Chapter Text
Azul was unsure of how it had gotten to this point; that was a lie. He knew exactly how all of this had happened. It was him, deep down he knew it, and now everyone else did too. He was the cause of all of his problems. This was an undeniable fact. No amount of power or wealth would be able to hide what he, Azul Ashengrotto, would never be able to afford. He’d overblotted, and everyone had stayed by his side, hoping he would finally step away from his insecurities. He didn’t, and he probably never would now. This was a truth everyone had figured out, and that was why they were stepping away. Jamil picked someone else. Jade picked someone else. All that he could offer, yet as the sun set, he was still alone.
If it was so exhausting for them to be around him, how could they not see that it was even worse to be him? He was so tired of it all. The voices in his head, the voices in the mirror, the actions that seemed to follow them, proving they were right the whole time. He was doing so well. Or, at least, he thought so. He walked back to his room, feeling the weight of his own shoulders daring to sag. He had to put up a good front. If not for himself, for the members of the dorm, who were supposed to look to him as a beacon of their success. But the minute his door closed behind him, it was all over.
He barely made it to his bed before his body seemed to just fall apart from the pressure of it all. It was all so tiring. The surface didn’t have an octopus pot to hide in. This room was the closest he got, and yet he still felt so exposed. He rolled over in his bed, looking at his phone. All he wanted to see was something, anything from Jade. He knew he hadn’t always been the best friend to the eel-mer, but surely this wasn’t the end. It couldn’t be. Instead, the notification that lit up the room was from his fellow housewarden, Idia. That was right, he was supposed to be at his club today. Looking at the phone’s clock, Azul realised that his club had started thirty minutes ago. Just great. First, his vice-housewarden essentially quits. Then, he breaks his perfect attendance streak. Could the day get any worse?
From: Idia
u coming 2 club?
if not I’m going home
see u nxt week ig
A couple of minutes went by with nothing. It seemed that it didn’t even matter to Idia what was happening, so long as he didn’t have to remain on campus any longer. Typical. It was typical of all of them, really. How could he expect a school that was created to be full of the most selfish and power-hungry individuals to genuinely care about him? That’s right, that’s what the real problem was all along. He was lonely and tired of the environment, so instead of trying to do anything about that, he was just going to curl into a ball and cry like he always did. It was pathetic, he knew it was. But, he couldn’t think of anything else to do. His legs felt heavy, his eyes tired, and his mind fuzzy. He figured it was better to just sleep and figure it out later. There was always later. Like that, Azul had successfully cried himself to sleep.
He woke up the next day feeling no better rested than he was before. He rolled over to look at his alarm clock. It was five pm. Just great, he’d skipped club, and now he was skipping class. Yet, despite how terrible that knowledge made him feel, he didn’t move. He couldn’t move. It was just too difficult. He had worked so hard to get here. Years of studying, but now he was just done. It wasn’t like it was a successful ending; there would be no celebrations of his success. Like any others that simply weren’t up to the task, he too would sink gently downwards to the ocean floor of nothingness. It was where he belonged. He had amounted to nothing, and it wasn’t like there was anything worth calling home about to begin with. Another text from Idia. He supposed that maybe, just maybe, his absence had been noted. It wasn’t like he had any group projects or anything, but it might have happened. Maybe he was simply overreacting.
From: Idia
made that thing u wanted
when do u want 2 see it?
Ah, yes, the extension to the espresso machine. He’d not thought that Idia was serious about making a more advanced coffee grinder to integrate into the espresso bars for Mostro; such a thing was so below the Ignihyde housewarden’s pay grade that it was laughable. However, it seemed that he had done it. So, Azul would surely have to get out of bed. But, he wasn’t presentable in the least right now. There was no way that anyone would be allowed to see him right now. Nobody could see him. But he had to be there to test the machine. It wasn’t that he didn’t have faith in Idia or the machines he had carefully picked out himself. Rather, it was the appearance of it all. If he didn’t show for an upgrade test, then the whole dorm would think that he was starting to lose his touch. Whether or not he was was irrelevant. He had to remain strong, at least to the public.
