Archive of Our Own

Shane should really learn how to move on.

All throughout his life, he has learned many things—skills, lessons from good and bad experiences, you name it. Even more so when he got a job and joined the company.

Shane has learned everything except how to move on.

He never had to, it’s not like there was a point in his life where he liked someone that didn’t like him back. 

Well, that is, because Shane has never truly liked someone.

Sure, there were those guys at school or even meet-cutes at cafés and such, but it’s not like those were deep enough that Shane had to seriously move on, it was not like he ever fell in love with them. 

Because ever since he’d realized he was gay at high school, he knew the world well enough that people like him aren't accepted. That it would become a huge thing, and he would’ve become a laughingstock. So as soon as he becomes infatuated with a guy, even after leaving high school, he doesn’t let it go deeper. That’s all it ever will be.

Infatuation. Attraction. A crush.

He never makes a move, he knows himself well enough that he’s not really the best in social interactions. Plus, Shane’s pretty sure every guy he’s had a crush on was straight, so that was that. He only ever admired from afar. It helps, anyway. On not letting things get deeper than just a silly crush. 

That was until he gained a new co-worker named Ilya Rozanov, the company’s new hire in the same department as him.

And okay, maybe fell in love is a bit dramatic if one were to describe Shane’s feelings, but there truly was just something with Ilya that’s different from all the other guys Shane had his little crush on over the past years. Shane knew this was more than that. 

Ilya’s good looks definitely played a part in this, it would be a lie if Shane said otherwise. He had these piercing—blue? green? teal?—eyes, dirty blonde curls that framed his face just right, and jesus, his moles.

He even had a body that was way too well-built for an office worker. It was like he was carefully carved from marble, every plane and angle chiseled into perfection. Not like Shane had seen him naked before, but the way his clothes hung over his body made it all too obvious.

Though it would also be a lie if Shane were to say that that was the reason why he fully fell for Ilya. 

When Ilya was just first introduced to the company, he immediately became the talk of the office. Everyone was buzzing, talking about the hot Russian new hire with looks that could seduce anyone of any gender and an accent that could make anyone take off their clothes in a second.

And Shane, ever the hard-worker he was, couldn’t care less during that time. He was curious, but he already has enough on his plate with him striving to get a promotion. So he never bothered meeting Ilya.

But the universe wouldn’t have that, it seems.

It was just a normal day when it happened, Shane going to the office and immediately going to work. The usual routine. He planned on finishing some assigned tasks early and then submitting them in hopes of being noticed more for the promotion.

Until he was suddenly pulled aside during lunch break by his boss to talk about something. 

He knew he shouldn't, but Shane had hoped that this was the talk he was hoping to have.

It wasn't.

He was assigned yet another task, except this time, the job was not necessarily similar to the ones he'd done before—because he had just been told to show the new hire around the company.

Shane tried his best not to let his feelings show on his face, tried not to snap and say I already have more than enough things to do, and I still want to have a life outside my cubicle.

He seemed to have not done a good job at that, though. Because his boss paused for a moment before suddenly mentioning his goal of getting a promotion. If you help Mr. Rozanov settle in our company, I will put in a good word for you, he said.

And the next thing Shane knew, he was standing in an empty cubicle patiently waiting for Ilya to arrive on his official first day. It at least helped that their cubicles were right next to each other, though.

Shane was busy fiddling with his necktie when he heard someone clearing their throat from behind. 

He turned around and—holy shit. 

There stood Ilya Rozanov, bag slung over his shoulder while his other hand rested in his pocket. 

His coworkers weren't kidding, he definitely had the looks to seduce anyone. 

His hair seemed to be slicked back, curls falling on the left side of his forehead. His body was huge, in the sense that he definitely works out in his free time. His pecs were practically begging to be let out of his white polo. It doesn't help that he wasn't wearing a tie, you could see the way the buttons were holding on for dear life—especially the one above his chest. 

“Hi,” Ilya said. “You are Mr. Shane Hollander?”

An accent that could make anyone take off their clothes in a second, that was also a fucking check. 

It took Shane a minute to answer. He pulled up his mouth that had dropped slightly when Ilya approached him before replying. “Yeah—uh, hi, that's me.”

He offered his hand with a smile that could only be described as sheepish. “Nice to meet you.”

Ilya didn't take his hand immediately, not just yet. He let his eyes rake over Shane's body, almost as if he was taking him all in. He smirks and only then shakes Shane's hand. “Ilya Rozanov.”

