spread her legs, or beg Jackie to touch her. Jackie hasn’t decided how she wants that part to go yet.
“Don’t make fun of me,” Shauna mumbles, pushing Jackie’s hand out from under her shirt. “Go to bed, Jackie.”
Jackie gapes at the back of her head, aghast. Offended. Either Shauna has the self-esteem of an acne-ridden preteen or she thinks Jackie’s an asshole, and both of those things are catastrophically bad realizations.
Jackie settles on assuming it’s the one that’s less mutually damning. “What? You’re hot.”
“You have to say that,” Shauna says flatly. Jackie can picture her rolling her eyes. “You’re my best friend.”
Jackie grits her teeth. This is maybe going to be harder than she’d thought.
-
She waits until there’s alcohol for her next opportunity: a party at Mari’s place, teenagers packed into one house with music booming and drinks flowing.
Jeff is there, which puts Shauna in a sour mood because he’s Jackie’s ex and she loves Jackie—and Jackie loves that she can see it for what it is now, finally, and that she can take Shauna by the hand and tell her, “I wanna spend all night with you,” with her voice a little lower and suggestive.
Shauna doesn’t really react to it, unfortunately, looking broody as she pours herself a drink and replies leadingly, “Well, you and Jeff are due to get back together soon.”
You’re cute when you’re jealous, Jackie wants to say, but what she says instead is, “I’m thinking of trying something new,” blinking heavily at Shauna from under her eyelashes.
Shauna turns away from her mid-blink to scowl across the crowd at Jeff again. “Why is he even here?”
Jackie suppresses a groan. “Ugh, who cares? Let’s take shots.”
Shauna lets Jackie drag her away to dig through where Mari’s parents keep the shot glasses. The rum burns going down the first time around. The second shot isn’t as bad.
Jackie gulps down her drink afterward, then takes Shauna’s from her, sets it aside, and lets the liquid courage carry her forward. “Let’s dance.”
Shauna sighs. “I hate da—“
“Not tonight,” Jackie declares, pressing her index finger to her lips to shut her up. Shauna freezes, and as they just blink at each other Jackie feels the alcohol starting to fully take effect. “Come here,” she decides, and seizes Shauna’s hand to drag her into the living room.
She presses Shauna against the wall once they’re there, and it’s so packed; they’re all just a mass of endless bodies. Jackie turns, wraps Shauna’s arms around herself, and starts to move against her, pressing her hips back into Shauna just enough to have her stiffening uncertainly where she’s trapped between Jackie and the wall.
Jackie ups the ante, clutching one of Shauna’s hands, dragging it up over Jackie’s stomach to her ribs. She feels Shauna let out a sharp exhale; it tickles the shell of her ear.
“You can touch me,” Jackie tells her lowly. “C’mon.”
She doesn’t see Shauna’s reaction, but she feels her move out from behind Jackie, pull her hand free, and then push into the crowd, leaving Jackie behind. Jackie stares after her, forlorn and confused, until she sees him too late: Jeff, watching her from the edge of the room with an unmistakably aroused look on his face. Shauna must’ve seen him too. And then assumed that Jackie had been putting on a show.
“For fuck’s sake,” Jackie slurs to herself. “She’s impossible.”
-
Her third attempt the following week involves crawling across Shauna’s bed to close Shauna’s textbook, ignoring her annoyed, “Hey!” and then crawling right into her lap to a sharp, “What’re you—?”
Which Jackie cuts off, hands on Shauna’s shoulders, with a simple, “I wanna make out.”
Let’s see your head work its way out of this one, Shipman.
Shauna gapes at her. Her cheeks flush a pretty pink. Jackie raises her eyebrows as she watches her flounder for something to say. “I—what? Like… like when we were kids?”
“Mmm…” Jackie pretends to think about it. “Kind of, but this isn’t for practice. I just wanna kiss you.”
