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That backstabbing motherfucker had finally gotten what it deserved.
It had been all too satisfying to pull its head up with a bulky fist and hear the cords in its neck snap one by one.
Its gurgly little vocal cord wiggled in the air, screeching with whatever consciousness the mutilated virtue had left.
It stopped once he clamped his mouth onto the organ. He swallowed the whole melon of a brain and relished the feeling of having its mind— its essence— slide down his esophagus and into his stomach to live an existence of repeated death.
Ken spat out the spinal cord like a sunflower seed, then set the place aflame. No witnesses. No evidence.
The giant egg that hung above him in the middle of the giant laboratory gave him reminds of the angel egg his daughter had hatched from. He shook his head and continued on his main quest; to help his aforementioned daughter.
Ken came to wonder how he had got to this place and why Temperance had always pissed him off. At least he’ll have it for safe-keeping, until he inevitably cements it and throws it down deep into the sea where it’ll reside for the rest of eternity.
It was so hard to believe that he once tolerated this so-called virtue of Temperance.
———
Temperance had taught him all he knew about caring for a human child.
His child, Melancholy Hill.
Ken the Butcher had already taken her and had planned on raising her. She was small, defenseless, in tact, and had the potential for a bright and happy future. But there was no way in hell she would survive as a human in a post-apocalyptic wasteland filled with zombie-folk who never die. Unless he got some advice.
He tried to find as many books as he could, but they only scratched the surface and didn’t offer any actual substance when it came to how humans lived. He just read a bunch of spooky myths and religious enigmas.
It pained him, but he had to get some advice from the virtue of Temperance. It was the only doctor or physician he knew.
With a little visit to a certain sect, he found Temperance in its ‘lab’ doing some real shady shit with syringes and stuff.
After an abduction and a bargain, Temperance agreed to help Ken with his ordeal. It had access to the ancient archives, after all.
Ken the Butcher knew very well of the other virtues. They were rotlings who ate the flesh of guardian angels and somehow became renowned. However, he had only met one or two others besides from Temperance.
There was Diligence, a terrifying but underwhelming guard who couldn’t go out without a fight; a significantly small fight. One thing that stunned Ken about Diligence was its waist. It was crazy how small Diligence’s waist is. You would think that it’d be dangerous to walk around like that, knowing very well someone could come over and kick your stomach in half as you would a horsetail. It also could have been made from some high duty material, which would be a given.
Ken began to wonder if Temperance had a similar build; a freakishly needle thin waist beneath that lab coat that he could easily just- snap.
Before his imagination could exceed any further in regards to Temperance’s anatomy, he heard his telephone ring. He grabbed the handle and brought the speaker up to his face.
“Hello?”
A low, groggy, nasally voice slithered into his ear. “Mud here. Heyyy, I got your voicemail and uh, yeah, that sounds good. Not like I have many other options, so thanks for taking me in.”
Ken beamed. “Of course, anything for my little brother!”
Mud verbally cringed. “Yyyuck. Lay off from the familial endearments, would ya? Well, I’ll see ya when I get there.”
“Ummm, before you hang up, I just want to let you know that there’s going to be… a baby.” Ken warned, huddling up close to the phone.
A pause made the butcher quite nervous.
“—An angel chick?” His brother asked. He probably thought Ken had gotten a pet for himself, which was pretty odd. Ken hated animals in his restaurant, despite his entire restaurant being a literal zombified whale.
“Uh, no.”
“Like a ROTLING baby?”
Ken nodded, even though Mud couldn’t see him. “You could say that.”
“Those aren’t even a thing! Who the hell did you knock up to get one of those?” Mud laughed up a storm into his phone.
The butcher cringed. “I’ll explain it later.”
“God, you better explain it once I’m over.”
“Will do.” Ken groaned, before saying a final ‘bye’ and hanging up.
This had to work out somehow.
———
Temperance gave him a 101 course on human nature. Ken sat on a chair in the middle of the laboratory.
The doctor before him began to explain that “Humans are mortal. They can die.”
The butcher growled. “I got the whole memo.”
“They can die from blood loss, excerebration; or in other words; removal of the brain, and they can die from sickness. They can also die from cancer, so make sure she wears plenty of sunscreen in intense sunlight, as she can easily get cancer from UV rays.”
“Pssshh yeah sure, as if we have ‘intense sunlight’ here. Also, how much blood kills ‘em?”
Temperance fiddled with its measuring cups and glasses. It picked up a giant pitcher and poured water into two of the large glasses.
“Around 50%, so… roughly two liters.”
It then poured all of the water from one glass and some of the water from the other back into the pitcher. “But that isn’t to say they won’t have plenty of health complications if they lose 15%, which would be around two pints.”