Ilya let his hand linger before completely pulling away, slowly dragging his fingers against Shane's palm before holding onto his bag's strap once again. Shane turns around and immediately starts the company tour as soon as he feels his cheeks heat up.

“And then here’s the bathrooms,” Shane stopped, turning to go look at Ilya as he showed him. “Each floor has one, and they’re usually a few steps away from the elevator.”

Ilya nodded, not bothering to actually look. “Okay.”

He’d been doing.. that, since earlier. Every time Shane went to show him an area or a room, Ilya never truly looked at it, only looking at Shane. Shane catches it every time he turns around and finds Ilya already staring at him.

Maybe he was looking whenever Shane had his back turned, but he swears he felt Ilya also staring at the back of his head. Sometimes lower, which Shane didn’t even think would be possible to feel.

It’s hard not to feel conscious when you have an insanely handsome man staring at you almost every moment you’re together. Shane’s surprised he hasn’t turned into a puddle yet. He tilted his head down slightly as he fidgeted with his hair, trying to fix it as he talked. “Well, uh, that’s basically it for our office. Feel free to talk to me anytime, my cubicle’s right next to yours, so.”

Shane saw how Ilya straightened up at that. “Anytime?” 

This made Shane look up properly, blinking. He then realized a few seconds later. “Oh, no—I mean, if you have any questions or problems and stuff,” he scrambled to add. Shane cringes at himself, both for stuttering so much and for also correcting himself—because in all honesty, he wouldn’t mind talking to Ilya even if it wasn’t work related.

Ilya slowly nodded at that, a faint smirk on his face. “Ah. Okay.”

Shane nodded, though much faster than Ilya. “Okay. We should, um, probably get to work now.” And yet he didn’t make any move to leave.

“Lead the way, Mr. Officeman.”

Shane shook his head, the edge of his lips tugging upwards without him meaning to as he turned to walk back to their cubicles. If what he saw in the corner of his eyes were correct, Shane swore he’d seen Ilya with the same expression on his face, his smirk now bigger.

“Shane.”

Shane tried not to let out a sigh as he stood up to walk over to Ilya’s cubicle. He deems himself a patient man, really, he does. And above that, he’s a hard worker who never backs down. So when given the task of helping the newbie settle in the office, he accepted it knowing he can do the job. (That, and the promotion.)

But when it’s the fourth time Ilya has asked Shane a question under the span of fifteen minutes, that job is slowly becoming hard to do.

“What is it?” Shane asked, standing behind Ilya who was sitting in front of his desk. The man only pointed at his computer before looking up at Shane.

“How to turn on computer again?”

Shane reminded himself he loves this job and he shouldn’t risk doing anything that will cause him to lose the promotion.

"Move over for a sec,” Shane sighed, taking a step forward after Ilya rolled his chair backwards. “You press this button over here on the CPU,” Shane says as he bends down to do so, eyes flickering from the power button to Ilya’s eyes—who seemed to be staring at his behind before looking back at Shane’s.

Shane wondered if he just imagined that. He probably did, right? There’s no way.

Shane cleared his throat before going back to the computer. He stood up straight to press another button underneath the screen. “There’s another button here, press the one on the very left.”

After a few seconds, the device finally turns on. Shane nods, pleased with himself. “There you go.” He turns to Ilya, who was already staring at him. 

He blinks, looking at the computer for a second before going back to Shane with the biggest grin. “Ah, yes. Now I know. You are very good with computers, Shane.” He stood up as well to pat Shane on the back. “Thank you.”

Shane tried not to blush at the contact. He failed, as he could already feel the tip of his ears burning. “It’s no problem.”

The rest of the day goes by like that. Every so often, Ilya would call for Shane, asking for help on some random thing.

How to make font size bigger? Is too small for me.

Can you type website name again for me? I forgot.

I was trying to print my file, but suddenly I can’t? What do you click again?

Something is wrong with my keyboard, I think.

And each and every time Shane helped and tried to teach Ilya, he always caught him staring not at the device or whatever he had a problem with, but at Shane.

Their eyes would meet once the problem was solved, and Ilya would always react just a second later, thanking Shane for his time and how he totally gets it now.

Shane was very much confused. Something was definitely happening, but he was never really great at picking up on things. He tells himself that he’s doing his job and is simply helping, so there was no need to overthink.

He does, though. Every time he walked back to his cubicle and sat down. He couldn’t immediately go back to work, mind too filled with thoughts about the co-worker two steps away from him.

Ilya always calling for Shane multiple times in a day was not good for his heart. Sitting so close to him was already bad enough, but being forced to interact with him so often and being the center of attention of those piercing eyes?

