Chapter Text
Safi had finally, finally convinced Max to go to an Abraxas party with her.
She’d been begging since they met, around two months ago. Safi had walked into her mother’s office to get the keys to her car. And there Max was, sitting in a chair in front of Yasmin’s desk, looking nervous as hell. Safi felt for the girl. Her mother had that effect on people. She’d had that effect on Safi herself for years, up until she turned twenty-one. Safi announced that she was taking the car keys and the woman sitting across from Yasmin. Then she’d taken Max on a tour of Caledon, showing her the good spots around town.
Max had immediately shied away from the idea when Safi had proposed taking her to an Abraxas party. Whenever she’d asked, Max would just shoot her a nervous smile and say, “maybe next time”. And every single time, Safi would tease Max and let it go.
“Come on, Safi. Wouldn’t it be a little weird to see a teacher mingling with her students at a house party?” Max asked, raising an eyebrow. She glanced down at the coffee table, spreading her most recent photographs across it. She leaned down to examine them.
Safi groaned, laying haphazardly on the couch across from Max. “It’s only weird if you make it weird,” she pointed out. When Max spread her photos out across the table, Safi sat up excitedly. A small “ooh” slipped from her mouth as she looked over the photos.
Safi loved looking at the photos Max took. It was so appealing to her to understand even a little bit of how Max saw the world. Ironic, given how averse she was to show Max even a lick of her poetry. Writing felt too personal. Photographs were easier, providing only the view of another person’s mind, not the inner workings of it.
She and the photographer had clicked instantly when they met, in a way that Safi hadn’t felt since her best friend Maya died. It excited her. She wanted to learn everything about Max, and her photos were a good place to start.
“I really don’t understand how this can be so exciting for you.” A fond smile tugged at the corner of Max’s lips as she watched Safi lean over her photos. “These shots aren’t anything you’d find in an art gallery.”
Safi placed a hand over her heart, leaning back in mock offense. “Max Caulfield. Do I look like some sort of art snob to you? It’s exciting because it’s your way of expression.” She paused for a moment, then flashed a smug smile. “And because I picked out the location, of course.”
Max crossed her arms and shot Safi a look from across the table. “You like seeing how I express myself, and yet you still won’t show me any of your poetry.”
“That’s different,” Safi instantly defended. “Words are more explicit than photographs. You’d know way too much about me just from reading one.” She waved her hand dismissively and shifted, getting comfier on Max’s couch.
“Don’t I already know a lot about you?” Max—unfortunately validly—asked.
Safi shrugged. “Sure. But you haven’t quite crossed into ‘if we ever stop being friends I have to kill you’ territory yet. That’s where we’d be at if I let you read my poetry.”
Max nodded slowly. “O-kay… Noted,” she muttered, dragging out the sounds of the vowels. Then she leaned back against the couch. “Although I’m not planning on ditching you anytime soon.”
An amused expression slipped onto Safi’s features, a snort involuntarily leaving her mouth. “You better not. I think I’d probably hunt you down regardless of reading my poetry or not. You’re stuck with me, Caulfield.”
She eyed Max for a moment, her focus flickering over the other woman’s features. The freckles adorning Max’s face, the way her lips pressed together nervously, those striking blue eyes… that were staring right back at her. Safi cleared her throat, realizing she’d been staring. “So… about that party-”
Max opened her mouth immediately at the mention of the party, like she was going to shoot Safi down once again. Safi expected it at this point. Part of the reason she’d brought up the party was to take the focus off of her blatantly staring at Max. But instead, the photographer closed her mouth and seemed to mull it over for a few moments. Safi watched as her brows furrowed in an adorable way.
“You know what?” Max said, sitting up straight as she finally decided her verdict. “I’ll give it a try.”
In that moment, Safi had celebrated like she’d just won the lottery. She’d finally gotten Max, her introverted, awkward, Max Caulfield to agree to go to a party with her. But as Max walked down the stairs after changing, dressed in a tight long-sleeved shirt and jeans that had Safi’s head reeling, she was less sure about it. And once they got to the Abraxas house, Moses leaving the two of them with a “have fun, be safe” lecture, she began to think even more that it wasn’t such a good idea.
Safi wasn’t exactly the most responsible drunk, and Max was a lightweight if Safi had ever seen one. While that equation certainly spelled a recipe for disaster, she knew that there was no turning back now. She silenced the nagging voice in the back of her head and reached for Max’s hand, tugging the woman into the venue along with her. With Moses as their getaway—he promised to pick them up when shit inevitably got out of hand—surely nothing could go wrong.
