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Peter groaned and slumped over his computer at the kitchen island.
“Mr. Parker, are you alright?”
Peter looked up to find Vision floating over to him.
“Woah,” he breathed, eyes wide. He hadn’t interacted much with Vision yet, since he normally stayed in his room or with Wanda. “You’re The Vision!”
“That I am.” Vision smirked slightly, amused by the boy’s excitement. “Do you need help, Mr. Parker?”
“Oh no, it’s okay, I wouldn’t want to bother you, Mr. Vision.” Peter was closing his laptop, but Vision caught sight of the coding on the screen.
“Is it an issue of coding? I am quite proficient in that area given my… personal experience.”
Peter hesitated, Vision watching the mental debate in his eyes, before opening the laptop back up.
“Ok, but you can’t tell Mr. Stark, okay?”
“Why?”
“Because it’s a prank. And telling Mr. Stark would ruin the prank.”
“And this… prank? It is not going to put anyone in danger of being physically or emotionally hurt?”
Peter grinned up at him. “Nope!”
“Then I see no reason to inform Mr. Stark.”
Peter scooted over on the bench so Vision could sit down, opening his laptop again to show what they both knew was Friday’s programming.
“Okay, so! I managed to access Friday through Karen which I hacked with Ned on a field trip. But Friday is older so she’s a little more complicated and I’m having trouble figuring out specifically how to do it because Tony also added a lot more protections against hackers. Kinda because of me. But whatever! Can you help me?”
Vision smiled at the boy, curious of his plans. “I will try my best, Mr. Parker. What are you intending?”
“I wanted to do a few things. First, I changed the coffee preset that Friday has so that his coffee will be made 5 minutes earlier than usual so it won’t be hot and also make it with more creamer and sugar, but only by a little bit so he’s just a little bit thrown off. Then I changed the elevator to go 2 seconds per floor slower. Then I had Friday put a screen over the window so it looks like the normal view but shifted 1 foot over. That all is part of the ‘break Mr. Stark slowly’ protocol, as I’ve deemed it. The finale, though, which will be implemented 2 weeks from now once he’s started to lose his mind because he doesn’t like little changes — I’ve done something like this before and it was great — I want to reprogram Friday to only take commands when Mr. Stark starts them with ‘help me Friday. You’re my only hope’ and I won’t tell him that so he’ll have to figure it out. I’ve almost figured out how to do that, but I also need to figure out how to add some safeguards to keep Tony from being able to fix it too fast. Do you know how to do that?”
Peter looked up, half expecting Vision to refuse or reprimand him or look at him like he’s crazy, but was pleased to see the synthezoid giving him a mischievous smile.
“I believe I can help with that, Mr. Parker. But may I ask, what is your motivation for this?”
“Mr. Stark banned Star Wars from movie nights because ‘I’ve already watched it 50 million times and I don’t need to see it again or I’m gonna rip my hair out’” he said, air quoting Tony’s argument and rolling his eyes. “So, naturally, I have to exact my revenge.”
“I believe that is an acceptable reason. I shall help you.”
Peter grinned as Vision pulled the laptop to him. It was an odd picture, a robot (well, not exactly, but close enough) typing on a computer, and it made Peter let out a slight giggle.
After a few minutes, Vision slid the laptop back over to Peter. “It is complete. And it is specifically for Tony, so she will respond to everyone else as usual.”
“Thank you Mr. Vision!” Peter grinned, hugging the synthezoid tightly.
It was odd, he had never been hugged before. Yet, this boy’s arms around him felt oddly comforting, bringing him joy. “It was no problem, Mr. Parker. I am happy to have helped.”
“This is going to be awesome!”
“I concur.”
*****
“Friday! Friday! Why won’t you fucking respond!”
Peter, who was sitting at the kitchen island doing homework, as per usual, looked up to see Tony storm into the kitchen. Vision, Wanda, and Clint, who were on the couch watching Friends, also looked up, Vision sharing an amused glance with Peter while Wanda and Clint looked confused.
“What’s up, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked, trying — and failing — to hold back a grin.