Shane could only hope that Ilya couldn’t hear how loud his heart would beat every time they’re in close proximity—and Shane didn’t even think that would happen very frequently outside of Ilya’s pestering during office hours.

Until it reached breaktimes.

Shane wasn’t a fan of going outside during lunch hours. He packs his own food, prepares it in advance and eats it in the office cafeteria. He eats alone, and he doesn’t mind being seen like that. Shane likes being alone, he doesn’t have to worry about talking with his other co-workers and saying something wrong—which he already worries about enough everyday.

But it’s not like he’s completely alone everyday, though. He has Rose: his only friend in the office. Though Rose prefers eating outside, she regularly makes the effort of eating with Shane inside the cafeteria, which he appreciates.

Shane did not need Ilya joining him.

Ever since his first arrival, Ilya had joined Shane every lunch break, like he already doesn’t have enough of him each day they spend in the office.

Is okay if I joined you? Ilya had asked the first time. And how was Shane supposed to say no? It should have been fine, anyways. Shane assumed it was going to be just a one-time thing and Ilya would join another group during breaks, only doing it since he was new and had no one to talk to yet.

But no. He hasn’t left Shane’s side by then. They even already have their own ‘spot’ in the cafeteria, it was the one next to a window. The sun would always hit just right on the curls of Ilya mid lunchbreak, making him look like his hair was golden. Shane’s grateful Ilya carried the conversations, which let him stare freely.

It’s not like there was anything exciting about the conversations they have. Simple things. The workload. How their boss had been cranky as of late. That one co-worker who was for sure pregnant but would deny each time they were asked. 

But even so, Shane would find himself slowly appreciating Ilya’s company. More so than Rose, but don’t tell her that.

Ilya was just so.. easy to talk to. Sure, there had always been an air of arrogance and cockiness around him, and Shane had seen him act on it when he talked to their other co-workers. He wasn’t doing anything too bad, simply purposely pissing off other people for the fun of it. He teases and he flirts and he has his signature smirk on at all times.

Except whenever it’s just the two of them, especially during their lunch breaks, it all seems to wear off. Ilya’s still smug, of course. And he still teases Shane. But it always seemed a bit faded whenever they talked, like his edges had been softened.

He even found himself laughing at times, and when he wasn’t busy looking away because he was shy of the face he would make when he’s grinning, he’d see Ilya laugh and grin just as wide, too.

Shane knew he was falling. He was falling in deep each time Ilya pats him on the small of his back after he helps him, or every time Ilya makes him laugh whenever they ate because they were busy gossiping about their co-workers and they just know there’s this two that most definitely had hooked up in the printing room.

But it all fell into place when Ilya rejected someone offering Shane alcohol during one of their company outings for him. Shane had told him he didn’t have to do that. Though it was appreciated because he didn’t really want to drink, he was used to sucking it up and taking whatever was offered because he was too shy to tell everyone he wasn’t in the mood.

Ilya only blinked at Shane, eyebrows knitting as he said but you only like to drink ginger ale, no? You told me.

And yes, Shane had told him. But it was months ago when he did, and it wasn’t even a big reveal. Only a simple comment, when Ilya was talking about his friend recommending him drinks for when he first moved from Russia, and Shane went Canada Dry? Yeah, I like their ginger ale. It’s the only thing I drink. 

And even then, Ilya remembered. He didn’t even make a big deal when Shane talked about it, unlike his other co-workers who’d tease him for being such a baby.

Shane could’ve kissed Ilya right then and there.

Shane was incredibly fucked. Because that—this has been going on for months now. And it’s all fine. The two of them are having a good time, always side by side at all hours of the day, sitting next to each other and then in front of each other during breaks.

Except Shane’s totally in love with Ilya.

It was embarrassing, because who wasn’t? Everyone wanted Ilya. But that’s what makes things more confusing.

Of all the people that are very clearly interested in him, Ilya chooses to spend all of his time with Shane. Whatever for?

Shane had asked this himself countless times over the months, and he was sure that it’s only because Ilya just wanted to repay his kindness for helping him settle within the office. Not that he was bragging, but Shane did always help out Ilya all the time. Even introduced him to other employees there to help him fit in, though he had no problem doing that on his own.

Even with the mention of how Shane mostly did it for the promotion did not stop Ilya. He only shrugged, smirking as he went, am glad they chose you for me, then, and then continued hanging out like normal.