“What counts as a ‘health complication’?”
“Dizziness, fatigue, lower performance levels, depression, weakness, and susceptibility to fatality.”
“Yeesh.”
“So… it would be best to avoid that.”
Temperance’s head raised up.
“Might I add, humans do not easily regenerate as well as we do. In fact, they don’t regenerate at all. They can only heal small cuts and scrapes by themselves. More gruesome injuries can only be solved with swift medical aid. They can accept limb or organ donors, but it is more tricky since they have immune systems that’ll likely reject any replacement body part they receive.”
“Are humans constantly miserable or somethin’?”
Temperance thought about answering the question but it just decided to continue its dialogue. “-Just make sure she doesn’t get hurt. Although, it might be reassuring to know she isn’t composed of rotting flesh, so she’ll certainly be stronger than most rotling folk.”
“Alright. Good to know.”
“But no matter what happens, don’t, and I mean never tell anyone about who she really is.”
“I won’t. Never in a million years.”
“She’ll live for less than a million.”
…
“What?”
———
Before the meet-up, the butcher made sure to paint his adopted child’s face a pale green so that no one who managed to see her would get suspicious. Eventually, he would just tattoo her. He’s sure he’d figure out how to do it.
He hushed the kid with a binky and laid a ripped piece of duvet on top of her before exiting the back room.
He was delighted to see his brother at the Whale Belly Butcher Shop and they sipped whiskey at a small table. They shared with each other the latest gossip. The melted-faced Mud mentioned how Timmy ran a bulldozer into the side of a massage shop a few blocks away. Meanwhile, Ken strongly debated whether he should tell Mud that the kid was a human. Maybe someday. Perhaps Mud and the baby could bond for a couple of years and when the time comes, Mud won’t kill her upon finding out. No, he would still be pissed though.
Still, the butcher had to do something, so Ken ushered his brother into the back rooms of the restaurant. They walked over to a messily made crib in a laundery hamper with a small child lying inside it. The melted-faced man could hardly believe it.
Ken scrambled for an excuse.
“I had her with one of the waitresses,” Ken lied.
“No fucking way.” Mud glared at him.
“No cussing in front of the child. And yes, I did.”
“Who?!”
Ken leaned in close so that no one could hear them; despite the fact there wasn’t anyone in the room to begin with. “Chrissie.”
“NO,” Mud spat.
“Too bad we’ll have to cement her. Word is, my face was on a bounty— one that she had in her cabinet. Well, not word, really, since I’d seen it. I was in her house.” Ken inwardly apologized to Chrissie for selling her out just to come up with a clever excuse as to why he had a ‘rotling’ baby.
His brother was totally dumbfounded. Instead of asking how much Ken’s bounty was, he asked a more relevant question like “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”
Ken the Butcher shrugged then hunched his shoulders threateningly. “Hey, I’m telling you now. I won’t get into any further detail about it.”
“Fair enough. It ain’t like I want to know, anyways.” Mud dismissed…
…before adding quietly,
“Lucky guy.”
———
The doctor mentored the butcher for two years at that point. Mud didn’t suspect a thing about the child being a human. Ken greatly appreciated the newfound knowledge based on the fact his baby seemed to be in good shape.
He and Mud landed on the name ‘Melancholy Hill’ for her, which was based off of Mud’s favorite song of the same name, ‘Melancholy Hill’. They shortened it down to ‘Mel’, because there was no way in hell they’d call her ‘Melancholy’ 24/7, especially when they live life on the edge as a crime family and it would take a long time to warn Mel of possible danger. ‘Mel’ was a nice way to sum it up.
Ken had to eventually introduce Mud to Temperance. At first sight of the virtue, he groaned and shook hands with it. He then whispered to Ken why it’s there and if they really can trust this guy. Ken explained that it would be the ‘nanny’ and it was ‘trustable’. Mud grew accustomed to Temperance’s presence after some time.
Temperance also replaced their laundry-hamper crib with an authentic one. Good call.
In the midst of it all, the butcher found out a little more about Temperance too. Temperance liked baseball. It made sense for the wrong reasons though, since Ken noted that Temperance’s scalp was smooth, round, and white just like one.
Ken found out about this hobby when Temperance picked up the peculiar object from their tipped over trash can. The virtue explained that it used to be a very popular human sport. In its studies, Temp’ tried it out and found that it really liked the mechanisms of baseball.
Ken offered to play with Temperance, but Temperance rejected, saying that baseball needed at least 8 or 9 players to have an actual game. The virtue thanked him for the offer, though.