She felt some slight resistance from Max, stopping in her tracks to glance back at the photographer. Max was frowning, looking nervously at the many partygoers that mingled outside of the house. They could hear the pounding music from where they stood.
Safi sighed and squeezed Max’s hand. “Hey. We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’m serious. We can just go back to your place.”
Max seemed to consider it for a moment. Some selfish part of Safi almost felt disappointed. But then Max shook her head, squeezing Safi’s hand back. “I’m fine. Let’s do this.”
A smirk formed on Safi’s face and she pulled the woman along with her, weaving through silhouettes. “First things first, we need drinks,” she stated. She dragged Max along behind her as she navigated their way to the front door like it was second nature.
The music got impossible loud as soon as they stepped inside the house. Safi shot a quick glance over her shoulder to ensure the noise wasn’t making Max too uncomfortable, but she mostly seemed a little unsure and out of her element. Her blue eyes met Safi’s, uncertain and nervous, like she was looking for Safi to guide her on what to do. Why that sent a pang of what felt like possessiveness through Safi’s entire being, she wasn’t sure she wanted to unpack at that moment.
Safi pulled them both into the kitchen, gesturing to the counter. An array of bottles and cans sat on top of it, ranging from cheap beer to cheap vodka. At these types of parties, people didn’t care what they drank as long as they were plastered by the end. “Pick your poison,” Safi said, unscrewing the cap of one of the vodka bottles.
“They just leave these out for everyone?” Max asked hesitantly, watching as Safi tipped the alcohol into a nearby glass, about two shots worth. Starting strong.
“At normal house parties, no.” Safi gestured lazily to the beer. “That’s the type of thing you’d find. But at Abraxas parties?” She grinned, then downed the shots. “You get the finer things. Perks of being sponsored by alum on the school board. And being pretty exclusive. But you’ve got an in: moi.” Safi bowed, tilting her head up to look at Max.
Max hummed thoughtfully. “Pour me a shot.” She pointed at the bottle Safi was holding.
Safi’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Really now? My, my, Max Caulfield drinking vodka. Never thought I’d see the day.” She complied, pouring a few ounces of the drink into a glass, then passing it to Max. “Sure you can handle the burn? It doesn’t go down quite as smoothly as a cosmopolitan.”
Max eyed Safi with faux irritation as she took the glass. “I’ve had vodka before, you know.”
Safi watched amusedly as Max downed the shot, a shudder rushing through her. “Could have fooled me,” She muttered, her gaze lingering just a second too long.
Safi shook her head and poured herself another shot. She was too sober for this, and the whole point of Abraxas parties was to get hammered.
Max made a small noise of concern in the back of her throat as she watched Safi tip the glass back. “Three is a lot for just starting out, don’t you think?”
“Aw, you worried about little ol’ me?” Safi placed the glass back down on the counter, steadying herself with a hand on top of the granite. She met Max’s eyes. In them was a hint of genuine concern. Safi sighed, “I’ll be fine, Max. Trust me, I know my limits.”
Safi couldn’t stand Max’s bright eyes and all of the emotion that swam in them. She’d never believed that bullshit about the eyes being “windows to the soul”, despite her poetic nature. Until Max came along, at least. It was part of the reason the woman had captivated Safi in a way that no one else had.
Max reached for the vodka and poured herself another two shots, gulping them down like she had something to prove. She met Safi’s eyes after grimacing from the taste, a steely determination in them. Safi felt unsure what to do with herself. Suddenly, she was much less interested in the act of partying and much more interested in being around Max.
“Y’know what?” Safi reached for Max’s hand, taking it and pulling the woman with her, her new destination being the backyard of the house. “Fuck mingling.”
A startled noise left Max’s mouth, but she put up no resistance. Safi tried to ignore how the noise sent a jolt through her, a feeling that she wasn’t quite ready to put a name to. Besides, she had the excuse of being a little bit tipsy now. Tipsy thoughts don’t count.
They weaved their way through the wasted partygoers. Safi kept a strong grip on Max’s hand, keeping the photographer close behind her. Some people tried to make conversation with Safi, but she rid herself of them with a few easy words.
She slid open the door to the backyard, letting Max go first before following. The backyard was spacious and surprisingly empty. Only a couple people were scattered around the area, talking in hushed voices. An empty bench sat to the side of the door.