And though Shane's never been the best at picking up hints, even he knew that things have been different lately. Ilya’s stares seem to linger longer. Their topics during breaks were now more personal, in a non uncomfortable way. During company or group outings, they were always sitting next to each other, and they would almost always play footsies under the table, smiling to themselves as they watched their co-workers get shitfaced.

But all of that goes down the drain very soon.

Shane’s not waiting for Ilya to arrive, definitely not.

It’s just that, they’re supposed to start working twelve minutes ago, and Ilya usually arrives right on the dot if not five minutes earlier.

Today though, despite Shane knowing Ilya hasn’t arrived yet, he can’t help but push his chair back a little to get a peek from Ilya’s empty cubicle, as if he’ll appear if he looks just one more time.

The elevator suddenly dings, and Shane scrambles to his desk to go back to work. It’s not long before he hears panting and rushed footsteps towards his space.

“Shane.” And Shane didn’t need to look to know that it was Ilya. He’d basically memorized it at this point, how his name rolls off Ilya’s tongue. How his accent wraps around the one syllable so carefully, making him say it like no one else does. 

Shane does, anyway. Turning his head to look up at Ilya—who very much looks like he ran here. He stops himself from fixing Ilya’s messy curls. “Ilya.”

“Hi, sorry I am late,” Ilya says, letting out a deep sigh when he plops himself on his chair. He doesn’t immediately get to work though, still facing Shane. “Alarm did not go off, so I woke up late. Then I had to jog with Anya.”

Shane’s ears perk up at that.

Ilya continued, still panting softly. He should really catch his breath, but he seemed set on explaining himself. “We always jog together in the morning, she gets grumpy if we don’t because I always go home late—which am trying to fix.”

Anya. That’s a girl’s name, isn’t it? Ilya used ‘she’, too. And apparently, she gets grumpy when Ilya doesn’t go home immediately.

Anya’s Ilya’s girlfriend.

Maybe. Possibly.

“Trying to fix?” Shane asks.

“Yes, I think I will stop doing overtime,” Ilya nods. A smile slowly forms on his face as he continues. “She misses me a lot, and I want to come home to her as soon as possible.”

Okay, so definitely.

Shane feels stupid. Of course Ilya would have a girlfriend, it'd only be more confusing if he didn't have one. And of course he speaks of her so fondly, willing to give up overtime even if it's one of the most treasured moments Shane has with Ilya because even though they'll be one of the last ones left in the office, at least they're staying up late together. 

It only makes sense. With killer looks and a charming personality, Ilya could pick anyone he'd like to be his partner.

Shane tries not to think about how he wasn't the one chosen.

“Cool.” Shane turns away, going back to work. He types more aggressively than needed, hoping that the sounds of the keyboard will drown his thoughts out.

It doesn't. 

Stupid. Fucking stupid. 

What was Shane thinking? Things have been different lately? Seriously? 

Ilya doesn't even like men—well, he hasn't said anything much about that part as far as Shane could recall. But it's not like he has to explain anymore, he has a girlfriend.

How embarrassing. 

Shane spends the next hour trying to focus on his job and definitely not imagining how Anya looks or how she is like. 

“Anya is very sweet, you know,” Ilya says as he chews. Shane doesn't even bother calling him out on his manners, too busy trying not to break down in the middle of the canteen because his stupid crush is talking about his stupid girlfriend.

Shane couldn't say no to Ilya joining him for lunch. How could he? It was their routine. And Ilya was even the one who invited Shane, telling him to hurry up or else someone will take their spot, already heading there without looking back because he knows Shane will follow.

“Gives me lots of kisses,” Ilya chuckled, staring at his food as he shared. It was obvious he was thinking of her right now. It makes Shane sick to his stomach. “She is very nice.”

Shane couldn't even taste what he was eating anymore, simply eating just to eat. Not like he ever really enjoyed eating before, but this time, he was way more out of it. He only hums as a response as Ilya talks, not bothering to actually reply.

He only gets snapped out of his trance when Ilya says, “I think you will like her.”

Shane thinks he definitely will not.

But he can’t say that, can’t be petty when Ilya seems genuinely so happy whenever he talks about his girlfriend. So Shane swallows his food—and his pathetic feelings—down before nodding. “Maybe,” he muttered.

Shane only felt more sick when he saw how Ilya lighted up at that.

“Good night, Shane,” Ilya greets, standing up to wear his bag.

Shane turns to Ilya, who was smiling at him. Right. No more overtime. He offers a small, polite smile back. “Yeah, good night, Ilya.”

