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Here Buck sat, he had just gotten off a shift, he was covering for someone on B-Shift, so he had only worked from 6 am to 6 pm. The shift was qu- calm. So, naturally, he had a lot of time for some self reflection. The self-reflection in question? Not important, but after his shift he found himself sitting in a BJ’s parking lot. He got out of his jeep and walked into the restaurant. He wasn’t a stranger to taking himself out on solo dates, he enjoyed them actually. He walked up to the hostess stand.
“Hi there hon,” said the hostess, an older lady with a kind face. “You have a reservation?”
“Oh, ah, no, are you guys booked out? I just needed a table for one.” Buck explained.
“Oh sure! I was just wondering honey, c’mon, would you like a booth, a table, or would you like to sit at the bar?” she asked as she grabbed a menu and started leading him through the restaurant.
“Oh, uhm, a booth please.”
“Sure thing.” She smiled and brought him to a booth. She placed the menu down, “Your server will be with you shortly honey.”
“Thank you.” Buck sat down and opened the menu to start looking through what he might want. He hummed as he opened the drink menu, he hummed as he flipped through different beers. When he comes here with Eddie, they usually get a new beer to try. But Eddie wasn’t with him this time. And, well, he didn’t want to break the tradition of getting a beer with Eddie so he settled on an orange cream soda.
“Hi there!” says a cheerful, male server. “My name is Grant and I’ll be your server tonight!” He looked at Buck, “Oh! I remember you, where’s your boyfriend?”
“I- oh, hi Grant.” Buck smiled, everytime he comes here with Eddie, Grant is always their server. “I- oh.” He didn’t correct Grant’s assumption on them being together. He never did. “Eddie’s with Christopher.” He explained
“Oh! Well, in that case, what can I get started for you Buck?” Grant asked.
“Uhm, an orange cream soda please.”
“No beer this time?”
“Oh, hah, no, uh, Eddie’s not here, we like to try beers together.” Buck said with a smile.
“Ohh, aww that’s so cute. Oh my gosh, well, I’ll go get this in, do you want an appetizer too?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah sure, I’ll do the chips, salsa and guac please.” Buck said.
“Gotcha! I’ll be back in a sec with your drink and appetizer.” Grant smiled and he walked away.
Buck watched him walk away and pulled his phone out. He opened his messages, his thumb hovered over his text thread with Eddie before he went down and opened his and Ravi’s texts.
BUCKet: Hey Raviiiiiii
Ravioli: Oh nah, what do you want
BUCKet: wowwww okay I see how it is
Ravioli: what do u want
BUCKet: i miss him
Ravioli: omfg shut up
BUCKet: u suck
Just as Buck sent that text, Grant came back and set down his drink, chips and salsa. He immediately took a sip of his drink, “Thanks Grant.” He smiled
“You’re welcome Mr. Diaz.” Grant smiled. “Are you ready to order yet? Or do you need a minute?”
“I- uh, yeah, I need a bit more, uhm, t-time with the menu.” Buck gave a small smile, but his brain was reeling from being called a Diaz. That made his heart hurt.
“Okay, I’ll come back in about ten minutes.” And with that, Grant walked away.
Buck immediately pulled his phone out and saw Ravis message.
Ravioli: you really need to ask him out or something
Ravioli: as much as i love giving u shit for how long you’ve been like, yearning for him, its a little sad buck
BUCKet: omfg i need to DIE
BUCKet replied to a message: shut up that’s the last thing i need to do he’d hate me if i did that
Ravioli: omg no he wouldnt
Ravioli replied to a message: what happened why do u need to die
BUCKet: im fuckin at BJ’s and eddie and i come here all the time but im here alone right?
Ravioli: ur there alone? Ur a loser but go on
BUCKet: bro shut up
BUCKet: anyway the server i have is the on that eddie and i ALWAYS get and he has both called eddie my boyfriend AND he called me mr diaz
BUCKet: it made me miss him more and make me yearn for him oh my god
Ravioli: HELLO?
