Chapter Text
Vampires didn’t love.
They were harmful beings, brute immortals with egos and most of the time, they didn’t even enjoy other vampires’ presences. But that wasn’t the case when it came to Jake.
Heeseung didn’t know how, or why, but whenever he was around Jake, the usual feeling of wanting to showcase his dominance as a stronger being didn’t manifest itself, almost at all.
He brushed it aside as a mere ‘enjoyable acquaintance’, because at the end of the day, how can someone immortal love? Immortality came with a clear price: love seemed pointless most of the time. Heeseung understood that by now: many years had passed since he was turned against his own will into a blood-sucker monster, and yes, he might’ve felt possessive or territorial over something or someone. But love? Love was complicated, and no matter how many years would pass, love will always remain an unsolvable riddle to him. Even in his human days, he never really settled down with anyone: maybe he fooled around, had his fun and all—but to actually date someone, for a long time? That didn’t only confuse Heeseung, but also scared him. He couldn’t promise to love someone till death did them part if he couldn’t die. Or could he?
Jake never showed any clear interest into interacting with Heeseung, just simple nods of respect in his way(given Heeseung’s higher ‘state’ in the pyramidal scheme of vampires, because he turned before him), and some rare conversations in which he would just comment on how annoying humans were beginning to be to catch. Unlike Heeseung, love hasn't even crossed Jake’s mind. Maybe it was because he never even fooled around in his human days, or maybe it was because he thought the whole thing was quite silly. Heeseung didn’t ask, but he observed: the way Jake rolled his eyes while ‘birdwatching’ for his next prey and seeing them be in a happy relationship, or the way his nose would scrunch up in disagreement when seeing other vampires date(even each other). Heeseung would never admit it, but he found Jake quite endearing: he was absolutely charming, and he was also quite nonchalant about any interference during his huntings. He was like a gorgeous poisonous apple: you can admire the way it shines into the morning sun, but eating it will more than definitely drive you to your death.
Heeseung wanted to bite and chew into the apple, or even just be able to hold it for a bit before being dragged away by the venom, but his pride wouldn’t allow it. It never will. Vampires were greedy and prideful beings: he wouldn’t have been happy with just one bite, he needed to eat the whole fruit to feel fulfilled.
It didn’t matter anyway, either it was obsession or infatuation, Heeseung never explored his chances with Jake either way. They were just two other vampires who happened to talk every blue moon, that’s as far as he could describe it.
Or so he thought.
Lately, Jake had started showing some sort of interest in Heeseung—or more precisely, Heeseung’s way of hunting. Heeseung was amazing in anything he did, but hunting? He bloomed more and more every time. Jake had noticed: he wasn’t as observant as Heeseung was, but that didn’t mean he looked the other way when something interesting was happening in front of his eyes. So, subtly, he began asking his elder for advice: should I play around with the prey? should I do this or that? Heeseung was quietly delighted by the younger’s sudden willingness to talk to him, and he didn’t waste any chances every time Jake struck up a conversation with him. It was still low-key: Jake wasn’t one to ‘become friends’.
But the two had slowly become more than simple acquaintances. They started hanging around(it was strictly just Jake asking for advice!), hunting together (again, just Jake needing help from Heeseung) and sometimes they had other conversations as well, about the new human habits, or the new fashion styles(Jake was convinced that humans just recycled styles over the years) and in the end, even their lives before being turned. Jake’s cold edges started melting, not completely; Heeseung’s newfound sense of infatuation just became deeper, and more apparent to maybe everyone but himself. Heeseung would hunt down and save the blood to share with Jake, or just completely gift the meal to him.
Jake would shrug it off as just platonic care, and for some time so did Heeseung. But the petals came slowly, like the slow passing of winter into the warmer spring. Heeseung was sure that given his immortal state, he couldn’t love, nor die. And, for the most of it, he couldn’t actually die: unless killed.
