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Octavia came out of her room. Odd that she thought of it as her room. It wasn’t really. It was just a spare room at her dad’s new apartment. The apartment he shared with his weird dickhead boyfriend and his really cool daughter.
She had come to visit the night before. It had gotten fairly late, and she had gotten really tired. Her father meekly suggested that, if she wanted to, she could perhaps stay with them. Octavia decided there was no harm in simply spending the night.
The room had been decorated with her in mind. Everything from the paint on the walls, the color of the bedding, the glow-in-the-dark stickers, right down to a poster of her favorite band. Every detail was meant to please her.
When she stepped out of the room, she smelled pancakes. They smelled so delicious, and her stomach rumbled. In her actual home, food was seemingly sparse. “Young ladies must always watch their figure,” her uncle would spout. Rice cakes and salads were pretty much the norm. A single cup of black coffee or tea for breakfast was deemed plenty.
The smell of pancakes had become a distant memory. Following her nose, she wound up in the kitchen. There she was greeted by an extremely cheerful, “Good morning, Star Fire. Did you sleep well?”
Was he always so cheery in the mornings? “I guess,” she shrugged. “Is there coffee?”
“Oh yes.” Stolas nodded his head. “Blitz and Loona are both caffeine addicts," he giggled. “I believe there would be an actual riot if they couldn’t have at least one cup of coffee in the mornings.”
“Coffee makes the world go round,” came a gravely voice from the other room.
“If you say so, darling.” Stolas smiled at her. “Why don’t you have a seat, and I will bring you breakfast in just a moment.”
Her eyes fixed on to the door from which the voice had come. ‘Their’ door. Her father and the dickhead had gotten this place to be theirs, not as roommates, but as a couple. She wasn’t entirely sure how she felt about that.
Admittedly, he seemed to genuinely care for her father. She thought back to the previous night. They were watching a movie, and Blitz made sure Stolas was never without popcorn or soda. When her father had drifted off to sleep, Blitz carefully covered him with a blanket. At the end of the movie, he gently woke him and led him to their room. Her father did seemed happier than she had ever seen him.
He always had a soft smile on his face, his shoulders were relaxed, and he did not seem to walk with as much tension as he had in the palace. He laughed and sang cheerful songs. Even when she wasn’t in the room. Before rising for breakfast, she had heard him singing about cooking, of all things. A joyful tune to greet the day.
It would have been so easy to hate her father for ruining a marriage for a casual hook-up. However, this was obviously more than just that. He was brimming with love for the weirdo imp.
As if summoned by her thoughts, the imp came out of the bedroom just as her father came out of the kitchen. Stolas had started to lean down, in an obvious attempt to kiss Blitz, but stopped himself. He gave Octavia a strained, uncomfortable smile. Before greeting Blitz. “Good morning, darling. Sleep well?”
“Oh yeah. I slept real good.”
There was something in his tone that made Stolas blush and Octavia cringe. “Ewww,” was her only response.
“Well, emmm, I made breakfast.” Her father clearly wanted to move the conversation on to something different. He placed the two plates he brought down. One for Octavia and one for Blitz. He then returned to the kitchen to fetch two more plates.
Loona came dragging out of her own bedroom and was greeted by Stolas’ apparent signature greeting. “Good morning, Loona. Did you sleep well?” She only grunted in response. Apparently, that was a positive response as far as Stolas was concerned. “Excellent.”
As he sat down, Octavia looked at her plate. The pancakes were arranged into a smiley face. Banana eyes, and a bacon smile. “You know I am not five anymore, right?” She asked without looking up.
“Oh, well, I just figured a bit of whimsy…” Stolas trailed off, letting his head drop and then silently continuing to eat.
Loona leaned over and whispered. “He does this for all of us.” She slightly tilted her plate so Octavia could see the same pancake face. This one with the toast cut in half and added to the top as ears.
Octavia felt a twinge of guilt for her remark, but decided moving past it was most likely for the best. She picked up her own toast and took a bite before taking the small pitcher of syrup and drowning the face.
Her first bite of pancake was devilishly good. She still had a difficult time imagining her father cooking, but he was not half bad at it.
“I was thinking.” Stolas’ sudden words interrupting her thoughts. “Maybe, we could do a bit of shopping today? Get a few things for your room. If you like that is. I want you to feel at home here.”
“It isn’t home,” she grumbled under her breath.
“I- I just want you to feel comfortable. I thought maybe just a few things.” Stolas was obviously trying not to sound too pushy, but there was a definite desperation to his words. Octavia felt a bit bad. She decided there was no real harm in spending a few hours shopping. Maybe having a few things here, things that she had picked out for herself, would be a good idea. At the very least, a set of clothes and pajamas. Loona was very generous, but her t-shirt was definitely very big on Octavia.
“Yeah, that should be fine.” Via couldn’t help the smile that crossed her beak when she noticed her father's feathers fluff out ever so slightly with enthusiasm and excitement.
“You might need to let your mother know, of course. We wouldn’t want her to worry.”
“Yeah. I will call her after breakfast.” Octavia agreed. She knew her mother would not worry. Her mother most likely didn’t even notice she was gone for the night. Octavia would go days without seeing her mother, and that was fine. She loved her mother, but her uncle was always there.
She did not love her uncle. Her uncle was unbelievably arrogant and pretentious. He treated the staff worse than her mother did. He always spoke badly about her father and treated her like some helpless infant. He was also very condescending to her mother. Octavia was pretty sure that her uncle thought everyone was beneath him.
