Archive of Our Own

Avery sat, staring at his screen, the death message mocking him. Well. Not really. But it sure did feel like it. He… Didn't know what to do. There was a sinking pit in his stomach as he thought about what was happening to D3r- No- Derek. God, how could he be so devastated over someone he didn't even truly know?

Leaning back in his chair, the creaking far too loud in his silent apartment, Avery brought his hands up to rest his face in them and just set his elbows on his desk. Sitting there, defeated, heart heavy with a grief that felt so tangible it was like a weighted blanket draped over his shoulders and anchoring him in place. He knew that he should get up, tend to his body's needs, get water and food, and rest. That all felt next to impossible right now, though- How was he supposed to sleep when the events of this whole past… Day? God, he was stuck in a loop for 12 fucking hours.

Glancing at the clock at the corner of the laptop's screen, Avery blinked a few times before huffing out a humorless laugh. After midnight. Happy frickin new years. Another laugh, a bit uncontrolled, a bit hysterical, bubbled up out of him. But it quickly melted into a choked half-sob. Why was he so upset-?? He didn't even know the person he was mourning! God, maybe that's what was so devastating. The fact that he never would get to know Derek, while the other man apparently had known… Everything about him. And sacrificed himself to ensure that the King wouldn't escape that digital prison of a Minecraft world. To make sure Avery himself wouldn't be practically rewritten by the King taking over his mind.

This was insane, and Avery didn't know what to do. If he hadn't witnessed everything that had happened firsthand, he would think this was some crazy and awful hoax of some kind. But the ache in his chest and a heaviness still lingering in his mind assured him that the events of the past 15 or so hours had truly happened.

Even though it felt like a herculean task, Avery slowly rolled his chair back and stood up on unsteady legs. Glancing back at the laptop before reaching out with one hand to slam it closed. Not caring if the abrupt violence of that motion broke the damn thing or not. All he knew was that he didn't want to look at that mocking death screen anymore. Shuffling slowly and a bit painfully to the kitchen, Avery grabbed a cup and filled it with tap water. Downing the whole thing, refilling it, and downing that as well. Thirst catching up to him and reminding him of the fact that again… He'd gone twelve whole hours in some kind of trance. Mindlessly repeating tasks until he caught sight of those signs-

Another sob threatened to bubble up, but got caught painfully in his chest. Setting the cup down with shaking hands, Avery slowly sank down to sit on the floor, curling his legs up to his chest and resting his forehead on his knees. So many instances, D3r- Derek- Had used his smarts and saved him. The other had tried to warn him, even when all the knowledge of the world was threatening to break his mind apart at the seams. Had left those signs, knowing that what was in that book in the church would almost break Avery permanently. Had- Used those very same smarts to trick Avery, to save him, to make sure the King wouldn't take over him.

This time, the tears did finally come. Welling up in tired eyes and streaking down tan cheeks. Burying his face further against his knees, Avery shook with the force of the sobs rattling through his frame. Getting all these emotions out felt comparable to getting his heart scraped out with a plastic pumpkin scooper, but in the end, it was better to get these emotions out rather than the typical route of just bottling them up. Not sure how long had passed by the time the tears finally subsided, Avery scrubbed at his face with the heels of his hands. Carefully pushing himself back up to stand and walking numbly to his bedroom again.

The laptop still sitting on his desk was spared just a passing glance, but right now, Avery couldn't muster up the energy to care about it anymore. So he just flopped face-first onto his bed, turning his head just enough to be able to breathe, and practically passed out as exhaustion finally caught up to him and hit him like a train. Even with the lingering fear of what his dreams may be like, sleep dragged Avery down quickly into the darkness. Blessedly, there were no dreams or nightmares that plagued him.

After some time, a thin strip of light from between his curtains shone through and fell across his eyes. Scrunching his face and groaning, Avery rolled over and buried his face against a pillow. Wanting nothing more but to sleep like… A few more hours at least. Alas, the world wasn't so kind as to let him get some more rest, so after a few minutes of failing to fall back asleep, Avery slowly pushed himself up to a sitting position. Rubbing his hands over his face again and groaning tiredly at the headache that was pulsing behind his eyes. Food was needed before he did anything else.

So, on unsteady legs, Avery once more passed by the laptop sitting on his desk with only a sidelong glance before moving to his kitchen. Opening the fridge and staring at the kind of depressing contents with his eyes squinted against the bright light. A few moments later, Avery had pulled out some leftover pizza and was watching it spin slowly in his microwave. Hunger won over the rolling in his gut as the memories washed back over him of what happened. Even if nausea was sitting in the pit of his stomach, he knew that at least some nutrients were needed so he could actually try to think about what to do.

Carrying the plate with a couple of pieces of pizza on it, Avery walked back to his room and took a seat at his desk. Staring down at the closed laptop with unease plucking at the back of his mind. Gaze shifting over to his phone, Avery reached to pick that up instead of opening the laptop back up for the time being. Thankfully, his phone still had at least 40% charge, so he could open up his messages to glance through them to see if he missed anything glaringly important. Nothing unusual at first glance- Wait. Pausing mid-chew, Avery squinted at the little circle near the 'message request' section of his messaging app, showing he had a new message from someone.

Sure, that wasn't typically too suspicious. Could be someone sending him something from a random server he's in, or it could be just a spam message or something. But right now? Seeing that message notification bubble had alarm bells going off in his head.

But…

Even though it'd been proven multiple times that curiosity could have higher consequences than he could've ever thought before—

Avery tapped on the notification after a few more moments of hesitation. Once everything loaded up, it took a few moments for what he was looking at to register properly in his mind. He knew that username. He knew that username.

D3rlord3 : alive

D3rlord3: head hurt so smuch btuu m alive

D3rlord3: the king is gone

Avery's hand flew up to cover his mouth, emotions welling up and sticking in his throat, heart pounding in his chest. God, he had experienced far too many extreme emotions in a short period of time. Taking a few minutes to just catch his breath, Avery hovered his fingers over his phone screen, trying to figure out how he was going to respond. Just last night, he had fully mourned this person, this practical stranger.

Now, though? The relief coursing through him at knowing that Derek was alive was almost staggering. Before he could second-guess himself, Avery typed out and sent the first thing that he could think of.

averythemayo: holy crap dude

averythemayo: im not asking how you found me on here bc i know what you told me

averythemayo: youre really alive

averythemayo: im like

averythemayo: so fricken glad to hear from you but also screw you for like pulling some self-sacrificing crap and making me full on mourn you dude

Sure, the last thing Derek probably needed was being bombarded by messages, but Avery felt it was at least kind of deserved as well. In the few moments after sending the last message, though, insecurity and anxiety started to rear their ugly heads. It was while Avery fought against the urge to just delete the second half of the last message that his phone buzzed with an incoming… Call from the other? Oh, shoot, dang, he wasn't ready for a call but-

His finger automatically tapped the 'answer' button, despite the fear and insecurity warring in his chest. Turning the volume up on his phone, Avery cleared his throat and took a breath before speaking hesitantly. "Uh. Sup?"

A breathy little laugh crackled through the speakers at that, and Avery would firmly deny if anyone were to ask whether his heart did a little jump at that sound. "Hey. Screen… Hurts. Uh…" A few seconds of pause before the sound of a throat being cleared could be heard. "I… You're, um. Who I wanted to reach out to first, Avery." At the sound of his name in the other's voice, Avery had to take a moment to bury his face in the crook of his arm. Just the sound of his voice in general was more reassuring than he could ever think a voice could be.

Derek sounded tired, obviously, and a rasp underlayed that tired breathiness. Cluing Avery in that the other probably hadn't spoken out loud in quite some time. "I- Uh- God. Dude, you sure have a flair for the dramatic," Avery muttered before furrowing his eyebrows and clearing his throat. "I'm probably not as weirded out as I should be by the fact you took hold of that freaky 'knowledge of everything all at once' to like find my socials to add and message me. In fact, I'm like, really, uh, relieved? Yeah. I frickin' cried last night, you prick. How dare you use your big brain moves on me to trick me when I was, like, emotionally volatile and crap! I know it was, like, for the better of humanity or some bull like that, but still! I thought you were dead!"

