Archive of Our Own

ONE

Ash loved peace. he was the best at it. He loves peace so much he was willingly going to chat with Vegetta, something that he wants to do himself and has not in the slightest had to force himself to do.

He loves peace.

And hes doing amazing at being peaceful! the flor de la paz has been gifted, and he's done a great job at facetiously bantering with the leader of The North.

He might've been too peaceful, though, and made the other feel too comfortable with him, like hes allowed to speculate about the bonds he has.

"So, Tubbo is your boyfriend."

Ash doesn't think hes ever glitched hard enough that hes physically moved where he was positioned, but he swore he wasn't as close to the left arm rest a second ago.

Is. Not a question, but as if Vegetta knew something he didn't. Which he obviously doesn't.

"What?" Was all he could manage to say after a second of wordless noises of confusion, trying to regain his composure as black and purple particles dances around him, betraying him.

Vegetta leaned back in his chair, tilting his head a little at Ash. "You do everything for him, like you said. It feels obvious, my friend."

Ash could feel his face hot with embarrassment. What on earth could've given Vegetta the impression that him and Tubbo were anything other than leader and underling?

Vegetta suddenly straightened in his chair, guilt in his eyes. "Oh, was it a secret? Sorry, I don't think its something everyone assumes, but I can deny for you if it's-"

"No!" Ash said, too loud and too quick. He cleared his throat, forcibly relaxing his shoulders to hide how much shock he is feeling.

"No," He repeated, tone smooth and even, though his eye still malfunctioning a bit. "Tubbo is just my second in command, my engineer. There is nothing…" Ash pauses to swallow thickly, "romantic, going on between us."

Vegetta relaxed a bit with his hand on his chest after the confirmation he didn't out the two, having assumed the horror on Ash's face was due to a forced admittance.

"My friend, are you sure, though?" Vegetta asked, still clearly not buying what Ash says with the way he looks, like an over corrected version of the show he puts on as Supreme Leader.

Ash takes a breath that he didn't realize he needed. "No, Vegetta," he clasps his hands together, leaning forward, "Tubbo and I are not together."

Vegetta doesn't buy shit. Hes not gonna say that though.

"Whatever you say," Vegetta smiles at the denial, fully reclining in his chair again. "I just saw a lot in you two that I saw with myself and Foolish, you know?"

Ash didn't know, nor did he care to stay to be explained this.

Ash stands up abruptly, Vegetta's eyes following him up in confusion.

"I'm glad we had this meeting," Ash started, "but I have to get back to the Regime now."

Vegetta followed him hesitantly, still visibly confused for the sudden need to leave. He doesn't ask any questions though, which Ash is more than grateful for, as he walked the two of them out of the mansion to the Waystone.

Vegetta extended his hand, which Ash took in a firm handshake. "I'm glad the North can call the Regime our allies, now, my friend," Vegetta smiled at the visitor. Ash for a split second forgot that was why he was even here.

"Yes, I hope that," Ash coughs a little, clearing his throat, "peace," he said as if the word hurt his tongue, "can be kept between our factions."

He places a hand on the Waystone, magic tingling through his body as he teleports, but not before he can hear Vegetta yell out a "Tell Tubbo that I said 'hi'!" with a shit-eating grin.

He knew what he was doing, Ash thought to himself as he arrived at the Regimes Waystone, feeling the residual disorientation from warp travel. That man knows how to get under someones skin even in a peaceful way. hes good.

Then his brain buffers. Why would that even get under his skin? He was friends with Tubbo, this had nothing to do with their conversation.

He made it more than clear to Vegetta that the two of them had nothing going on, but he still knows that hes the closest to Tubbo out of all the regime, of course he would say that.

But was it that obvious to everyone?

Was this a point of weakness?

Ash walked at a brisk pace from the Waystone, his mind swimming. Why would this be a problem? It shouldn't bother him so much that his relationship was misinterpreted.

Why would it even be misinterpreted in the first place though?

Ash racked his brain, pausing to take his axe out of his inventory and leaning on it absentmindedly. He co-founded the regime with him, of course he would want to protect him. Of course he would want him to have the resources he needs to further his agenda. Of course he wants him to have the best gear. Of course he-

He-

The world starts to go fuzzy as Ash hits the ground, his axe clanking loudly on the cobblestone floor.

