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it doesn't really hit max, until she's shoving a key into the door, that her life has done a full circle. after everything, she's back on the road with chloe. from the last time they did this, to now, so much has happened. yet here they are, together again, sharing a motel room.
max wishes she was being dramatic, but she swore she was going to die when chloe broke up with her. it made sense, and was probably the best thing to do at the time. but fuck, she really couldn't breathe.
all max can see in her mind when she gets the door open is the letter chloe sent her back then. though the layout of the room is different to the ones they visited before, it still manages to remind her of all those they stayed in. she was so happy to be travelling around with chloe. then they argued, and fought, until it all suddenly stopped.
"hey, you gonna stand there all night, max?" chloe's voice cuts through her thoughts, the tip of her boot digging into max's calf. "it's getting cold. move it, hippie."
max tries a smile, it's probably not too convincing. thankfully, chloe's too busy checking out the room for herself to see. "sorry, just— this is nice. i wanted to take it in."
it's really not nice, actually. the room looks as cheap as it is, and smells of cigarette smoke that a tacky air freshener tries (and fails) to hide. for a girl who loves to take pictures of things she likes, max is awfully still right now. her camera will stay put in her bag.
a scoff is quickly followed by a hand on her wrist, lightly dragging her inside. the door clicks shut behind her, chloe laughing to herself as she drops her duffel bag onto the floor and collapses onto the bed.
"you think this is nice? well, i guess i've seen worse. it's not as good as the tour bus, though."
"i don't think any motel can compete with the tour bus, chloe." max mumbles, joining her.
there's nothing interesting on the ceiling, no patterns etched into it's design or whatever. just plain plaster that, if anything, has a few cracks running through it. and what looks to be mold in the corner.
max stares up at it anyway, following each line with her eyes and trying to make shapes out of the black splotches.
she lies there doing that, until a hand finds hers at her side.
turning her head, she finds chloe already looking at her, curiosity bleeding from her eyes. her lips part like she's about to say something. and though max really should let her say whatever it is, for some reason, dread fills her and she'd rather not.
"is… the band okay?" she quickly rushes before chloe can get a word out, gluing her gaze back on the ceiling where chloe can't dissect her with her eyes. "hopefully their beds are a lot comfier than this one."
chloe's fingers slip between hers, squeezing. "they better be, otherwise i paid a fuck ton of money for nothing. why, of all days, did that stupid bus choose today to break down? ugh, fuck."
max feels herself smile, despite everything. "you're an amazing manager, chloe. they're lucky to have you."
"yeah?" chloe asks, her smirk loud in her voice. "go and tell that to them. ungrateful little shits."
back when they first hit the road all those years ago, chloe obviously wasn't a band manager like she is now. rather than laying here, talking about chloe's band, they must have had something else to talk about. for the life of her, max can't remember what. she can't seem to remember much about that time at all.
the clearest memory she can find in her head is simply wanting to be by chloe's side. after sacrificing their entire hometown to save her, that was truly her main priority. now is no different, except they're much older. arcadia bay is back in one piece, but this time it's the fire that hangs behind them.
chloe died in that fire, like she did in the bathroom. max saved her again, like she did then.
fate and time have always fucked with max, they're so stubborn in wanting to ruin her life. so, if last time is anything to go off, then they're approaching the part where… will max get her heart broken again soon?
she remembers almost feeling at peace last time, so very nearly content with her tough decision...
only for it to all go to shit.
please, she begs the universe wholeheartedly, don't do this to me again.
groaning, max's hands fly to her face, rubbing as if that'll help disintegrate her brain and shut it off. she doesn't even realise she reacted to her thoughts out loud until chloe chases after her hand and holds it again.