One thing that carried even after that conversation was Temperance’s newly coined nickname: Baseball.
“Hey, baseball.”
“Yo, baseball, my man! Thank you for all the good advice today.”
Mud also began to use it.
“Fuckin’ baseball lookin’ ass shit.”
While it greatly annoyed the virtue, it also found it endearing. It had been a long time since Temperance had a nickname other than the ones given to it by the fellow virtues.
Temperance also went to the Whale Belly Butcher Shop more often. It proved to be quite advantageous when it came to sales, Ken noticed. A virtue? At their restaurant? Word easily spread across the populace like a wildfire and they collected many more customers. The doctor seemed to be quite unnerved by the attention though, so it began to wear a cloak whenever it entered the perimeter so that no one would recognize it and begin asking it for autographs. Temperance would spend most of its time in the worker’s space or in the back room.
…
Ken was cooing at Mel, who then swatted his finger and continued crying. Ken immediately became defensive when he heard the door crack open. It was just Temperance. The butcher relaxed and allowed the virtue to approach the crib and pick her up. The tiny baby’s eyes widened and she looked to be a lot more content, laughing and giggling as she reached up at Temperance’s pointy chin.
“I think she missed you.” Ken puffed, amused.
Temperance looked down at the baby’s face with mixed emotion. Pride, sadness, joy, and guilt.
The butcher watched the virtue with a soft frown. He had realized how much more domestic things have become between them. Temperance had its own job, but still spared some time to visit them. Ken tolerated the virtue’s presence… and even found it extremely pleasant. Things got a little lonely, even with all his employees and his brother around. Temperance had its own sense of humor, despite how nonchalant and unbothered it may have seemed upon first appearances.
But Temperance was in nature, very mysterious. Ken asked it if it wanted to go out with him for a drink, but it rejected. “I don’t want to over-indulge.”
“Uhhh, do you want to go out for… tea, instead?”
The virtue brightened up, despite not having a face. “That would be lovely.”
Nailed it. The coffin would be buried later.
They went to someplace other than the butcher house. There was a cafe a few blocks away. They saw the massage shop on the way and it looked like a bulldozer did, in fact, crash into it.
The cashier yelled upon first sight of the two. They dropped a glass, which broke upon hitting the ground. They hurriedly grabbed two new ones and swirled a wipe within one of them, smiling nervously as they approached.
“I’ll take a Dragonwell Green Tea.” The virtue said, then began searching its pockets for some scarabs.
Ken brushed his hand against Temperance’s arm to stop it. He then hit his chest multiple times, prompting himself to cough up a couple of coins. He slid the scarabs onto the table by the cash register. “No worries about it, sweetheart. I’ll take an Oolong.”
“What kind?” The cashier asked, writing everything down quickly on a notepad. Temperance was taken off guard at the prospect of being called ‘sweetheart’.
“Uhhh…” Ken squinted at the menu above his head, “the Iron Goddess of Mercy, please.”
“Sure thing! HAHAHAHA.” They were soon fixed with two cups of tea.
The butcher and the doctor took their party over to one of the free tables. They engaged in some conservation.
“So, why did you want to come here today, with me?” Temperance pushed down its mask and carefully tipped some tea into its line of a mouth.
“I dunno. Was bored.” Ken tapped his cup.
Temperance was a little flattered that Ken chose it specifically to go somewhere for no particular reason when he could have taken anyone else. Temperance considered itself a bit of a buzzkill, so it was confused as to why Ken wanted to hang out with someone like it. Perhaps there was actually a reason the butcher wasn’t telling it. He might need Temperance for something.
“So, baseball, what do you do… in your free time?”
Temperance huffed, not wanting to be too exaggerative, since it wanted to stay true to its name.
“Experimentation. On lab specimens.”
“What kind of experimentation?”
“Uh… that’s classified.”
“Mmm, gotcha.”
It would be really hard to learn just a little more about Temperance.
————
A year later, Ken’s little baby Mel finally took her first steps. Mud’s mind was blown at the spectacle, considering Mel more of a spectator until that point. “Oh, shit’s about to go down.”
They would have to baby-proof everything.
Ken brought the news to Temperance the next time it visited and it seemed genuinely excited. Mel really was growing and learning. She toddled over to the virtue, stumbling along the way, and it scooped her up and tossed her into the air briefly as she fell back into his arms. “How wonderful!”
Temperance rocked her in his embrace and spoke in a soft, playful tone.
“Do you have any idea how proud I am of you?”
It poked a finger at Mel’s tiny fist.
“I am very proud, yes I am!”
Ken hummed and rested his head on his palm, infatuatedly watching Temperance babbling to Mel.
