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Ellie is. So tired.
Don’t get her wrong, Ellie loves her job. It’s basically heisting but legal, and probably one of the only jobs in the world that could keep two former thieves such as herself and Henry satisfied for more than a year. It’s been almost two since they started, and Ellie doesn’t see herself gunning to leave any time soon.
Her friends are pretty cool too. Ellie had never liked working with other people before she met Henry- and Charles soon after- but the three of them make a pretty great team. It only took a few weeks for ‘Triple Threat’ to catch on as their group name around their military base.
Covert ops work can be pretty intense though, especially now that the Toppat Clan is pretty much completely rebuilt. It had been wishful thinking to assume they would dissolve after their spaceship plan was foiled, and many of the members broke out of The Wall only a few weeks later. They also managed to break Reginald and his right hand man out from where they were being kept, and they’ve been rebuilding the clan for the past two years.
The government did receive intelligence a few months ago that Sven Svensson is the leader again, and Burt Curtis is now his right hand, so it’s anyone’s guess as to where Reginald went.
All in all, Ellie is tired. Which is why she is so relieved that she and her two best friends finally have time to rest.
The general had actually been the one to propose they take this vacation. The three of them had stood in his office to debrief after their latest (successful, mind you) mission, Charles’ hair still singed from when his helicopter went down in flames, and he barely had to take one look at them before shoving a few PTO papers across his desk with a fond but tired sigh. Ellie never had a father, but Galeforce is kind of what she imagined one would be like.
And now she stands in the warm sun, soft white sand under her feet and best friends at her side, ready to take the best vacation she’s ever had.
“AAAAHHHHH!! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!”
Charles kicks the air, and a tiny blue crab goes flying from his toe before landing on Henry’s arm. He throws it at Ellie, and she flings it to the sand where it scuttles away.
Ellie will let the boys throw as many crabs as they want at each other after she lies down.
The lounge chair feels heavenly under her back, the palm trees above casting soft shade over her face. Charles sits down in the one beside her while Henry opts to simply lie face down in the sand. Ellie can respect that.
This resort is absolutely gorgeous. The general had actually been the one to find it for them, insisting they deserved a proper vacation instead of just two weeks of sitting on the couch in their shared apartment. Which was totally not what they were planning to do.
Ellie can’t wait to explore the rest of it. There’s two different pools, a swim up bar, jacuzzis everywhere, a spa…
She turns on her side, ready to catch up on two months worth of sleep, when she comes face to face with the former leader of the Toppat Clan.
Reginald blinks. Ellie blinks.
He’s lying on a lounge chair a few meters away, and they probably wouldn’t have even noticed each other if they didn’t happen to turn at the exact same time. He doesn’t have a top hat and is wearing some tacky Hawaiian shirt instead of his usual suit, but it is unmistakably him.
Ellie blinks again.
Reginald pulls out a gun.
“Woah woah woah!”
Five bodies immediately jolt into action. Ellie rolls behind the lounge chair and pulls out her own gun, Charles jumps to his feet, Henry aims his gun at Reginald, Reginald aims his at Henry, and Right Hand Man (of course he’s here too) pulls Reginald behind him. They’re thankfully far enough away from any other people that no one else will see them.
No one moves for a good few seconds.
Charles is the first to speak.
“So….” he asks cautiously. “Where were you guys keeping those guns..?”
No one speaks, so Charles continues.
“I’m, uh… I’m just asking because… Well, we’re not really supposed to have guns right now, since we’re off duty. Like I guess it makes sense for… well, exactly this situation, but… it would be kind of nice if you had let me know, you know? Safety, and all that.”
Reginald rolls his eyes. “This is ridiculous. You’re going to say something like ‘surrender now and we won’t shoot,’ we won’t surrender, we’ll fight for a bit, we’ll either escape or you’ll capture us, we’ll be brought back to some hack prison, and we’ll escape just like before. Chop chop, let’s get to it.”
Charles narrows his eyes.
“Orrrrrr….” Ellie draws out the sound, and aims her best puppy dog eyes at him. “We could just… pretend they’re not here?”
