Work Text:
Jinyoung was a few days off from turning one when his parents were awoken in the middle of the night when they heard his loud cry. Scrambling into his room with worry, they had soothe their child, wondering what was wrong.
Jinyoung was a well behaved child, quiet and cooperative, and they were frantic over the cause over the issue.
A flash of yellow caught their eye and they turned his wrist gently over to find 214 branded on the inside in saffron yellow.
Jinyoung is not even a year old when he first comes into contact with his soulmate.
~
Jinyoung was five when he asks about the numbers on his wrist.
His Mother smiles at him and tells him that it represented whoever his soulmate was.
“Somewhere out there there’s someone with the same set of numbers as you, Jinyoung.”
She had gazed at her child lovingly, wishing that whoever his soulmate would be would love him as much she does one day.
“When you find each other, the numbers on your wrist will become their name. You’re destined to be together, and I promise they’ll love you very much.”
His mother had pulled out a book from the shelf, and had spent the afternoon reading it out to him softly.
“…and the prince married the princess and they lived happily ever after.”
Jinyoung went to bed that night looking at the saffron digits on his wrist wishing that he would meet his soulmate and they would live happily ever after like the character in those stories.
~
When Jinyoung had just turned twelve, he had witnessed a pair of soulmates meeting each other.
He had been waiting for the light to turn green so he could cross the road, glancing at the other side to see if the light was blinking yet. A girl rushed across hurriedly, slamming into the chest of a young man, who had looked down in concern.
Both of them clutched at their wrists when the girl gazed up to meet his eyes, and his mother had smiled brightly next to him.
“Look, Jinyoung. A pair of soulmates have met each other.”
Jinyoung watched as the girl had introduced herself to the young man, clearly flustered and uncomfortable.
He thinks back to all the fairy tales he read when he was younger and remembers his thoughts about finding his soulmate and if it meant living happily ever after.
But he watched a soft smile spread on both of the pair’s faces as the male pulled out his phone and hands it to the other girl. She presses some keys and hands it back to him.
They’re both nervous and young, but they’re willing to try.
Jinyoung smiles at the 214 on his wrist and decides that he can’t wait to meet whoever his soulmate is.
~
Jinyoung is fifteen when he auditions for JYP.
He sings and when he’s summoned to the office. Inside, there’s two chairs in front of a desk and Jinyoung watches the impassive face of the man behind the desk.
Park Jinyoung, head of JYP entertainment.
One of the chairs is already occupied by another boy, with sharp features and a stoic expression.
He sits down uneasily next to the other boy, shocked when the CEO’s face breaks into a smile and tell the two of them that they have both passed their auditions.
The other boy turns to look at him when they have both left the room, and reaches a hand out for him to shake.
His name is Im Jaebum. Jinyoung tests the way the name feels and sees a small grin come onto the other’s face, highlighting his boyish features that he’ll grow out of someday.
Jinyoung declares that they were friends now so that they should stick together. Jaebum didn’t have any objections.
And that was the start of their friendship.
~
In a week, Jinyoung learns that Jaebum doesn’t have numbers.
He looks at the numberless wrist of the other, seeing the jealous gaze of Jaebum on his own saffron digits.
The 311 hung between silently, a barrier in their barely began friendship.
Jinyoung offers Jaebum a smile and tell him it’s okay.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this, it means a lot.”
Jaebum smiles softly back at him
“Thanks, Jinyoung.”
Jinyoung feels his heart flutter in his chest, and shoves the feeling down.
~
It’s only two week later when Jinyoung packs his bags to leave for the airport. In less than a week, he’d be living in the dorms with other trainees and Jaebum.
He’s at the airport and waiting for his flight when he sees the digits on his wrist.
On his wrist is a saffron 29.
Guilt slams into JInyoung as he looks at the measly numbers. He hadn’t even thought about his soulmate in the past month, busy with his audition and then the acceptance of JYP.
He wonders if whoever they are thinks about him too.
His flight is called and his stands up, breathing out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding.
He takes another look at the numbers on his wrist, pondering if he should chase after the numbers and have the happily ever after he always desired.
He thinks of the life he has in JYP and Jaebum.