They prepared some baby food and put Mel on a baby chair that Ken stole from some junk yard. She would refuse, so Ken would say, “you’re eating brains… rahhhhh.”
Mel found it pretty funny, too distracted by the familiar words to comprehend that she was eating food. That’s it for dinner, they supposed.
Ken and Temperance put her in her crib, but she was still incredibly active. Mel grabbed the bars of her small prison cell, jumping up and down either out of boredom or to get picked up. She did this for quite some time so Temperance complied to her request and rocked Mel in its arms, sighing in relief once she finally went to sleep. Ken stalked over to them. He locked one arm around Temperance’s waist and the hand on his opposite arm slid over the back of Temperance’s palm to gently grasp it.
Temperance’s shoulders hitched when Ken’s head tilted against its. After the waning surprise, Temperance relaxed. The virtue gradually, slowly, pressed into his touch as if hoping he wouldn’t notice.
“Ken?”
The butcher’s eyes slammed their doors wide open and he drifted his hands slowly away from Temperance’s figure— resting on its hips— and then disconnecting entirely. Ken coughed and tried to excuse himself foolishly,
“Sorry. Got a little sentimental there.”
A small chuckle slipped from Temperance’s lips. It placed baby Mel back into the high chair carefully. It turned around, hands on its arms to look back at Ken.
Ken held up a thumb and pointed back to the hallway, jerking his chin up. Temperance nodded and they walked together, all the way to the meat freezer.
They closed the door and were effectively alone.
“Can I thank you? For all your hard work?” Ken asked, words coming out of his mouth before he could stop them.
The doctor responded with “It isn’t necessary by any means, but go ahead.”
Ken stepped forward and pushed Temperance’s medical mask down around its sharp chin. The doctor’s mouth was just a hollow, fixed, jagged line.
The fans in its interior began to whirr. The rotling butcher chuckled and tilted the doctor’s head up.
Temperance gulped, hands grasping tightly onto the strap of Ken’s apron. “Are you planning to kiss me?”
“Something like that,” Ken grumbled softly, “Would that… be an acceptable token of gratitude?”
Temperance was about to indulge before it refrained itself.
“I cannot engage in such affections with a rotling.” Temperance’s hand glided across Ken’s apron, sliding down the curve of his pudge.
Ken almost burst a blood vessel; not at the rejection, but at the reasoning and the teasing. “You’re a rotling too, y’know. Just dressed up in fancy, metal armor and a large ego.”
“You would know everything about a large ego, wouldn’t you?” Temperance quipped back.
“Oh, shut up.” Ken smiled.
Temperance thought things over before making a risky decision. “Make me, Ken.”
The air grew thin, until it was just them two breathing; the icy vent noises ignored. It was quite cold in here. The virtue further elaborated with, “Shut me up.”
Taking that as an initiator, Ken leaned forward and pressed his lips against the cold, smooth ones of his cyborg counterpart. His mouth parted with a wet ‘plap’ and they both looked away, quite flustered by the occurrence.
Ken spluttered, trying to look for the right words. “Goodnight. Erm…
… I can tuck her in.”
The butcher coughed and left the room, leaving Temperance to register what had just happened.
The virtue soon trailed behind him. Ken gently picked Mel up from the high chair and placed her in her crib. His big, stubby fingers picked up the thin sheet and placed it over her small figure. His smile stretched ear to ear due to his impossibly large mouth, while his eyes shimmered under the flickering light.
Temperance walked in after him and stood beside the butcher, still looking quite awestruck. They glanced at each other awkwardly and huffed in amusement.
The doctor fully chortled and said, “I really do envy you, Ken.”
Ken felt warmth in his gut. “Envy me? You’re a Virtue Corp.”
Temperance laughed again. It would have made Ken feel embarrassed or even angry if he didn’t know anything more about Temperance’s person besides the fact it was a virtue. They looked upon Ken’s…
… Well, technically their child, Melancholy Hill…
…with an unsurpassable contentment. Ken had to give credit where it was due and Temperance had been one of the most prominent parental figures in Mel’s life so far. Even when Ken was a nasty rotling and Temperance was a well-esteemed virtue corp, neither of them seemed to truly mind and doted to hang around each other even when Temperance was not necessarily needed anymore. They had spent enough time together that the cyborg must have gotten used to the uncultured stench of the butcher shop.
For once in quite a long time, Ken genuinely felt calm. His passion that he would usually pour into his anger flourished into something more adjacent to confidence— confidence in the future.
The butcher murmured to the doctor beside him, “There is absolutely nothing that can ruin this, baseball.”
—————
Yet, something did end up ruining it.