Avery was rambling; he knew he was rambling, it was a nervous habit that he just couldn't quite kick to the curb. But even while he was cringing a bit at the oversharing rambles and breathing just a little heavily after the outburst, he was graced by another tiredly amused huff from the person on the other side of the screen. This was another thing- Hearing Derek kind of cemented that this was real. Derek was a real person, not just some avatar in Minecraft. Everything that happened was real. Completely and utterly insane, but it happened, and they both had made it out.

"Yeah… I deserve the chewing out," Derek said after a few moments, "but I'm alive. I- Sure, my head feels a bit like a watermelon someone took a metal bat to, but I'm… Myself? I don't feel like the yellow bastard tucked itself away in my head properly. Looks like the shit I went through first go around really messed up the plans it had more than I already messed them up." A noise like a sigh whooshed through the speakers, and Derek paused again. Silence stretched just a few seconds before he continued to speak, voice gaining strength just a bit as he went on.

"I understand if… This is the last contact you want to have with me. I don't have like… Everything all at once in my head all clamoring and fighting to be heard anymore, really. It kind of just- If I think too hard on something, it's like a tsunami that threatens to crash back over me, but if it's not important information, I don't retain it." Clearing his throat, sounding almost bashful, almost ashamed, he spoke a bit quieter. "I remember a lot about you, still, though. Not- Uh- Not like super personal shit, just like small things. Your favorite color. Your favorite food. Um-"

A slightly longer pause stretched on, leaving Avery to process what was being said. Out of all the things that could be held onto from what he learned, Derek wanted to remember him? And thought that tidbits of information about him were important enough to remember? Before he could spiral too much into that, though, Avery registered that the other was speaking again. "I know what you look like, too. I'm sorry, I know that's probably really weird considering you only know my name and that's it, but," an embarrassed break, another cleared throat, "I think holding onto the memories of you helped me kind of pull through quicker than I should have."

Now that sure was a suckerpunch to emotions, and Avery could feel his face warming up at the bluntness as well. Along with just the smidge of self-consciousness at the back of his mind at knowing that Derek knew what he looked like. "Yeah, that's… Kinda weird," Avery said without fully thinking, but at the sharp inhale from the other side of the speakers, he barreled on without thinking. "But also it's kind of like flattering too, cause I don't think I really have ever mattered that much to someone? And like, you could've remembered something so much more important than lil ol' me, y'know? Prolly could've known like… The next winning multimillion-dollar lotto numbers or something, but nah, you wanted to remember… me? I… Think that kinda makes us even on some things."

The hazy memory of the many hours he spent just in a loop after reading that book in the church had a shiver going down his back, and Avery shook his head sharply. "Those signs you'd put in that freaky church area, that was you, yeah?" When Derek made a little 'mhmm' noise of confirmation, Avery continued on. "Well, you brought me back to myself with those. So… I'm glad that I, uh, could return the favor. Even if it was just some little tidbits of information about, well, me, that helped you. And not some really kind words on some pixel signs."

When Derek responded, there was a little waver to his voice, which made Avery's heart clench in his chest. "I think… I owe you much more, still. I don't, uh, know if I'd be here still if I didn't have something to hold onto and anchor myself with." Emotions choking him up a bit, Avery blinked back tears and scrubbed his forearm across his face quickly before clearing his throat. Trying to speak around the lump that was thick in his throat.

"Uh- Well. I'm… I'm glad that you're still around, Derek. I think… I would like to be able to get to know you, the good ol' fashioned way. Not by getting like, mind-beamed everything about you into my brain like you got with me. And, who knows, maybe we can find some stuff that we both like. Don't you think I'm getting this one conversation out of you and then settle with never hearing from you again- Nah, that won't fly, dude. You're, uh, kinda stuck with me now."

When Derek spoke next, Avery swore he could hear at least a slight smile in his tone. "Yeah… I'd really like that, Avery."

Several months had passed since that insane New Year's Eve, and the two, tangled by chance and fate, were still in contact. If anything, they were closer than ever imagined. Avery didn't go a single day without messaging Derek, and Derek almost always responded right away. They messaged, and called, and here recently they'd been doing more video calls too. And Avery was so normal about getting to see what the other man looked like. Totally. Yup, completely normal. Derek didn't hesitate to tease him about just how normal he reacted as well, and Avery truly couldn't be mad at the teasing. It was nice, though, getting to see each other. Even if it was through a screen. They definitely had plenty of time to spend together, too, which was… Comforting, in a way.

Turns out that Derek worked remotely, doing freelance IT work, which was something that he thankfully was able to get back to doing. It was kind of funny, and something that he'd brought up to Derek a few times, that both of them had a job relating to technology. Avery worked at a small, locally run computer repair shop and dealt with more hardware issues than the stuff that Derek worked on. But Avery explained how he was just trying to find a project laptop to tinker around with when he'd seen the listing for The Laptop™, as they'd taken to calling it.

Which- The Laptop™ was shoved into Avery's closet, in a bag, and under a couple of blankets right now. Both of them were pretty sure that the old thing didn't hold power any longer, but they didn't want to take any risks. Avery wanted to destroy it, eventually, but… At the same time, there was the worry that destroying it just could risk freeing something. So, at the back of his closet it stayed for now. Derek agreed that was the best course of action, as well.

A thought had been bouncing around in Avery's mind here recently, too. Even though it'd been a few months, anxiety still prickled up and kept him from asking what he was thinking each time he almost spoke up. This time, though, tonight, while the two were sitting on call as usual? Avery wasn't gonna let anxiety win. So, while watching Derek bumble around in the Minecraft server they'd created together, Avery cleared his throat nervously. Prompting a curious hum from the other, and where their cameras were in the corner of the screen, Avery saw Derek's gaze shift to look at him. Which, oh boy, that sure didn't help the anxiety prickling at the back of his neck.

"So, uh, I've been thinking- We're like. Close now, right?" Nervously fidgeting with the sleeves of his jacket, Avery rocked back in his seat and scrunched his face as he glanced to where Derek was still watching him attentively. Seeing him nod to answer the question had at least a little relief loosen the worry tight in his chest, and gave him the courage to continue on with what he wanted to ask. "Would you, uh, want to- Meet up some time? Like. In person. If you'd want, y'know?"

After a short pause, Derek tilted his head, an expression on his face that was briefly hard to read before it shifted into a crooked little smile that had ill-advised warmth settling in Avery's chest. "I… I think that'd be nice." That admission had the nervousness over asking melt away, only to be replaced with the anxiety of oh god that means we'll be in the same space at some point-

Still, giddiness bubbled up in Avery, and he couldn't stop the little happy wiggle from side to side that he did while still sitting down. Smiling so hard that his cheeks hurt, and his eyes were squinted a little. "Awesome! Uh- I can… Look at plane tickets? Would… Do you want to come here? Or me there? Cause like I don't care either way, I just wanna be-" Cutting himself off mid-ramble, Avery cleared his throat and composed himself a little bit before he said too much and was too weird and made Derek possibly change his mind or something. "Just wanna be able to visit, either way."

Derek noticed the pause, the redirect, and the way that Avery dimmed his energy there. But… He didn't say anything, afraid to call it out, worried to bring attention to something that may accidentally dim the light of the person who brought so much light to his life. "Hey, it's alright, I can cover it. You should come here. I did a complex fix on some big-wig's computer recently, and he tipped pretty well, so I have some tucked-away funds that I wanted to use for something special. This, in my opinion, is definitely something special."

Blinking and looking back to the little camera square, Avery let his gaze linger a few moments on Derek's face. The sincerity of his expression while saying that this visit would be something special. Oh, it was so hard to squash down the way that line had traitorous hope rising in his mind and an emotion he was afraid to inspect settling and warming in his chest. "Okay- If you're like, fully sure? I'd, uh, pay back half of what the tickets cost, maybe." Wiggling his mouse and tapping keys on his keyboard, Avery made his avatar crouch and uncrouch a few times in a jittery little dance before sprinting in a few circles around Derek's gladiator avatar. It was a good way to get out his nerves while not actually getting up from his chair and pacing back and forth repetitively to dispel some energy.

