Chapter Text
It’s funny how you try to break out of the box of what society has penned an omega to be and yet you end up doing exactly what society expects from you.
It’s not so much funny as ironic, I suppose.
I had been raised to be strong, to speak my mind and to be true to myself.
A lot of alphas found my personality grating and it was hard for me to make friends.
I learned from a young age to stand alone and not conform myself to what others wanted me to be even if it meant being an outcast.
I grew a thick skin quickly and it’s the only reason why I managed to get a career as an MC at the age of seventeen.
It had been unheard of and I became the youngest to ever host an award ceremony.
I liked being a trend setter and breaking boundaries. I enjoyed how people seemed to recognize me for my talent instead of my scent.
It’s how I met the first alpha who ever showed any interest in me.
She was very beautiful, too beautiful for someone like me. I was skeptical at first of her attention but the more time we spent together, the harder I fell for her.
Minlyn was not what I expected from an alpha. She actually cared about what I thought and she encouraged me to try harder.
I know I would have fought harder on my own to advance my career but getting to the top of recognition in the span of a year had been her influence.
Having an alpha who believed in me and who supported me unconditionally was more than I ever thought I could have.
I moved into her apartment and I gave myself to her freely. I felt like I had finally found my place and I started to think about our future together.
I was offered a few job opportunities overseas and in my native home of China. I accept the offers and I lived in New York for three weeks before going to L.A. for two and then I was off to China for a month.
I liked the variety of programs that I had been invited to be a part of. I consider myself to be funny and I know I can always entertain a crowd.
I missed Minlyn like crazy but we talked and Skyped all the time and it brought me some comfort.
She promised to come and see me in China but she never came.
The postponement of her visits had been explained away the first few times but by the fourth time, that little voice in the back of my head started to tell me that something wasn’t right.
I tried to ignore it at first but it just couldn’t be ignored.
I wanted to fly back to Korea and prove to myself that things were perfectly alright between us and that I had nothing to worry about. But I couldn’t do that, I had a commitment to fulfill and I wasn’t going to sacrifice my credibility because of my insecurities.
Our communication also began to become less frequent and by the time I was done with the variety show, I knew I was coming home to a broken relationship.
She never told me why her feelings changed so suddenly but I knew it was because of another omega. I could smell him on her.
I admit that I was not the most adult or composed person when I left her apartment. I want to say I left with my pride intact and with my head held high but that would be a lie.
I broke a lot of her expensive shit and I shouted obscenities at her. I pointed out all of her flaws loud enough for all the neighbors to hear.
I just wanted her to feel humiliated the way I did.
It was petty and childish, I know. But in the heat of the moment I didn’t give a shit about my image. If she thought she could end our relationship as if it were merely a business transaction then she could go fuck herself.
I was smart enough to get out of there before the cops were called in, so at least there was that.
I forced myself to continue on with my life and not let the break up interfere with my career. I pretended I was perfectly fine and I went about my daily like, just like any other day. Some days were harder than others but I was strong and I knew I could make it on my own. I had for years before Minlyn and I would continue to succeed, alpha or no alpha.
And I was perfectly fine on my own for a year and a half until I was given the task of interviewing an up and coming hip hop group that had become a sensation overnight: Bangtan Sonyeondan.
The moment my hand touched Rap Monster’s, I knew I was screwed. In more ways than one.
The whole interview I kept telling myself to be cool and keep my shit together. He was just another alpha and he wouldn’t be the first to get my hormones all riled up.
He just kept smiling and looking into my eyes as he talked and I was sucked into his gravitation pull, damn him.
I just wanted to get out, to run away as far as possible but my legs ignored my brains advice and I found myself standing face to face with Rap Mon after the interview.
I couldn’t stop staring at his mouth or his broad chest and I remembered with vivid clarity exactly how long it had been since I’d been laid.
When he finally turns to walk away, panic seizes me and I know I can’t just let him leave.
“So. You’re the only one without a mate.” I blurt out.
He turns back to look at me and I am relieved to have his attention again.
His lips slowly curl into a smile and my stomach flutters.
God, I just wanted to slap him for being so damn charming and then I wanted to slap myself for being such a fool.
“Yeah.”
“By choice or are you supposed to stay single forever?”
He chuckles and my toes curl in response.
“I just haven’t found the right one.”
I lick my lips and his eyes track the movement.
“Hmm.” I say nodding.
His eyes look back into mine and I notice that he’s stepped closer to me.
I swallow, trying to get some moisture back into my dry mouth.
“What about you? Do you have someone special?” He asks.
“Does my dog count?”
He laughs and I have to clench my hands to stop myself from physically flinging my body at him.
“No.”
“Then no. I thought I did for a while but it turns out I was more committed than her.”
Why are you sharing shit from your past? To a stranger! Shut the fuck up, Jackson. Just shut up!
“That’s too bad for you but so good for me.”
I am frozen for a second in shock.
I force myself to smile and I nudge his arm.
Oh my god, hard muscle!
“You think you are the right one for me?” I flirt and I could just die right now.
“I might be. I guess we’ll have to give it a try.”
“I don’t know. I might be too wild and sexy for you.”
“Wild and sexy.” He snorts. “Look at you acting all cute.”
“I never act cute, I am cute.” I say even when what I really wanted to ask was if he thought I was cute.
He laughs again and I know I have enough wanking material to make me come for a week.
Holy fuck, was this guy real?
Their manager calls for them and I know our interaction has come to an end.
“Good luck out there. I’ll be cheering you on.” I say.
“And I will be thinking of you.” He says winking at me.
Winking!
I think I died for a few seconds.
The moment he is out of the room, I let myself fall on the couch they had just vacated.
I close my eyes and I try to calm myself and force myself back to reality.
Even with a weird name like Rap Monster, I wanted him.
I just had to have him, even if it was only for one night.
I groan and I cover my burning face with my hands.