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“Okay, boys, who’s going out?” Bood called in the locker room as he pulled his shirt over his head. They had just won a game 4-2 against Toronto, and their flight tomorrow blessedly wasn’t until late morning. Meaning they could go out tonight, properly celebrate, and still sleep well before being herded to New York for their next game.
“I’m in!” Young said as he toweled himself off.
“Same,” and “me too!” a couple players agreed in their various states of undress.
“Yes, please, I need a drink,” Wyatt sighed as he slipped on his sneakers. Despite their win, he had had a tough game tonight, and was utterly exhausted.
“You’ve definitely earned one, Hazy,” Dykstra smiled, a casual arm around his shoulder.
“I think he earned more than one, Dykstra,” Nick joked. Wyatt had blocked a truly insane number of goals tonight; the Cens wouldn’t have won if it wasn’t for him.
Ilya came over to his stall, fresh from the showers, and sat down on the bench in his towel. Shane was already half-dressed standing next to him.
“Cap, Hollzy, you two coming?” Bood asked.
Ilya looked up at Shane, raising his eyebrows, letting his husband decide how their night would end. Shane contemplated for a moment and then turned out towards the group. “I think we’re gonna stay at the hotel and have a lowkey night. Have fun, though!”
“Luca - you in?” Holmberg said and the boy nodded.
“There’s this place my friend just opened we can check out?” Nick suggested. The guys all nodded and chatted casually about the game as they finished showering and changing. Shane had finished quickly and was standing off to the side, texting someone. When Ilya was dressed, he stood up, shouldered his bag, then gently rested his hand on the small of Shane’s back to signal he was ready.
“Good job tonight, boys. Don’t do anything I won’t do tonight,” Ilya said with a wink
“So….basically nothing is off the table,” LaPointe joked, earning a round of laughter.
“See you at 11am to go to the airport. If a single one of you is too hungover to beat New York, I will make you all pay,” he threatened, though there was no real heat to it. The Centaurs were fairly responsible and knew how to take care of themselves.
“Night,” Shane said politely with a smile as the couple exited the locker room.
“That little fucker, smiling like he’s not about to get fucked in five different positions,” Wyatt laughed as soon as they were gone.
“A ‘lowkey night’ my ass,” Troy scoffed.
“I feel like their victory sex after a game has got to be wild,” Boyle added.
“I still don’t understand how either of them have even have the energy to fuck right after a game. I’m wiped,” LaPointe said.
“Well of course you wouldn’t understand, you’ve never had the opportunity,” Holmberg teased him, slapping him playfully as LaPointe shook his head.
“Roz is fucking sex maniac,” Bood said, shaking his head. “It’s like he has a separate store of energy just for sex.”
“Yeah, I would not want to ever witness whatever the fuck they get up post-game,” Nick said with a look of genuine terror in his eyes as he put on his jacket.
But Bood, however, had a brilliant idea from Nick’s response.
Zane Boodram was a simple man: he loved hockey, barbecues, his family, and betting. Something about placing stupid bets about his friends’ actions just made him stupidly happy. It was silly and fun and (occasionally) financially rewarding. This wasn't exactly a bet, more like a dare, and this was fully at his own expense, but he believed the pay-off was worth it.
“I’ll give someone $100 to knock on their door, interrupt them, and report what they saw and heard when we get back from the bar tonight.”
“Hell no,” Troy said.
“I’d rather you drive the zamboni over me,” Young deadpanned.
“Those are my parents!” Luca gasped, hand on his heart melodramatically.
“You really think someone would do that for just a hundred dollars?” Dykstra laughed. “You do realize we all make insane amounts of money, right?”
Bood rolled his eyes. “It’s not about the money, it’s about the dare. Who is brave enough to do take one for the team and interrupt their fuck-fest?”
“Do you have to say it like that?” Luca mumbled, as if Shane and Ilya were really his parents.
“I dare Holmberg,” Young says, pointing at his friend.
“What? Why me?”
Young shrugged. “It’d be funny.”
“Well I dare you!” Bergy shot back, pointing his finger into the middle of Young’s chest.
“I nominate Troy,” LaPointe said.
“This isn’t the fucking Oscars, Pointy,” Troy chuckled, rolling his eyes. “I dare Bood. You thought of this stupid idea, why don’t you do it?”
“Luca should do it cause Cap won’t actually get mad at him,” Nick pointed out. “Whereas any other one of us….we could die.”