"Yeah, promise, I'm really sure. I… Kinda wanted to ask you the same thing, but freaked out and talked myself out of it every time. Figures, can face down some eldrich god-king thing, sure, no problem. But asking the, like, most important person in my life to visit? Nah, anxiety goes haywire." Derek huffed a short little burst of laughter, rubbing a hand nervously over his face when Avery blinked a few times and stared at him. The words 'important person' pinging around his skull like a pinball a few times. Face heating again, and leaving him thankful that it was dim in his room and that it was hard to tell he was probably blushing.

"Aw, dude, I'm important to youuu~" Avery chimed in a sing-song tone, playfully scooting his avatar closer to Derek's and smacking harmlessly at him to hopefully draw attention away from his own brief flustered reaction. The distraction was successful, too. Considering Derek spluttered out an indignant little laugh, leaning in closer to his screen and engaging in a quick chase around their world.

"Yeah, punk! Get treasured, idiot," Derek shot right back at Avery, a rare and wholly unrestrained smile bright on his face. These moments made everything that the both of them had gone through just… Worth it. Being able to smile and laugh and have joy despite the horrors. Once they finished with the brief burst of energy, a slightly more serious mood briefly settled over the call. "But really, in all seriousness, you do know you're… Very important to me, right, Aves? I think even if what we went through didn't happen, we would've met somehow, somewhere. But in this time, here and now, you're very dear to me."

The sudden seriousness, the absolute honesty in Derek's tone, the fact that he was making eye contact scarily well just through a camera, the nickname- All of those things was a four-piece combo perfectly executed to absolutely take Avery out. Making a little garbled noise at the back of his throat, Avery crossed his arms over his face and hid for a few moments. Heat rising to his face and for sure blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. "You can't just say that shit out of the blue," he muttered, muffled by the sleeves of his hoodie. While Avery wasn't looking at the screen, he missed the utterly and achingly fond expression that settled on Derek's face for a few moments before he carefully schooled it back to a more tame yet still fond smile.

"I can and will say things like that because I mean them," he said, tone softer. Which just made Avery grumble another flustered sound, burying his face further in his arms for a few more moments. When the call of needing to breathe won over the want to hide his flushed face, Avery sat up and aimed a glare at Derek. Of course, that glare held no actual heat behind it, really.

Heaving a sigh, he shook his head and puffed his cheeks out a little. "I know- And that's why you can't just say things like that. Gotta warn a man, Derek-" Scrunching his nose when Derek snorted an amused laugh, Avery narrowed his eyes and stared a little harder. "Hey, no, stop that- Don't laugh at my suffering-" Leaning back dramatically, Avery threw an arm up and draped it over his face. "Mocked! Ridiculed! How will I carry on!"

When his dramatics did exactly what he wanted- Making Derek laugh again, full-bodied and wonderful, Avery peeked from under his arm so he could watch the way the other man's face lit up with his smile and laughter. Yeah, he'd make a fool of himself as much as needed as long as he got to see that smile and hear that laughter.

Dropping his arm back down and leaning to just rest his elbows on the desk, Avery propped his chin up in his palms and hummed a low noise in his throat. "You're important to me too, Derek," he said after a few moments, despite how being open about emotions was always terrifying. It was rewarding getting to see the tables turned, though, when Derek spluttered a surprised sound, and his eyes went wide for a few moments.

"Hey- Not fair-" Avery grinned toothily, tongue poking a little between his teeth and nose scrunched playfully.

"How the turn tables! See what I mean? Get a taste of your own medicine, Der," Avery teased lightheartedly. "Anyways, okay, that's enough emotions right now because my heart can't take it. C'mon, let's explore some, and then we can look for tickets later."

Once recovered from his own words reflected back at him, Derek huffed a breath and shook his head with a little amused smile. "Yeah, I think that works just fine."

Before they knew it, the day was upon them for the visit. Avery made sure to message Derek to let him know when he got to the airport, when he'd gotten his bags checked in, and when he was waiting at the gate he'd be boarding from. In return, Derek made sure to tell Avery what he'd be wearing and that he'd be waiting for him by the baggage claim once off the plane.

Avery was about ready to jitter out of his skin while sitting in the airport- All kinds of emotions bouncing around in him, along with general nerves and anxiety around airplanes. Almost as if he knew Avery was kind of freaking out, the notification sound signifying Derek had texted went off and snapped Avery out of his spiral. Taking a deep breath and pulling out his phone, Avery tapped on the messaging app to look at the message.

D3rlord3: your flights gonna go just fine, Aves.

D3rlord3: smooth as butter, i promise. and i'll be waiting for you.

Smiling faintly at the messages, Avery let out a slow and steady breath. Reassurances from Derek always were- Nice. Felt more in a way. Avery trusted that they were fully sincere. A bit more grounded, now, he glanced at the time and saw it was closing in on time to board the plane. A little more excitement slipped through and took place in the forefront, while the anxiety had faded into the background. Sending a quick thank you text to Derek before just absently scrolling through some social media, Avery kept one ear perked to listen for the announcement about boarding his plane.

When the speakers finally announced it was time, Avery took another deep, calming breath and stood up from his seat. Getting in line, showing his ticket, then filing onto the plane. Sending a message as soon as he was seated that he was on the plane, now, and would be turning his phone to airplane mode. Once that was done, Avery tilted his head back to rest against the headrest and closed his eyes briefly. He didn't even remember the last time he'd gotten on a plane- This would be a trip that was so worth it, though.

Trying to not to get lost in ill-advised daydreams, he opened his eyes again and turned to the window he was sitting next to. Window seats were prime real estate, and he'd not be convinced otherwise. Half paying attention to the safety spiel that the pilot was giving, Avery just kept his eyes out the window. Watching as, eventually, the plane started to move. It was the initial liftoff that always was most nerve-wracking to him- Closing his eyes, Avery fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, counting his breaths until it seemed like the plane was fully ascended and steadied out.

Only then did he open his eyes and glance back towards the window, watching the clouds and seeing how the sun was starting to come up and light them up like multicolored cotton candy. Breathing out a calmer breath and loosening his clenched fingers from the hem of his comfort hoodie, Avery leaned and just watched the outside for a while. Dozing off eventually, head rested against the glass of the window.

Thankfully, he slept the whole flight and through the landing, as well. So he didn't have the anxiety during landing, either. When the pilot came on over the speakers, though, Avery blinked blearily awake. A few moments of confusion as to where he was swirling around in his mind before everything hit and clarified again. Holy shit, he was landed- He was here- He was just a few minutes away from unboarding off the plane and going to see Derek. Be in his space, be able to see him in person and not just through a camera—

Taking a deep breath so as not to feel as if he was about to vibrate out of his seat, he shifted his attention to watching as people started standing and getting their carry-on bags down before shuffling to get ready to get off the plane. Once the rows nearest to him started rising and getting their items, Avery also went ahead and stood up while hefting his backpack up and onto his shoulder. Careful, though, to not accidentally bump it into the person who'd been in the seat next to him-

Before he forgot, Avery also wiggled his phone out of his pocket and turned it off of airplane mode. Waiting a few moments for the signal to catch back up before sending a message to Derek, letting the other man know he'd landed and was about to get off the plane. Task completed, Avery glanced up and saw his opportunity to slip into the aisle and start making his way out of the plane. Nervousness bounced around in his chest and fluttered in his stomach, but excitement mostly overshadowed the nervousness. Once he was off the plane and had navigated into the actual airport, Avery took just a moment to take a calming breath with his hand pressed to his chest.

As soon as the deep breath whooshed out in a quick exhale, Avery nodded decisively to himself and looked around for the sign that'd direct him to the baggage claim. That would direct him to the most important person in his life. Smiling at that thought, Avery started walking again, weaving around people with purpose in his steps. Eyes flicking around, keeping a lookout for the green hoodie that Derek had said he would be wearing.

Once he was close enough to see the conveyor belt that was rotating luggage around slowly, Avery paid even closer attention before— There.

Holy shit.