Ravioli: thats so fucking funny you need to ask him out now omfg
BUCKet: die right now
Ravioli: no cause then who would put up w/ ur bs with eddie
BUCKet: oh look my food just got here gotta go
Buck put his phone away, he had been lightly snacking on the chips when Grant came back, “Have you decided on an entree yet?”
“Oh, yeah I have, I’ll do the american smash burger, no tomato and then can you add bacon to it?” Buck asked.
“Yeah of course! I’ll go get that in for ya.” Grant said and walked away with Buck’s order written on his little notebook and the menu.
Buck sighed and picked up his phone, seeing 4 texts from Ravi and one from Eddie. He opened the one from Eddie first.
SpagEddie: Yo, are you doing anything right now? Chris is at a sleepover
BUCKet: yeah, im at BJ’s rn but I can come over after
SpagEddie: Wow, you’re at BJ’s without me? I’m wounded Buck. But that sounds good, I’ll see you after
BUCKet: Yeah, yeah, whatever, see ya later Ed’s
SpagEddie reacted with a thumbs up to a message
Buck let out a shaky breath then opened his and Ravi’s messages.
Ravioli: BUCK WAIT
Ravioli: at least order me a pizookie as compensation god
Ravioli: buck ik ur not eating yet u didn’t send me a pic of ur food
Ravioli: OMG buck answer ur phone im bored
BUCKet: oh NOW you wanna talk
BUCKet: also no i’m going to eddies after this
Ravioli: OMG DID YOU ASK HIM OUT?!
BUCKet: omg no u fucking idiot im just going over to have beer with him
Ravioli: so lame, whatever man
Ravioli: but next time u go to BJ’s after shift then invite me!!!
BUCKet: the next time i don’t go with eddie, i’ll invite u but my food fr just got here, i’ll send a pic in a sec
Ravioli: huzzah! Okay have fun loser
Buck rolled his eyes and looked up as Grant brought his food and set it down. “Is there anything else you need?”
“Uh, maybe some ketchup.” Buck said with a hum. Grant gave a nod and grabbed a bottle of ketchup.
“I’ll be back to check on you in a bit.” Grant then left and Buck took a picture of his food and sent it to Ravi. He started to eat, thinking over the shift he just had. They barely ran on any calls, which meant all he could think about was Eddie. He sighed and just focused on his food, he was thinking about ordering a pizookie for himself. He finished his food and picked up his phone to scroll through instagram. He was soon interrupted by Grant.
“Hey, let me get these out of your way, were you thinking about any dessert?” Grant asked as he gathered all the plates.
“Oh, yeah- yes please.” Buck replied, putting his phone down.
“Alright, I’ll come back with a dessert menu.”
“Oh, no, I don’t need one, I just want to do the regular chocolate chunk cookie pizookie please.”
“Perfect, I’ll go ring that in.” Grant took the plates and disappeared. Buck nodded and opened his phone to text Ravi.
BUCKet: im getting a pizookie ill send u a pic once i get it
Ravioli: bastard
Buck rolled his eyes and about ten minutes later he had a pizookie in front of him. He took a picture of it and opened his instagram. He posted the picture with the song, Dance, Dance by Fall Out Boy playing and put ‘Sweet treat time’ on the story. He then sent the picture to Ravi and started to eat.
As he ate his pizookie, all he could think about was Eddie. His face, his eyes, his arms around him when they would hug. He bit his lip as he felt the familiar overwhelming sensation of tears and pure want and need overtook him. He felt the familiar burn of tears well up. God wasn’t he pathetic? He could feel the hot tears slowly spill over. He was crying over his straight best friend. He wanted Eddie, not just sexually.
