Work Text:
The thin wall between their bedrooms was the only thing keeping their "secret" professional.
In Room A, Kaveh was three hours into a "Building the Palace of My Dreams" Minecraft marathon. He was sweating, his headset was slightly crooked, and he was currently defending his choice of stained glass to a chat of 5,000 people.
"It’s about the aesthetic symmetry!" Kaveh shouted, waving a stylus. "If the light doesn't hit the courtyard at exactly 4:00 PM game-time, the whole build is a failure!"
In Room B, Alhaitham was live to 12,000 people. He wasn't playing a game. He was leaning back in his ergonomic chair, wearing noise-canceling headphones, and watching Kaveh’s stream on his second monitor. His own camera was zoomed in on his face—specifically his mouth, which was curved into a dangerously smug smirk.
"He’s getting worked up," Alhaitham told his chat, his voice a low, melodic rumble. "Watch his left ear. It’s starting to turn pink. That’s the 'Stage One' of a Kaveh meltdown."
Chat: LMAO ALHAITHAM IS SNITCHING
User2: They’ve lived together for years, how are they not sick of each other??
SageSimp: Are you going to do it, Haitham? DO THE THING.
Alhaitham adjusted his mic. He knew Kaveh’s bank account was linked to his streaming alerts. He also knew Kaveh hadn't realized Alhaitham was the one behind the @ActingGrandSage account yet.
"Since we hit the sub goal... let's initiate Stage Two."
[SYSTEM: @ActingGrandSage has donated $100.00 to Kaveh!]
[Message: Your 'aesthetic symmetry' is just a distraction from the fact that you forgot to put a door on the kitchen again. Also, your hair looks like a bird's nest. Fix it before dinner.]
Through the wall, Alhaitham heard a muffled, strangled shriek. On the monitor, Kaveh froze. He read the message twice, his face going from pale to a vibrant, glowing red.
"ALHAITHAM!" Kaveh roared, loud enough that Alhaitham’s own high-fidelity mic picked it up. "I KNOW YOU’RE SITTING FIVE FEET AWAY! STOP SPAMMING MY OVERLAY WITH DOMESTIC COMPLAINTS!"
Alhaitham didn't miss a beat. He looked directly into his own camera, the picture of innocence. "I don't know what he's talking about. I’m simply supporting a struggling artist. And his hair is messy."
[SYSTEM: @ActingGrandSage has gifted 100 Subscriptions to Kaveh’s Channel!]
[Message: Maybe use the sub revenue to buy a ruler. Or a comb. I'll see you in the kitchen in ten minutes.]
"THAT’S IT!" Kaveh screamed. On his stream, his character walked straight into a lava pit and died. "I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY UNINSTALL YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM!"
The sound of a chair screeching followed, then the heavy thud of footsteps. Alhaitham’s bedroom door flew open. Kaveh stood there, blonde hair frizzy from static, pointing a finger. He looked like he wanted to commit a crime, but his eyes had that soft, familiar glint they only had when the cameras were (supposedly) off.
"You are a menace!" Kaveh yelled, leaning over Alhaitham's shoulder, completely forgetting he was now appearing on Alhaitham’s 4K camera.
Alhaitham didn't look away from his monitor. "You’re live on my channel, Kaveh. Say hello to the 12,000 people who now know you’re wearing my oversized sweater."
Kaveh blinked. He looked at Alhaitham’s screen. He saw the chat scrolling at light-speed: WAIT THAT'S HAITHAM'S HOODIE, THEY LIVE LIKE THIS??, LOOK AT HOW HE'S HOLDING KAVEH'S WRIST.
Kaveh’s brain short-circuited. He looked at Alhaitham, who was finally looking up at him with an expression of pure, unadulterated joy.
"You... you're a simp," Kaveh whispered, his voice cracking. "You’re my biggest donor and you use it to bully me? In front of everyone?"
"It’s the most efficient way to get your attention," Alhaitham said, reaching out to snag Kaveh’s waist and tugging him closer into the camera’s frame—way closer than "just roommates" ever should be. "And besides, watching you get 'drowned' in donations while you fume is the best content I've had all week."
Kaveh tried to look indignant, but being pulled into Alhaitham’s lap always made his resolve crumble. He leaned against the arm of the chair, grumbling into Alhaitham’s neck. "I hate you. I’m going to delete your save files."
"No you won't," Alhaitham murmured, his hand resting comfortably on Kaveh’s hip, hidden just off-camera (or so he thought). "You like the attention too much. Especially when I'm the one giving it."
Kaveh hid his face in his hands, but he didn't move away. "I’m going to destroy you after we go offline. Just you wait."
Alhaitham just smiled at the camera, his thumb stroking Kaveh's side. "I’m ending the stream now. Wish me luck, chat. The architect is 'angry' again, and I have a feeling I’m going to have to 'apologize' for the next hour."