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The ride home had been brief. Robbie had parked in the guest area and stayed in the bike while Dennis ran in to get a guest parking placard. He had to take Robbie's drivers license in, which was the first time he'd seen his full name. Dennis ran back out to him.
“Your name is Michael? I thought it was Robbie.” Dennis said, handing him back the drivers license.
“My doctor name is Dr. Robinavitch. A lot of patients have a harder time saying that, so I shortened it to Robbie. Dr. Robbie.” Robbie explained, swinging his leg over the bike. He slipped the card back in his wallet and reached down for his bag out of the saddlebag. He slung it over his shoulder and reached for Dennis’ hand.
Dennis slipped his hand into Robbie’s. “Makes sense. I like Michael.”
“Michael likes you.” Robbie smiled, squeezing their hands.
Dennis led him into the apartment complex and up to his apartment. He unlocked the door and pulled Robbie in. “Come in, come in.”
Robbie smiled brightly. “This is your home? I like it.”
“Me and Victoria. I was usually here a lot more, just hanging out in my room usually. Victoria, she liked studying in the living room but I- I liked my room. You wanna see?” Dennis asked, leading him through the little kitchen.
“I do want to see.” Robbie agreed.
Dennis pulled him all the way into his little room and closed the door behind them. “Tadaa. What do you think? I did it all myself.”
Robbie looked around Dennis’ little room. He had decorated as much as he could with things he’d collected since he’d moved but there wasn’t much. Movie tickets, cool tattoos from gumball machines, precious few things from home. He had a few current family pictures that he had carefully removed himself from, several of him and his brothers. One of his parents. He had them on his bookshelf, where he didn’t have to see them. His bed was neat, his desk was cleared. It looked nice enough. “I love it.”
Dennis pulled his jacket off. “It’s okay. I like being at your house now.”
“It smells like you.” Robbie observed, walking over to the bed.
“Yeah? Is that a good thing?” Dennis asked. He hung up his jacket and unzipped his bag. He unpacked it and pulled out his teddy bear.
“Yeah, baby. Of course it’s a good thing.” Robbie said, pulling his bag off and onto the bed. “It’ll be nice to stay here. I can take good care of you.”
Dennis blushed and walked over to the bed with him. “I might not even be getting it, you know. I mean- I don’t have a super regular one anyway.” He tucked the teddy bear under the comforter and stepped back.
Robbie’s eyebrows raised. “Do you know why that is?”
“Uh- no. I’m hoping it stops when I start testosterone but- you know. It was more regular I guess when I was in Nebraska-” Dennis explained..
“Were you eating regular meals there?” Robbie asked.
“Yes. My mom cooked everything we ate. Breakfast, she made our lunches and we had dinner every night. Except Wednesdays- we ate dinner at church.” He chewed his cheek and tried to connect the dots. “What are you diagnosing me with?”
Robbie shook his head. “I’m not, baby. I’m just trying to think. I don’t think you’re eating enough food and that’s making your body struggle to- you know. Handle processes.”
Dennis nodded. “Yeah. Probably. I have read that.” He felt embarrassed. “I’m working on it. I get to eat a lot more now and I’ll have even better luck next semester-”
“You don’t need to be lucky- you do have me. I can always give you money, get you food, anything. You know that. I can put my card on your phone.” Robbie said.
Dennis blushed and pushed his face into Robbie’s chest. “You really don’t have to.”
“No, but I want to. I want you to eat and have the things you need or want.” Robbie pressed. “I want you to get into bed though, so you can rest.”
Dennis nodded and walked to his closet. Most of his favorite clothes had been put away at Robbie’s house, so he pulled on a shirt from his 4-H and a pair of linen shorts. “If you get pajamas on, I’ll show you where my bathroom is.”
Robbie nodded quickly. He knelt down and untied his boots, unzipped his jacket and laid it over Whitaker’s chair. He grabbed his toiletries bag and reached for Dennis’ hand. “Come on baby. Brush your teeth.”
Whitaker led him out of the bedroom, into the hallway to the bathroom. “Where the pre magic happens. I mean- I do all my everything showers here. Before we shoot or I come over to hang out.”
Robbie smiled. “I like it.” He put his bag on the sink and unpacked his toothbrush.
Dennis did the same and swiped moisturizer under his eyes. “Want some?”
Robbie smiled and took some. “Thank you. Sweet boy.”
“You have to leave now though. So I can get ready for bed.” Dennis explained. He grabbed a towel and handed it to Robbie. “You can take this too.”
Robbie obeyed, closing the bathroom door behind himself.
Dennis really didn’t want to start his period but if it did, that would be another level of relationship building, wouldn’t it? He got ready anyway, pulling on clean period underwear under his pajama pants. He washed his hands, put on vaseline and walked back to his room. He opened the door and saw Robbie laying on his bed, arm behind his head and glasses perched on his nose. Dennis’ teddy bear was tucked against his side. It was a picture of heaven. Dennis grinned and ran to the bed. “You look so cozy.”
Robbie opened his arms for Dennis to climb up on the bed. “I am. Your bed is warm and I like knowing you have everything you need.”
Dennis nuzzled into his arms. “I have everything I need right now.”
Robbie kissed his temple. “Get some rest then. I’ll be right here.”
Dennis leaned up and kissed Robbie. “Thank you, sir. Can’t tell you what this means to me. You.” He nuzzled against Robbie’s neck and closed his eyes.
Robbie kissed him again. “I’m so happy to be here. So happy to have you.”
“You do.” Dennis promised. He tucked his Robbie bear under his arm and snuggled into Robbie.
Dennis fell asleep quickly, listening to Robbie’s heart beat in his chest. He felt held again, his whole body full of peace and ease. It had been so long.