"-Sh holy fuck!" the tail end of a sentence made its way fuzzy into Ash's mind, the light coming back as he blinks slowly. He hears footsteps running up to stop at his side. Great. More public weakness.

"Ash, you alright man? I heard a loud-ass bang outside and saw you on the floor, dude what the hell?"

Of course he passes out next to the factory.

Ash sits up, Tubbo immediately supporting his back without any need to be asked, which is not what Ash needs in his mind right now. He keeps his hands there as Ash fully stands, and then crouches down to pick his axe up for him.

"I'm fine, Young Tobias, don't worry," Ash dusts the dirt off of his coat, and then jolts to raise a hand to the back of his head. Ow.

This doesn't stop the look of concern on Tubbo's face as he looks up at him, handing him back the axe. Ash suddenly feels queasier than when he was warping.

Great idea!

"I," Ash clears his throat to make his voice sound more normal, and not like a sudden feeling of sickness took over, "didn't eat enough before warping back from the North, you know how that can fuck up travel."

Great idea indeed.

Tubbo's face did not relax, and in fact got more concerned. "You were so hungry you fucking passed out after warp traveling? Are you joking?" Tubbo's voice rose in pitch like he does when truly baffled.

Bad idea.

Ash opened his mouth to speak, to downplay the lie he just told, when a tug on his wrist made his feet move for him.

"Tubbo, what are you-"

"Nope, your having something to eat and a gapple before you step out of my sight; you passed out holding a giant fuck-ass axe that could've fell onto you, dude!"

Ash's face flushed in deep embarrassment, his face scrambled purple as he tries to calm down his glitching. Tubbo re-adjusts his grip on Ash's wrist as he marches into his factory, the inch or so of skin not covered by his sleeve burning under the touch.

He's burning all over, now that he thinks about it.

Ash was still dazed from having literally passed out onto the ground, and decided complying with Tubbo meant he would have less questions in the long run. Once he got to a bench inside the factory, Tubbo placed his hands firmly on his shoulders, pushing him down as Ash clumsily sat down.

Ash felt like a kindergartner in timeout, sitting in shame as Tubbo searched for a snack. Ash absentmindedly rubbed the back of his skull where he hit the ground when Tubbo shut his bag and handed him a couple of cookies.

"To get your blood sugar up, after you fucking passed out," Tubbo emphasizes the last part loudly as if Ash doesn't know why hes here in the first place, shaking his head in disbelief at his carelessness. Ash nodded as he grabbed them, forcing himself to eat past the confusing sick feeling that hasn't gone away. Maybe it was the teleportation. Probably.

Tubbo handed him a golden apple for his head, his eyes unreadable to Ash. He ate the healing food quickly, feeling its effects kick in already, and got up to leave when Tubbo tutted at him.

"Uh uh, I don't trust you right now, you're staying here for at least fifteen more minutes so so I can make sure it was just that and you're not dying," Tubbo turned to continue working on whatever he was doing before Ash's accident, craning his neck back once he knelt down to make sure the leader was still sitting.

"Tubbo, you cant-"

"Yes the fuck I can, its your job to lead us and its our job to make sure you don't fucking die, excuse me if hearing you hit the ground from inside the factory made me worried," Tubbo said sternly, not turning around from working. Ash crossed his arms and huffed, but he couldn't fight down the weird sick feeling even after the golden apple; the more he though about anything that went down in the last twenty minutes the weirder he felt. He'll probably just make some regeneration potions later.

TWO

Ash was not a builder. He was a fighter. He tore stuff down more than he did build things up. Its what he was best at.

But a Supreme Leader can't be without a personal home for this long. Its humiliating. And when Foolish was the guy you hire on the server to build for you, Ash was going to have to build his office on his own.

This had nothing to do with the accident a few days ago, where Tubbo scolded him for not having an actual place to rest yet when he finally let him leave the factory.

Hes made a solid start with what he has, but quickly realized he didn't have nearly enough materials to complete what he wanted to create; he had more potion ingredients in a single chest than building blocks in his entire storage.

Luckily, the Regime manufactures domestically.

Ash sent Tubbo a ping he would be at the factory soon, making his way over to the familiar building.

Ash grew warm as he entered the downstairs of the building, remembering what happened the last time he was here. He still has a residual stomach ache after all of it, one that he successfully gaslit himself into believing it was because he teleported on an empty stomach. The brain is a powerful thing.