“It’s nice out here.” Max took in the night sky, the cool breeze. “Would make for a good photo.”
“Yeah, it would,” Safi said, eyes locked on Max.
She watched as Max spun slowly, staring up at the stars. A small itch formed in her throat.
Safi cleared her throat, Max turning to face her upon hearing the sound. “Sorry,” Max said sheepishly, a shy smile playing on her lips.
“No, no. It wasn’t that. Just felt an itch.” Safi gestured to the bench, trying to shove the urge to kiss Max’s smile back into whatever corner of her mind it had come from. “Wanna sit?”
Max nodded and walked over to the bench, sitting down with a soft sigh. Safi followed suit, angling her body towards Max.
“So, you’ve never been to a party before?” The question was more of a statement. She could tell from the way Max seemed out of her comfort zone. It didn’t help that Max’s history consisted of having an introverted personality and being on the road.
Max chuckled awkwardly. “I went to one when I was in high school, but it… it didn’t turn out all that great.” Her voice sounded strained.
Safi examined Max for a moment, noticing that the photographer shrunk in on herself at the mention of the party. Safi shrugged. “In my experience, they never went all that well. A bunch of teenagers with access to booze? I used to think it was the coolest thing, but now it just sounds like a disaster.” She paused. “Shit, am I getting old?”
“Happens to all of us eventually,” Max said with a grin.
“Hell no, not to me. I’ll stay this gorgeous forever.” Safi framed her face, sitting up straight.
She watched as Max’s eyes flickered over her features. “Well, if anyone can do it, I’d bet my money on you.”
Safi was hopelessly caught off guard by that. Her brows furrowed as she stared at Max, trying to gauge the tone of Max’s slightly slurred words. Was that flirting? Or was she imagining things? Max seemed to have no reaction to the words, so Safi figured her safest conclusion was that Max was getting a little too tipsy for her own good. Better to just ignore it.
“Such a charmer, Caulfield.” Safi glanced around at the grass and up at the moon. She needed an excuse to look at something other than Max. “Not so bad, is it?”
Max huffed out a soft laugh. “It’s not. But this is way far from what I thought you meant when you said partying.”
“Honestly? Me too.” Safi grinned, tilting her head to look back at Max. “Maybe you’re just mellowing me out.”
“I’m sure Yasmin is happy about that,” Max snorted. But then she met Safi’s eyes, her expression shifting into something serious. “But… I’m not sure I’d want you to mellow out. I like you how you are.”
Safi blinked. She felt a tug at her heart, strange and new. Heat rose to her cheeks. “Forgot how much of a sap you are sometimes.” She cleared her throat and looked away, embarrassed. Clearly three shots wasn’t enough for her to talk to Max Caulfield.
“But you know I’m serious, right?”
Safi froze, her attention back on Max. The photographer was sitting up straight now, leaning closer to Safi. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, eyes searching Safi’s expression. There was so much vulnerability in Max’s eyes, an urgency in the way she was looking at Safi.
Safi opened her mouth to speak, but was lost for words. All she could do was lose herself in the striking blue of Max’s eyes. Beautiful as the ocean, and hiding just as many secrets. So familiar to Safi, but somehow vastly unknown.
Max shifted closer. Safi felt her chest tighten. “You’re my best friend, Safi. I haven’t had one of those in a while.”
Safi quickly deflected again, laughing softly. Max always got affectionate when she drank, this was nothing new to Safi. “I didn’t realize you were such a lightweight, Max. You only had a few shots-”
“Safi.” Max pressed, voice insistent. “Please.”
Another itch, deep in her chest this time. It felt similar to the tug from earlier, but it wasn’t quite the same.
Max took a deep breath, then continued. “You mean a lot to me. You pulled me out of this… hole that I’d dug myself into. I just need to know that you know what you mean to me.”
Safi’s gaze softened. Max was a bleeding heart artist. Safi had known it since she laid eyes on Max in her mother’s office. Since they’d become friends, Max had never shied away from telling Safi how much she cared. Almost like she had to. Like she was atoning for something by assuring Safi how much she cared. But this was different. This was a real worry, a real fear that Safi could see manifesting in Max’s head, behind those blue eyes.
“I know, Max. I do,” Safi said softly, reaching over to rest a hand on top of Max’s. Max pressed her lips together, the way she always did when she was getting emotional. Safi offered her a gentle smile. “How about we head home?”