The next morning, Dennis woke up with Robbie’s arm thrown over his waist, his glasses askew on his face and soft snores sneaking out of his mouth. Dennis was pleased to roll onto his side and fall asleep once more, safe in Robbie’s arms.
Sometime later, Dennis felt the bed shift. He sat up sharply, throwing a hand out. “Whatssgoingon?”
“Shh. Lay back down baby.” Robbie soothed. “You’re safe.” He promised.
“Where are you going?’ Dennis whispered.
“I got breakfast and groceries. Lay down, I’ll bring it to you.” Robbie insisted. “I’ll be right back.”
“You what?” Dennis asked, rubbing his hand on his face. “What?”
“I got groceries for you and Victoria- just pantry staples and the like. And I got breakfast from the coffee place you like, it’s right outside the door.” Robbie explained.
“That’s so nice.” Dennis observed. “She’s gonna be so excited.”
“Oh yeah?” Robbie said, slipping his sweat pants off. He changed into brown carhartt pants and black socks.
“Yeah. Her mom usually complains because she eats on campus a lot-” Dennis explained, climbing out of bed. He realized at once that his calendar had been correct. “Ah, fuck.”
“Yeah. It’s okay, I can take that home and wash it.” Robbie offered.
“What? No. You’re not taking my period sheets to your house to wash them.” Dennis insisted. “I’m sorry- did- did it get on you?’
Robbie’s smile betrayed him. “No. Don’t worry, babe, I’m a big boy. I can handle anything that does get on me.”
Dennis hid his face. “This is literally the most cringe thing I’ve ever done. What was I thinking? Oh, sleepover with me while I get my period!” He stomped over to the dresser and pulled out clean clothes. “Nightmare, nightmare.”
“Baby. You don’t have to worry. I promise.” Robbie insisted. “I’m gonna let you change and I’ll bring your breakfast in.”
Dennis’ eyes burned. Robbie seemed so effortlessly kind. “Thank you.”
Robbie bowed out of the bedroom door, closing it behind himself.
Dennis stripped his bed, wiping his eyes as tears flowed. He could dismiss it as being tied to his cycle but he knew it was just… sad.
He had read a book in his world literature course last semester that had broken his heart. The line that he had pondered in his discussion post had been “sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you've been ruined” and he felt ruined now. He felt ruined every time Robbie just- effortlessly cared for him, worried for him, loved him, maybe.
Dennis shook his head. No. No. Too much. Too soon.
He collected clean clothes, shoved his sheets in his laundry bag and threw his comforter over the bare mattress. Dennis walked over to the bathroom, rinsed himself off in the shower and pulled on his clothes. He brushed his teeth and washed his face with Robbie’s soap.
Dennis stepped out to the kitchen and saw bags and bags of groceries. Way more than just pantry staples. “Robbie!”
Robbie turned from the fridge where he was putting away cold items. “Hey. You feel okay?”
“Yeah. Sorry about that. Last night, I mean.” Dennis explained. “This is a lot of food.”
Robbie smiled. “Yeah, baby. I’m not going to ask you anymore, I’m just gonna make sure you have food.”
Dennis blushed. “Robbie, you’re too nice to me.”
“I thought I was allowed to be nice to you. Especially on days like today.” He turned around and picked up the coffee carrier and brown paper sack. “Want to go back to your room to eat breakfast? I can feed you if you want.”
Dennis shook his head. “We can stay out here. I put your movie collection on my tv so it’s just like your house.” He joked.
“Better.” Robbie smiled. “Let’s go eat then.” He let Dennis lead the way to the cozy living room.
Dennis sat on the side of the couch and patted the side. “Thank you. This is a nice way to spend the morning. You’re really nice, you know? And I want to be nice to you. I want to know things. I feel so silly- we’re dating and I didn’t know your name was Michael.”
Robbie unpacked the breakfast food and put a straw in his coffee. “I should’ve been more clear about that. What do you want to know about?”
Dennis smiled. “Everything. I want to know everything. You said your grandmother taught you to make grilled cheese, you run an emergency department in a hospital, your name is Michael. Trinity said you weren’t a relationship person before me- but you have friends right? I don’t know very much, but you know so much about me.”
Robbie’s eyes darted away. “Yeah. I keep myself pretty closed off. That’s kind of just- me.” He shrugged.
Dennis moved closer and put a hand on his knee. “I want to know about the parts that are closed. Do you think we could work on that?”
Robbie nodded but didn’t look back at him. “Yeah. I can work on it.”
“Me and you, Robbie. You don’t have to do it by yourself. I want to help you like you help me.” Dennis insisted.
Robbie nodded and finally, finally made eye contact. “All right. I can try. Let’s eat, yeah?”
Dennis swung his legs over Robbie’s thigh and snuggled against him. “Thank you, sir.” His heart was racing.
“Yeah baby.” He unwrapped Dennis’ sandwich and held it to his lips. “Open up.”
Dennis took a bite of his sandwich and sighed happily. “My favorite. You want a bite?”
Robbie took a bite and nodded. “Yes, this is so good.” He agreed. “Perfect breakfast. Perfect boy. Perfect day.”
Dennis blushed. “Robbie- did anyone call you Mikey?”
Robbie glanced at him quickly. “Uh. Yeah. People have called me that.”
“You look like a Mikey.” Dennis said, kicking his feet. “I like Robbie best though, it suits you. My Robbie.”
Robbie’s shoulders relaxed. “Yeah? I’m glad you like it. I like when you say it.”
Dennis tucked against his arm. “It is already a perfect day.” He agreed. He might get used to this, being held, fed, seen. He would love that. And if Robbie really opened up to him- that would just be everything.