Ash stepped on the elevator pad and was instantly on the upper floor, hearing one more voice than he expected to hear.

Exactly the voice he didn't want to.

"Yo, hey Supreme Leader, saw your message," Tubbo greeted, turning his head from the large material production machine that Ash cannot begin to explain how it works. He of course didn't tell Tubbo this directly, but hes never seen something more impressive in his life. Tubbo understood that clearly from the way his eyes went wide when he first showed him, getting giddy as if Ash said the actual compliment. Ash didn't want to read into why that understanding made him feel a way because it would make him queasy again.

He also didn't want to read into why it made him queasy.

"Hey Ash!" Foolish called out, sitting on a stool near Tubbo that spins around, making the most of the function. "Stole your engineer for a bit, my bad," he laughed. Ash's jaw tightened.

Ash had a normal opinion about Tubbo and Foolish's friendship. he just doesn't feel like sharing it for even more normal reasons.

He gave a short nod at the other, however, because hes so good at peace with the North.

Tubbo got up from the machine, taking off his goggles and resting them on top of his head where they normally sit. Ash started to make the request for materials but couldn't even get a word out before Tubbo interrupted him.

"I was showing off the big guy to Foolish," he wiped his hands on his already dirty work jeans, leaving more oil stains on them, then slaps the side of the machine, "and saw that you were building something with a lot of quartz, so decided to use that to show off and get some materials for you! two birds with one Create machine!" Tubbo beamed up at Ash, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

Ash felt his stomach ache get worse.

"Oh?" he instead said, a small smile threatening the corners of his mouth. Tubbo nodded and led Ash over to the product collection area, opening a chest to show off the mound of quartz blocks. Ash let his jaw hang open, picking up the materials to look at. Yeah that's stacks upon stacks of quartz, all right.

Tubbo saw his reaction and gave a sing-song-y "You're welcome!" as he walked back to where he was before, unfortunately making Ash remember Foolish was still there when he mumbled an "It's seriously so cool," to Tubbo as he passed him.

"Oh, there's more where that came from too," Tubbo added, goggles back over his eyes, "not yet, I mean, but there will be, come in any time to get the rest if I'm not here to give it to you."

Ash felt his face get unreasonably warm. He was not enjoying how often this happens.

"Your efforts are greatly appreciated, Tubbo. You are an invaluable member of this team," Ash says as he places the stacks in his backpack, wondering if hes going to have to make two trips for just this batch alone.

"That's his way of saying 'thank you'" Tubbo says to Foolish, the latter giggling. Ash refuses to let this jellyfish ruin his mood.

"I'll see you later bossman, if you need anymore help building let me know!" Tubbo waved as Ash stepped on the elevator platform. He put a hand to his face, feeling the physical static of his skin as it buzzed bright purple, the stomach ache as strong as it was a few days ago. He can see the link between this all threatening to connect.

shit.

THREE

Ash has always been a fighter. A violence first, talk later type of person. He doesn't have too many strong memories of before the island, but he does know his instincts tell him to seek power, to conquer, to destroy those in his way.

It isn't that Ash cant make bonds, but the bonds he makes are to fight alongside with. to fight for.

He knows this is why his body almost rejects the word peace, feeling literally nauseous. Hes getting over it, or trying to, but his body was clearly not prepared for this exposure therapy.

It also was clearly not ready to have feelings for someone.

Hes gone to war and is getting a stomach ache because someone gave him a gift.

That someone being Tubbo.

Great.

He passed out because he was thinking about all the things he likes about Tubbo after being questioned by his former enemy now ally.

Great.

He nearly ran a fever because Tubbo, his second in command, was taking care of him.

Great, great, great. fucking great.

Ash needs to get his mind off of this.

He decided to send a message to fit asking him if he wanted to go around hanging more recruitment posters and setting out more books, which the man gladly accepted, meeting up with him at the Waystone to head around the server.

Ash understood Fit. He was one of the islanders that has history with whatever is going on here, with the federation, but described a similar sense of having vague memory of violence before the first island. Hes a lot more pacifistic now, but Ash wanted him in the regime because he can see the fire in his eyes, the same one he sees in the mirror. They come from a similar place and, although Ash has had way less time to try, its hard to get rid of your gut instincts for bloodshed.