“You will be alright here?” Ilya asks, letting his arms rest on the cubicle wall after leaning forward. “Wish I could stay, but my girl is waiting for me.”

My girl.

Shane inhales before snapping his head back to his computer. He can’t look at Ilya right now, not when his chest is starting to ache once more. “I’ll be fine.”

He doesn’t hear Ilya leave just yet, feeling the weight of his eyes on him. Even as Shane had continued typing away, he still doesn’t hear the sound of footsteps leaving.

“Okay,” Ilya softly mutters. And then, he finally leaves.

Shane doesn’t dare to move until he hears the elevator doors open and then close again. Once it does, he finally lets out a big sigh of relief.

“Loverboy isn't joining you?”

“Jesus—”

Shane whips his head around to see Rose standing there, smiling. “You look like you've seen a ghost.”

And she couldn't be any more wrong. She was the opposite of a ghost, one of the most beautiful people Shane has ever met. Even if he’s gay, Shane still knows when to honestly appreciate a girl's beauty. He wonders, for a split second, if Anya is as beautiful as her.

Shane sighs, smiling back at Rose. “You surprised me, what are you doing here?”

“Wanted to see this Ilya guy for myself! Though.. it seems like I was too late? I thought you guys always worked overtime together?”

This makes Shane sigh once more. “Not anymore,” He mumbles, turning around to get back to his computer.

“Oh?” Shane could hear Rose sitting down on Ilya’s chair and pushing it outside the cubicle to sit beside him. “What happened? Don't tell me you guys fought.”

“We didn't!” Shane looks at Rose, way too worked up. Rose raises an eyebrow, making Shane embarrassed. “He said he wanted to stop doing overtime, okay?” He says much quieter.

“Because?”

“Because he has a girlfriend at home waiting for him,” Shane snaps.

Rose's jaw drops. “No fucking way.”

“Her name's Anya,” Shane goes back to mumbling, eyes looking back on his screen despite knowing full well he's not going to get any work done tonight. “He says she gets grumpy when he gets home too late.”

“Oh, Shane,” Rose says pitifully, hand coming up to cover his. “I thought he was single all this time! He was flirting with you like crazy, wasn't he?”

“That's what I thought too, god—” Shane drags his other hand down on his face, too humiliated because of himself and his stupid feelings. “I don't know, I'm just—this is just too embarrassing.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about! It's not like you've made any moves, right?” Rose says, his hold on Shane's hand tightening as she gets worked up. She pulls away with a sigh, leaning back on her—Ilya's chair. “Honestly, you still could.”

Shane turns to give Rose a confused look. This only makes her laugh.

“What? Come on, Shane. You love the guy, right? Don't back down, show that you're serious about him!” 

Shane tries not to blush at Rose’s words, grateful that they were the only people in the room. “Rose, you're supposed to tell me to move on.”

Rose playfully rolls her eyes, crossing her arms. “Pssh. Where’s the fun in that? It's not like you'll do anything bad! Just, I don't know, show hints you're interested in him or something.”

“Rose, you're telling me to hit on a guy who's already in a relationship.”

“A relationship that most probably just started!” She rolls her chair closer to Shane's, a grin on her face that shouldn't be that big considering what her words were about. “If he’s had a girlfriend since, forever, he would've mentioned that to you ages ago, right?”

Shane hates how Rose is kind of making sense.

Because Shane and Ilya have been hanging out together for how long now. It was true, if Ilya did already have a girlfriend, he would've at least mentioned something.

Shane shakes his head, sighing before turning away. “I’m not doing that to Ilya.” And then he could hear Rose groaning beside him.

“Fine. But at least keep hanging out with him,” Rose hummed. “I have a feeling you were gonna start avoiding him or something.”

Shane freezes at that. Bullseye.

Rose lets out a disbelieved huff. “Shane!”

“What else am I supposed to do?!” Shane says louder than he should be after turning to look at Rose. He clears his throat before quieting down. “I don't think I can continue being with him if all he talks about is his girlfriend!”

“So don't talk about his girlfriend!” Rose leans closer, her voice going soft. “Shane, despite everything else, you're the closest friend Ilya has in this office. He would be heartbroken if you start avoiding him.”

Shane's heart suddenly aches at that. 

Rose was right. Ilya would be confused, asking why Shane's suddenly ignoring him or why they aren't eating lunch together anymore.

He finally gives in with a defeated sigh. “Fine. But I'm not hitting on him.”

Rose grins, pulling away but not before patting Shane. “There we go!”