The first light pink petal came one random night, settling his fate, whilst he was listening to the sound of the singing crickets one full moon. His throat had been feeling ticklish all day, and he thought that by hunting something down, it would calm down.
But he was mistaken.
When he coughed up, the tension in his neck from the ticklish feeling eased greatly, but he felt something mushy budge his tongue, and he quickly spat it out. He couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw a delicate petal gracefully swirl to the ground. The irony of such a paradox didn’t go lost on him: a predator such as him, coughing up a bouquet of gentle looking flowers. Perhaps his latest victim had some weird coagulation in their blood? He couldn’t even remember the possible blood-diseases humans could have.
He didn’t tell anyone, after all, most of his kind kept to themselves.
The next night didn’t go as easy on him: he felt suddenly tired, like he wanted to sleep but…he simply couldn’t. Vampires weren’t designed to feel fatigue, nor sleepiness.
Jake noticed. Of course he did. He immediately saw the way Heeseung opted for a retreat instead of doubling down on their new-found victim. Wait. When had he(Jake) let it go as far as hunting together? Hence, he didn’t follow Heeseung into the forest when the guy ran for it. He questioned it for the rest of his hunting, but didn’t voice his thoughts: concern showed attachment, and attachment resulted in manipulation and fragility. Jake wasn’t a proud vampire, but he wasn’t a humble one either: a balanced monster.
Heeseung could still feel the metallic taste of blood on his lips as he scrammed through the forest, his usual speed nowhere to be seen or felt. He stopped at the tree he usually observed the moon from, doubling over as his lungs physically ached all over, and his hand immediately ran to his chest, squeezing the fabric of his clothes, tearing the cloth by the amount of pressure into his fist.
One cough. Another one. He aggressively spat towards the ground, once more seeing the petal: not one, but multiple. Enough to shape a hand-sized apple out of.
The delicate color of the petals was altered by a darker shade of red: his own blood. After centuries of coldness, Heeseung felt his hair stand up on the back of his neck. Wasn’t he basically a walking corpse? Why did he still have blood to spit? But more importantly, what the hell was happening? He stood up to his full height, head still tilted down to observe the weird concoction in front of his eyes.
Petals. Blood. The perfect balance between grace and pure gore.
He took a deep breath before using his foot to cover the bloody mess with fallen, dry leaves.
He ran a hand through his hair, before jumping onto the highest branch of the tree, to observe the only stable thing in his life: the moon. He’d always been completely taken by the beauty of it. But just tonight, it not only looked so far from him, but also cold. He knew the moon wasn’t warm, but it usually felt more comforting to look at. Tonight it just felt shallow.
Jake came back after a while. As he walked by Heeseung’s tree, the strong smell of iron hit his nose: blood. This blood didn’t smell good, like a human’s. It almost smelt nauseatingly horrific. He decided to ignore it for now, also climbing on Heeseung’s branch.
“You didn’t hunt all the way down, tonight.” the younger noted, his voice fully neutral like usual.
Heeseung didn’t move his eyes from the moon, but his not-beating heart ached just like his lungs prior. Something about the coldness and neutrality in Jake’s tone suddenly didn’t go unnoticed like usual. Heeseung didn’t expect worry from him, that would’ve been foolish, but he still felt…hurt.
He also felt angry with himself. He had allowed himself to actually explore the possibility of love, even just distantly, and now he was feeling sorrowful because of Jake’s usual tone? Goodness, he was feeling so stupid. Jake would’ve never ever looked at Heeseung in any way if not as a mere person he knew. But then why, why did Heeseung want Jake to care for him? Why did he care so much? Why? Since when had he allowed himself the pleasure of wanting? Of needing?
“I wasn’t hungry” Heeseung simply replied, his throat feeling eerily dry even though he had just recently spat up his own blood.
Jake didn’t reply, his eyes gliding down Heeseung’s features. He quickly looked away. Heeseung’s eyes quickly switched to Jake before looking at the satellite once more.