Now, Ash hasn't seen any of this yet, Fit instead being a doting boyfriend and the only one to vote against destroying the North. But he trusts the investment hes making in having fit on his team.

They put up posters all around the island, making their way back to the Regime around mid afternoon. The sun was a lot stronger today, Ash's usual outfit not being suited for the heat. they're both checking the books around the Regime itself to see if any new recruits signed to join when Ash did a full double take.

Tubbo seems to agree the weather is harsh, because he has his button up shirt tied around his waist as he works on a broken train-track a mine blew up. Now, even with clothes that always cover most of his body, no one would assume Tubbo is a stick of a man, but nothing prepared Ash for what Tubbo looked like in a white tank top, arms flexing with every crank of a wrench, chewing on his bottom lip in concentration.

He really did not need this today.

Ash looked away so hard he could've given himself whiplash, like if he looked for any longer he would burn himself. He shook his head to get the image out, flakes of purple going crazy as he is certain his face is warm to the touch. he starts walking back to fit, who was on the other side of the street at the other book, but instead walked into a pole instead, knocking his head hard and stumbling.

Fit turned around after he heard a "FUCK" to see Ash regaining his balance with a hand on his face. He immediately put the book down and jogged over.

"Dude, holy shit are you OK? that looked rough, man"

And with Ash's luck, Tubbo heard fit.

Ash was rubbing his forehead, wincing in pain, already visualizing the dark bruise he'll see in the mirror, when Tubbos voice appeared behind him.

"Bro, you gotta stop injuring yourself in stupid ways" Tubbo chuckled, trying to lighten the embarrassment he knew the leader was feeling with a joke, "this is the second time- holy fuck!" Tubbo cut himself off when he was actually facing Ash.

"Is it that bad," Ash joked, smirking, Tubbos attempt having worked.

"Dude, your nose is bleeding!"

Ash touched his finger to under his nose, pulling it away to see that, in fact, he did have a nose bleed.

"Oh, shit," Ash responded, already tilting his head up like hes heard you're supposed to do, the embarrassment back in full force. Ash got a nose bleed because he was checking out his friend. He needs to leave the island forever.

"how'd you even manage to do that, man" Now that the situation was clearly not serious, Fit was laughing out of pure confusion. Ash replied with a mumbled "I was lost in thought" which made fit cackle more. Tubbo was looking through his bag for a napkin as Ash could not help himself and continued to look at Tubbos arms. they were right in front of him.

"Here, shove them up those nose holes, your forehead's also bleeding a bit if you want some healing pot" Tubbo handed the napkins over. he then continued to look through his bag.

"Just kidding this isn't a choice, lean down a little so I can dab this on," Tubbo grinned cheekily up at him once his hand landed on the glass bottle, grabbing a cloth and a small healing potion and placing the back on the ground.

Ash is thoroughly humiliated as is, nothing can get worse right now. Ash bent down to get at eye level with Tubbo, the small sting of the healing potion making him flinch a little, which hopefully will make the others think is the source of his glitching. Whatever they think, though, they don't say, other than Tubbo letting Ash know that his skin feels fuzzy when he gets "all computer". Ash holds his eyes shut the whole time, knowing he would probably pass out again if he saw the subtle flex and movement of Tubbos bicep as he cared for his wound up close.

"andddd done" Tubbo declared, Ash opening his eyes and standing back up, red sparkly goop on his forehead and bloody tissues in his nose, while Tubbo has his arms crossed on his chest, admiring the work he did on Ash's injury.

Ash feels like a Victorian bachelor the way he's having to forcibly avert his gaze.

"Don't worry, I'll tell people they're battle scars if anyone asks" Tubbo playfully punched Ash's arm, snapping him back into reality, "Fit will too, trust, we won't tell anyone about your pole incident."

"Now don't call it that," Fit laughed, motioning for Ash to come finish their work for the day.

Ash needs to climb to the top of a cliff as soon as possible. And maybe a regen potion.

FOUR

Ash feels like he cannot help but notice every time he feels like an insane man around Tubbo now. Obviously, as leader, he's not letting himself show it (other than the near concussions) but the queasiness and headaches and stomach aches seem to be a dull constant now. Ash has been keeping a regeneration potion on him now just to deal with the dull aches that are coming from his body's inability to react normally to speaking to a pretty boy.

The worst part is that Ash knows its obvious. vegetta found out before he even did for gods sake.