That's fine. He'll just act like normal. Maybe even try to steer the conversation in a different topic once they were starting to talk about Ilya's girlfriend. That should be easy enough. Shane can do this.

“I slept with Anya last night.”

Okay, Shane absolutely cannot do this.

“I mean, we sleep together all the time,” Ilya says after swallowing down his food. “But last night she.. how you say? Initiative?”

“Initiate,” Shane corrects. So much for steering away the conversation.

“Yes. She initiate.” Ilya smiles, obviously thinking about her again. “Was very sweet.”

Shane is unsure of why Ilya would choose the word sweet when describing his girlfriend taking initiative during sex, but he lets it go. He honestly couldn't—and shouldn't—care less.

Shane nods, staring down on his own food. He honestly wasn't in the mood to eat anymore, but lunch had just started. 

“So, uh,” Shane starts as he looks up at Ilya, and he's already regretting what he was going to say. “How long have you known Anya?”

He couldn't help himself. He was curious. Ilya did just say they slept together all the time, too. Plus, Rose's words echoed in Shane's head, her words about the length of Ilya's relationship with his girlfriend.

“Ah, very long now,” Ilya replies as he waves his hand. “I think almost one year.”

One year. So much for relationship that just started, Rose.

Shane presses his lips together, nodding. “I see.”

Even as Shane goes back to staring at his food, he could feel Ilya looking at him. Analyzing him.

“Oh.” Ilya shifts on his seat, sitting up properly. “I did not tell you before because I only talk about Anya with those I like.”

Shane held himself back from letting out a scoff. Ilya could not be very more wrong as to his guess about why Shane was getting tense. And such word choices, it almost made him feel hopeful that he might have a chance. 

“Gee, thanks,” Shane mumbled, words all too bitter. He cringes at himself for talking in such a way right after.

Ilya takes a moment before asking. “.. You are upset?”

“What? No.”

“No, is okay—look, I can even show you picture of her if you would like.”

“Ilya, no—” Shane closes his eyes with a sigh. He stops himself from leaning down and hitting his head on the table because no, he absolutely would not want to see a picture of Anya. “It's fine.”

The next time Shane opens his eyes and properly looks at Ilya, he sees him with a concerned expression on his face. That, and a mix of hurt.

“Okay,” Ilya tightly says. “Maybe would be better for you to meet her personally, anyways.”

Shane finally takes a bite off his own food to stop himself from scoffing. “Sure.”

Shane feels a pang of guilt when he sees Ilya smile at that, most probably thinking that he was being genuine.

“Anya's hair yesterday was very cute, want to see?” Ilya says, rolling his chair backwards to meet Shane on the other side of their cubicle wall.

Shane, ever so naive, thought that the Anya conversations would only happen during breaks. It was bittersweet, because this only shows how much Ilya loves his girlfriend. So much so he wanted to talk about her during work hours.

“Uh, no, it's fine,” Shane replies, eyes glued on his screen. He feels bad for rejecting Ilya's offer to show his girlfriend once again—but this doesn't mean he changed his mind and wants to see her now, thank you very much—so he adds, “You have lots of pictures of her?”

Even with just his peripheral vision, Shane could see how Ilya brightens at that. “Yes. She is my phone wallpaper, and I even have picture of her in my wallet.”

Shane values privacy a lot. He wouldn't dare mess or even look at other people's things, let alone their gadgets. But now, he set his mind on never checking Ilya's phone for the sake of his heart and peace of mind.

Shane stiffly nods. “Cool.”

There was a pause, a silence in the air. Shane hasn't heard any wheels rolling so he knows Ilya hasn't gone back to his desk yet, which means he was still there, looking at Shane.

“You are doing alright in overtime?” 

“Huh?” Shane turns his head, seeing Ilya look at him. He turns back to his computer before he could continue blushing at the sight of Ilya staring so earnestly. “Yeah—yeah, I'm doing fine.”

There was another small pause before Ilya continued. “Hm, so you do not miss me?”

“What?” Shane turns around again at Ilya, who was now smirking at him. It was too late now, Shane was getting red.

“Shame, because I miss you,” He says, leaning back on his chair, making it recline. “We used to stay in the office very late, no? Is like our little quiet time, just us two.”

Ilya should really stop talking, which is a statement Shane would have never thought he'd ever say—or well, think of.

Because now he was making him hopeful on purpose. Ilya was straight up telling Shane he misses him.

Shane mentally slaps himself. That was a normal thing to say to a friend, right?

Friends miss each other. Ilya wasn't saying anything bad, he was only being honest. After all, they are close. Plus, behind the workload and staying up late, it was nice staying in the office alone with Ilya. Just the two of them.