He can’t allow himself to fall further down this stupid rabbit hole. The two remained in silence for the rest of the night. Jake’s mind was blank, but Heeseung’s was traveling at light speed, searching in his long memory for the core of when. When had he allowed himself to fall for Jake? The silence was anything but comforting to him. His breathing was shallow, rugged, but his mind was anywhere else but there, on the branch of that tree.
Heeseung had dared to bite into the apple, but now he was choking on the juices.
After that incident, he tried putting up a distance with Jake, but he wasn’t able to do so. He sabotaged himself at any given time. Days passed, weeks, or months. Time never really mattered to immortals, anyway.
But the flowers didn’t stop. If anything, they doubled in presence. And so did Heeseung’s fatigue.
Jake had even dared asking what was up with him(he didn’t actually ask, he just stated that there was something wrong with him), but Heeseung didn’t have it in him to answer. If anything, he just ignored any time Jake tried approaching him. His undeniable infatuation had turned into endearment and…further into love.
How could he be so cruel? Not only to himself, but everything that is living.
Not only was he sure that Jake didn’t reciprocate, he was also sure that whatever feeling Jake might feel towards him was…just respect, and neutralness. He didn’t want for them to simply be acquaintances. Heeseung was never much of a romantic, but oh how he wished to do all the silly things he’d seen humans do with their partners. How could a heart that had stopped beating so long ago, still feel an ounce of love towards someone? Even more, another immortal.
Jake didn’t value feelings, and he pretty much thought that Heeseung was on the same page, and that just suffocated the latter even more in blooming flowers.
He knew he was a sinner, a horrible monster: so how could he still even daydream of such a gentle emotion as love? The pressure inside his lungs only became graver over time: he felt as though the wings he had never owned to begin with had been brutally torn off every time Jake so much as looked at him with indifference. He had never felt so much despair in his life, and he had lived a long time. He was just digging further and further into hatred with every passing moon. The petals never stopped. Neither did the blood. Heeseung had stopped questioning where it came from, since his heart had stopped pumping it a long time ago.
Every time he looked at the mix, he felt disgusted. In himself, in Jake, and the venom that filled his veins.
It seemed that everything he’d ever once enjoyed was turning against him. Even things as basic as hunting, in which he succeeded greatly, started becoming such a burden and hassle on his weakened body.
After seeing the weakness in Heeseung, Jake stopped coming completely. The flowering vampire thought that, perhaps, Jake had seen this as his actual true side: a weak vampire, unable to even hunt his prey. Heeseung knew that the younger vampire didn’t loathe him or anything: he(Heeseung) was simply not useful to him anymore.
That somewhat brought comfort and pain at the same time to Heeseung. Comfort, because maybe his lungs would’ve stopped being a botanical garden, and pain because nowadays, too weak to hunt as usually as he did, Jake was the only ray of moonlight in his lonely, silent nights. Heeseung still dared to admire the moon, but months ago, it had stopped bringing him comfort.
And so did Jake.
In the end, Heeseung was just another admirer of the moon: but he shall never be able to even touch it.
And so, the fate of the vampire had been concluded. It’s said that perhaps, he’s probably still admiring the moon from afar, coughing up blood and petals at his unrequited love that he shall mourn for eternity.
But eternity wasn’t nice: it was a curse far too cruel, even towards ruthless monsters such as him.
Heeseung died: he didn’t die a hero, or someone worth remembering, but he died for something he’d never even considered worth: love.
Love was forever a curse, Heeseung just so happened to fall into its graces and for it to be unrequited. He died surrounded by nothing and no one, a lone vampire of the night, surrounded by blood and gory petals, both things that didn’t represent his nature at all: both things are pure, he wasn’t.
He was born pure, died pure, and in the curse that was both love and immortality, died impure.
Blasphemous.
Curseful.
And so, this showed how tales do not always tell the truth: he didn’t get his happily ever after, like Snow White, even though both had bitten into a poisonous apple. One was just lucky enough to actually be adored and lovable. And that wasn’t Heeseung.