Charles sputters. “Ellie, we can’t just not do anything! These are the Toppat leaders!”
“Former Toppat leaders!” Henry points out, and thank god he’s on her side. “They’re not Toppating right now, are they?”
“I mean…”
“Yeah! And like, is it really worth it?” Ellie stands up, gun still drawn but not pointed at anyone. “Like they said, there’s a good chance we won’t even be able to catch them or they’ll just escape later. And we’re on vacation! We’re not even on duty!”
“It- it doesn’t matter if we’re not on duty, we’re still government employees! We have a responsibility!”
Reginald and Right watch the scene with mild amusement. They’re likely ready to start fighting at any moment, but for now Reginald and Henry are at a stalemate with their guns and they don’t move.
Right keeps his hand in front of Reginald protectively. It’s kind of sweet, actually.
“Henry, why don’t you look into the future real quick?” Ellie slowly points her own gun at Reginald, leaving Henry free. His eyes go distant for a few seconds, before he returns with a blink.
“We’ll be able to capture them,” he says. “But it’ll be a whole thing. The general will have to come and take them, the resort is gonna get shut down for a few days while an investigation happens…”
“No!” Ellie cries.
“And we’ll have to give statements and fill out paperwork! And by the time we’re done our vacation will be almost over, and then we’ll need to go do that operation we have scheduled on the 17th and-”
“No!”
Charles sighs. “Guys, I know it’s disappointing, but we don’t have a choice.”
“Of course the general’s golden boy would say that,” Ellie mutters. Charles whips his head around.
“Excuse me for not wanting to break the law! I know that’s a hard concept for you two to comprehend, but it’s not something you can just ignore whenever you don’t feel like it!”
Ellie can hear a British chuckle coming from the peanut gallery.
It seems a different tactic is needed. “My wrist isn’t fully healed yet, it still hurts!” Ellie exclaims. “What if I injure it even more in the fight, and then I can never use it again?”
“Your wrist healed two months ago!”
“It’s been a long process,” she says. Henry nods in agreement.
Charles lets out the most exhausted sigh Ellie has ever heard, and that’s saying something. “You climbed a rope using that very wrist four days ago!”
“Why do you think it’s hurting again?”
Charles buries his face in his hands with a frustrated scream. New tactic.
“Pleeease?” Henry begs. “We’ve only been here for five hours! And we were sleeping for four of those!”
“Pleeeeeeeese?” Ellie would clasp her hands together, but unfortunately she needs to keep the gun on Reginald. “Wasn’t our room so nice? I haven’t felt a bed that soft in- well, ever! And the view! The ocean is so prettyyyy it’s all green and blue and we haven’t even gotten to go in the water yet! Or try the spa! We need this vacation and you know it!”
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease?”
“Henry,” Ellie asks, “can you see the future if we just leave them alone?”
Henry goes distant for a few seconds. “I can only see the first few hours,” he admits, “since there’s too many possibilities after. But it’s fine for the first few hours!”
“That doesn’t sound reassuring at all!” Charles exclaims.
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?” Henry runs his hands along Charles’ arm, and he goes red. “Love of my life? The most handsome soldier in the entire military?”
“Henry, don’t-”
“Pleeeeeeeease?” Ellie bats her eyes at him. “My best friend ever, the most amazing and talented pilot to ever exist?”
“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”
”Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?”
“Fine!” Charles throws his hands in the air. “You guys win! We’ll pretend we never saw them!”
“Yes!” Ellie almost goes to hug him, but remembers she still has to keep the gun on Reginald.
“Why don’t we all just gently- gently- lower our guns?” Charles asks tentatively. “Yeah- yeah. Just like that.”
Three guns are slowly lowered to the ground
“Glad we could come to an agreement,” Reginald says.
“This never happened.” Charles bites out. “Got that? We never saw you two here, and this never happened. Plausible deniability, okay?”
“Got it,” Ellie says, and Henry holds out a thumbs up.
“Plausible deniability.”