This was real

Derek was there, standing, looking a bit unsure, a bit nervous, but there. Leaning on the cane that Avery had urged him to get. Long hair tied back, but still endearingly messy, strands curling around his narrow face. So much clearer than through a camera-

Before he could tamp down the first instinct that bubbled up like the words making their way up his throat, Avery threw a hand up and waved to catch his attention. Calling out in a voice that was probably too loud, too joyous, but in that moment, he couldn't bring himself to be self-conscious. "Derek! Here!"

Instantly, that sharp gaze swung around and locked right on Avery. A moment passed where everything felt like it paused… Before the world was in motion again, and Avery had to keep himself from making a further fool of himself by full-on sprinting over. Instead, he settled on speedwalking closer. Coming to a halt just a couple of paces away from Derek, eyes wide and smile wider, cheeks hurting a bit from how much he was smiling.

Derek was smiling right back, as well, in that way that had Avery's traitorous heart skip a beat each time. "I'm here," he muttered, holding his arms out after only a moment's hesitation. And Derek, bless him, thankfully didn't hesitate before taking the next step forward and folding his arms around Avery's shorter but stockier form.

For the few moments this hug went on, the people, the airport, nothing else existed to Avery. All that mattered right in this here and now was the solid reassurance of Derek in his arms. The other's tall and lanky form just about melting into the hug with a sigh, resting his cheek against the top of Avery's head. A perfect fit-

Before his mind took off without his permission, Avery gave a gentle squeeze of his arms around Derek's middle before reluctantly leaning back a little. He'd already warned Derek of the fact that he was a very physical person. It wasn't like that was something he got to indulge often, though. There… Weren't really any other important people in his life any longer. Which, in short, he was painfully touch-starved.

Okay! That was not a thought to linger on right now, though. All Avery wanted to focus on was the way that perfect smile still lingered on Derek's face, and the fact that in person, he could see the way that the corners of his eyes crinkled in the kindest way with that smile as well. "Holy shit, this is actually real," Derek muttered in absent disbelief before shaking his head and huffing a quiet laugh. "Hi, Aves, I'm so glad you're here."

Oh, Derek was trying to kill him. This was gonna be it, Avery thought. His heart was just gonna give up in the first few days of being here. What a perfect way to go, though.

Internal dramatics aside, Avery nodded quickly, not quite willing to step back more yet. Even if he did have to keep an eye out for his suitcase here soon. He didn't want to leave Derek's orbit yet. "I'm so glad I'm here, too- I, like, totally conked out on the plane, too. Can't be anxious if you're unconscious!" Laughing at himself, Avery rocked back on his heels a little and shoved his hands in his pockets. Fighting back the urge to just grab hold of one of Derek's hands to see if their fingers fit well together. He had some impulse control, okay?

Gifted with watching the way Derek's face scrunched in amusement when he laughed, Avery knew he probably looked like… Starstruck. But he couldn't quite bring himself to care right at the moment. "Well, I'm glad you got some sleep. I think I got just a couple hours last night because I was so nervous for today," Derek admitted, glancing aside and leaning a little more onto his cane. Avery took notice of that immediately, and already he was glancing to see if there were any seats nearby and considering ushering the taller man to sit. That notion was brushed aside for the moment, though, in fear of being overbearing or something.

"Oh, dude, I promise you, I only conked out on the plane because I was exhausted too- I ain't meant for early hours. I'm gonna need to take a nap once we get back to your place. Speaking of- Wait a minute, I see my suitcase, lemme grab that so we can get a move on." Reaching a hand out, Avery patted Derek's arm with a bright grin before spinning on his heel and trotting over to scoop up his suitcase before it disappeared behind the plastic curtains into the back area again.

Suitcase acquired, Avery made his way back over to Derek right after. Taking note of how gold-tinted eyes hadn't stopped looking at him this whole time. It was a little like being studied like a bug, but in a… Positive way? A little overwhelming, though, so Avery gave a quiet nervous chuckle and rubbed at the back of his neck while glancing away. "Alright- Uh. Lead the way? I'm followin' you. I'm sure that both of us wanna be out of this place and somewhere comfortable sooner rather than later."

Laughing softly, Derek nodded and pulled himself up to a slightly more upright posture. Holding onto his cane more securely and looking contemplative for a moment before sticking his hand out towards Avery. The action had Avery's mind briefly bluescreening, almost going for a handshake out of habit, but he registered the way that Derek's cheeks had darkened a bit further and that he was looking away for the first time in this interaction.

Bashfulness, that's what registered in Avery's mind as to what the expression on Derek's face was. As well as a bit of nerves. And, well, that just wouldn't do. The brain cells fired off for Avery, and he reached to take Derek's hand in his. Just like he'd wanted to do right from the very start. The fit was perfect, just like he'd hoped it would be. When Derek looked back at him, a little glint of surprise in his eyes, Avery just beamed brightly at him. "Followin' your lead, Der."

Slowly, a smile of his own made its home on Derek's face, and he gave a quick nod. Squeezing Avery's hand in his briefly before turning and making his way through the airport. Having to move just a little awkwardly a few times when someone tried to walk through their connected arms- But Avery was determined, he wasn't about to let go, and he just did his best to step closer to Derek's side as they walked. Suitcase rolling along behind him, as well.

After that ordeal, it was a relief to step out into the brisk air outside. Avery breathed out a sigh, posture slumping a moment before he bounced back up and shimmied closer to gently bump his hip against Derek's. "Out of the chaos- Alright, to your chariot, m'lord!" Derek's raised eyebrows and crooked little grin had Avery's heart skipping a beat, and he knew he was cheesing right back.

"Really? Dork," Derek muttered, but his tone was fond, and he shook his head just slightly before tugging on Avery's hand to signify they were about to be on the move again. Thankfully, it didn't seem like they had to go too far, which Avery was glad for. Not for himself, no, but he'd noticed the limp that Derek was walking with had gotten a little worse since the initial few minutes of meeting.

He knew that the other suffered mobility issues before the whole events of the KiY, but that time of sitting at the computer for… So long. Without being able to look away, to get up and move without horrible pain. That… That took a toll on him. Sure, Derek had told him that he got up and powered through the agony when absolutely necessary, but still. That trauma and stress was the cause of the premature white and grey streaks winding through his hair-

Avery hoped that Derek wasn't too self-conscious about those. If he were a braver man, he'd speak on how he thought that really, it suited his looks. Shaking out of his wandering thoughts when Derek gave his hand one more squeeze before needing to let go so he could get his car keys out, Avery blinked and focused back in on the here and now. "My, as you call it, chariot. She's an old gal, but she works." Avery snorted a little laugh as he watched Derek unlock the car and then pop the trunk. Making his way around to heft his suitcase and up and in before sliding his backpack off and setting it in the trunk as well. Closing it back and moving around to the passenger side afterward.

"As long as you have faith, then I trust you and your ability to get us back to your humble abode," Avery shot right back with a grin before opening the passenger side door once it was unlocked. Watching as Derek collapsed his cane and stuck it in the backseat before also getting in and sitting down with a huff.

Thankfully, the following drive wasn't awkward at all- The bits of silence between their conversation were comfortable. Avery knew he was probably staring too much, as well, but… It was such a wonder to be able to see Derek in person. Not through a camera in a room kept dim most of the time. He was able to see the details. The eyebags that were stubbornly sticking under Derek's eyes, despite the fact that he'd said he really has been sleeping better- The beauty mark below the corner of his lips. His profile, in general, was just… Nice.

Blinking when he realized Derek was glancing back at him while they were stopped at a red light, Avery felt his face warming a little. "Sorry, just- Hard to believe I'm like sitting right next to you, in your car, going to your place. Several months ago, I was worried I'd never get to know you, and now, here we are. In person. Knowing each other well." The rambling explanation had Derek's expression softening a little before he had to look back towards the road as the light turned green.

"Yeah, no, I get it. I… I really thought I'd been done for, too. I don't know how I'm still here, but I sure am glad to be." Huffing a humorless laugh, Derek briefly shook his head. "Didn't escape unscathed, though, and you know that. It's not easy sometimes. But I think… Having your support, knowing you, helps. We have one another's back."

