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The first thing Haru notices is how quiet you’ve become. This quiet is heavier, it lingers in the spaces between his words, swallows the punchline before it can even reach you. It curls into your shoulders and drags your gaze somewhere far away, somewhere he can’t follow.
“Haha! So then Ren just stared at me like I’d committed a crime,” Haru finishes, flashing his usual grin, leaning back like he expects your laugh to fill the room.
You’re staring at your hands, like there’s something wrong with them.
He notices it now, the faint tremor and the way your fingers twitch like they don’t belong to you anymore. Like something else is learning how to move inside your skin.
It starts with the cold. You don’t say it out loud at first, but he notices the way you rub your arms, even in warmth. The way your breath sometimes comes out uneven, like your body forgets how to regulate itself. Then the shadows change, they don’t quite follow you anymore. Sometimes they stretch too far and lag behind and sometimes it… shifts.
Haru’s smile falters.
“…Hey.”
You don’t answer immediately. That too, is new. When you finally look up, your eyes are still yours but there’s something beneath them, something fractured and tired.
“Don’t tell the others yet,” you had said.
He remembers it clearly. The way you stood in the dim light, clutching your arm like it hurt. The way you tried to smile through it, like it was just another inconvenience, like it wasn’t the beginning of the end.
“If something happens…” you start, your voice quieter than usual, “you can’t hesitate.”
His smile fades.
“…I won’t let it get that far.”
“You don’t understand.”
“I do.”
“No, you—”
“I said I do.”
The words come out sharper than he intends, the silence that follows is heavy.
Sleepless nights blur into endless days. Files pile up and his energy drinks stack in the corner, empty cans rattling whenever he moves too fast. He catches and investigates every anomaly, every trace, and every possibility.
There has to be a way. There has to be.
He refuses to believe that this is something he can’t solve. But the signs worsen, you start forgetting things. Small things at first, then bigger ones and then… him.
Just for a second enough to make his chest tighten in a way he doesn’t know how to joke away.
“Haru.”
Your voice is steadier today, that scares him more than anything. You’re sitting across from him, hands folded neatly in your lap. It’s too still and he doesn’t like it.
“Let’s now make a deal.”
He laughs, leaning back in his chair.
“Ooh, serious. Should I be worried?”
“Yes.”
The word lands without hesitation and his smile falters again.
“…Okay,” he says more quietly. “What kind of deal?”
“If I lose control soon… you’ll stop it here.”
Your hand presses weakly against your chest. Right over your heart and his gaze drops to it.
And something inside him snaps. He stares at you. Waiting for the punchline, but it doesn’t come.
“…Not funny,” he mutters.
“I’m serious.”
“Yeah, well—I’m not agreeing to that.”
“Haru please, we already talked about this before...”
The word breaks something in him.
“I’ll find a way,” he insists, leaning forward now, his voice sharper. “That’s what I do, right? I will find a solution and fix things.”
Your expression had softened, something closer to sadness.
“…You can’t fix everything.”
“Just watch me.”
The day comes faster than he’s ready for. The sky is dark or maybe that’s just how it feels. You’re standing in front of him, breathing unevenly, your body trembling from something fighting to take over.
Your eyes, they’re not fully yours anymore.
“Haru…!”
You choke on his name and he freezes for a split second, just long enough to see it. The shift, the Kyklos inside you clawing its way out.
“You said…” you gasp, your voice breaking apart, distorting at the edges. “You said- you’d stop me…”
His hands shake and he hates that. He never shakes.
“…Don’t,” he whispers.
“I can’t hold it!”
You stagger forward then back, like your body doesn’t know which direction to choose, like it’s already splitting.
“Haru please!”
It’s late… too late. Everything feels unreal. You’re standing by the window, moonlight spilling across your figure.
For a second, you look normal.
“…Hey,” he says softly.
You turn and for a moment, relief floods him. He can still see it's you. It’s you.
All of a sudden, you stagger. Your hand grips your chest, nails digging into fabric like you’re trying to hold something in.
“Ha—”
Your voice fractures, something underneath it growls. His body moves before his mind catches up. He’s at your side instantly, grabbing your shoulders to steady you.
“Hey, hey—it’s okay, I’ve got you—”
“No—!”
You shove him back harder than you ever have. He stumbles, eyes widening.
“Don’t come any closer—!”
Your body trembles violently now, breathing is erratic, and your shadow is no longer yours. It writhes, expands and begins to separate.
“…It’s starting,” you choke out, your voice layered now, yours and something else.
“Haru… listen…”
He’s already reaching into his coat and already pulling the knife free. He doesn’t remember deciding to bring it but maybe some part of him knew.
“…No,” he mutters under his breath. “No, no, no I can still—there’s still time—”
“There isn’t.”
You look at him and despite everything, you’re smiling. Tears cling to your lashes, but your expression is calm.
“…You promised.”
“I didn’t—!”
“You did.”
Your voice softens. “…In your own way.”
The thing inside you surges. Your body jerks violently. A distorted sound tears from your throat, half scream and half something inhuman.
The air around you shifts. If it breaks free, if it fully manifests… it won’t just be you. It’ll be everything.
“Haru—!” you gasp, your voice slipping away. “Now—!”
He freezes for a second.
He sees it all.
Every laugh, every shared moment. Every time you stood beside him, matching his pace, understanding him in ways no one else ever did. The one person who didn’t get left behind, the one person who stayed and the one person he—
“…I can’t,” he whispers.
“You can.”
Your hand lifts weakly and shakes. It presses against the blade in his grip, guiding it.
“…Please.”
Your forehead rests against his.
“…Before it takes me away from you.”
His vision blurs. He hates that he’s hesitating, hates that he’s failing.
“I’m supposed to protect you,” he chokes out.
“You are.”
Your smile is softer now, fading.
“…This is how.”
“…Stay with me,” he whispers.
“I will.”
A kind lie you blurted out. The blade drives forward, straight and precise. Right where your hand guided it through your heart, your body stiffened as broken breath escaped your lips. The tension releases, the writhing shadow stills and the distortion fades. The thing inside you stops, Haru’s grip tightens around the knife, he doesn’t pull it out. He can’t.
You slump against him, your weight is too familiar.
“…Haru…” you murmur faintly.
“I’m here,” he says immediately, his voice trembling despite everything. “I’m right here—just—just stay with me, okay? Just—”
“It doesn’t hurt anymore.”
He swallows hard.
Your fingers weakly clutch his sleeve.
“…Thank you.”
He shakes his head frantically and you’re already fading. Your gaze softens and your breathing slows.
“…You always… fix things…”
“…Not this time,” he whispers.
You smile and it’s the most beautiful, heartbreaking thing he’s ever seen.
“…You did.”
Your hand slips, your body goes still. And just like that, you’re gone.
The knife falls from his grasp with a dull sound. Haru doesn’t react and just stares at you waiting for something, but there’s nothing. No breath, no movement at all.
“…That wasn’t fixing,” he mutters hollowly.
His voice doesn’t sound like his own.
“…That was… ending.”
The world feels quieter now, like something important has been erased. In his hand, a white lily rests out of nowhere, delicate, glowing and untainted.
“…Resurrection,” he murmurs, staring at it.
“…Hope.”
His grip tightens.
“…Life.”
The words feel meaningless and empty.
“…Yeah. Right.”
His fingers loosen, the white lily slips from his grasp, falling. Vanishing into the darkness below, just like you did. Haru lets out a soft laugh and it echoes lightly, but there’s no one left to hear it.