Chapter Text
Harken now, faithful listeners. Take a flagon and take heed for here is a tale of foolish pride and the rifts it can cut in the solid stone of brotherly love.
Here is Thor, shining sun, greatest of warriors, beloved first-born of Odin, and future ruler of the Realm Eternal.
Here is Loki, silver moon, slyest of sorcerers, beloved younger son of Odin, walker in his brother's shadow.
Here is Sif, beauty of the battlefield, great of strength and skill.
Here as well are the Warriors Three: Fandral the Dashing, master of the blade; Hogun the Grim, master of the mace; and Volstagg the Valiant, master of the table.
See them now about the table, seated in an alehouse much like this one. Thor, and Sif, and Warriors Three… Friends through the ages partaking of food and drink. Loki is not with them for he has been delayed, but he will be there soon enough, walking silent as a cat, passing through shadow without a sound, approaching the alehouse as he peruses a book of notes, hearing by chance as he nears a window…
"How is Loki like a woman?" Fandral said.
"Caution, Fandral, or you will be far less pretty come the morrow," Sif warned, toying with a dagger.
"Handsome, you mean," Fandral corrected her. "Pretty is more becoming of someone with slighter features. Loki, perhaps, although that is not the answer to my question."
"The way he minces about would be my guess," Volstagg said around a mouthful of stag, which he washed down with a mouthful of ale.
"Now, now," Thor said, nudging Volstagg's arm. "You speak of my brother, Volstagg. If he is light enough to take quick, precise steps instead of tossing his weight forward and hurrying after it, it hardly makes him womanly."
"Close enough," Volstagg replied. "Only women are so slight. Few are they with enough meat on them to take proper hold. My wife is one of the exceptions."
"You jest, but still I will hear no more of it," Thor said, smiling. "Although, I must ask, Fandral: Is it the robes he often wears?"
"Thor!" Sif said, feigning shock while all but Hogun laughed.
"I love my brother, Sif," Thor said, "but you must admit that, when he walks, they add a certain sway…"
"Enough, enough," Fandral said, waving him off. "Hogun, give us your best guess."
"I pass," Hogun said. "It is a senseless question to ask of one who has been known to change his shape."
"And with that, you are the closest," Fandral grinned. "For Loki's glamour brings men to their knees. Oh, come now, Hogun. You almost smiled at that."
Indeed, the rest of the table laughed, even Sif, who hid her mirth behind her fist.
"I think you overstretched yourself, Fandral," she said, "but given everyone else's contributions, it does paint quite a picture."
"You are twice the warrior, Sif," Fandral said. "You must at least admit to that."
"I'm twice the warrior of any of you," Sif replied, "so I won't deny it. You speak as though he doesn't contribute to our adventures."
"Ah, never that," Fandral said, only somewhat abashed, "but tell me how many sorcerers you have seen in battle."
"How many women have you seen in battle?" Sif countered.
"Sorcerers or sorceresses, then," Fandral amended. "You are a warrior, no matter your shape. That is different."
"Indeed," Volstagg added, "I don't believe there are so few women on the battlefield because they cannot fight, rather, most of those blessed with seidr are women and they stay behind to scry, heal, perform blessings, and do all the things that require such talents and are not done well in a noisy environment."
"An interesting observation," Sif said, stifling further comments with a swallow of ale.
"In truth, Loki's magic differs," Volstagg allowed, "and is better suited to battle. His knives are keen and his wits no less so. But these are shadow arts and he is always at a distance. Never does he hold the line with us."
"And you have never chanced to fight at a distance?" Hogun said shrewdly. "Even a great distance while facing away from the enemy?"
"I admit that I have occasionally made use of the strategic retreat to further my plans," Volstagg admitted, "but it was never done in shadow."
Thor laughed. "You see trouble where none lies, Volstagg. Of course Loki fights differently. I fight on the front lines. I am proud of my abilities, proud as well to fight alongside such glorious heroes as yourselves, but where would we be if all fought as we do? When the front line is broken, what comes next? If we all face forward, who will watch our backs?
"No, my friends, Loki's tricks are a skill as valuable as any other warrior's. If he is not a rock in the wall that defies our foes, what of it? He is much quicker and able to move from stone to stone lending support and filling in those gaps through which the enemy might pass. If he cannot fight toe to toe with a sword, does it matter? He will sink his dagger in the back of any enemy that would do the same to us."
"Such acts are dishonourable," Volstagg grumbled.
"And yet we never run out of enemies who are willing to attempt it," Thor said. "Why should they have the advantage? He has sharp eyes and a sharper mind; he can see the tides of battle and put pressure on its weakest points. He is my brother and I love him, Volstagg. I am proud to fight with you at my side, but there is no other I would trust with my back."
"I never said I did not love him, Thor," Volstagg said, but he was much subdued. "He's a good boy and makes me laugh. It is his methods with which I take issue."
"I have no love of them either," Fandral agreed, "although I do not doubt his loyalty and freely admit that he has been more a boon than a hindrance."
Sif snorted. "More a boon? When has Loki never pulled his weight? In melee combat, he seems weaker, but tell me, Fandral, how does your sword fare against an arrow?"
"I am with Sif," Hogun said.
"I would go further and say that Loki's skills are the most useful," Thor added. "In the heat of battle, weaknesses are revealed – it is the same for anyone – but given time to prepare, Loki's tricks would best you all in any chosen skill."