Even though the sentiment has been shared several times, it never failed to fluster Avery further. It was hard to believe, still, that it was thoughts and facts about him that was what helped Derek anchor himself and fight back against the onslaught of the King. The knowledge that he was so important to someone and that he'd inadvertently saved Derek just by existing? It was a lot. "Yeah- Well. Stuck with me, dude." Pausing and giving a crooked grin, despite the fact that Derek couldn't look at him right now while paying attention to driving, Avery snorted a laugh. "Stuck to you like slime."

That prompted a playfully exasperated groan, and Derek reached a hand out to bonk his fist against Avery's shoulder. Laughing, pleased at the response, Avery leaned back in the car's seat a bit. "Hey, there's a reason that's my Minecraft skin! I'm clingy! Could also probably bounce something off my gut like you could bounce stuff off of a slime block." Patting his hand on his stomach, soft from a layer of fat, Avery snorted another little laugh. Before this, he'd probably have been saying that in a self-deprecatory manner. But right now, it was just stating a fact and continuing with the bit he'd started.

"Pfff- Sure, I'm gonna get a coin and bounce it off your head more like, doofus," Derek said through a smile. And again, Avery couldn't help but marvel at the smile lines on the other's face, and the way his nose scrunched in such a cute way.

Wait, halt, full stop- Avery reined in his thoughts and fought against the urge to physically shake his head. He couldn't keep thinking about his friend that way. Too terrified that if he let something slip, did something wrong, that he'd lose the other. Weird him out, make him leave, or something. And Avery couldn't take that. So, he'd shove down all the emotions and all the thoughts about how he thought Derek was handsome. About that, now he knew how their hands fit together, he wanted to hold his hand all the time. How he wanted Derek in his arms more now that he knew about how Derek's frame felt in a hug. How, from the way the other man just about melted into that hug in the airport, Avery knew that the other was just as touch-starved.

Clenching his jaw and breathing a slow sigh out of his nose, Avery closed his eyes and tilted his head to just lightly thump against the window. Missing the concerned little glance from Derek as he did this- But it was okay, it'd be okay, everything would be fine. They had one another, they'd found one another, and Avery was determined to not ruin whatever they had with some stupid emotions. He could be content as could be just having Derek as his dearest friend and nothing more.

… It was hard to ignore the ache in his chest at that thought, but it was alright; he was accustomed to putting other people's comforts in front of his own. So, after a few minutes, he'd pulled himself back together as best as he could. Sitting back up and crossing his arms in what hopefully came off as a casual motion while looking back over at Derek again. "So, what do ya have planned once we're back home to su casa, mi amigo?" Avery asked with a little grin and eyebrow wiggle. Snorting a laugh at the way Derek rolled his eyes briefly.

"First off, I think both of us need a nap. I'm going to need to sit, at the very least. My hips and knees really aren't too happy with me-" pausing and briefly taking one hand off the wheel, Derek pointed at Avery. "No apologies from you, cause you know this is something worth a bit of a pain flare up," he continued without giving Avery a single chance to speak.

Shrinking down in the seat a bit, Avery gave a sheepish little smile. Derek… Definitely knew his less healthy habits of taking blame that wasn't his to take. "Yeah- Yeah, I know," he muttered, puffing his cheeks out a little and huffing a breath before sitting back up in the seat again. "A nap will prolly be great, though, that I can agree on with like no hesitation." Grin taking a bit more of a sincere warmth to it again, Avery patted his hand down on Derek's, where he'd still been pointing at him.

"So, what, we gonna pull the 'there's only one bed' shit and be all like-" putting his hands up to his face, propping his chin on his palms and dramatically fluttering his eyelashes even though Derek couldn't see the dramatics- "Oh, nooo, I couldn't take your bed, I'll sleep on the couch-" Dropping his hands to his hips, Avery deepened his voice in a silly mimic of Derek's tone. "No, I'm not making you sleep on the couch, my dearest friend-"

Before he could continue the theatrics, Derek reached a hand out again and slapped his hand over Avery's mouth with a little 'pat' of his palm against his lips. Avery couldn't help but huff a laugh through his nose, and just barely resisted the urge to lick Derek's palm in retaliation. "Shut up," Derek muttered, with no actual heat behind it. And when Avery looked closer, he could see the darkening of his friend's cheeks and the tips of his ears. Cute.

"I think we'll be fine sharing my bed. I pitched some cash to a bigger bed and a better mattress recently, since someone gets onto me for not taking better care of myself." Derek glared briefly and pointedly over at Avery, who just held his hands up in mock surrender since he still couldn't talk with Derek's hand over his mouth.

Then, those words registered, and Avery blinked a couple of times, moving to lightly tug the hand covering his mouth away. "Y'sure?" He asked slowly, uncharacteristically uncertain. Sure, Derek hadn't seemed to be any kind of judgmental or anything when Avery had told him how physical of a person he was. Didn't seem to shy away from touch so far in the like… Hour they'd been in each other's presence. But that sure as hell was a leap from being alright with casual touches to sharing a whole bed.

What if he clung to Derek like an octopus or something in his sleep without meaning to? What if that would be too much and made the other reconsider wanting to be around him? What if- "I can practically hear you overthinking," Derek said plainly, cutting Avery's thoughts off mid-spiral. "I wouldn't suggest that we share if I wasn't one hundred percent fine with it, Aves," he continued, tone soothing.

Clearing his throat, face heating in a mix of shame and embarrassment at being read so thoroughly, Avery gave a little nod. "Alright- Yeah, sorry, brain sure likes being a bastard sometimes. Hey, you can't complain about going through with this if you wake in the middle of the night with me like sprawled over you like a starfish-" Derek snorted at that visual, and he patted a hand down on Avery's shoulder lightly before drawing it back and setting it back on the wheel.

"I wouldn't have any complaints," he said sincerely. "You know I'm just as touch-starved as you are, dork. I'm gonna be absorbing anything you toss at me. Plus, you're like, warm as fuck. I'm next to always cold. I'm gonna sap your heat like a vampire or some shit! I want you close." Doubts thoroughly banished for the time being, Avery snorted a laugh and patted his hands on his knees absently.

He had noticed how Derek seemed to run cooler. "Well, that's fine with me. I run warm, you run cool, and together we shall have the temperature of a perfectly functional human being," he joked lightheartedly. Grinning wider when his quip got him a soft huff of laughter from Derek again. God, he could get addicted to being able to make Derek laugh. If he wasn't already hooked.

After not too much longer, Avery took note of how Derek had turned the car onto more residential roads. Houses sitting closer together than any house should- Thankfully, it wasn't any of these houses' driveways that Derek pulled into. A bit further out, where houses were reasonably spaced, Derek flipped his turn signal on and pulled the car into the driveway of a modest one-story house. Nothing fancy, but… The vibes fit the other man, Avery thought fondly. "Well- Uh. Home sweet home," Derek muttered, looking over at Avery with a half-smile once he'd put the car in park.

Pulling the keys from the ignition and shoving them in the pocket of his hoodie, Derek unlocked the doors and prepared himself to get out of the car. Quickly, Avery also opened his door and trotted around to the driver's side. Offering his arm out to Derek to help steady him while he exited the car. Derek glanced up at him with brief surprise flashing across his face before his expression melted into a quiet appreciation as he reached up to grab ahold of Avery's solid arm. Hefting himself up with a slight wince at the twinges of pain in his limbs. Pain from sitting too long, pain from standing too long, it was… Frustrating sometimes, how whatever he did caused pain.

Still, it was nice that Avery didn't seem to be making a big deal of this. Just- Being there, steady and supportive. Derek could get used to that. Which was— Scary to think of, in a way. "Alright, I'm gonna get my cane from the back and then pop the trunk so you can get your bags out, then I'm hobbling to unlock the front door." Avery huffed a soft laugh and nodded briefly, stepping back but still letting Derek use his arm for support while shuffling to open the back door.

Only when Derek let go did Avery shimmy around to the back of the car. Watching as the other man got out his cane, unfolded it, and then leaned heavily on the support while taking slow steps back. Avery wished he could do anything to help, but also knew that… The best thing he could do was just be supportive and not overbearing. Offer help, but not push it. He knew Derek was stubborn sometimes, from the stories the other had told about pushing past his limits and regretting it the next day.