He wanted Eddie emotionally, romantically. He wanted to be wanted by someone. He blinked rapidly and wiped at his eyes furiously. This was stupid, he was stupid. He finished his pizookie, took a picture of the now empty skillet and opened instagram. He made a second story, with the picture, he added the song What Was I Made For by Billie Eilish. He added a different caption that said, ‘I need him more than oxygen lmfao’ and posted it to his close friend's story. He rubbed at his eyes even more and pulled out his wallet. He waved Grant over.
“Here.” Buck pulled out three twenty dollar bills and handed them to Grant. “Does this cover my bill?”
“I- uhm, yes, it's actually more than I need.” Grant said.
“Keep it.” Buck said, he grabbed his phone and left. He got in his jeep and slammed the door shut. He put his head in his hands and sobbed. He was stupid, he was so fucking stupid. He ran a hand through his hair and grabbed some and just pulled. Hard. He shuddered and sat up. He opened his phone and saw eight messages from Ravi and three from Eddie. He stared at the ones from Eddie, he almost opened the ones from Eddie, almost, he didn’t. He opened the ones from Ravi instead.
Ravioli: omg that looks so good im salivating.
Ravioli: bruh fr?
Ravioli: dance dance by fall out boy, u know ball apparently
Ravioli: omg answer ur phone im lonely
Ravioli: why r u ignorning me bruh
Ravioli: ur ass on insta i see the active now bs on ur acc
Ravioli: yikes that bad?
Ravioli: buck answer me or im driving to bjs myself to pick u up
BUCKet: omfg im fine
BUCKet: god forbid a whiteboy yearn a little jesus
Ravioli: buck
Ravioli: my guy
BUCKet: ravi.
BUCKet: i have no chance so drop it
Buck swiped out of his and Ravi’s messages. He stared at his and Eddie’s text thread before he opened it.
SpagEddie: Still coming over?
SpagEddie: Who are you talking about on your story?
SpagEddie: Tt better not be Tommy, he is not worth your time buck there are so many other men out there who want and are more deserving of your time, women too.
BUCKet replied to a message: yeah just left the restaurant ill be there soon
BUCKet replied to a message: and no i wasn’t talking abt tommy ik hes not worth it
SpagEddie: Then who were you talking about?
BUCKet: no one ill be there soon
Then Buck put his phone down and started driving to Eddie's house. His mind was racing and his heart still felt so heavy. He ignored every buzz from his phone. How could he forget that Eddie was on his close friend's story? He kept driving, he couldn’t think about how he possibly just ruined his friendship with Eddie. He pulled into the Diasz driveway twenty minutes later and walked to the front door. He didn’t even get the chance to knock before Eddie was yanking the door over.
“Buck.” Eddie breathed.
“Hey, you good? You look all…disheveled.” Buck frowned.
“I’m fine Buck, are you okay?”
“Yeah man, I’m fine.” Buck frowned. Eddie nodded and stared at Buck for a second, “Are you gonna let me in? If not the-” Buck was cut off by a kiss. His eyes went wide and he pulled back a little. “Wha- I-”
“You’re story, it was about me wasn’t it?”
“I- what- Eddie what- I- yeah it was how-”
“Ravi, he texted me.” Eddie looked at him, “This is new, loving a man, well. That’s not new, but accepting it is.” He let out an awkward laugh. “But…I have loved you for years. I want you to know that. No, I need you to know that.”
“I- Eddie you don’t have to pity me. Rav- He shouldn’t have texted you.” Buck said,
I don’t want you to feel forced to love me. I cannot handle that.”
“Buck, Eavn, loving you, is the easiest thing I have ever done. You posted that picture to that song by Billie Eilish. Do you know what you were made for? Love. An abundance of it. So much love.” Eddie cupped his face. “I love you.”
“I-I love you too…” Buck’s voice broke as he spoke, tears making themselves known and falling down his face. Eddie pulled him close and kissed him. It was soft, gentle, full of love and affection. Buck kissed back.
Maybe going out by himself was a good idea.
Bucks phone buzzed and he pulled away. He saw a new text from Ravi.
Ravioli: you owe me a fucking pizookie