“That is true,” Boyle agreed.
“I am not doing it.”
“Too scared, baby Haasy?” LaPointe teased. The locker room descended into chaos from there, as everyone fought to avoid being the one to do the dare, as if it was mandatory now that it’d been spoken.
“Okay, okay, quiet,” Bood said, realizing they were never going to even make it to the bar if this continued. “I’ve got an idea. At the bar we get a round of shots, but I ask the bartender to make one of them just water. Whoever ends up with the water has to do it. Sound good?”
The boys looked at each other, seemingly accepted their fate. All of them could agree this was silly nonsense that they didn’t have to follow through on. But they were hockey players, and they had big egos. If a dare was presented to them, they were going to follow through.
“Sounds good.”
“I’m in.”
“Is the $100 thing still on the table?” Young asked, as if he really needed the money, and the guys laughed.
“Come on, let’s head out. Shots are on me.”
——
In an unfortunate turn of events, Luca was stuck with the water shot.
“Please don’t make me do this,” he whined, hours later, as the teammates stumbled out of two Uber XL’s and into the hotel lobby.
“You agreed to the terms, Haasy,” Bood shrugged.
“Can’t go back on your word,” Dykstra agreed.
Luca groaned, running his hands through his hair. “This is the worst day of my life.”
“It’s not like they can open the door while actively fucking,” Wyatt said in an oddly comforting way.
"That's a good point!"
“Yeah, you’ll just probably see like….one of them naked and sweaty, peaking through the cracked door. Which is pretty standard for the locker room anyway.”
“If they even answer, which they might not.”
“They’ll answer. Hollzy’s always all Mama-Bear when we go out in case someone gets sick,” Young said.
“I don’t want them to think something’s wrong! What will I even say?” Luca said, panicked, as they reached the elevators.
“Just say you’re drunk and got locked out of your room or something.”
“Why would I go to them and not the front desk?”
“I don’t know, cause you’re embarrassed ? Figure it out, Haasy,” Dykstra said, patting the kid on the back. They had reached the 11th floor, where most of the team was staying.
“Then come to my room to report back,” Bood said, as if this was some sort of spy mission for intel.
“Can we do side bets? Like, can I bet that ropes are involved?” Holmberg asks.
“Now why would you suggest that, Bergy?” LaPointe says with a groan. “I don’t want to picture that!”
“Ropes aren’t even that intense,” Bergy mumbled.
“No sex-related side bets. Too personal. If you want to bet who answers the door, or levels of undress, we can talk in my room,” Bood says as if we’re talking about a normal business transaction.”
“I’ll bet you $20 it’s Roz opening the door fully naked,” LaPointe whispered to Young.
“You’re on,” Young said, shaking his friend’s hands.
“Godspeed, Luca,” Troy said, giving him a salute and pushing him gently in the direction of room 1134. Luca looked back at his teammates, huddle at the end of the hall, with a nervous grin. The guys nodded at him enthusiastically before retreating into Bood’s nearby room.
“Why can’t my team be normal?” Luca whispered to himself before raising his hand to knock. He did three quick knocks, then held his breath, praying they didn’t answer. He couldn’t actually hear anything obscene from out here — was it possible he’d get lucky and they were asleep already?
Nope, not possible, because a moment later, Shane opened the door, in the fluffy hotel bathrobe.
Sorry, Pointy, that’s $20, Luca thought to himself, as he took in the rest of Shane’s appearance. Hew as wearing one of fuzzy fluffy headbands he’d seen girls on Tiktok wear while doing their makeup, with two little cat ears on top. His skin was super shiny, and not in a sweaty way, but more like he had some sort of clear mask on. Through the opening of the door, he could see Ilya bundled under the blankets, some sort of mint green mask on his face, which was alight from the glow of the tv screen. A half-eaten plate of chocolate covered strawberries and two champagne glasses sat on the bedside table.
“Oh,” Luca gasped, genuinely shocked. “Hi.”
“What’s up? Is something wrong?” Shane asked, genuinely concerned, which made Luca feel worse. Ilya sat up at Shane’s words, grabbing the remote to pause whatever was on the TV. His little headband had bunny ears instead of cat ones.
“Sorry I, uh, I thought — I thought this was my room and I couldn’t find my key,” Luca stuttered.