“I swear to god something is up! I don’t know what but I’m going insane. My coffee has been off lately, the elevator feels like it takes forever now, the view from the windows isn’t quite right which is literally impossible because I know the tower didn’t just suddenly rotate but I swear everytime I look up to where a certain building should be, it’s just a little to the left. Am I having a stroke, Peter? Has your old man finally lost it? Because now Friday is ignoring me! I can’t figure out why!”
“Friday is ignoring you?” he asked innocently, feigning confusion.
“Yes! She won’t respond! And I can’t see anything wrong with her code!” Tony turned to look at the ceiling, missing the quick wink Vision sent Peter, and his responding grin. “Friday! Friday what are you doing!” he yelled, exasperated.
“Friday?” Peter called, getting an immediate response from the AI. “Yes, Mr. Parker? Do you need anything?”
“Hm, nothing Fri, thanks.” He turned back to Tony. “That’s odd. She’s working fine for me. What about you, Mr. Vision?”
“Friday?” Vision asked, smiling when he also received a response. “Yes, Vision? Do you need anything?”
“I’m alright, thank you Friday” he responded, holding back a smirk at the glee shining in Peter’s eyes.
“What the hell is going on! Why won’t she respond?” Tony cried, throwing his hands up in frustration.
“Maybe she wants you to say a specific thing?” Peter suggested ‘helpfully’.
“Like what?”
“I don’t know. Maybe try references? You do program stuff with a lot of references.” Peter shrugged. Wanda and Clint still looked perplexed, so while Tony stared at the ceiling yelling out references — because apparently he’d gotten to the point of sanity where he just automatically took his scheming kid’s suggestion without question — Peter turned to Clint, subtly waving for his attention.
What did you do?
Peter grinned the shit-eating grin that mirrored one Tony often wore. The two of us he signed, gesturing to Vision and himself, hacked Friday. He has to say a Star Wars quote for her to talk.
At that, Clint had to cover his mouth to hold back his laugh, elbowing Wanda to whisper in her ear, which led to her ducking down on the couch to hide her laugh.
“What do you want, Friday? Please! Just answer me! I need you! Help me, Friday! You’re my only hope!”
“Yes, Boss?”
“What the fu-” Tony paused, eyes narrowing. “Friday?” No response. “Help me, Friday. You’re my only hope.” Tony ground out, gritting his teeth.
“Yes, Boss?”
Tony slowly turned on his heels to face Peter, who was still trying to maintain his innocent-bambi-eyes despite the wide grin working its way over his face.
“Peter?”
“Yes, Mr. Stark?” he chimed, blinking up at the man.
“Did you do this?”
“I certainly have no idea what you’re talking about, Mr. Stark, sir.”
“Mhm, yeah, sure. Now the truth?”
“It was not Mr. Parker that did it, Mr. Stark.” Vision chimed in, face serious as he fought off a smirk.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Like I said, this was not done by Mr. Parker.”
“Well then, enlighten me. Who did it?”
“I am not at liberty to say.”
“Friday?”
No response, again.
“Oh my god I’m not saying it again. Fess up, Parker.” Tony said, whirling back to the boy.
Peter burst out into a fit of giggles, triggering the same in Vision, Wanda, and Clint. Soon the room was filled with raucous laughter as they all lost it while Tony stared, looking deeply betrayed.
Once the laughter finally died down, Tony stepped over to Peter, pulling him into his side.
“You are so lucky that this is insanely impressive to pull off. You’re a smart kid, but I am so getting pay back as soon as I figure out how you did this and how to undo it.”
Tony ruffled his hair, earning an indignant squawk out of the boy, before pausing.
“Wait, Vision. Why did you say he didn’t do it? You don’t lie.”
“Well, it was a stretch of the truth, as some say. Peter did the coffee, elevator, and window adjustments-”
“YOU DID THAT?”
Vision ignored him. “And he made the majority of the adjustments for Friday’s new requirements to respond to you, but I finished the alterations to make it more difficult for you to identify and reverse it, so technically, Mr. Parker did not do that part.”
Tony looked between the boy under his arm and the synthezoid on the couch.
“You have got to stop hanging out with them, kid. You’re turning them against me. I can’t have the entirety of the Avengers conspiring against me.”
“No promises, Mr. Stark!”
Vision gave Peter a quick wink. Yeah, definitely no promises.