Yes. Okay. Shane shouldn't think about things too much, this was just Ilya being nice.

Shane lets out an awkward laugh, putting on a smile he hopes looks casual enough. “Oh—yeah, overtime's fun. I do miss you.”

Ilya grins at that, like he's heard the exact answer he's been waiting to hear all his life. Before Shane could add onto his words that would help make it sound not so romantic, Ilya finally pulls his chair forward to continue working, the cubicle wall separating them again.

Shane gently hits his head on the table, closing his eyes with a sigh.

Shane should really say something at this point.

Ilya hasn't stopped for how many days now. It's all Anya, Anya, Anya.

Even Rose was starting to feel bad whenever she came over during overtime, letting Shane rant and update her about his status with Ilya—which is going bad, if anyone's asking.

For the record, Shane was trying hard to make sure the conversation doesn't lead to anything girlfriend related, but somehow, Ilya always finds a way to make every topic about Anya.

Like that one time where Ilya was late again, and he talked about how Anya was very clingy and didn't want him to leave.

Or that one time where Ilya invited Shane to try out this new yogurt place that just opened near their office during lunch time, which made Shane excited because not only were they going out together, but because Ilya specifically told him about it because he knew how much Shane liked being healthy. It didn't last long when they were eating and Ilya mentioned how Anya likes the same exact flavor Shane ordered.

And hell, even that one time where Shane was showing a funny video of a dog and Ilya still managed to make it about his girlfriend, talking about how the dog looks just like her. Shane almost went crazy.

But he just can't bring it to himself to shut Ilya down.

Not when this was the only way for them to talk to each other. When this was the only way for Shane to even interact with Ilya with work aside.

He hates it, he truly does. But what can he do?

And just when Shane had thought that the Anya talks were over, Ilya goes ahead and invites him to his place to meet her.

Shane had never been the best at saying no to people, but doing that was harder than usual because this was Ilya we were talking about. That, and the fact that Ilya was quite literally asking him to come over to his place.

He'd done it so.. differently, for the lack of a better word, too.

Ilya was flirty and naturally charming. Obviously. He'd seem like the type to very casually ask someone to come over to his place at a random time like in the middle of a conversation, and it wouldn't be weird because he's Ilya. You would say yes anyways because you'd be too busy blushing over the fact that you'd be alone together.

So when Ilya had pulled Shane aside before doing overtime and before he could go home, sincerely telling Shane about how he wanted him to come over so he could finally see Anya because he wants the two most precious people in his life to meet, it was definitely a shock.

How could Shane say no? Besides, he was too busy thinking about the fact that Ilya had admitted how Shane was very precious to him. Sure, Ilya means it as a friend, but Shane will take it. 

He's precious to Ilya, and that's all that matters.

For once, Shane had not forced himself to stay more than the hours their company requires their employees to spend in their office. Skipping overtime feels a bit weird, for it was a change in his routine, but it was for Ilya anyways. He doesn't need to think twice about it.

“Am very excited for you to meet my girl,” Ilya says, turning to look at Shane with a smile before going back to face the windshield. This was another reason why Shane said yes, because Ilya offered to drive him there. He never mentioned anything about going home though, but Shane will probably just get an uber.

Shane stiffly nods, forcing himself to smile at that. “Hope she'll like me.”

“Ah, she will love you,” Ilya quickly replies in rebuttal, even waving one hand dismissively before placing it back on the wheel. “She is a bit mean when she meets new people, but I am sure she will be friendly to you.”

Shane couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at that. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Ilya says firmly, looking at Shane through the rearview mirror. “If she is not, I will give her scolding.”

Shane laughs at that, making Ilya smile. His chest doesn't ache as hard as it usually does when this is their flow of conversation. Perhaps it's because Shane just finds the idea of Ilya lecturing his girlfriend like a mother because she doesn't like him a bit funny.

The easygoing feeling Shane had for the car ride cuts to a halt when they finally park. Ilya still seems excited, but Shane immediately becomes anxious when the engine stops and Ilya gets out of the car.

Shane takes a breath before unbuckling the belt and following the other, eyes too busy staring down on the ground to appreciate just how nice Ilya's place was. 

Hey, I'm Shane Hollander, and I'm your boyfriend's co-worker and friend, Shane repeats again and again in his head, like a script for a play. 

He snaps out of it when Ilya finally opens the door and calls out for Anya, then urging for Shane to go inside.