Vegetta's got a few screws loose, this was just a lucky guess, Ash told himself, taking a sip of his regen potion to help lower the low grade fever he has as he does busywork at his desk. No one knows your current weakness.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard soft footsteps at the Pantheon's doorway.

"Yo, Ash, you busy right now?" Haiper knocked on the doorframe, his tone somewhat serious yet light.

"I can make time, come," Ash lied. He was making the same notes on a map of every factions weakness and strength that he's been making for the last hour.

Haiper skipped over to his spot and pulled out his notebook he's been using for spying.

This has become their routine almost weekly now, before this happening in the factory when Ash's office wasn't built yet. Now they have a much more professional environment to trade insider knowledge.

There was a certain charm to discussing important things with the machines as background noise, but charm doesn't make an empire.

"I don't know what's going on with them, but there's a frog that's second in command now?" Haiper read off his page like he's confused at what he even wrote. Ash covered his mouth with his hand to hold in the sputtered laugh he let out.

"excuse me?" Ash smiled behind his hand, Haiper giggling and rolling his eyes.

"look, man, I don't know either, they got like five more members and one's a frog named after some wizard,I'm mostly just spying for my own entertainment at this point," he joked, closing his notebook to show there really isn't anything that isn't the same levels of insane to say.

Ash chuckled along, writing in his map "frog is here now too????" near the North, along with an asterisks of the new members Haiper told him of, asking him to name them them as he wrote.

When he put his pen down he assumed that would be all of the meeting, but Haiper instead stayed and leaned in a little.

"OK, real talk, are you OK, dude?"

Ash blinked, taken by surprise of the sudden sincerity.

"of course, why would you ask that?" Ash replied smoothly, as if nothing was wrong.

"I don't know man, you've just been acting like you do when you try to be nice to people in conventional ways, like when you threw up trying to say the word peace for the first time," Haiper laughed lightly at that, trying to make the air less confrontational and more a one-to-one between friends.

"I appreciate the concern Haiper, really, but I can assure you that-"

"Oh Supreme Leader," Tubbos voice suddenly entered the room, the both of them turning to see him in the door frame, backpack full of rolled blueprints. "Oh my great Supreme Leader," he repeated, dragging out the end of the last word. He walked in and, instead of sitting at his chair, leaned over the desk, getting close to Ash.

Haiper laughed at the sight, Tubbo leaning on his hands as he rested his elbows on the desk.

"Yes, Tubbo?" Ash asked, amused. Tubbo started blinking way too much, exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes.

"I'm gonna go steal some of your stuff, if that's OK with you. I'm going to do it anyways. need it for a project," Tubbos voice dripped with honey in a way he knew how to use to get what he wants with Ash.

And it always works.

Ash ignored his stomach knots getting tighter, instead smiling at the antics of his engineer and saying "you know what's best for the regime, and I barely know how to use half of that stuff, go ahead."

Tubbo shot up, clapping and repeating "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" before pointing at Haiper and promising him something from the loot he's going to take from Ash.

Haiper was sat eyes wide, baffled, as he watched Tubbo leave the office humming a tune to himself, then looked back at Ash who was now smoothing his jacket and hair, his right side not purple but definitely more uncanny and out of focus like when Ash is suppressing a glitch.

He did this look back and fourth a few more times in quick succession, thought now at an empty doorway instead of Tubbo, then landed on Ash, eyes still wide.

"What is it, Haiper?" Ash questioned, seeing the others ears standing straight up.

"no way," a knowing smile crept up Haiper's face, and Ash's stomach dropped.

"I'm sorry?" Ash asked, hopping he was wrong.

"you like Tubbo," Haiper's grin grew wider, and Ash suddenly understood why people referred to foxes as sly.

Ash dropped his face into his hands, raking his fingers through his fringe as he gets back up to deny, something Haiper clearly wasn't about to let him do.

"I should've known, oh my god!" Haiper stood up in his chair, tail wagging, Ash instinctively reaching his hands as if to tell him to settle down.

"oh my god it makes so much sense," he clapped, sitting down again to bounce in his seat.

"'Makes sense'? 'Should've known'? what does that mean, Haiper, oh my god," Ash muffled the last part, hands over his face to pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Bro, you would never let anyone else do that!" Haiper gestured to the doorway vaguely in the direction Tubbo went. "Imagine if Fit came in and demanded to take your shit while giving you puppy dog eyes!"