To: Idia
Come to Mostro at 7?
Dinner’s on me
We can test it after closing
From: Idia
kk
btw Ortho’s coming 2
dw about serving him
he can’t eat
lol
could u imagine
Azul found himself chuckling at the thought of the (machine?) (AI?) Ortho, trying to eat. The only picture that came to mind was the thought of him attempting to shove food at his face, with no luck. It was strange; he’d never even thought of the concept before. Finding some energy from that mental image, he willed himself out of bed to get ready. He turned on the shower, steam filling his bathroom. One thing about Azul was that he couldn’t stand cold showers. Nobody knew that, not even Jade. There was no reason for them to. Not unless they really wanted to understand him, that is. Truth was, the cold water reminded him too much of the ocean. He couldn’t stand that suffocating feeling; frigid water, sliding down his skin. It was like the motion of tentacles in a current. Or perhaps the wintry slick of blot against his overheated, human body…
He spent a long time in the shower, washing away grime that wasn’t there. He thought he could smell the seawater on him. A piece of Azul knew that nothing was going on, but there was nothing that section could do to stop the overwhelming urge to scrub until there was nothing left. His skin, much like that of his octopus form, was quite thin, so all this really did was rub it raw. The sharp red of blood contrasted with the pale color of his skin in a way that was quite beautiful. Like coral being resurrected, a shade of death returning to life. Yet even this couldn’t stop the urge. He had to step out, walk away, before it wasn’t small enough that his clothes would hide it.
He finished his shower and went over to his wardrobe, flicking through the various options. It was only ever going to be his dorm uniform. If he wore the wrong thing out in public, everyone would certainly know something was wrong. Still, he thought that it must be nice to alter the rules of society ever so slightly in the form of an adapted uniform. It was a human thing, clothes to show status. In a way, it made his life easier; so long as he styled his body the right way, there was no door that couldn’t be opened. Nevertheless, it was quite a hassle. He slipped on the uniform with a sigh, hoping his hair would dry in time. What a nuisance, human things were. As much as he hated, and that truly was the correct word, his mer form, he could not help but miss the simplicity of it.
Azul slipped on his shoes and made his way to the Mostro Lounge. In his absence, surely there was a need for him. He was expecting a pile of paperwork on his desk, or even a series of customer complaints. Instead, he walked into the building to find it… running as smoothly as ever. In fact, it looked even better. As early as it was, almost every table was already booked. The waitstaff were moving about expertly. There was nobody sitting down, and, as far as he could see from his brief scan of the room, there were no customers waiting around for food or drinks. He couldn’t help but almost feel disappointed at this. Ruggie ran past with an empty tray, but, upon spotting Azul, stopped to talk for a moment.
“Hey boss, you’re back!” He said with a smile that the octo-mer couldn’t tell the genuineness of. “Place’s been doing great. Just a few minor things. First, I took Floyd off the schedule because… well, you get it. Hope you didn’t mind.”
“Of course not. And the other things?”
“Oh, yes! We got a request for a fall menu, so I came up with some things that sounded yummy. That’s on your desk. And… uh. I forgot the last thing. I’ll get back to ya with it when I remember.”
“Thank you, Ruggie. I appreciate your diligence as always.”
“In that case, would a raise be in order?”
“I wouldn’t count on it.” The hyena’s ears visibly deflated. “However, if you wanted to special order your dinner tonight instead of just taking leftovers, I suppose I could turn a blind eye.”
“Thanks, boss! You’re the best!
“Oh, one more thing?”
“Yeah?”
“Reserve a table for Idia and Ortho for seven. They’re coming in to test something for me. Let me know when they arrive as well.”
“You got it!
