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Bird by Bird

Summary:

Speaking of Hollander, what was it like training with him this summer?

Wow. Hollzy is intense, you know. Everyone knows. Always pushing harder, pushing for more, nagging about diet. But it paid off, don’t you think?

You do look ready for the season. Spending so much time with him, did you learn anything new about him?

New? Yes. You know he is bird watcher now.

 

A little ficlet inspired by this video of Kevin Hayes trolling Sidney Crosby.

Notes:

This is a tiny little ficlet following the events of my fic Captain vs Captain but you don't need to read it to read this, just know that 1. Shane and Ilya are together and training together and 2. they are both little shits.

This is all I have in mind so far in this universe; I don't know if there will be more, sorry people who were excited for season 2

Thanks to my amazing discord for sharing the inspirational video and egging me on

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

How do you feel about the Bears’ chances going into the season?

Amazing. We are going to dominate. Win all games. Destroy all other teams.

So you don’t think the Voyageurs are going to do a repeat?

Voyageurs are finished. Bears will maul them.

You’re going to maul your good friend Shane Hollander?

Hollzy is hockey player first, friend second. We will avenge title stolen from us.

Speaking of Hollander, what was it like training with him this summer?

Wow. Hollzy is intense, you know. Everyone knows. Always pushing harder, pushing for more, nagging about diet. But it paid off, don’t you think?

You do look ready for the season. Spending so much time with him, did you learn anything new about him?

New? Yes. You know he is bird watcher now.

A bird watcher?

Yes, you know, likes to identify birds.

How did he get into birding? Did he tell you?

I was there! We go running every other day. Hollzy hates running.

Hates? Why?

He like everything to be competition. But he cannot compete in running. Legs are too short. It is very frustrating for him. So he stops and looks at birds. Point them out to me, looks them up in app. It is a good strategy because now if he loses he can say ‘oh, I stopped to look at the bird, maybe I would have won’.

So you were racing every time you went running?

I was not. I am not as competitive as Hollzy. He makes everything into a competition. You have seen show, maybe? I am fine with just running, but he always has to bet on who wins, challenge, you know? And he is sore loser. Always pouting.

So he is looking bird up in app so I start teasing him, asking ‘what is this bird? What is that bird?’ and making chirp when he does not know.

But he is very competative! He starts spending more and more time on app, finds out app has game for study, like you know, card, you flip over?

Flashcards?

Sure. So he plays this bird flashcard game. Of course he does not do well! He is new at bird identification. But he gets such a low score, gets so frustrated. Stays up half of the night trying to beat this game.

Did he get good at it?

Of course. Hollzy is persistent. Does not give up. He gets perfect score finally, shows me so excited. But then we go for our run again and I see a bird in the tree and I ask ‘Hollzy, what is that bird, you are now bird expert?’ and he does not know what it is! It looks different from the picture, it is harder to identify when it is moving, it is only staying for a moment then is flying away.

Hollzy is so frustrated! He spent so much time on app but now can’t identify one bird! I tell him ‘it is okay, bird in picture different than bird in tree, just need practice.’ So, of course, Hollzy practice. This is who he is, you know? Practice until perfect at hockey, until perfect at identifying bird. Now he is always stopping on runs to look at birds, does not get as much exercise as me, so now I will win cup because Hollzy is distract with birds. I make him watch that movie, you know ‘Big Year’ about birders, tell him, ‘how many birds have you seen?’ Maybe he will quit hockey now to have a ‘big year’? Already he buy very expensive binoculars, have ’24’ what do you call it, carved into side?

Embossed?

Okay, yes, embossed. Very nice, very expensive embossed binoculars.

So you’re saying Hollander is so distracted by birding he didn’t train enough?

I don’t know, maybe. We will see when Bears win cup, eh?

.

Rozanov said you got into birding this summer?

Oh, did he? [laughs] You know, he came to visit me at my summer cottage and, I think, the first night we were sitting around the fire and we heard a loon call. Of course it’s a very common thing in Canada, but I guess they don’t have loons in Russia and people tell me it’s pretty eerie if you’ve never heard it before. He jumped to his feet his arms up like in a marital arts block and he yelled “there is a wolf!” like he was getting ready to karate-chop a wolf.

I explained to him that it was a loon, then a few days later I saw one swimming in the lake and pointed it out. Of course I knew what a loon looks like— it’s on our money, even, right?— but he made this big deal out of me being able to identify a loon, kept asking me what this or that bird was. I guess I know the names of a few birds? I’m not an expert or anything, but I spent a few weeks up at my parents cottage every summer so I, I guess, picked a few things up. But every time he was amazed and started telling me I should get into competative birding. He downloaded this app onto my phone and even bought me a pair of binoculars with ’24’ embossed on the side. So, yeah, it’s been this running joke throughout the summer.

Did training go well?

For sure. It was great to have Rozanov there; he really knows his stuff, of course, and working with him, and Marky and Shawsy and Hayden, of course, was great too. I worked hard to get ready for the season and we had a lot of fun, so what more can you ask for?

And how do you feel about the upcoming season?

Great. We’ve got a strong team coming out of the preseason, a few new guys I’m really excited to have join us. Slater, Petrov especially are amazing new additions to the team. Our lines and d-men pairings have really been meshing and I’m particularly excited about our power play; with Petrov joining us, it’s getting really good. So yeah, I’m excited about the new season and very optimistic about our chances at a repeat cup win.

Notes:

Let me know what you think!

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