After she ate her breakfast, admittedly much faster than she would have originally thought. She went into her room and sent her mother a text. “Gone out with a friend.” It wasn't a lie exactly. Loona was a friend for sure. It was simply an omission. ‘A lie by omission is still a lie, ’ her father's voice said in her head. She shrugged it off. If her mother knew she was spending time with her father, it would not be good. This was the best way.
They had decided to go to Avaricious Mall. It was one of the nicer malls in Pride. Stolas had led them into the first clothing store they had come across, and everyone was absently going through the racks.
“Oh, darling, look at this. This is simply adorable.” Stolas declared, holding up a bright pink dress with frilly sleeves.
“It looks like it is for a three-year-old, Dad.” Octavia rolled her eyes. Her father had no taste when it came to clothes.
He looked at the garment before placing it back on the rack and, within a few moments, pulled out another pink dress. Granted, this one was without frilly sleeves, but it was just as hideous.
“Dad. Do you seriously think I would wear that?” Octavia was trying to decipher if this was all supposed to be a joke or if her father truly thought this was what she liked.
Stolas put it back and continued to look, but with decidedly less enthusiasm than before. Loona shot Octavia a look, and she mouthed back, “What?”
Loona turned towards Stolas. “Maybe we should try a different store. I heard that Eternal Inferno is pretty good.” Octavia could have kissed Loona. Eternal Inferno was just the kind of store Octavia loved. They had all the best styles.
They walked into the store, and Stolas let out an “Oh my. This is a bit… different.”
The lights were dimmer, music was blasting through the speakers. It was a song by a band called ‘Momma Sucks’. Octavia had recently discovered them and found she really enjoyed this band almost as much as ‘ Fuck You Dad.”
Loona and Octavia both scavenged through the clothes racks, discovering many things. Stolas was looking slowly and found a shirt. Tentatively, he held it up. It was a band shirt. The band depicted was 'Fuck You Dad', his daughter's favorite band. He called Octavia to get her attention.
“I don’t wear band shirts.” She responded almost off-handedly. Stolas placed it back. The look of utter defeat was evident on his face.
“Hey, um, I need to go get something from Assassins R Us. Stolas, why don’t you come with me?” Blitz pipped up. He took Stolas’ hand and led the sad owl out of the store.
“So what’s up?” Loona asked suddenly, directly beside her. “You seem a bit hard on all of your dad’s choices. Don’t get me wrong, he has questionable taste. I mean, for fuck sake, he chose my dad. But… is there something else going on here?”
Octavia thought a moment before shrugging. “I just feel like he thinks if he makes me smiley face pancakes and buys me clothes, that somehow it will magically fix things. But it doesn’t. Things are fucked, right now.”
Loona put a hand on her shoulder. “Listen, I don’t know your dad as well as you do. But I will say this. I promise you, he doesn’t think these things fix anything. He knows there is no easy fix to any of this. He knows it will take a lot of work, and that is what he is doing. The work to get you guys back to a better place.
Octavia cast her head down as she went back to moving hangers around on the rack, not really looking at the items. She understood that there was truth to what Loona said. She had the sensation of a small pebble of guilt in her stomach. She tried pushing that feeling away. He was the one who brought all of this down on them after all. Guilt should not be hers to experience.
“Listen, I ain’t saying he didn’t fuck up. What I am saying is he could have just as easily written you off. I watched him break down when you cut him off completely. I watched him decorate a room he hoped you would like on the off chance that someday, you might forgive him. I am watching him walking a thin line between trying to make sure you feel welcome and know you have a place to go, and smothering you. He’s a dad. Dads aren’t perfect. But,” she put her hands on both of Octavia's shoulders and turned her so they were now facing each other. “This is important, so listen.” She crouched just enough to be eye level with Octavia. “He is trying.”
She went back to looking at clothes and added. “And personally, I think that is worth a lot.”
Octavia looked over at the rack that her father had just been standing at. She was trying to process everything Loona had just said, and she had to admit that Loona was right. Her dad was trying, and that did count for a lot. She couldn’t picture her mother trying, if the situation were reversed. She couldn’t help but feel her mother would have easily moved on as long as her title and status, along with the accompanying wealth, were still Stella’s.
Her father was trying even though the only thing he could hope to gain from it was her in his life. That definitely mattered. She slowly walked over to the rack and pulled out one last garment. “Let’s try on some clothes and then meet back up with them,” she suggested.
Blitz and Stolas were sitting in the food court. Blitz leaned in close. Stolas’ head hung low. Blitz held his hands as he was talking; he tried to make eye contact with Stolas, who seemed unwilling to raise his head. Blitz was clearly trying to cheer him up, and was having minimal success.
“Man, do they have rat-on-a-stick here?” Octavia asked. “I am famished.”
Stolas looked up at her, and Octavia had to fight back the smile that tried to creep across her face when she saw her father’s light up. “You- you- I didn’t think- you are wearing the band shirt.”
“Yeah,” she responded, offhandedly. “It’s actually pretty cool,” she looked up at her father and, in a much softer tone, said. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Loona, let’s go get some food, and maybe after we eat, we can all go to Stylish Occult. Dad, maybe you can help me pick out something for my room?”
She turned before he could answer. She figured he might appreciate a moment of privacy, as she had seen his eyes shimmering with unshed tears.
Yes, there was a lot to work through. But Loona was absolutely right. He was trying.