"He was not…" Ash tries to defend himself an clarify what happened but it fell flat, Haiper crossing his arms in triumph as Ash trailed off, getting more flushed by the second.

"Look," Ash took a breath and composed himself, "if you're done with the report and just accusing me of things now-"

"I'm not trying to accuse you of anything, I was just checking in!" Haiper put his hands up in defense, unable to wipe the cheeky smile off his face. Ash glared at Haiper, which deterred nothing in the fox.

"Well, I'm fine." Ash says with finality. "Everything is fine. nothing is the matter. everything is under control"

Haiper got up from his chair to leave, but made sure to turn around to face Ash first before he walked out the door.

"Whatever you say, but you're the one that implied something had to be under control, not me!"

He disappeared from view, his giggles still audible for a few seconds as Haiper was certainly skipping away, having somehow done a spy mission on his own leader's brain.

There's the nausea again. Ash tangled a hand in his hair as he took another sip from his regen potion to stop the wave.

FIVE

Calm days are treasured on the island. Even when its not war, or federation bullshit, some insane activity will be going on somewhere (like a giant Quackity statue with a spinning head). When a day truly has nothing going on, you cant do anything but soak it in for a little.

Tactically of course, as Ash is sat at a vantage point watching over the regime on the roof of the factory, using his downtime to still make sure everything is going safe and smoothly. he sat on one of the benches that line the roof, not too close to the edge to be dangerous but enough to have a nice view, taking in the unbelievable work Tubbo has done on the regime.

Every street, building, machine and other form of infrastructure was either built by or planned by the engineer, and Ash cannot imagine the regime existing without his second in command, his blood-lust having no balance of creation to help his faction flourish.

He took his regeneration potion out that hes been nursing (had to make a second one now, even with the small sips he takes) to help ease the headache that inevitably came as he though of Tubbo's genius, when he heard the man himself land with his glider behind him. He was not surprised, this being his own factory and all, and put the potion away before he could take a sip.

"Hey, Tubbo," Ash greeted, patting the seat next to him to invite him over. a bad idea? maybe! but Ash was getting used to the ache. If he could get used to the word peace, surely he could get used to the way his stomach cramps when around the other.

"What up, boss," Tubbo folded his glider up to put in his bag, plopping down on the bench a little closer than Ash expected. "was helping out with a broken train track at the polish station but other than that there's been fuck-all happening today."

Ash nodded in agreement, staring out into the expanse of the island. He has everything under control. He's a strong leader.

Then Tubbo crashes into his side, leaning his head on the others shoulder.

"Ughhhh, I needed this bad, a day where I only have one rail to fix is a great day for me," Tubbo complained dramatically, melting into Ash's side like he was a Popsicle on a hot day.

"What about you, man, I rarely see you sitting and doing nothing, kinda scary tee-bee-ayche" Tubbo laughed as he looked up at Ash, green eyes peeking through his lashes, the scales on his face reflecting the golden hour sun into a thousand sparkles.

He did not have everything under control.

Ash swallowed thickly as he broke eye contact, feeling like he was trying to separate magnets. "Just… looking over the Regime. Didn't want to walk around to patrol today, you know," he spoke too steady, way more put on than normal.

Tubbo poked a finger into his ribcage, eliciting a yelp from the leader. "Damn, there really isn't anything going on, then" he giggled and turned back to face the land they called their home, nuzzling into Ash's side.

This is dangerous.

Ash hesitates for a moment, then lifts the arm Tubbo is laying on to wrap around him instead, Tubbo following his lead and leaning on his side, letting himself be embraced. Ash refused to unlock his gaze, worrying he might puke or die if he saw what Tubbo looked like right now.

This is dangerous.

He uses his thumb to gently rub circles into Tubbo's shoulder.

This is dangerous.

Ash has killed countless people in pure search of power and blood lust,yet this was the most terrifying thing hes ever done.

The minutes (or hours, or seconds, maybe days) of bliss and terror didn't last forever, though, as Tubbo sat up, now turning his body to face him as much as he can sitting next to someone on a bench, their knees bumping.

Ash thinks that the loss of touch is more painful than any of the accidents hes had in the past month.

"Ash," Tubbo starts carefully, like hes toeing the line. Ash dares to finally turn his head to see the man fidgeting with his fingers, worrying his bottom lip. Ash nodded hesitantly, mind so far from what Tubbo could possibly say and only focusing on how beautiful he looked right now.