______________________________________
“Henry Stickmin I will crush you don’t you dare-”
Henry grips the weapon in his hand. He can do this. It’s up to him.
“Do it Henry!” Ellie cries. “You have to!”
“I will end your entire bloodline!”
Henry pauses-
And then cackles as he slams the draw four card into the center of the pile.
“AAAAAAAGH!”
Henry and Ellie burst into hysteric laughter. “I don’t-” Ellie barely manages to get out between giggles. “I don’t suppose you have another draw four, do you Reginald?”
“You two are dead.” He bites. “Your little pilot is going to find your bodies in the ocean and wish he arrested me when he had the chance.”
Reginald starts drawing from the pile. And keeps drawing. When he’s finally done, he has a fresh 26 cards in his hand.
“This is your fault, you know.” Reginald tells Right. “If you hadn’t suggested we play with that blasted rule of allowing draw twos on draw fours, I wouldn’t be in this mess.”
“It’s more fun this way,” says Right. Reginald rolls his eyes.
“Retirement is over,” he says. “We need revenge. Call Svensson and tell him to get over here with as many weapons as will fit in the helicopters.”
“I like retirement.”
“Do you two want us to arrest you?” Ellie asks. Reginald sighs dramatically, and leans back in the sand.
“Didn’t think so,” Henry says. “Right, it’s your turn. New color is red.”
Right places down a red card, but as he does Henry catches sight of something. He gasps.
“Right, you’re married?”
Right looks down at his hand as if he’s confused as well. “Ah.”
“No way!” Ellie exclaims. “I mean, good for you, I just never expected you to be the type to get hitched. Who is oh my god Reginald is married too!”
Indeed, Reginald wears an identical golden wedding ring. How did they not notice this earlier?
“No way you’re both married.” Ellie says. “Who are your wives? Or- partners, I shouldn’t assume.”
Right sighs. “You cannot possibly both be this stupid.”
“What do you oh my god you’re married to each other!”
Reginald claps slowly. “Congratulations, girl. It took you long enough.”
“You’re married?” Henry asks incredulously. “Since when?”
“Since well before you snuck into our airship, boy.” Reginald says. “We just used to wear gloves with our suits back then.”
“I don’t believe it…” Ellie mutters. “That’s-”
“And just what do the two of you think you’re doing?”
A hand slams down in the middle of the woven table, and Henry looks up to see his boyfriend. His angry, but very cute boyfriend.
“Charles, they're married!” Ellie points to Reginald and Right’s hands in turn. “They’ve been married this whole time!”
“They’re what?” Anger forgotten, Charles places down the tray of food he was holding and plops down between Henry and Ellie. “How?”
“It’s quite simple, actually.” Reginald says with exasperation. “All it takes is a few papers, a pen, a witness and an officiant. I would think a government officer would be familiar with how common law marriage works."
“Woah…” Charles says. “That’s amazing! You guys are perfect together!”
“I know right!” Ellie exclaims. “Aren’t they adorable-”
“Wait a minute!” Charles slams his hand on the table again. “I was about to yell at you two!”
“I mean…” Henry says. “We can skip that part, if you want.”
“Why are you playing Uno with the former Toppat king?”
“Excelent question, my love. Do you want to play?” Henry takes his hot dog from the tray and unwraps the foil.
“I leave for ten minutes to get food, and when I get back you guys are playing Uno with the former Toppat king! I thought we went over this yesterday! What happened to plausible deniability? What happened to- no I don’t want to play!”
“Are you sure?”
Charles slaps his own face with his palm probably hard enough to cause damage. “We aren’t supposed to be talking to them!”
“I mean, they have just as much of a right to be here as we do.” Ellie says.
“They are criminals!”
“I meant besides that. They just happened to be here, and we happened to find an abandoned Uno deck in this cabana!”
Charles buries his face in his palms, and lets out a very familiar frustrated scream.
“We will not talk about anything even remotely related to any of our past and/or present occupations.” Charles says eventually. “Got it?”
