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For the first couple of months after the initial Incident™, neither Avery nor Derek could even look at the Minecraft launcher without feeling almost physically sick to the stomach. Memories and flashbacks for both of them were absolutely brutal. It took a lot to admit, but Derek spoke to Avery about how he had frequent nightmares. Ones that felt so real that he feared when he woke that it'd still be happening-
Nightmares of the time he spent stuck in front of his computer, staring at the screen because looking away was agony. How it felt like his head was ready to crack open and split fully apart- How he endured that pain a select few times to get up, and nearly passed out for his efforts. Hearing these details, how much Derek suffered, it broke Avery's heart. He just wanted to be able to give the other man a hug-
In return, Avery opened up with some vulnerable information of his own. How sometimes his nightmares were of him stuck in that church courtyard, of the loop. Even though it was in the game, those nightmares felt like reality, as if he himself was there and not just a little Minecraft avatar. The worst part was the many, many, many near-drownings in the pond. That, when he jolted awake, it felt like his throat was closing up and his lungs were heavy with water and not air. How, in those hours, the experience of that loop felt real.
Admittedly, both of them knew that this was something that'd take a long time to work past. Maybe even figure out some therapy- But wasn't like one could go to a therapist and tell them "hey, yeah, I played a minecraft world that had an eldrich god-king trapped in it and it wanted me as it's living vessel, and it also almost killled my friend by shoving all the knowledge of the world into his head like a battering ram" and not get locked up in some psych ward.
So- They had one another. Even if it wasn't easy, they talked about it. It made the weight lighter to be carried by two. Derek suggested, after about a month of them actually talking, that maybe if one of them woke from a particularly bad nightmare, to call the other. Just… Sit in that call, so neither of them were truly alone. Avery was a bit embarrassed by that suggestion, but could admit it was definitely appealing.
When he was the first to have a nightmare that left him gasping awake and clawing at his throat like he couldn't breathe, Avery found Derek's contact and was calling him before his mind even registered the action. "Mm.. Aves? Y'kay?" The sleepy sound of Derek's voice helped ground Avery somewhat, and he finally was able to take a deep breath that didn't feel like it was scraping through his throat and weighing in his chest like an iron barbell.
"Sorry- Sorry- Just… Nightmare. Felt like I was drowning again, and I woke up and I ju-ust- Couldn't breathe right, felt like I was still breathing in the water even though I don't think I've ever actually felt this in real life, it still felt so real Derek, it was so aw-awful- And I'm so sca-ared I'll? Go back to sleep and then wake and be right back in that loop like it never even stopped like you never actually broke me out of it, and I'm still in that cou-ourtyard repeating the same tasks over and over and drowning even though it was just in a stupid fucking game-" Breath hitching, halting his panicked rambling, Avery scrubbed his hands over his face. Finding his cheeks were damp from tears he didn't even realize were leaking steadily from his eyes.
A beat of silence before a slow breath came from Derek's side of the line, and he sounded a little bit more alert this time when he spoke. "You're alright, Aves. Safe, now, He can't reach you. You're real, I can hear you, you can hear me. We're free. We're safe." A quiet shuffling noise, like Derek was readjusting his phone, before the camera blipped on for him. Showing his tired face in the very dim light of his room. And it should be embarrassing how quickly the sight of the other man was able to distract Avery from the spiral that his mind had been going down, but he was too tired to be embarrassed.
Which was also probably why Avery, with only minimal hesitation, also turned the camera on. Despite the fact that he knew that he probably looked like a wreck. Eyes puffy from crying, tear trails still shining on his cheeks, and face flushed and blotchy. And yet, and yet, and yet- Derek still smiled so soft and kind at him, and Avery truly hoped that his expression didn't betray the way his mind fully bluescreened for a few moments. "Hi," he muttered, voice still thick with tears clogging his throat a bit.
"Hi," Derek murmured right back, voice tired but kind and comforting in a way that Avery should probably find terrifying. But he was just too exhausted to inspect the emotions that were welling up in his chest and melting the ice-cold feeling of terror that had lingered after this latest nightmare.
Scrubbing his hands across his face, Avery slowly inhaled and held that breath for a couple of seconds before exhaling heavily and resting his head back down on a pillow. Moving his phone to where it could be propped up in his vision, wanting to keep sight of Derek still. "… Thank you for picking up," he murmured quietly, tucking a hand under his cheek and watching while Derek also seemed to be getting comfortable as well. Though at that quiet thanks, Avery found himself pinned by one of Derek's stares that felt like they could see right through him.
After a couple of moments of silent observation, Derek hummed a low note. "Always will," he answered, as if that wasn't the most devastatingly sincere thing that anyone had ever said to Avery. Wanting to cry all over again, but this time for mostly positive reasons, Avery turned to hide his face briefly against the pillow. Needing a moment to compose himself before he glanced back towards the dim screen, where he could see that Derek was seemingly completely unaware of the effect his words just had.
"You can't just say things like that," Avery muttered quietly. Prompting Derek to raise his eyebrows a little and to blink slowly a few times.
He seemed to consider his words for a few moments as well before speaking again, wholly honestly once again. "I will, though, because you know I mean whatever I say to you." Avery let out a quiet wounded noise, tears welling up in his eyes again, expression scrunching a bit before turning his face to briefly hide against his pillow. This had Derek's expression flashing to a bit of concern, which in turn made Avery quickly speak to reassure-
"I know, that's what makes it hit so much harder- Thank you." Exhaling heavily and turning his head to rest a cheek on his hand again, Avery stared at Derek for a few moments. It was obvious that the other man was thinking, so Derek stayed quiet and waited for Avery to work up to whatever he wanted to say. That's one thing that he'd picked up about his friend. Avery may ramble a lot and sometimes speak without thinking, but other times? He hesitated saying things that were more important, or things that he worried wouldn't be received well.
So, again, Derek didn't mind waiting. He'd always wait as best he could. That just meant he was rewarded with Avery being more open, less hesitant to speak about things, less afraid of taking up space. "I'd like to play Minecraft again."
Blinking, that sentence catching him wildly off guard, Derek raised his eyebrows in genuine surprise. Well, that wasn't exactly what he thought Avery would say. In the lack of immediate response, Avery was quick to panic a little, launching into an explanation. "It's just- I miss playing. I don't want this thing that I really enjoyed doing to be, like, forever tainted by that yellow bastard, y'know? And like, I don't expect you to want to play it with me because I know you had it so much worse and-"
"Avery." Derek's calm interruption halted the flow of rambling, and Avery took a shuddery inhale, carefully glancing towards his phone to look at Derek. "I want to play again, too. I miss it as well. I think… It'd be good to do. Maybe… Make a realm together?" Offering a soft smile, Derek met Avery's gaze as best he could through the camera. "I think it'd be easier to overcome the lingering fear, as long as we face it together."