With that, Ruggie ran off to whatever he was doing before. Azul headed to his office, where there were, in fact, only the sheets of ideas that the beastman had left him. It was about to be fall, and seasonal items were especially profitable at this time of year. Though it seemed that Ruggie had only come up with ideas surrounding sweets and drinks. He could probably pull from the file of mushroom dishes that Jade had suggested, seeing as they were an expected addition to a fall menu, but he simply couldn’t be bothered to look at them. He didn’t particularly want to be reminded of the eel at the moment. For whatever reason, one that he couldn’t understand at the moment, Jade had simply asked to be relieved of any duties he had assisting Azul. Something was wrong; that much was clear. But, instead of coming to the octo-mer for help, a series of roles that had been reversed an insurmountable number of times, he had instead decided to leave the mer alone, wondering what had happened.
It didn’t take long before a knock came to his office. Ruggie was letting him know that the Shrouds had arrived and been seated. Azul stood up, straightened his tie, and exited his office like nothing was wrong. Ruggie led him over to the reserved table, a booth in the back. The beastman had outdone himself once again, finding a spot that was generally secluded from the busy atmosphere of the lounge. Perhaps he should give him a raise, given that neither of the Leech twins were on the payroll anymore. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth, but he ignored it. He sat down with the two brothers as their drink orders were taken. But, before Ruggie dashed off, he seemed to recall something.
“Oh, by the way, boss, I remembered the thing I’d forgotten about earlier. The espresso bar is broken,” he said, running off before he forgot the orders he’d taken.
“Thank… you.” Azul called out before cursing under his breath, “Damnnit.”
Idia leaned over the table. “Sooooo… I left my room for no reason?”
“I guess so.” Azul shrugged, “Well, I guess you get free dinner out of it, if that’s any consolation.”
“Beats noodles again.”
“You really should eat better, big bro!” Ortho said, excitable as always, “I read that a diet with that much sodium can lead to–”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m chopped. I know.” He sighed, resting his head on one of his arms on the table, “I was actually looking forward to testing this. My projects don’t usually involve food. I so wanted to recreate this drink I just saw in an anime… It was going to be so cute!”
Azul perked up, a concept starting to form in his head, “Well, I might have an idea…”
“Ugh, I don’t wanna do a stupid deal with you! That’s like total npc behavior.” He whined. “Plus, it makes this whole dinner totally sus. This was your plan all along, wasn’t it?”
“It was not.” He hummed, thinking for a moment, “What if I said that there was practically nothing in it for me?”
“Fine, fine, go ahead! I know you want to do your monologue thing.”
“Well, I now need a new coffee machine, and you want to build something involving technomantics and food. How about you build me the coffee machine, and then I do something for you? Anything of your choosing.”
“Damn it, this is so embarrassing!”
“You… haven’t even said anything yet. Does this mean you agree?”
“I guess it does. I’m such a chud.” This got a laugh out of Ortho.
“I don’t know what that means.” He said flatly, “So, what’s your term?”
The words seemed to come out in one big jumble. “Couldyouwatchmyfavoriteshow?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Please watch my favorite show! I need someone to talk to about it! It’s too niche for the normies at this school, but the online community’s hella toxic.”
“I suppose that’s agreeable.” Azul shrugged, pulling out a piece of paper to begin recording the contract.
“We can go to mine after club? As long as that works for you, of course. If not, I’m sure that we could figure out another time. It’s no big deal, really!” He stammered on.
He started writing, “That works. About how long would you say it would take to build your coffee machine?”
He stuttered, “If you want the best of the best, it’ll take me about a month… Don’t give me that look! It’ll be fully autonomous, and you’ll be able to adapt it for seasonal recipes! Not to mention it’ll be free.”
“I suppose a month it is. And I will meet with you twice a week to… watch this show?”
Idia spoke with far too much eagerness, in Azul’s opinion. “Yes.”
“Alright, just sign here.” He handed the other a pen.
“Bet,” He said, signing his name, “Wait, what happens if it takes me longer? Agh, such a newbie mistake!”
“You’ll find out if it happens, but I suspect you’re going to want to avoid that.”
“Fan-fucking-tastic.”
“Deal’s a deal!” Azul cheered. Perhaps this was worth crawling out of bed for. That, and trying to watch Ortho use a straw to drink a drink; it was so much funnier than he had thought it would be.