Shauna blinks at her. Jackie watches her wheels turn. Then it’s like a dark shadow falls across her face, and she’s retorting, “What, are you that bored without Jeff around to—“
“Nope,” Jackie says simply, shaking her head. She waits patiently. “Not bored. Just wanna kiss Shauna Shipman. Like I said.”
If Shauna’s brain had cogs, Jackie’s pretty sure that there’d be actual smoke exiting her head through her ears now. She’s trying so hard to find another angle for this. It’s kind of cute. And sad.
“Is there some TikTok challenge you—?“
“No TikTok challenge,” Jackie nearly laughs out. This is so ridiculous. “I want your tongue in my mouth. End of sentence. Chop chop, Shipman. Come here.”
Shauna’s never looked so dumb. Her mouth is just parted slightly in utter confusion, and her eyes are so wide, her eyebrows at the top of her forehead.
A sudden knock on the door startles them out of their mutual staring, and Jackie deflates, trying not to let her frustration show. “Jackie!” Shauna’s mom calls out. “Your mother asked me to tell you to check your phone. She wants you home in time for dinner.”
“Thanks!” Jackie says, and dismounts Shauna with a heavy sigh. “Alright. Rain check, then.”
She pulls her shoes on, gives Shauna an easy wave goodbye. Shauna’s already openly leaning over to snatch her journal from her nightstand before Jackie’s even got the bedroom door fully shut behind herself. She’s certain Shauna’s probably scribbling animatedly into it by the time she’s even reached her car.
The thought makes her laugh. Shauna’s the most frustrating person she’s ever met, but she’s also a little bit adorable.
-
Actually, Shauna’s just frustrating. The whole point of this was to get her to confess first, and instead she’s been walking around school all day with a dark cloud over her head, avoiding Jackie’s eyes and giving her short one-word answers.
Jackie figures she’s just pouting because they hadn’t gotten a chance to follow through yesterday—honestly, Jackie’s more than a little bummed about it too—and so she waits until they’re the last two in the locker room before practice to cut Shauna off at the exit and tell her through a smirk, “Uh-uh. Toll’s one kiss. Pay up.”
Shauna studies her carefully. “What are you doing?”
Jackie straightens up and tilts her head, crossing her arms. Now she’s confused. “Telling you to kiss me?”
“Why?”
Well, she can’t answer that. Not until she gets Shauna to crack first. It’s a pride thing at this point, after how much effort she’s been putting in.
“Because I want you to.”
Shauna’s nostrils flare. “Well,” she sputters, and now Jackie’s starting to wonder if she’s genuinely upset, “you can’t just… tell me to do whatever you want and just expect me to do it, Jackie.”
Jackie arches a brow. “Do you not wanna kiss me?”
As expected, Shauna promptly reddens. As not expected, she mumbles something under her breath that sounds like, “Whatever, this is stupid,” and then hurries around Jackie and out of the locker room without making eye contact.
As soon as she’s alone, Jackie tips her head back and groans.
-
Fortunately, Jackie has the patience of a saint—at least for a few painstaking days—and at their next sleepover she just watches Shauna do homework while Jackie’s supposed to be reading a book for her English class. The book’s open in her hands, but very obviously being ignored. She doesn’t even bother hiding the way her eyes slide over the slope of Shauna’s nose, settle at her mouth, dart to the expanse of her neck, flicker to her chest. Take her in with open hunger while her mind plays too many fantasies to count on a loop in her head.
Shauna’s been squirming for half an hour now and she’s finished two math problems in the same amount of time. Jackie’s been keeping track.
“Am I making you nervous, Shipman?” she asks, tilting her head, and Shauna blows out a bitter breath and then scowls down at her textbook.
“You’ve been fucking weird lately,” she mutters.
“Have I?” Jackie flirts. Shauna rolls her eyes. “I guess you’re just… bringing it out in me.”
Shauna’s pencil pauses midway through the problem she’s scribbling into her notebook. Jackie sees her jaw clench, but she says nothing. Her pencil starts moving again.
Jackie pushes harder. “I keep thinking about our Nationals trip, you know. Seattle. A hotel room. What do you think we’ll do there?”
