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As his body was torn asunder under hoof and paw of beast, Gundham was relieved to find that even one such as himself could still feel pain. He was worried he had lost that sensation when he had ended the life of another.
There was a haze above, the sun low in the sky. He could feel its rays from the heavens caress his skin as it dropped lower still. His time was fleeting; the last few grains in the hour glass before he entered pandemonium. He wondered, if his companion in battle would greet him upon entry. Would Gundham be able to face Nekomaru’s spirit, his uncontainable energy unleashed from physical form? He hoped they would battle again, sans limitation. He hoped Nekomaru’s soul would beat his own in such a fight.
Yes. Gundham was dying. It was an unavoidable fact; but he was glad for it. In dying, he proved that he was a human all along. Heh. How ironic. All this time, that was all he claimed not to be— and all he ever wanted.
Gundham opened his eyes, vision blurred and blinking. He was encased, entombed in glass; restricted and restrained by the grasping vines of pandemonium. Before him, light, green and blue. He gasped wildly. Within his ribs, he felt the sharp pains of his execution, a reminder of the price of life. He tried to escape, to free himself of his bondage, when a figure approached him hurriedly.
“Gundham? Gundham!”
No. No.
“M-my sweet kitten, Sonia, no… what are you doing here? Who has done this to you?” Gundham’s voice cracked.
“Gundham, it’s alright.” Sonia came into clarity. She looked… older. Not terribly so, but enough to imply she had survived for potentially years after Gundham’s death. Pandaemonium was a strange, confusing place; it made sense that he should lose time there.
“It’s not alright! How… how did you end up here, in the ether? In the time beyond time?” Gundham cried out. It hurt so much more to know she had felt that sting of death than even dying himself.
“Gundham,” Sonia smiled softly. “You’re alive. Everyone… Everyone is alive.”
Gundham blinked. “Alive?”
“Yes,” Sonia said, putting her hands on his shoulder. “Alive.”
Gundham began to laugh. Uncontrollably and uproariously laugh. Everyone. Everyone! Everyone had lived! Even one such as himself. It was like a dream. Sonia moved her hand to his back and he fell completely into her arms. She ran his hands through his hair.
“I’ve been waiting for this day for so long,” she said, a smile and a tear in her voice. “Oh, Gundham, how I’ve missed you!”
“She’s not the only one,” another voice called from beyond the blue light.
Gundham peered over her shoulder, to find— him; Nekomaru Nidai, the boundless spirit of energy, resurrected once again, this time into his flesh. He looked… weakened. Frail. He used a carriage in place of ambulation.
Gundham tried to release himself again from his chains.
“Calm down, I can come to you,” the resurrection said, crossing the space.
Gundham reached out to him when he approached. He never so badly in his life wanted to feel the touch of others; he used to fear it so deeply, this touch of his that could harm. He reminded himself how capable of harm he truly was. Nekomaru was before him; but he had still stolen this man’s life from him. He wanted to prove to his senses that this was no apparition before his eyes, but he paused mid-way, unsure of if he was truly deserving of such a treat.
Nekomaru laughed, grabbing his hand as it was in the air and intertwining their fingers. “It’s okay, Gundham. It’s okay.” Nekomaru pressed his forehead to Gundham’s, and Gundham felt his breath release. “We’re all okay, now.”
Gundham would come to learn of terrors and atrocities beyond his comprehension, committed by his own hand no less. He would come to learn of years that had faded, slipping back into the past at moments inopportune. He would learn of what transpired in the killing game after his departure. And he would learn of Nekomaru, of Sonia, of love he did not think at times he deserved.
In those times, they would remind him that he did not need to earn it.
The will of the universe dictated that he would be alive, and loved, and happy, regardless of how much he hated himself. And who was he to deny the universe?