Max shook her head. “But you wanted…”
Safi stood, pulling Max up with her. “I’m not in the mood for partying right now.” Safi reached into her back pocket with her free hand, sliding out her phone and sending a quick message to Moses. “Besides, there will be other parties I can drag you to. Don’t think you’re getting out of it.”
“Damn,” Max mumbled. “And here I thought that this would be enough to satisfy you.”
Safi scoffed. “Oh please, Max. We didn’t even really party. There’s no way you thought that this would fulfill your agreement.”
She pulled Max back through the house, gently guiding the photographer back to the front yard. The two of them stood out in the grass quietly, waiting for Moses to arrive.
“You know, I think I’d honestly rather just stay in and drink with you next time.” Max’s slurred voice cut through the silence.
Safi turned her head to meet Max’s eyes. Max was looking at her with an intensity that Safi hadn’t quite seen on her before. There was an emotion in her eyes that Safi couldn’t place. “Oh? We do that pretty often already though.”
“Yeah, and I like it.” Max moved closer. “I like spending time with you,” she mumbled. Max reached out, hands wrapping around Safi’s waist as she pulled her into a hug.
Safi couldn’t stop the small smile that slipped onto her face. “Ah, tipsy enough to get all touchy?” She teased lightly, but returned Max’s embrace all the same. Similar to Safi, Max was very prone to being physically affectionate once she got drunk enough. There had been nights where they were all over each other, refusing to separate unless they needed to.
Max grumbled something unintelligible into Safi’s neck. Safi felt an unbidden wave of affection for Max crash through her. Max knew how much Safi cared for and appreciated her. But what Max didn’t know yet was that she had pulled Safi out of a dark time as well. She’d shown up at Caledon when Safi needed her most, reeling from Maya’s death and the coverup that came after. Safi had been distrustful of those closest to her and alone in her grief, until this sensitive artist appeared and showed Safi a care that she wasn’t sure she deserved.
Safi was lost in thought when Moses arrived, the tires of his gray van kicking up dirt as they rolled over the grass. She looked up at Moses as he stepped out of his car, ready to survey the damage. But all he found was Max clinging to Safi, face buried in her neck.
Moses glanced at Safi, confusion etched into his expression. “Is she okay?”
Safi felt Max pull away from her upon hearing Moses’s voice, her face lighting up. “Moses! Hi!”
“You know how she gets,” Safi explained, hands holding Max gently by her shoulders. “She’s just a little tipsy, but she’ll be fine.” She started walking Max to the car, draping an arm over Max’s shoulders to offer support.
“Am I driving both of you home?” Moses asked, following the two of them back to his car. Safi opened the door and helped Max into the backseat, getting in beside her once she was buckled in. “Just take us to Hellerton. I’m gonna make sure she gets in bed okay.”
Moses nodded, starting the engine. The drive back home was quiet. At some point, Max had leaned over to rest her head on Safi’s shoulder. After a few moments of cursing herself for not having more shots, Safi rested her head on top of Max’s.
She was not drunk enough for this.
When they arrived at Hellerton House, Safi thanked Moses for being their designated driver while she helped Max out of the car. “I owe you.”
“I’m picking the movie for our next movie night. Then your debt will be settled,” Moses said with a kind smile.
Safi tilted her head back and groaned over-dramatically. She could never understand the stuff that Moses watched, but she sat through it anyway. He was her only other real friend besides Max. “Fineee.”
Moses shook his head good-naturedly. “Have a good night, Safi. You too, Max.”
“You know I will.” Max shot him a thumbs up, a lopsided smile on her face.
Safi and Moses exchanged a look, then Safi sighed. “I’ll get her in bed, don’t worry. Night, Moses.”
Even though it usually irritated her that she seemed to have little middle ground between sober and drunk, Safi was thanking whatever higher being existed that she could tank a few shots and still feel relatively okay. Although the alcohol was starting to get to her, making her feel slightly dizzy. She just needed to focus on getting Max to bed first, then she could pass out.
Safi helped Max up to the porch as Moses drove off. Once in front of the door, she reached into Max’s pocket and pulled out the key to the house. She slid it into the lock and turned, pushing the door open.
“Alright Max, let’s get you in bed,” she muttered under her breath. She kicked the door shut behind her, making a mental note to remember to lock it after Max fell asleep. “Can you get up the stairs okay?”
