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The ceiling was dark and plain. J stared up at it with unblinking eyes. She attempted to find patterns in the metalwork, but was unable to focus. 365 days. That was all she could think about. 365 days since she failed. 365 days since the world fell apart. One year since she’s been gone. J thought back to that fateful night. The screams. The pain. The blood. There was so much blood. She should’ve never let her go. Irresponsible. She should’ve listened. This was all her fault. Digital tears began to stream down J’s visor. She sank down into the mattress, still not fully accustomed to sleeping on the ceiling. Her hands gripped the sheets as the memories flashed in her head like a scene from a movie. She wished she would’ve died there too. “J?” She froze. It was Cyn. She’d heard her. “You are being rather loud in there. Giggle.” J cleared her throat. “Please go away, I do not wish to speak to you right now.” There was a sudden bang on the door. “I-is that any way to talk to your b-best friend?” “You are not my best friend,” she hissed. “You’re just a fake.” There was a pause. Then, “Huh? Whaddya mean? We’ve been friends for years! Did I do something wrong?” J flinched. She’s doing it again. “Stop that.” “You sure you’re okay in there, Jaybird? Do ya need me to come check on you?” “I said stop that.” It came out much weaker than the first time. “Cmon mate, if there’s something troubling ya, just tell me. I might be able to help!” It’s not real it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real. This time, J did not respond. She just covered her ears and started muttering to herself. “Right, I’m coming in.” There was a creak and light flooded the room. It’s not real it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real it’s not real! J felt a hand lay on her back. SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING SHE’S LYING!! “…love?” Oh fuck it. J suddenly launched herself in the direction of the voice, no longer caring if it was only a trick. “I-oh!” Both drones fell to the cold, metal floor. J held onto the imposter tighter than she’d ever held onto anything. “You…you alright there girl?” Again, J did not respond. She only squeezed harder. “Oh…cmere.” She lifted J effortlessly into her arms, something the real Tessa would never have been able to do. J chose to ignore that. Her sobs intensified as Cy-stop. Not right now. Just pretend. One more time. Pretend one more time. Her sobs intensified as Tessa began to rub small circles into her back. She felt herself getting laid back down onto the bed. J grasped desperately at the flaps of skin hanging loosely off Tessa’s arms, causing her to fall next to the drone. There was silence for a bit, spare the occasional whimper from J. After catching her breath, she heard Tessa speak. “So. You gonna talk or what?” J swallowed, or whatever the mechanical equivalent of swallowing was. “It’s been 365 days since I failed you, boss. One year today. Since I became this,” she gestured down at her enhanced form. A small chuckle emminated from the woman beside her. “Oh Jaybird,” she began, “you know you didn’t really fail me right? This way I’ll be with you forever! I can’t die! Cyn fixed me. Just liked she fixed you.” J shrank away from her a little bit. “I-I know boss.” “So quit your moping! You were crying so bloody loud N almost came to get you!” A small voice in the back of J’s head said that even he would’ve been better, but she shoved it away. Let me be content in my delusion. “I guess I should.” “Attagirl! Now cmon, let’s get outta this depressing hole, there’s work to be done!” J watched as Tessa started towards the door. It’s now or never. If you wait, who knows when you’ll be brave enough to ask her again? “Wait!” Tessa froze in the middle of the room before turning on her heel to face the robot. “Yes?” “Would uh, could you like, stay? For a minute?” J cringed internally at how vulnerable and stupid that sounded. “Like…maybe even hold me for a bit? For old time’s sake? Maybe?” God this was stupid. For a moment there was no answer and J felt herself becoming very scared of what was about to happen. “I…sure. Why not? It has been awhile.” The woman made her way back to the bed. She sat down and opened her arms. J payed no mind to the bit of flesh that fell onto her mattress and launched herself at the girl once more. She leaned against her best friend. Her human. Her Tessa. Her not-so-secret, (according to everyone who wasn’t Tessa,) gay awakening. Her favorite person. Her victim. J pushed away that last part. She became aware of faint lines being drawn on her back. Letters. Flowers. Hearts. Stars. Things J was familiar with from the time spent at the manor. Tessa would do this often, not just to J, but with everyone. When one of her drones was upset about something, couldn’t sleep, or just simply wanted comfort, that was her go to. Draw on their backs with her fingers until they calmed down. It was strange maybe, but it almost always worked. J relaxed into the embrace even more, allowing her eyelights to dim. Tessa giggled softly. “Don’t go falling asleep on me mate. We still got a few more hours in the day!” J shifted, searching for the human warmth her dead body no longer possessed. “I’m not…I’d never…even…” Again, the small voice in her head screamed at her that she was pathetic. This is not what Tessa would’ve wanted. She’s allowing herself to be gently lulled to sleep by a monster. She was a horrible, unworthy, evil, disloyal, rotten girl and she deserved to burn in hell for all of eternity. But then again…she almost thought she could feel the gentle pulse of a heartbeat. Tessa continued to trace patterns into her back, and J’s body sagged. When was the last time she’d slept? “I….I think I love you…” J muttered, her last words before slipping into unconsciousness. Tessa’s Cyn’s face twisted with her classic shit-eating grin. “Yuri-dooming chuckle. She loved you too.”