But, thankfully, it seemed that he was getting better at knowing when to slow down. Like now, for example. Derek was moving slowly, knowing he should be cautious to not further tax joints that were already irritated at him. He also didn't walk all the way around to the back of the car- Just pressing the button on the key fob that opened the trunk instead. Once he'd done that, Derek gave a slightly tight smile at Avery before turning to start making his careful way towards the front door of the house. Walking up the ramp that was recently installed.

Avery remembered convincing the other man to get that installed so he didn't have to struggle with the few steps on bad days- It hadn't been an easy thing to convince Derek of, and was the source of one of their very few arguments. Though after things had cooled off some, Derek made sure to apologize and admitted that he knew it would help. And how he voiced that it was just scary knowing that this was something he needed now. How his body had degraded so much more than it had before all of this. While it hadn't been top form before, yes, but issues got exacerbated so much from the trauma and stress of the events they both went through.

Shaking himself out of memory lane, Avery turned his focus towards the open trunk of the car so he could heft his suitcase out onto the driveway. Scooping his backpack up next and slinging it over one shoulder before closing the trunk afterward. Once he had that and got ahold of his suitcase, he turned and walked on over to where Derek was just getting to the front door. Propping his cane against the door while he rested one hand on the doorframe, and had the keys in his other hand. Unlocking it and stuffing the keys back in a pocket before grabbing his cane and opening up the door.

Glancing over his shoulder at hearing the sound of the rolly wheels of Avery's suitcase, he gave a tired little smile and waved one hand for the other to follow him as he stepped inside. "Just lock the door behind you, please, and take your shoes off at the inside mat," he requested. Avery nodded and stepped in past the threshold after Derek, glancing around with curious eyes. Making sure to close and lock the door like was asked of him, but then turning right back around and letting his gaze wander. There wasn't much of an entrance or anything; the door led right into what seemed like the living room.

A couch sat against the far wall, with a table in front of it and a smaller stand table beside it. Several books lay scattered across the table, along with what looked like some computer manuals mixed in. There weren't many pictures or decorations on the walls, but still, this space felt… Right. It was still comfortable, in a way, and suited Derek's vibes. Speaking of the man, Avery let his gaze wander to where Derek was leaning against his cane and staring right back. Expression drawn, but still fond. "This what you expected?" He asked with a little tilt of the head.

Avery gave a sheepish grin and shrugged one shoulder. "I wasn't sure what to expect, but this space… Suits you, I think." Seemingly satisfied with that answer, Derek nodded once before turning and limping towards a short hallway. Waving one hand to motion for Avery to follow once more. And without hesitation, Avery carefully toed off his shoes by the mat like he'd been asked to before padding after Derek like a lost duckling.

Once it clicked that Derek was leading him to his bedroom, Avery's brain briefly bluescreened before he got ahold of it and wrangled it back into submission. Still, though, he was about to see a room that, arguably, was the most personal to any one being. Derek was trusting him somewhere that he slept, that he spent most of his time in, that he likely had more personal effects in than he did in the living room. It had that warm glow settling back in his chest, and he couldn't fully smother the likely cheesy smile on his face.

"Well, here, I'm gonna… Get changed into some sweats or something. I don't want to be in clothes that I wore while in the airport," Derek muttered, glancing over to Avery. "You can set your bags in my room wherever, as long as you don't block the door or anything. If you want to change, too, the bathroom is the door across from this one." Avery nodded a little, padding into the bedroom after Derek. Gaze again just slowly wandering as he took in the room.

Sure thing, the bed against the far wall and tucked into the corner was pretty nice-sized. Several blankets arranged a bit messily, along with multiple pillows hap-hazardly strewn. Avery couldn't smother the fond smile at that sight. Then he glanced around to see the posters on the walls. Some bands, some various art from shows and games. And on the other wall, a desk where a pretty fancy computer set-up resided. It was kept mostly clean, but there was a notebook and a cup with several pens and pencils inside near it. A trashcan tucked in the corner, and a nightstand by the bed with a lamp on it. Glancing up, Avery also noticed the string lights around the circumference of the room, and something about that detail had a softness crossing his face and a warmth settling comfortably in his chest.

This place was Derek's, without a doubt. There were other trinkets, a door leading to what he could assume was a closet, and some shelves with books and other trinkets as well. Just… Proof that this was a well-lived-in space. "Suits you," Avery muttered without meaning to, glancing at Derek, and then blinked slowly when he saw that the other man was staring at him. Observing him while Avery had been observing the room. Avery's face heated up a bit, and he cleared his throat briefly.

"Uh- Anyways, yeah, sorry- Gonna set my suitcase down and then gonna get some different clothes out and will go change and let you change too." He tried to swat away the little wandering thoughts and some not very helpful imagination-conjured images at that as well. Once again, clearing his throat, Avery shuffled further into the room. Setting his backpack by the computer desk and then moving to set his suitcase by the closet. Crouching down to unzip it and rummage around for a different shirt and the pair of sweats he knew he'd packed- As soon as that was squared away and he had the clothes bundled up in his arms, Avery stood and glanced to Derek with a sheepish little grin. "Will be right back-"

Derek raised his eyebrows a little, impossibly endeared by how flustered Avery seemed to be. Watching as the shorter man took a few steps backward, almost tripped over his own feet, then promptly turned around and hurried out to the bathroom as directed. "Cute," Derek muttered under his breath, expression fond. Inhaling abruptly after that, though, he shook his head sharply and carefully moved to his closet. Opening the door and reaching in for different clothes. This would be a bit of an ordeal with how much he was hurting right now, but it was okay, he could manage-

Meanwhile, just across the hall, Avery was in the bathroom with the door closed, cursing himself out mentally just a bit. "I can be normal, I can be so normal about this- God, get yourself together, man. Don't make this weird, don't give him a reason to not wanna see you again-" Cutting himself off and taking a deep breath, Avery glanced up to look at himself in the mirror. Wincing a little as he took in the blotchy blush that colored his cheeks and had spread partially down his neck, too. Why did he have to blush so obviously despite not being pale at all? Scrubbing his hands over his face and taking a hair tie off from around his wrist, he fingercombed his hair back into a bun as best he could manage before running water and splashing his face to help a bit.

And it did, help that is. After doing that, he focused on getting out of the clothes he was currently in so he could change into fresher clothes. It was understandable, he thought, to not wanna be just vibing in the house while wearing clothes that had like… Outside germs on them. Especially airport and airplane germs. There were a lotta people packed in airplanes, kinda like sardines. Germ soup. Eugh, that wasn't a pleasant analogy. Once he'd gotten changed and had folded his other clothes up, Avery opened the door up before pausing momentarily when he saw the bedroom door wasn't closed.

Using the braincell for once, he called out to make sure that Derek was decent before just like… Barging in. "Everything good in there, dude? Don't wanna barge in if you're, like, just in boxers or something-" He heard a snort from inside the bedroom before Derek called back out to him.

"I'm good- Got pants on, at least. Unless you're gonna, like, combust spontaneously and perish at the sight of a bare chest, you're free to come on in." Avery scrunched his face and laughed a little bit at Derek's teasing jab and entered the bedroom. Glancing and seeing that Derek had gotten himself changed into a pair of soft-looking sweatpants and was now settled in bed. Several pillows were propped behind his back, and a couple others were wedged at his hips to cushion the problem joints for the time being. As he'd said, he was shirtless, but Avery wasn't about to stare.

His gaze did briefly linger on the sight of the twin scars under Derek's pecs, and he smiled briefly to himself. Glad that the other was so comfortable around him to be open like this. Remembering briefly the night that the other man had opened up about himself, and the struggles he'd gone through to be happy in his body. Avery would always admire the other man for being unapologetically himself.

Shuffling back over to where he'd set his suitcase for the time being, Avery crouched down as well and unzipped it once more. Propping the top up and shoving the shirt and pants he'd been wearing into a separate pocket from where his clean clothes were. Once that was done, he didn't bother zipping the suitcase back up and instead just flipped the top back down before standing once more. Rocking back on his heels a little and looking around once again, still kind of awestruck that he was, like, in Derek's room. In his space. Somewhere he'd seen through his computer's camera multitudes of times.

