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The moment was perfect
Like a picture straight from a camera.
He remembered that moment.
“Alrgiht listen up, funnyboy-”
“Would you stop calling me that!” Kufmo's voice was a bit more pitched than he planned it to be, making the amphibian beside him let out a loud cackle of a laugh.
The pain in his side, Ribbit, was practically rolling in the grass next to the clown. “Ha ha- d-did you balls forget to drop or s-something?”
“ @#$% up” the clown's face became a brighter shade of red by the second, making the laughter grow louder. “It’s not the f u n n y”
Somehow, the laughter became louder.
“U-until you say something that doesn’t make you look like a joke, maybe.”
Kaufmo rolled his eyes as he dramatically fell on the the flower filled grass they sat on. That day was a rare occasion, a break day. Caine claimed there was no adventure that day due to the “lack of inspiration”. So the gang had some free time to themselves till the sun rose tomorrow. The grounds were showing signs of spring, due to the multitude of bright, eye-catching colors to be found blooming in the grass. Ragatha claimed it was the perfect day to pick flowers, but Jax, on the other hand, had other plans that day, somehow finding water guns with an infinite water glitch. The sound of Ragatha’s yelling in the background had proven Jax’s mission accomplished.
Ribbit was originally joining Jax in his shenanigans. But somehow she had ended up by the clown's side. A mix of multi-colored flowers in her hand as she weaved them into a pattern, giggling.
He had noticed too much that day. The way her underlashed lifted at her light teasing. How her bow made her stand out in the overwhelming green of the field. There was a light tent of pink when she laughed and mocked him. He always hated being the butt of jokes, especially hers, but lately, there has been a sudden shift in his reaction. Instead of a sudden failed attempt at a joke or a bitter comment back, he stayed silent. And dare he think it, admired her.
“Hellooooo, earth to Koffeeeeee~” Ribbit poked at his face with a finger.
The clown snapped out of his thoughts, noticing how close they were to one another. Without thinking, he lifted without warning, bumping their head together. A pain yelp followed.
“Ow, what the heck, Kaufmo!?” the anphibian rubbed her hand against her forehead. “Man you head must be dense. I tried to get your attention for like 3 minutes.”
“Sorry, just… thinking.”
“Penny for ya thoughts,” RIbbit leaned towards him, giggling. “Must be something interesting if it has a bonehead like you quite.”
Another insult, he would have usually bit back. But he laughed at her smile. It made him feel something that he hadn’t felt in a long time. He just couldn’t put his finger on, or begin to understand, what the feeling meant or was.
“I was thinking of a way to make you shut up.”
He thought it was a sad attempt at a clever comeback. But now, in the present, he wished he had said more. So, so much more.
He wishes he could take back every try-hard funny joke and replace them with every thought he had kept to himself. Finally, say the definition of that stupid feeling that he would lie awake thinking about.
He loved her.
He loved her smile.
He loved her giggle.
He loved her bold jokes.
He.
Loved.
Her.
But those words would never make it out. She would never be able to hear those words. And as he stood in front of her picture at her funeral. As he did his best to swallow back the burning lump in his throat, Ragatha said her final words. As he stood and watched the scene with a space next to him, missing a friend he needed support from at that moment. As the tears slowly built from streams, to pools, to oceans.
There was regret. A bitter burning regret.
That in that flower field, he could have said the words he didn’t understand in that moment.
“I love you.”