He takes a deep breath before repeating his line in his head. He hopes he doesn't fuck anything up and accidentally adds by the way, I've been in love with your boyfriend for a long time now and I actually didn't even want to meet you but I love him too much to say no.

Shane waits for footsteps to come, to be followed by a girl who will either greet him with a big smile or a big scowl. Until today, he could not conjure a proper image for what he thinks Anya will look like. Long hair was the most Shane could think about, Ilya was always talking about her hairstyles after all.

However, Shane does not hear footsteps. Instead, he hears jingling, and then the sounds of nails hitting the wooden floor very quickly, presumably because of running.

Oh.

She definitely has long hair, alright.

“There's my girl,” Ilya warmly greets, bending down to pat the Australian Shepherd smiling widely at him. “You missed me, hm? Missed me so much?”

Anya was a fucking dog.

Shane could not be even more embarrassed. “Holy shit.”

Ilya, at the same time as Anya, turns to look up at him. “Is there a problem?”

Yes, there was a fucking problem. Ilya's girlfriend is a dog.

Everything starts to make sense now. The way Ilya talks about Anya, how she behaves, how Ilya was sure Shane would like her.

All this time, Ilya Rozanov did not have a girlfriend. He was talking about his pet.

Shane wants to punch himself in the face for the way he's been thinking and acting these past few weeks.

“Shane?”

“Oh.” Shane blinks, clearing his throat. “Sorry—uh, hey, Anya.” He tries his best to smile, which is insanely hard to do considering the fact that he's talking to the dog he was convinced was a human being all this time.

Anya does not smile back, even whimpering softly and hiding behind Ilya. Ilya notices, of course. Not just how Anya was behaving, but Shane, as well. He stands up, taking a step closer to him. “What is wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing, just..” Shane pauses, staring at Ilya before flickering his eyes at Anya. He closes his eyes with a sigh, giving up before mumbling so softly it has Ilya's eyebrows furrowing.

“What?” Ilya asks, taking another step forward. “I cannot hear you, Shane.”

“I thought Anya was your girlfriend!” Shane finally spits out. As soon as the words leave his mouth, he immediately flushes.

When Shane doesn't hear Ilya answer for a few seconds, he finally opens his eyes. He's met with the sight of Ilya grinning so big it looks like he was going to hurt his mouth.

“Oh my god.”

“Don't laugh,” Shane grumbles, glaring at Ilya. It doesn't seem to do a thing though, because it only pushed Ilya to do the opposite.

“Oh my god, Shane—” Ilya laughs, pulling up a hand to hide his mouth. The edge of his grinning lips could still be seen. “You thought Anya—”

“Just shut up, okay?” Shane manages to say despite him being a blushing, embarrassed mess. “You didn't say she was your dog!”

“I did not say she was my girlfriend.”

This time, when Ilya took another step towards Shane, the distance between them closed as well. Shane shuffles slightly, but there was nowhere for him to go, his back meeting the wood of the door.

“Shane, you are jealous?”

“No I'm not,” Shane replies too quickly, which only makes Ilya laugh once again. He hates how Ilya's laugh does something weird to his stomach.

“Mm,” Ilya hums, eyes dropping to look at Shane's lips for a second before going back to his eyes. “I had thought you started hating me, but it seems you were only.. ah, what is the word..”

Shane could only stare at Ilya, trying his best to keep up his glaring.

“Ah,” Ilya nods. “Sulking.”

“I wasn't sulking,” Shane replies quickly once more. 

“No? You were not sulking because of Anya?” Ilya asks, and Shane could just hear the mockery in his voice.

Shane presses his lips, frowning. He looks away, voice weak. “Asshole.”

“мой умный мальчик,” Ilya says softly, fondly. “I had told you before, no? I only talk about my girl with the people I like. I even told you you are very precious to me.”

“That's the thing! You say things like that, like my girl or—”

Shane's breath hitches when he realizes. He finally looks at Ilya, properly, his eyes wide. 

Ilya likes Shane.

It all comes hitting him once again. 

I did not tell you before because I only talk about Anya with those I like.

You do not miss me? Because I miss you.

You are very precious to me.

“Holy shit,” Shane exhaled.

When he didn't say anything for the next few seconds, Ilya suddenly spoke. “Shane, I want to kiss you very badly.”

Shane wants to cry at the revelation and then kiss Ilya. Maybe he can do both. And more.

He doesn't answer, and instead lunges himself forward as he presses his lips on Ilya's.

Shane gets properly introduced to Anya an hour later at the living room after ignoring her and locking her out of the very noisy bedroom.