"Well, are you gonna just keep staring around as if you've never seen a bedroom before in your life, or are you gonna come and let yourself sit down on a nice, comfortable bed?" Derek asked, brows raised. Avery blinked and spluttered briefly before snorting a laugh.

"Sassy, are we?" He shot right back, sticking his tongue out playfully. In reality, he was a bit nervous. Avery wanted nothing more than to settle right next to the other man, close enough that their legs could tangle together, close enough to let Derek lean against him if he wanted to- "But alright, if you insist. Remember, you uh, kinda gave me permission to get close as could."

Derek said nothing, but just watched with a little smile as Avery clambered into the bed. A bit ungracefully, but still careful not to jostle him too much. Thoughtful and appreciated, but not fully necessary. Soon, though, Avery had grabbed a couple of the other pillows and wedged them against the headboard to lean back against too. Settling right next to Derek, but still just… A little space between them. Nerves were obvious on his face, and Derek heaved a sigh internally. His darling, overthinking, sweet Avery. "That as close as you're going to get?"

Avery blinked, briefly looking like a deer in headlights, before determination flashed across his face. Derek knew just how to lightly prod and provoke Avery in a way that overrode his worries. Soon, Avery had scooted and was settled right up against his side. One wonderfully sturdy arm wiggling behind Derek's back, urging him to lean a little to the side to rest against him. Oh, that was lovely. Avery really did run so warm, and it was honestly a wonderful relief against the sore muscles in his back. Breathing out a slow sigh, Derek let himself melt against Avery's side. Tilting and resting his cheek against the top of the other man's head.

"Much better," he murmured, quiet, content. Avery was a bit tense for just a few moments, brain buffering as he took in this newfound closeness. But after a few more moments, he relaxed as well. Curling his arm with a little more confidence around Derek's narrow waist. Hand resting and splaying hesitantly over the sharp jut of the other man's hipbone. Which seemed to be the right course of action, considering the second contented sigh that Derek let out. "S'warm," he muttered almost dazedly.

Well, Avery felt like he was about to combust. This was so much more than he'd expected to get, and it was challenging to wave away the thoughts swarming the edges of his mind. He'd really not thought how much harder it'd be to shoo away the no longer platonic emotions towards his friend- For right now, in this moment, he'd just… Let himself enjoy this closeness, though. Letting his thoughts slow down as he instead focused on the way that it seemed Derek's cooler temperature had started to warm up the longer he was leaned against him.

Focusing on the comfortable weight as Derek settled more and more against him. Cheek pillowed on top of Avery's curly hair. "Hey, Der, think if we're napping, we should prolly lay down, right?" Avery spoke up, voice quiet in fear of breaking this moment. Derek grumbled a low noise in the back of his throat before reluctantly leaning a little way away.

"… Probably, yeah. My body'd be even angrier at me if I tried sleeping leaned over like that. C'mon, Aves, move your butt. Gotta settle down, then I expect you to follow through with being an octopus, like you'd warned. Giving permission right here and now for you to get close as you want. Because I want you close, too." Avery swallowed thickly but nodded his agreement before slowly unwinding his arm from Derek's waist to let the other man shimmy slowly to lay down. Rolling over onto his side and staring up at him before lifting one hand and motioning for Avery to follow.

Derek felt a little guilty at seeing how Avery's eyes were wide as saucers, and that he was so obviously overthinking again. But right now, tiredness from being in pain was slowing his thinking, and he just wanted the warmth of the other man close once more. So he just made another little grabby motion with one hand, and that seemed to kickstart Avery back into gear. Derek watched as he also shuffled down and adjusted a few pillows to set his head on before scooting closer. Eyebrows furrowed in the cutest expression as he seemed to be considering how to do this.

To save the other man further thought and inner conflict, Derek boldly just slung a leg over Avery's hip and partially curled closer. Letting his forehead tap against the other man's chest as he also draped an arm over his side. He caught the hitch in Avery's breathing and the way he froze for a few seconds. Briefly, Derek was concerned he was being too forward. This wasn't his expertise, and he didn't want to do too much too quickly-

Avery, meanwhile, was fully mentally bluescreened for a few moments. Heart thumping wildly in his chest from how Derek had just- Got a leg over his hip and tucked himself close against him. All Avery could think was how perfectly the other man fit against him, how, despite the height difference, Derek still tucked his head under his chin and seemed comfortable as could be. Even his negative thinking couldn't pipe up in times like this. Making him wonder if- Just maybe- There were equally non-platonic motivations to how Derek was acting.

But right now, right in this moment, he wasn't going to speak up about that. Right now, he was going to settle comfortably with Derek tucked so close that he wondered if the other man could hear how fast his heart was beating. Considering the fact that Derek's face was pretty much resting against his chest, that was more of a possibility than it wasn't.

And Derek did indeed hear the steady, albeit faster-paced than usual, beat of Avery's heart. It was indescribably soothing, if he was honest with himself. Was a reminder that this was real, they were alive, Avery was here, and right next to him. Breathing, living, thriving, alive. They'd made it through, they'd survived impossible things, and even with the occasional threat of knowledge that he shouldn't have cascading over his mind, Derek was— He was happy. Yeah, his body hurt, and yeah, sure, he had a slight headache threatening to bloom behind his eyes, but he still was genuinely happy right now.

There wasn't much more that he could think of to make this moment better.

Well- Yes, there was something, but under the mask of bravery and bravado, he was truly a coward when it came to complex emotions. Avery wasn't the only one with fears of ruining things. Derek didn't know what he'd do without Avery, honestly. His light. The anchor that held him in place and kept him from getting swept away in the flood that was the King in Yellow. Just thinking that name had an unpleasant shudder going down his spine, and Derek subconsciously tucked closer to Avery.

Avery, who, honest to god, squeaked slightly, but then took a breath and relaxed again, settling his arm back over Derek's side. His lovely, warm, solid hand settling on his back, resting between his shoulderblades. This was good. It soothed the brief prickles of fear that had the finer hairs on his neck prickling a little. Breathing a slow sigh and mentally damning the possible consequences, Derek shimmied himself impossibly closer. Tucking his face into the hollow of Avery's throat and tightening his own arm around the more solid man. Soaking up his warmth like some sunbathing creature.

Pressed close like this, he could feel the staccato beats of Avery's heart against his own breastbone, and it almost felt like his heart picked up the pace to try to match the tempo. Derek could feel the very faint tremor in Avery's hand where it rested on his back, and he decided that just wouldn't do. "S'okay, Aves," he murmured quietly against the other man's neck. Pausing a moment, though, another thought occurred and had the ice water of doubt flashing through his veins, chilling him instantly. Unless Avery was genuinely uncomfortable and just going along like this because he was afraid to say no-

Almost as if he could read the thoughts that started racing through Derek's head, just as the other man had done earlier in the car, Avery spoke to break the spiral that had started. "Okay- Okay, good. Sorry, s'just a lot, but- Good. This is good. I like this, I like-" Yet again, he paused and cut off what his sentence might've been.

Unbidden, knowledge he didn't want trickled in a thin stream into Derek's mind. The completion of what Avery was going to say. Derek didn't want that fact from the parasitic knowledge in his mind, though. He wanted that line of thought from Avery himself. Even though his pulse was erratic, nerves threatening to start up anxiety-induced shivers, Derek slowly pulled back a little. Wanting—no—needing to look Avery in the eyes for this.

"You know that I love you, right?" Derek muttered, voice quiet and shivering. Expression cracked open and raw, pupils blown wide as he stared at Avery. Sweet, wonderful, perfect Avery. Kind, bright, smart in a way he would always deny. Avery, who stared right back at Derek with eyes wide and mouth parted just slightly, a moment of rare speechlessness. Staring at Derek like the other man had spoken another language, brain chugging along as it processed what was just said.