"That sounds suspiciously like cheating, Thor," Fandral said.
"Of course," Thor told him, "but if you know of it and expect it, it is just another aspect of the sport. If you know of it, expect it, and do not plan for it, well… It is on your head."
"The Dwarves make sport of such things," Hogun said. "They have competitions with the expectation that everyone will cheat. The winner is he who succeeds in out-cheating his opponents. To win without cheating is dishonourable."
"Hogun speaks the truth," Thor said. "Though I do not propose so much. I wager only that, with foreknowledge of the contest, Loki could devise a way to best you all. No matter your strength, there is a way to counterfeit it."
"A wager, you say? I might drink to that," Volstagg said.
"You would drink to anything," Fandral said. "Although I am intrigued. What do you propose?"
"A friendly wager. A contest for each of you, terms outlined. I can guarantee within three days time Loki will have found a way to beat you."
"This is vulgar," Sif said. "Loki is not even here to speak for himself, yet you would place a wager on him?"
"He will be game," Thor said. "I know my brother and he likes to strut. Even if he did not, he would not fail to do as I ask."
"What would I not fail to do, brother?" Loki said, approaching the table.
He was well groomed as always, his book stowed safely away in his satchel, and he straightened his coat before sitting down, smoothing it over the leg of his trousers. He signaled to the serving woman to bring him ale like the others.
"A wager," Thor said, clamping a hand down on Loki's shoulder. "These fools do not believe your skills adequate. I have proposed a series of contests against Sif and the Warriors Three. Each will name a contest relevant to their skills and I have wagered that, with foreknowledge, your wit will allow you to find a way to beat them. What say you, brother?"
"I say you think too highly of me," Loki replied. "Our strengths marry well to hide our weaknesses. Why should I wish to usurp them?"
"You would not," Thor said. "Were the contest sudden, each strength would prevail on its own merit. My point is that, with time and foreknowledge, your wit and trickery can match and surpass the greatest strengths of any opponent."
"No matter who wins, one or the other will be humiliated, Thor," Loki said. "Either I am proven inadequate and faith is lost in me or the worth of my opponent's skill is diminished. Why should I strain our friendship so?"
"Because you will not lose and a victory won by trickery is no slight against true skill," Thor told him. "If it is a concern, we will avoid military contests, placing no doubt upon one's worth on the battlefield."
"And if I do not wish to?" Loki said quietly.
"Then you wound my pride and my faith in you, brother. My claims have already been made."
Sif rolled her eyes.
"You will lose nothing if Loki does not wish to participate," she said. "Did I not say it was vulgar to make wagers on behalf of those who are not present?"
"Indeed, Sif, indeed," Volstagg said. "Thor loses nothing but our respect and we will always wonder if his brother isn't a bit of a coward."
"Come now, don't be so dire," Fandral said. "Or, at the least, don't be so blunt."
"Oh, stop posturing," Sif said, thumping her flagon on the table. "You are not children!"
"Indeed," Hogun added. "Neither Thor nor Loki stands to lose if Loki refuses. But I must admit the wager intrigues me."
"And I," Volstagg said.
"And I," Fandral agreed. "Come, Sif. Are you not the least bit curious about what Loki might do?"
"Loki is as Loki does and this will be true with or without a wager," Sif said. "Although I will certainly take part if he is willing."
"You see? It is a friendly contest," Thor said, clapping his hand on Loki's shoulder. "What say you now, brother?"
Loki clasped his flagon and stared into his drink. Regardless of Thor's conviction, he was certain the contest would not remain friendly for long. But what could he do? If he refused now, he would forever be the coward – even Sif would think it although she claimed otherwise – and Thor's disappointment would haunt him long after the matter seemed to be forgotten. If he accepted and lost, he would be ridiculed. If he accepted and won, he would be resented. It was not that they did not like him, Loki knew, but warriors of Asgard had little love for tricks and to be bested by them would be a blow they could not forgive.
Of course, if he accepted and won, Thor would be vindicated. Thor would stand by him. It was the only scenario that Loki could see that did not result in a complete loss for him.
"What are the terms of this wager?" he asked, sipping his ale.
"I knew you would agree!" Thor said, visibly excited.
"I have not yet agreed," Loki told him peevishly. "I wish to know the terms."
"Each will declare a contest and you will have three days to prepare," Thor said. "The contests must not be military in nature. You may use any form of trickery you like…"
"But no glamour," Fandral said promptly, "and no battlefield magic. If we cannot use our weapons, nor should you."
"No spells cast during the contest and no spells cast upon yourself," Thor amended. "Enchanted items will be permitted if you create them beforehand."
Fandral considered this and then nodded his agreement.
"And what do I stand to gain?" Loki prompted.
Thor shrugged. "The winner will gain honour and prestige. We had not thought further…"
"I propose that the losing party pay a night's carousing for us all in this inn," Volstagg said. "We can only lose once, but you stand to lose four times and I will be present at every occasion. You must truly have faith in your boasts."
"And do not think to pass that punishment off on Loki, should he fail," Sif said.
Thor laughed.
"I would do no such thing, nor will I have to," he said. "I am confident in my brother's abilities. I accept your terms."
"But does Loki accept them?"
Loki looked around the table. Sif seemed concerned and Hogun uncommitted, but Volstagg, Fandral, and Thor all looked eagre.
"Of course," Loki said, smiling brightly. "With whom shall we start?"