Ilya squinted at him from his mound of pillows. “Didn’t you come back with Young? He did not have his key or remember correct room number?” he asked, clearly not buying it.
“Uhhh, no I was talking with LaPointe in his room for a few and then got confused. Sorry — I’ll just—“
“Are you sure you’re okay, Luca?” Shane asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.
“Yeah, just had too much to drink,” he said. “Sorry for bothering you guys — uh, goodnight.”
Luca fled down the hall before Shane could get another word in, then slowly closed it.
Shane turned to look at his husband. “That was weird.”
Ilya just rolled his eyes. “Our son is weird, yes. Now come back to bed, moya lyubov. We need to see if Paddington gets out of jail!”
“You’ve literally watched this movie before,” Shane laughed as he climbed back into bed.
“Yes, but you haven’t. I do not want to spoil it,” Ilya said, pressing a kiss to his head as Shane curled against him.
“Thank you,” Shane smiled with his head on Ilya’s chest. “We have to take our masks off in 7 minutes though, okay?”
Ilya nodded, pressing play on the remote and resuming their movie.
——
Bood opened the door for Luca, who had a dazed look on his face.
“Oh no, they broke him,” Boyle worried.
“Shit, it must have been bad,” Troy whispered.
“What did you see, Haas?” Dykstra demanded.
“WERE THEIR ROPES?” Holmberg asked desperately.
Luca’s face shifted into something more confused than shocked. “They . . . weren’t doing anything sexual.”
Every single teammate’s jaw dropped. “WHAT?”
“But they had just had sex, right? Like that was clear?”
“Not even just making out or something?”
“Literally nothing,” Luca says shrugging. “They were watching a movie and doing face masks?”
“You’re kidding,” Bood said.
“There’s no way,” LaPointe breathed.
“I’m serious! Shane opened the door in a robe and one of those little bunny headband things, and Cap was in bed and the TV was on it….It looked like they were actually just having a lowkey night in.”
“Wait that’s kind of cute. They had a little hotel date-night,” Wyatt said, looking oddly tearful.
“Why are they so romantic?” Nick groaned (as he’d just lost $20 to Dykstra).
“The one time they’re not having crazy sex is the one time I was counting on it,” Troy groaned (as he had lost $50 to Boyle).
“I’m relieved,” Luca said, breathing heavily. “I was genuinely scared there for a minute.”
“Maybe Roz plays it up with all the sex jokes and they’re actually pretty normal?” Wyatt suggests.
“Yeah, maybe,” Nick agreed.
“Well . . . now we know,” Bood sighed. This had been some good, stupid fun, but the plan had ultimately backfired. While the husbands having a cozy date night was cute, it wasn’t exactly the juicy drama he’d been seeking out with all of this. “Let’s all get to bed. See you guys downstairs in the morning.”
——
(a few days later, after winning a home game against Boston)
“Damn, that was close!” Holmberg said as they entered the locker room.
“Yeah, I was a bit worried Roz would actually have to punish us for losing,” Dykstra said.
“You are very lucky this time, Dykstra,” Ilya smirked. “Narrowly escaped punishment.”
Bood smiled as he started taking off his gear. “Anyone want to go out tonight?”
A few of the guys spoke up, suggesting different bars.
“Hollanov, you in?” Bood asked, knowing the joint name would make Ilya beam and Shane roll his eyes.
“No, I think we’re gonna just gonna go home,” Shane said.
“Aw, have another cozy date night?” Luca asked sweetly.
“Ahh, no,” Ilya said with a teasing smile. Bood immediately tensed up — he knew that face. That was the face of Ilya Rozanov, Certified Menace. Whatever he was about to say next was not going to be about movies and face masks. “Need to go home and reward my husband for hat trick.”
“Oh,” Young choked, mid-sip of his gatorade.
“What do you think is fair reward, Hazy?” Ilya asked, as if he were asking the man what to order for dinner. “Should I let him ride me or--"
“I am not answering that,” Wyatt interrupted, and Ilya just laughed. Shane had his hands over his face, embarrassed but very much used to this behavior from his husband.
“Come on, moy kotonok, we will shower at home,” Ilya said, grabbing Shane’s hand and practically dragging the man out of the locker room.
The team watched as the door swung closed behind them. There was a moment of silence, as the team sat stunned, and then Bood spoke up with an evil grin on his face. “I dare someone to—“
“NO!” the whole team shouted back at him.