"Ash," he repeated, looking up to meet his gaze.

"Do you have a painkiller problem?"

Hey what.

"What?" Ash sputtered out, his entire body feeling like its been dunked in ice cold water.

"I didn't want to just-" Tubbo starts to ramble, hands frantically gesturing to try and make his words clearer, "I didn't want to say it like that,I'm sorry, but like- I've noticed- I've noticed how you've been bringing that regen pot with you ever since you passed out and I'm really worried you've grown a dependency and-"

"Tubbo oh my god, no!" Ash cut him off, bewildered and confused. Out of any outcome, this was one he didn't even dream of expecting.

"Look man, I know you weren't here for it but I saw how Pac got hooked on the happy pills, I know how withdrawals look and every time I've seen you its- you look kind of sick man" Tubbo looked down at his hands at the memory, real pain behind his eyes.

Fuck.

"Tubbo- I-" Ash was unsure how to even begin wording what he wanted to say, couldn't even figure out what that was he wanted to say.

"I just care for you, man, I don't want to see-"

"Tubbo I'm not dependent on regen pots, OK," Ash spoke wildly, really trying hard not to escalate anything but having a hard time, "Have you been telling people I have a drug problem!?"

Tubbo shook his head vigorously, which Ash sighed in relief at. "No, oh my god, no, that's not my place, I wanted to come to you first, I didn't mean for it to be today or right now," Tubbo continued apologizing, making Ash feel even worse. God, he accidentally led him into worrying about him for a month thinking he was battling an addiction by himself. how did he fuck up this bad.

He took a deep breath, which triggered Tubbo into doing the same, realizing himself the situations escalated more than he intended.

"Can I please explain," Ash finally was able to get out after a couple more deep breaths, and Tubbo nodded, though clearly hesitant.

Ash took another shaky breath.

"Tubbo, you're my right hand man, my genius, my engineer," Ash started, staring at his hands in his lap the whole time. He was avoiding this at all possible costs, so he had no preparation on what lie he would say. Would he lie? How could Tubbo look at him the same again?

Feeling the waves of anxiety coming off of Ash, Tubbo rested his hand on top of Ash's, attempting to help ground him.

But before Ash can even think of what he says next, Tubbo is speaking again.

"Holy shit, your hands are so warm, oh my god," Tubbo exclaims loudly, Ash's eyes snapping up to him. Ash tries to explain before the back of Tubbos hand is on his forehead, and makes another noise of horror.

"Ash, you're burning up, have you been sick the whole fucking month? Holy shit," Tubbo moves his hands so hes cupping his face, moving his hands every few seconds to check his fever.

"No, Tubbo I-" Tubbo moves his hands to be on both sides of his face, cupping his cheeks.

"Bullshit, because why else would you be this fucking warm-"

Ash closes the gap before he can even think about it, before he can process it happened.

For only a split second, he felt Tubbo's lips on his own as his flushed face was held by him.

Ash pulled away quickly, immediately realizing what he did, Tubbo's hands still holding on, his pupils blown out.

"I'm sorry, I-"

He couldn't finish before Tubbo yanked his face down into his own, crashing their lips together.

Ash lost stability for a second, leaning his hand on Tubbo's thigh to balance himself as he felt a new wave of anxiety fill him. If what he felt before was like walking a tightrope over a cliff, this was riding a roller coaster he never wanted to stop.

He seeks thrills through seizing power, through violence, but as never felt a thrill like this.

Tubbo moved a hand to the back of Ash's neck, pushing him more into himself, like they needed to be closer and closer and closer. Ash squeezed Tubbo's thigh, making the other gasp softly against his mouth, a sound Ash wants to hear forever.

They eventually part to breath, both a hair away from each other, breath tickling their lips.

Tubbo was the one to speak first.

"That," He started, smiling, "was great, but also what the fuck,"

Ash laughed, finally feeling the last drop of tension leave the two of them, the first time its happened all evening. he couldn't help himself and leaned back in to kiss Tubbo softly, to which he gladly received before pulling away and tutting.

"No, we gotta do communication, are you on drugs or not," Ash frowned at the loss of contact, but nodded, realizing how silly this whole situation is.