He boards his flight.
~
One day when Jinyoung was sixteen, he finishes off his routine and glances across the training room. Through the countless messy limbs he meets Jaebum’s eyes. The stare the other boy has on him is smothering.
Jinyoung watches as Jaebum swallows heavily when he meets his gaze and turns his head away shyly.
His eyes sketch over the growing features of his friend, his best friend, and Jinyoung’s throat suddenly feels choked up.
~
Jinyoung is seventeen when it’s announced he’s going to debut as a half of a duo.
The other half of the duo is Jaebum.
The two of them cheer loudly, under the amused gaze of JYP.
Jinyoung turns to Jaebum, feeling lighter than what he’s remembered for a while. He sees the badly concealed excitement sparking in Jaebum’s eyes, and the wide smile he gives Jinyoung makes his pulse spike.
Jaebum is all sharp edges and gruff expressions, but he watches the other drop his cool composure and give Jinyoung a smile he knows is reserved for him only.
He wonders if he’s already living in his happily ever after.
~
A few months off from his eighteenth birthday, JJ project’s MV is dropped.
It’s past midnight and he’d going back to his shared room with Jaebum, giddy at watching the release of the MV of “Bounce”.
He’s barely made it into the room when he feels his chin being tilted up and a pair of lips cover his own.
He squeaks in surprise,frozen in shock for a moment before coming back his wits and pushing away from the culprit, Jaebum.
His best friend looks up with almost desperation in his eyes.
“Don’t tell me you don’t feel it Jinyoung. We both have feelings for each other. What’s stopping us?”
Jinyoung breaths in, looking at Jaebum with wide eyes.
He runs away.
~
Jinyoung calls his mother afterwards, fear bubbling in his heart as he confesses that he didn’t want to push Jaebum away for a moment.
His mother is sympathetic and her voice is full of love when she comforts him.
“Jinyoung, it’s okay. I just want you to be happy okay? Just follow your heart, If your heart is telling you to go with Jaebum then there’s nothing wrong okay?”
When the call ends, Jinyoung curls up and thinks.
He thinks about Jaebum and his smile when Jinyoung had accepted that he didn’t have numbers.
He thinks about Jaebum’s dark gaze across the room and how his felt his throat run dry after they had met eyes.
He thinks about the desperation in Jaebum’s eyes after Jinyoung had pushed him away, about how he had to stop himself from pulling him back in.
He thinks about all he knows about his soulmate, virtually nothing but the how far they are away from him.
He thinks about how he knows Jaebum better than anybody else and Jaebum knows him better than anybody else.
Jinyoung takes a deep breath.
He wonders if clinging onto his soulmate is really a good idea.
He believes Jaebum is worth letting go of that for.
Agony flares on his wrist and he looks at where he know the saffron digits, now a 311, to find the yellow fading.
Sudden horror spikes up in him, all of his previously gain faith in the idea of him and Jaebum falling apart.
He clutches at his wrist in pain, thinking about the pain he would and have already cause the person with the same set of numbers.
He’s not sure he can willingly do that to someone, especially since fate has already decided that they were connected.
He thinks about the fantasy, the happily ever after he had always built in his mind after learning about his soulmate.
He thinks about the time he had chosen to leave his soulmate behind at the airport, wondering if he would be in this situation if he had just chased after them.
He thinks about the person who has the same set of numbers as him, and wonders if they think about him too.
He decides to take a chance.
A sob wrecks through him as he makes up his mind.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
He whispers to the numbers on his wrist, tears flowing freely down his face now.
He won’t, can’t, give up on his soulmate just yet.
Jinyoung curls up tighter into himself and continues to cry even as saffron floods back into the digits.
Jinyoung wants his happily ever after, but at the age of seventeen he learns that it’s not as easy to get as he always imagined it to be.
~
Jinyoung tells Jaebum he’s sorry the next day.
He watches Jaebum’s face fall and Jinyoung screws his eyes shut.
He doesn’t want to see more.
Jaebum’s crestfallen face greets him when his opens them again, and Jinyoung feels like crying again if he hadn’t already run all of his tears dry the night before.
“…but why?” Jaebum sounds so confused, so heartbroken, that Jinyoung almost doubts his choice for a moment.