“Got it!” four voices chorus in sync with varying levels of enthusiasm.
“Does that mean you’ll play?” Ellie asks.
Charles leans against Henry’s side, and sighs the type of sigh that only a man who has dealt with their antics for many years could.
“Deal me in next round.”
__________________________________
“So what’s retirement like?”
The Triple Threat and the former Toppat leaders are sitting at a restaurant table, munching on the most delicious seafood to ever grace Charles’ mouth. Charles will never admit it, but he is so glad he listened to Ellie and Henry. He probably would have ended up crying if they had to leave early.
Sigh… Where did his morals go?
Actually, he knows the answer to that. They were stolen by a handsome thief and his best friend about two years ago.
“Oh it’s wonderful, my boy!” Reginald replies. “We’ve been to so many places. The alps, Japan, Egypt, space, you name it! After this, we’re planning on-”
Reginald is cut off by Charles’ hands over his mouth.
“Don’t. You dare. Finish that sentence.”
Reginald blinks. Henry stifles a chuckle.
“You cannot tell us where you’re going next. If you tell us, we will be responsible for that information. If we’re responsible for the information, that’s just another thing we’ll be court-martialed for when our superiors inevitably find out about this! Why do none of you understand plausible deniability?”
“Sheesh, someone’s aggressive.” Reginald straightens his mustache. “Fine then, I won’t tell you. But you asked, mind you.”
Charles sighs. “I meant like- how’s it been so far, you know?”
“Ah. Well, we’ve been having a pretty good time. Exploring, traipsing, being married, the works. We’ve been doing a few heists every once in a while, just to keep our skills sharp.”
“Ooh!” Ellie exclaims. “Heists? Like what? Any good ones?”
Henry leans forward with interest. Charles slams his forehead into the table.
________________________________
“Sigh…” Ellie stretches out on the sand dramatically as the evening light washes over the beach. “And just like that, our wonderful vacation is over.”
Charles pats down the sand on her belly where he’s burying her. “Yeah… it was really nice, though. We need to do this more often.”
Henry leans against Ellie’s stomach, sighing as he gazes up at the sky. Reginald and Right are lounging on chairs, sipping their drinks.
The five of them spend a while longer relaxing in comfortable silence, before Charles speaks.
“Welp, time to go,” he says. “We need to get changed before we head to the airport. Come on, guys.”
Ellie and Henry groan, but Charles pulls them both up.
“So long Reg!” Ellie brushes the sand from her body, “So long Right! It was great to hang out with you guys when we weren’t trying to kill each other.”
“Yep,” Henry agrees. “Have fun being retired. Maybe adopt a cat or something.”
“You…” Charles hesitates. “You guys are actually pretty cool. Well, I know you’re technically evil, but plausible deniability.” He smiles. “I had fun. But hopefully we never see each other again.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Reginald says fondly. “It’s been great. Now get out of here, kids. Go do your jobs.”
Right salutes them, Reginald waves them off, and the three walk away.
And just like that, Reginald and Right Hand Man are alone once more.
“Good kids.” Reginald says.
“Mm,” Right replies. “They would have made good Toppats.”
“Wouldn’t they?” Right’s husband takes him by the hand, and they start walking down the beach. “If Henry hadn’t gotten us arrested back then, I totally would’ve asked him to join. Ellie’s certainly a gifted thief as well, and- what was his name?”
“Charles.”
“Right, right. Best pilot I’ve ever seen, that one. Remember when he did that crazy barrel roll in the air while you were shooting at his helicopter? That was pretty impressive. Definitely could’ve been useful to have someone like that.”
“Mm. Too loyal to the military, though. He’d never’ve joined.”
“Eh, you never know, anything can happen. You’re probably right, though.” Reginald leans into Right with a sigh. “Ellie and Henry though, we definitely could’ve got them.”
“Oh, absolutely. Missed opportunity there. In another timeline, perhaps.”
“Perhaps,” Reginald says. The warm water softly washes over his bare feet as he and his husband walk across the sand. “But I’m pretty happy with this one.”