"what's up?" she frowns, "you're acting weird."
max sighs. "i know, i'm sorry. just a little tired, i guess."
in her defence, it's not a lie. she is exhausted, to be honest. even though going around with chloe and her band is one of the coolest and funnest things she's ever done, the travelling takes a toll on her, too. just as it does everyone else.
but, no matter how tired she is, she knows she won't sleep well here tonight. not when her head is so damn loud.
maybe, she needs to get drunk. that'll calm it down.
tossing onto her side, max faces chloe with determination, looking her in the eye properly for the first time this evening. while she originally plans to ask if chloe has a secret stash of alcohol they could dig at anywhere, she doesn't end up making it to the part where she actually asks, tongue dying the second they meet eyes.
overwhelmed in a matter of seconds, max suddenly feels her heart ache. being able to see chloe this close, in this day and age, still feels like some sick dream. she can't help but let her mouth fall open in awe, her hand reaching out to chloe's cheek.
chloe blinks, then smiles. so fucking pretty.
"hey, chloe? i..." max runs her thumb along chloe's cheekbone, trying to focus on how she can literally feel chloe's skin underneath her fingertips. as she does, the words she says leave on their own. "i'm so happy to be here with you. i don't ever want this to end."
ah, this again. the amount of times she has said something similar to chloe can't even be counted on two hands anymore. she knows how often she admits to treasuring her and gets all mushy like this. some part of her believes that if she says it enough, it'll become engraved in fate. things won't stop, change or go away completely if she's consistent. everything will stay nice and peaceful, just like it is now.
she must sound like a broken record, chloe might be getting sick of her. but even if it puts her at risk of being the world's most pathetic girlfriend ever, max will continue to say it over and over and over.
"i love you."
the smile on chloe's face grows, then falters a little as it softens. her grip on max's hand tightens, eyes becoming gentle. "i… i love you too, max. did... did something happen?"
"no! not at all, it's just…" max doesn't know how to explain it. she doesn't know if she should even bring it up and remind chloe that they've been here before, and it went so wrong.
would admitting that she's terrified of history repeating itself ruin everything they've built over the past few months? the last thing she wants is for chloe to think she's doubting her.
instead of trying to make it make sense, max opts for shuffling closer instead, pressing her face into chloe's neck and melting there. she takes a deep breath when arms follow after her, immediately wrapping around her shoulders and holding her tight. chloe's such a good hugger.
her jacket smells heavily of cigarette smoke, so much that it should make max grimace in disgust. but max has grown to be fond of this disgusting smell, because when she smells it, it's mostly means that chloe's nearby. it can't be good to inhale it this deeply, but she does it anyway. who cares anymore?
beside her ear, chloe's voice is just as comforting. "you know you can tell me anything, right? let's figure it out together."
so desperately, max wants to cave. whenever chloe says anything, it's usually so easy to take her word for it and follow her lead. right now though, probably because she's the very thing max is worried about, it's a little more difficult for her words to sink in.
another thing to max's list of what she feels guilty about.
sighing heavily, she squeezes her eyes shut. trying to keep it very simple, she says, "what if… something happens again?"
"what?" chloe pulls back, giving her a look. "did you rewind? what happened?"
"no— nothing!" max pauses for a second, then feels her shoulders deflate. so much for keeping it to herself. "i'm just worried that after this, you'll get too busy. or, i'll get too busy, and we'll have to separate again. or just something will tear us apart. i… i don't think i can do that agaib, chloe, i—"
the more she says, the stupider it sounds, and the less she wants to keep talking. it doesn't help that chloe looks just as confused as she feels, staring at her with fast blinks that clearly mean she can't keep up with the rambling. concern eventually coats her face entirely, and that's when max decides she's going to curl into a ball.
at the same time she sits up to do so, chloe follows, her hand finding max's back to rub small circles into it. "woah— hey, i'm not going anywhere. where's this coming from?"
"i know, i'm sorry." max feels her throat tighten. she really does know, but her brain is trying to convince her otherwise. "i don't know, i guess i'm just… thinking too much."
the mattress dips more beside her, chloe scooting closer so that she sit by her side. an arm wraps around her back, fingers resting by her hip. then, in a blink, max is leaning all her weight into chloe. there's a moment of silence long enough for max to convince herself she's ruined everything, but it ends abruptly with a kiss to her head.
looking up, she finds chloe smiling. a bit sadly, but smiling nonetheless. whatever the hell that means.