Jinyoung lift’s his arm up and shows him the saffron numbers that have been with him for as long as he can remember.
His heart sinks as Jaebum’s eyes darken and he turns on his heel to stalk out of the room angrily.
Jinyoung doesn’t stop him.
~
When Jinyoung is eighteen and they’re eight months into JJ project promotions, JYP calls them into his room.
He takes one look around the room feels fear begin to claw at his heart at the saddened and disappointed look on his face.
Jinyoung sits down on one of the chairs, next to an impassive Jaebum. He feels like he’s back in the day where they had passed their audition.
But he knows that it’s much more different this time.
He’s informed that chemistry between JJ project isn’t as well as they hoped for it to be, and Jinyoung can feel himself starting to go lightheaded.
He knows the atmosphere between the two of them had been tense since Jinyoung’s rejection, but he didn’t think it would be bad enough.
He barely hears JYP telling them that there are other factors as well, that they weren’t getting as much attention as they had originally estimated.
They’re told that they will be debuting again with an upcoming boy group, because JYP believed that they have potential to be great idols.
Just not with each other.
The unspoken words hang between them.
Both of them know the only reason they’re not split apart is because the fans wouldn’t like the sudden separation.
Jinyoung feels numb and wonders if his happily ever after will ever come as he looks at the 311 on the inside of his wrist.
~
It’s right after he steps out of the office, when he feels Jaebum turn to him.
“Don’t you dare.”
Jinyoung turns to him numbly, mind barely processing the words.
“Don’t you dare blame yourself, I’m as much to blame as you.”
Jinyoung chokes back a sob.
“I’m sorry, Jaebum.”
Jaebum to turns look at him, eyes soft.
“It’s okay, Jinyoung. I am too.”
He gives Jaebum a weak smile through watery eyes and watches as Jaebum smiles back.
~
Jinyoung is almost nineteen when he gets ready to meet the five trainees who will make up the rest of his new group.
He stands in the corridor, in front of the double doors that lead to the lounge within.
He feels a presence next to him and twists to look at Jaebum with a sigh.
He runs his eyes over the feature of his best friend, watches those features fall into a gruff expression.
Jinyoung turns back to the doors, reaching for the handles.
He walks in and sees five figures, eyes sliding over a pair that sit together, to a boy sitting next to them alone.
Their eyes meet and for a moment Jinyoung stops breathing.
He clutches at his wrist at the sudden flare of pain, seeing the other boy rip something off.
He finds a saffron Choi Youngjae branded in perfectly written letters.
Somewhere in the room, someone gasps and he can see Jaebum turning to him out of the corner of his eye.
He sees the heartbreak and realisation in the eyes he had once loved and jerks his head away to look at the boy, Youngjae, once more.
“Hey,” His soulmate whispers softly.
Jinyoung smiles at him.
+Bonus
Jinyoung’s twenty two when he finally realises what love feels like.
He’s passing by the practice rooms when he sees Youngjae sitting in one, a fond smile coming onto his face as he watches the soft features of the other shift into a small smile as he reads from his phone.
He’s in the room and wrapping his arms around Youngjae’s waist before he can think twice about it, smile growing wider when the other leans back into his touch.
“What are you doing?” He asks, his voice a soft whisper.
“Just thinking about how far we’ve come,” He hears before he feels Youngjae twisting back to look at him.
Jinyoung realises how much he doesn’t want a future without Youngjae and suddenly his throat closes up from all the words he wants to say.
“Your breath tickles,” He settles for instead, giggling softly.
He looks as Youngjae as he stands up and watches his subtle glance at the piano in the corner of the room.
“Play for me?” He requests, and smiles as Youngjae seats himself on the stool and begins to play.
He observes Youngjae as his plays the piano, slender fingers falling quickly and smoothly over the keys.
He doesn’t know what Youngjae finds in his gaze when he finishes playing but Jinyoung feels so warm and content and happy.
He knows that’s what love is and he feels free and open as he pulls Youngjae to his feet.
Jinyoung walks out of the room with a saffron Choi Youngjae on his wrist and thinks he’s finally found his happily ever after.