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1. Ahoy, Sailor by lifeisabitch

   Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling  

   • Explicit
   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • M/M
   • Complete Work

   04 Apr 2026

   Tags

   • Graphic Depictions Of Violence
   • Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
   • Sirius Black
   • Remus Lupin
   • Dorcas Meadowes
   • Peter Pettigrew
   • Gilderoy Lockhart
   • Alternate Universe - Muggle
   • Vampire Sirius Black
   • Retail Worker Remus Lupin
   • Meet-Ugly
   • Chronic Pain
   • Remus Lupin Uses a Cane
   • Vampire James Potter
   • the horrors of working in customer service
   • remus' unending insecurities versus sirius' unending devotion
   • Oral Sex
   • Blood Drinking
   • Murder
   • It's Okay He Deserved It
   • Alley Sex
   • Spit as Lube
   • sorry remus
   • Bottom Remus Lupin
   • Top Sirius Black
   • No Aftercare
   • Happy Ending
   • Rough Sex
   • would you guys believe me if i said this is sweeter than the tags make it seem
   • I promise it is

   Summary

   Remus is working at a kitschy knock-off Genius Bar, complete with a sailor theme, when Sirius comes in with a bricked phone and a bad attitude. Unfortunately - or maybe not - he's also hot.

   Language:

   English

   Words:

   25,321

   Chapters:

   5/5

   Collections:

   1

   Comments:

   136

   Kudos:

   269

   Bookmarks:

   50

   Hits:

   2,637