"max caulfield." chloe says, reaching out. when max's hand lands in hers, she squeezes it gently. "these past few months have been a dream. i'm doing what i love, with you by my side. do you know how many times i've dreamt of this?"
around them, everything seems to disappear. chloe can do that. every time she opens her mouth, nothing else exists to max anymore.
"i still feel like i don't deserve to be able to have you like this, with me. but, you've given me yet another chance to be better and i'm not going to let that go to waste. i might not be able to match the things you've done to keep my ass safe, but i can promise i'll always be here with you."
feeling tears sting in her eyes, max ducks her head. she might be an idiot.
but of course, chloe is right there before she can, catching her chin and lifting it so she can't hide away. "things have gotten better. it's all over now. we're good, right?"
maybe, it's because they're older now. or maybe more at peace with all the crazy shit that's happened in their lives. whatever the reason, they're way more mature than before and their relationship is definitely stronger than it was.
things were just too messy then, what happened to arcadia bay weighing on them in completely different ways. chloe was grieving the loss of her mom, who max decided to sacrifice. max had to live knowing that's a choice she made, too.
but everything's okay now. arcadia bay and everyone in it is now alive and well. chloe is this age, talking daily to joyce, who's also alive, too. max managed to at least save the people that mattered to her, and feels okay knowing she did everything she could. there's nothing that drives a wall between them anymore.
they really are good. max's heart feels so full. she's nodding, sniffling up the last of her sorrows.
"then trust me on this." chloe grins, her thumb wiping at the few tears that somehow managed to escape. "for as long as i can help it, i'll never leave you. and when i can't help it, i know you'll have my back. you always do, max."
obviously, she will.
when they first reunited, max wasted time waiting for the perfect moment. she was desperate for each of their kisses to be magical and romantic. since then, she's learnt waiting around only delays what's going to be amazing regardless of the moment.
so, even though her throat hurts, and they're sitting on a shitty motel bed that might as well be a rock, she leans forward and presses her lips into chloe's.
and as she'd hoped, it's perfect. of course it fucking is. she's kissing chloe price.
chloe hums against her mouth, smiling as she pulls her closer. max can't help but reach up and hold her face, the smile quickly contagious. softly and slowly, chloe kisses her, and she feels her thoughts melt one by one. it all fizzles out into warm fuzz, until there's not one single worry left.
by the time they pull apart, max's head is blissfully quiet. chloe's hands linger at her waist, their foreheads pressed together. now, max can hear things, chloe's breathing and her own. the world outside the motel room, some footsteps and chatter. it's nice to hear something else.
"i'm so sorry." she whispers sheepishly, "i didn't mean to freak out."
chloe shakes her head, taking her hand and pressing it into her cheek. "it's all good! it's just me."
the smile she gives is so pretty, max might lose her mind again. yet this time, it would be in a good way. that's exactly what she needs right now. with that, she finally feels confident that she'll sleep tonight, as good as you can in these conditions.
after they've changed out of the clothes they've been wearing all day, they climb under the scratchy covers and get settled in bed. chloe immediately puts an arm out before max can lay down, letting her curl up at her side and hugging her close when she does.
giggling, max accepts her fate, and lets herself be smothered. soon enough they're both blinking heavily, ready to go to sleep.
before max can close her eyes, though, a sleepy kiss lands on her forehead. it makes her chest flutter, heart happy, and for some reason it feels familiar.
all of a sudden, memories flood back. max can remember what it was like back then. all the moments in between the arguments push their way to the front of her brain again. falling asleep cuddled up like that, exhausted after driving around together all day. every time they crashed at motels, wherever they were, they ended up exactly like this.
she also remembers wishing they'll do this forever. she'd watch chloe sleep peacefully, and think how amazing it would be to still be waking up next to her in ten years time.
now it is ten years later, and she will be waking up next to chloe. she'll get her long awaited answer tomorrow morning.
it really seems like nothing can get in between them. if it tries, it'll only succeed for a short matter of time before it's beaten. maybe fate isn't so mean to max, she thinks. fate seems to want chloe around as much as she does.
from the last time they did this, to now, so much has happened. yet here they are, together again, sharing a motel room. tonight, max falls asleep thinking that she'd love to be here in another ten years, waking up to the love of her life.