"So," He starts, chuckling a little in embarrassment at still having to admit this, "you know how I have a hard time at things like. Peace. or thanking people, and the such," Ash knows for sure his face has not gone down in temperature, perhaps somehow getting even warmer.

Tubbo nodded, a small smile and breath of a laugh. "Yeah, makes you all sick for some reason-" it suddenly click into place for him. Suddenly the same slow creeping smile he saw on Haiper was present on Tubbo's face, except the latter is now leaning dangerously into Ash's face just because he can.

"Did you find out you have a crush on me," Tubbo started to tease, "and it made you get all sick and shit," he was poking Ash's face with his finger now, feeling the fuzz of the particles going crazy on his face. Ash rubbed the back of his neck. he has nothing to lose now.

"And, um, pass out," he attempted to say casually, looking away.

Tubbo threw his head back in laughter, clutching at his sides.

"No fucking way, you lied about the teleporting thing? no shot?" he gasped between laughter, Ash's head buried into his hands as he rested his elbows on his legs. he changed his mind, he lost everything, hes jumping off the edge.

Tubbo calmed down after a minute, to which Ash replied in fake (or maybe real) misery with "are you done, yet?" his voice still muffled in his hands.

He was forced out of this position, though, when Tubbo moved his arms off of his legs and replaced them with himself.

Oh, OK.

he swung his legs to be wrapping Ash as he sat on the bench, his face flush from both the laughter and the kissing, his hair tousled from the wind and Ash's hands, his eyes sparkling just for him.

Ash was suddenly speechless.

"Well, you didn't seem that sick and uncomfortable a minute ago," Tubbo teased, making Ash realize he was right. the silence made Tubbo giggle, getting the confirmation he needed.

"Cant believe I made you sick and then was your cure" Tubbo tilted Ash's chin up delicately before Ash lost his composure and stole the lead from Tubbo, grabbing his waist and slotting their lips together again, Tubbo giggling against his lips as he accepted gratefully.

+ ONE

Ash was at the KFC chatting with Schlatt and Katie when his communicator got a ping, pulling it out to see its a whisper from Tubbo.

Tubbo_: can u come ovr

"That from your little boyfriend," Schlatt's words and tone would've been interpreted as mean and condescending coming from anyone else, but Ash just rolled his eyes and smiled, not confirming or denying what the other said, and said his goodbyes as he headed towards the spawn waystone.

Ash shook his head as he chuckled to himself, the stomach ache being only ever so slightly there now at being called out for his affection to Tubbo. Obviously kissing Tubbo wasn't a magical cure, but he does seem to be getting over the pseudo-symptoms the longer its been. Also, hes going to kiss Tubbo anyways, magic or not.

Ash makes it to Tubbo's base, a small apartment in his factory, letting himself in, something hes gotten used to doing the past week.

"Hey Tubbo, need any-"

He got cut off by a blanket with an awful sounding voice

"Ash I think you might've gotten me actually fucking sick," the gravely duvet interrupted, "either that or this is the funniest coincidence."

Ash pursed his lips to not laugh or smile, because that is mean, but seeing his Tubbo bed head and sleepy under blankets with the weakest voice couldn't help but be cute to him.

"Don't laugh at meeeee" Tubbo whined, making an exaggerated frown before coughing into his arm.

"I'm not laughing, I'm not laughing," Ash repeated, smile growing wider. Tubbo flipped him off from his bed as Ash sat down at the foot of it.

"Done come near me,I'm diseased, ill give you the plague," Tubbo rasped, shoo-ing Ash.

"So you called me over just so you can accuse me of getting you sick," Ash grinned, to which Tubbo nodded and then coughed again. Ash rolled his eyes and stood up. "Well too bad,I'm here now and getting you soup and water,I'm not letting you leave my sight for the next 15 minutes," Ash parroted the exact words Tubbo used after he fainted. Tubbo gasped in fake shock and betrayal.

"Revenge! you're taking revenge on me!" he put his hand to his chest, making fake exaggerated sobbing sounds while Ash walked over to him and leaned down to kiss him on the forhead.

"Its what I do best, that's why I'm the Supreme Leader," he teases.

"Then thank you, oh dear Supreme Leader, for humbling yourself to give me some canned soup. I am forever in debt," Tubbo bowed with only his hand. Ash stood up laughing as he leaned the room to get some water before he made any soup.

Its for the betterment of The Regime, of course.