Max huffed. “I’m a little tipsy, not blacked out,” she grumbled, sounding offended.
“Okay, okay, my bad. It’s hard to tell with you.” Safi smirked. She just couldn’t help egging the photographer on.
“Don’t bullshit me, you can tell,” Max retorted, making her way up the stairs with Safi close behind her.
Safi placed a guiding hand on the small of Max’s back, ensuring she made it to the loft safely. Once there, Safi opened Max’s pajama drawer and tossed a shirt and some sweatpants onto the bed. “Can you put these on? I’m gonna go grab some water for you.”
Before leaving, Safi knelt down in front of Max, who had promptly sat down on the bed. She untied Max’s boots and slipped them off, setting them to the side. “I’ll be right back.”
She walked down the stairs, hearing rustling coming from the loft as Max changed into the pajamas Safi had given her. She navigated Max’s kitchen easily, having been there enough to almost be considered a roommate. She turned the sink on, filling the cups of water, then brought them back up to the loft.
Safi glanced over at the bed as she ascended the staircase. Max was already curled up on her side. A warm wave of fondness spread through her. “Did you pass out already?” She asked softly, setting one of the glasses down on the bedside table next to Max.
“No.” Came the muffled response, sounding more like a groan than anything.
Safi frowned. “You aren’t sick, are you?” She took a small sip of her own water, feeling the alcohol she’d drunk start to settle more deeply within her now that the excitement was over.
Max shook her head, but that was all she offered in response.
Safi pursed her lips, then sighed. “I’m going to stay the night, okay? I’ll be down on the couch if you need me, so come get me if you’re feeling sick or anything.”
As she started to move towards the staircase, she heard Max mumble something. Something that sounded a lot like “stay”.
Safi turned back to Max, chest tightening. “What’d you say?” She stepped closer to the bed, kneeling down next to Max.
“Stay up here tonight,” Max said, lifting her head so her voice was clearer.
Safi could see a sort of pleading in Max’s eyes, something that caused the small itch she’d felt before to develop into something uncontrollable. She coughed softly, turning her head away from Max as she did. The itch didn’t go away this time.
“Okay, just… give me a second.” Safi stood up and placed the second cup of water on the other bedside table. She quickly made her way to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her. She coughed again, an itch in her lungs that she just couldn’t get rid of. She reached for her chest, gripping her shirt tightly as she hacked.
Safi flipped the switch behind her to turn on the fan, hoping that it would drown out the noise of her choking. She heaved, body wracked with coughs so deep in her chest she thought she might actually be coughing up a lung.
It was then that she felt something shoot into her mouth from her windpipe. Something soft and paper thin. She coughed again and the object fell from her mouth gracefully. A light blue flower petal sat prettily in the center of her hand. It was small and round, and Safi could have sworn that she’d seen petals like it somewhere.
Safi stared at the petal, beyond confused. Had she just coughed up a fucking flower? She hardly had time to question it, the itch hitting her once more. She coughed up what she assumed to be a second petal, spitting it out after. It landed in her hand right next to the first. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Safi thought idly that the two petals together looked strangely similar to a butterfly.
She stared at the two petals until she remembered that Max was waiting for her. And had likely heard the coughing fit she’d just suffered through. Safi stiffly shoved the petals into her pocket. She didn’t want Max asking about them later.
Safi opened the door and turned off the light, shutting the fan off. She rejoined Max, kicking off her shoes and shedding her jacket, draping it over the chair at Max’s desk.
Safi slipped under the sheets behind Max, staring at the back of the photographer’s head. All she could think about were the petals that she had just spit out. Where the hell had they come from? Was she hallucinating? What did it mean?
“Are you okay?” Max’s timid voice cut through her thoughts.
Max’s voice grounded her, at least for now, gently bringing her back to the reality she was in. She was in bed with Max. The two of them had just spent the night together. Everything was okay. She was okay.
Safi took a deep breath, then gently rested a hand on Max’s waist. Relief flooded through her when Max accepted the touch, resting her hand on top of Safi’s and tugging it further around her, pulling Safi closer.
It should have felt familiar, the way they held each other. They were no stranger to cuddling. But it just brought the itch back. Thankfully not enough for Safi to start hacking up petals.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” Safi whispered. She leaned forwards and rested her forehead at the base of Max’s neck, breathing evening out as the itching slowly subsided. “Goodnight, Max.”
“Goodnight, Safi.”