Shauna gives a disinterested shrug. “I don’t know. The Space Needle sounds interesting.”
Jackie could strangle her. “In the hotel room, Shauna.” She softens her voice, recognizing she’s on the edge of snippy. “We’ll have it to ourselves every night for like a week, you know.”
“If this is you trying to soft-launch getting me to sneak out with you—“ Shauna still won’t look up at her.
Jackie’s halfway to just doing something wild to commandeer Shauna’s attention, like maybe taking her top off on the spot. “No, I wanna stay in, Shauna.”
“Surprisingly boring, coming from you.” Shauna scribbles down another number.
Jackie’s eyes narrow. She snaps her book shut, and finally gets Shauna to lift two startled eyes to her. “Are you doing this on purpose?”
Shauna furrows her eyebrows. “Doing what?”
“Oh my God,” Jackie huffs, and then tosses her book aside, shoves Shauna’s off of the bed entirely, and hauls her in by the back of her neck.
She’s not really sure what to expect from Shauna, because they’re not twelve anymore and she’s pretty sure that she’s still the only person Shauna’s ever kissed, but Shauna gets the hang of it pretty quickly. It just takes a few seconds of clumsiness, and then Jackie muttering, “Just aim for my top lip,” because she wants to suck on Shauna’s bottom lip, and then they’re kind of off to the races, Jackie scrambling hurriedly into Shauna’s lap again and dragging Shauna’s hands to her hips.
Someone moans. It’s probably Jackie, because she feels the vibration of it in her throat. Her hands tangle into Shauna’s hair, and then grip her shoulders, and then shove her down flat on the bed, so when they finally do part, breathing heavily, it’s with Jackie leaning over Shauna and Shauna’s hair fanned out prettily across the mattress. Jackie pulls herself together and manages a victorious smirk.
Shauna swallows hard. “Was that, like… Are you gonna stop bothering me about doing this now?”
Jackie’s smirk slips. She could legitimately kill herself on the spot. “You need to stop talking,” she decides. “You need to never be allowed to talk again, actually.”
Shauna opens her mouth, face contorting into a look of heavy offense. Jackie heads off whatever delusional nonsense is about to come out of her by kissing her silly again: hard and fast, and even harder when Shauna lets out the most delicious whimper and goes pliant, accepting her place beneath Jackie and the urgent slide of their mouths.
Jackie pulls away when she needs air, kissing her way to Shauna’s ear, muttering into it, “How obvious do you need me to make it that I want you? Jesus. Are you getting it now?”
Shauna freezes up beneath her, and a beat passes. Then Jackie feels her nodding rapidly.
“Good. Now say you want me back.”
There’s a longer pause. Shauna lets out a nervous puff of breath. “When you say you want me…?”
Jackie pushes herself up into a sitting position with a roll of her eyes. “As my own personal live-in chef, clearly. My parents are hiring.”
Shauna scowls up at her. “That’s not what I was asking.”
“I know what you were asking; you’re just annoying.” Jackie crosses her arms. “Tell me first. I’ve said plenty.”
Shauna’s jaw clenches. “Fine,” she blurts, “I… I fucking like you. Are you happy? I don’t even…” And then she softens, and says quietly, “I don’t even just like you. I’ve—Since forever, I’ve—“
Jackie stops her there, equally soft now. Shauna’s said enough. They can save the deeper confessions for more romantic circumstances. “I know.” She cups Shauna’s cheek in her hand, caressing it affectionately. “Me too. Since forever. It just took a little while for me to catch up.”
Shauna smiles shyly, hands sliding up Jackie’s back and then gently pulling her down. “Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh. Dummy.”
The victory tastes sweet, Jackie thinks. But Shauna tastes sweeter.
-
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-
“Okay, what the hell is this shit in your journal, Shauna? ‘Jackie won’t stop talking about kissing me. I think she just enjoys torturing me. She’s always reminding me that I can never have her the way that I want her.’ And then there’s, like, ten more pages of rambling about—“
“Oh. Um. …Oops?”