Breath escaping in a whoosh, his expression pinched, and oh no- Oh, no, tears were welling up in those pretty brown eyes Derek adored so much. "You- That- You're being crueler than I thought you could be if you're pulling some kind of bad joke on me," he said in a small and unsteady little voice. And that just wouldn't do at all. Damn his joints, damn the pain that would probably flare up worse later for this, Derek had business making sure his Avery believed him.

Wriggling a little so he could push himself up onto his elbows, staring down at Avery, hair framing his face, Derek's gaze was piercing. That gold sheen much more obvious in this low lighting. "I would never joke around about something so serious, Avery. I mean it, I swear it. I love you. I've loved you, I think, since the first dose of infinite knowledge crammed into my brain. I know you, I knew you, I know you, and I love you." Hauling himself up to a partial sitting position, Derek reached to hold Avery's face in his palms like the precious treasure that he was. Swiping thumbs so gently over soft cheeks, rubbing away the stray tears that had started leaking from wide and disbelieving eyes.

"You saved me, how could I not love you? And now I know you, I know your quirks, I know your insecurities and your fears and your hopes and dreams, and I still love you, I am in love with you, Avery. I have been, and I've just been a damn coward about saying something until this very moment because I wanted to wait until I could see you, could have you in my space and with me and in front of me and under me-" Taking a shuddering breath, Derek realized tears had welled up in his own eyes too, spilling down his cheeks in salty trails.

Avery was still laying down, staring up at Derek like the sun itself was hung behind his head like some kind of halo, his eyes wide and shiny with tears, but also the blessed glint of hope shimmering in them too. It was hard not to believe words spoken so passionately to him. And if he was honest with himself, too, the sentiment was fully shared. "I think… I've loved you since the start, too," he spoke up haltingly, voice thick with emotion. "I loved you, and I thought I lost you that night, and my heart broke for the chance I thought I'd lost to, um, have someone so wonderful in my life. That I'd lost the chance to get to know you- To understand you like you understand me."

Pushing himself up to sit up as well, Avery reached his hands up to lay over Derek's, where they still rested on his cheeks. "I- Am like, terrified right now, I hope y'know that," he muttered, brows furrowing. Taking a deep inhale, he leaned and pressed his forehead to Derek's firmly, closing his eyes. "Still worry occasionally, when life is wonderful, when things are, um, going well- That I'll wake up at home in my bed and this will have been just a dream. And right now, I'm more than a little sleep deprived, and even more scared of that being a possibility."

Derek could relate to that fear- Every once in a while, when waking up, he would be afraid that it'd be to him looking up at his computer screen again, splitting pain in his head, and thoughts not his own. This was real, though, and he wanted to prove that- "This isn't a dream, Avery. I promise you." Sliding his hands to cup Avery's jaw in his palms, Derek pressed his forehead a little more against the other man's and breathed a slow, calming exhale from his nose before leaning back just a little bit. "Can I- Uh-"

Clearing his throat, face heating, Derek furrowed his eyebrows and powered through. "I want to kiss you. I want to, but how I'm sitting right now is- Not comfortable. Can I-? Adjust?" Avery blinked, a little starstruck, some of the worry melting away for the moment at the reveal that Derek wanted to kiss him. It took a couple more moments for the rest to register, and Avery nodded quickly, leaning back and awkwardly patting his hands together, fidgeting a little.

"Yeah, no, uh- Please. I'd- I want that, uh, too? A whole lot, really- But um, yeah, please get comfortable however you need to?" Derek smiled briefly at the endearing eagerness from Avery. Knowing he wasn't really any better, though, with anticipation and eagerness warming and running through his veins. Before he could second-guess his decision, Derek pushed himself up onto his knees, wincing just a bit at the twinges in his hips and knees and back as he did this.

With a surprisingly smooth motion, though, he slung a leg over to rest on the bed on the other side of Avery's legs. Effectively setting himself down on the other man's thighs. And oh, the beautiful blush darkening Avery's already flushed skin further was so rewarding to see. "Is this- uh? Okay?" Derek asked quietly, leaning and resting his hands on Avery's shoulders and curling down a little so his face was near the other's. Close enough to see the freckles dotting over his face, and the enamored shine in his eyes.

Avery swallowed thickly and nodded quickly, staring up at Derek in pure wonder and admiration. He'd pretty much gotten the go-ahead with this- Confession moment? Yeah, this was a confession- To freely admire Derek and everything he adored about the other man. "This is perfect," he muttered, star-struck. Hands hovering hesitantly over Derek's hips before just lightly setting down. Not holding in place, but resting there, thumbs pressing lightly on the jut of sharp hipbones, drawing a little surprised inhale from Derek.

Running his tongue over dry lips, Derek leaned a little closer, sharp gaze flicking down to Avery's mouth before moving back up to meet the other's gaze. "May I?" He practically whispered, the moment feeling delicate somehow. Feeling somehow brand new but also old and comfortable as a well-worn sweater. Like this was unexplored territory, but at the same time, something that was inevitable for them. Avery's short little nod and breathy 'mhmm' snapped Derek out of his introspection, though, and prompted him to break from his moment of stillness.

With a shivery little inhale, he closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to Avery's lips softly. Just a chaste press, light and tender. Avery was the one who pressed back a little more firmly, fingers flexing a bit on Derek's hips before lifting one hand up to cup the other's sharp jaw- Fingers curling against his neck and urging him to tilt his head a little so their lips could slot together a bit better-

And gods- Derek felt the smooth ball of the piercing below Avery's bottom lip against his chin, and something about that sensation had any hesitancy lingering breaking finally. So, moving his own hands, Derek carded his fingers through Avery's thick hair, finding the hairtie and making a little displeased sound against the other man's lips before working it out so he could properly bury his fingers in wavy locks.

It was almost natural, finding the rhythm between themselves- The push and pull, the press and movement of lips against each other, the small breaths inbetween, and the way Derek just leaned more and more into Avery. Sinking his weight down on Avery's thighs with no worry about causing the other man any discomfort. He was a sturdy man, solid, firm, real-

Breaking away from the kiss to rein himself in, Derek was breathing heavily, feeling a little dizzy. But in a good way right now. And seeing Avery's expression, cheeks still flushed, lips still parted, and a little spit-slick? Oh, Derek wanted to remember this moment for eternity, wishing he could take a picture and tuck it away to treasure on the days his memories faltered-

"Wow…" That breathy little response was so undoubtedly Avery that Derek couldn't help the laugh that bubbled up out of him. Face scrunching with a smile, eyes squinting, and warmth settled so firmly in his chest that he imagined it'd be shining bright and steady as a star if it could be visible. He couldn't resist ducking down to press another quick kiss to Avery's lips.

"You, Avery, are so precious. So wonderful. My light. My Avery-" That little possessiveness, that claim, might've been a lot to someone else. But to Avery, he couldn't help but melt into the emotions that it roused in him. With caution to not jostle already sore and protesting joints, Avery wrapped Derek up in a hug. Slowly wiggling them both down to where they were laying flat once more- But this time, with Derek settled on top of him.

And honestly, this was perfect. This was the closeness that Avery craved. He didn't want anything more right now other than having Derek settled on him, staring down at him with darkened cheeks and mirth shining in his eyes. "Believe me now, Aves?" He asked softly, just a little teasing lilt to his voice as he asked, eyebrows raised too. Avery responded completely maturely-

That is to say, he stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry. Which prompted another bright laugh from Derek, which Avery counted as a win. Expression going a little more serious, though, he hummed a little noise and let his gaze trace over the other man's features. Openly admiring. "I believe you," he whispered softly. "I'll probably want a reminder tomorrow, though. And the day after. And as many more days as you'll indulge me. I think you already know that, though, don't you?"

Derek's expression softened at that, and he gave a little nod. "I know. Not because of the unwanted knowledge in my head, but because I know you. And I can do that. I want to do that. I want you for as long as you'll have me, as well." Settling a little, resting his cheek on Avery's chest, he breathed a slow sigh.

"Right now, though, I think… We need that nap." Avery snorted a soft laugh at that and just raised one hand to brush hair away from Derek's face. Making a soft noise of agreement as he did so. They could talk more after a nap.

After all, they had all the time in the world now. They'd always have one another. And that was beautiful and certain. And no powers, eldritch or otherwise, could separate them again.