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Juzo is pretty sure love is a scam.
Think about it: someone who shares all your money, all your stuff, your house, your room, your bed. No privacy for the rest of your life, and, what, because you care about somebody? You want to spend all your time with them? Most people (his mom) tell him that sharing everything is a positive of love, but he can’t wrap his head around it.
He’s never seen himself marrying; the faceless girl walking down the aisle as he stands there waiting and nervous like a moron fills him mostly with a feeling of dread. So when Juzo gets his soul mark at 16, he covers the white outline of a rose on his bicep in whatever way he can. Sorry, faceless lady— you'll just have to find your second-best.
It gets him all kinds of teasing about being a prude in the locker room. But if that means he can avoid one of the guys coming up to him and telling him that their sister’s his soulmate, then they can mock him all they want. Besides, as he rises through the ranks of the ring, it becomes something of a signature; most boxers don’t even wear a shirt, let alone sleeves. People think it’s charming, or something. Anything that makes you stand out makes you money, so he doesn’t hate it entirely.
It’s not really a problem, until his friends start pairing off with girls who aren’t even their soulmates, which Juzo just does not get at all. Why subject yourself to that? After that happens, then the teasing turns from ‘Sakakura is a prude’ to ‘Sakakura is a virgin’. Which is true, but he doesn’t really find that aspect of love too appealing, either, honestly. But that one’s more annoying. It makes him feel… weird. Like maybe there’s something wrong with him for not wanting to date a girl.
He tries it once. It doesn’t go well. She calls him cruel, and he can’t even deny it, because he’s sort of been snappy the whole night and won’t let her kiss him. He decides he’s still better off without.
It starts to become pretty unbearable to be around his friends after that blunder. He finds himself running away, of all places, to the library. It’s easy to pretend he’s got tutoring or whatever, and he knows they’ll never follow him there. The regular denizens look at him like he’s maybe got a bomb in his pocket, but it’s still better than being subjected to his friends calling him bitchless.
The only person brave enough to approach him is Kyosuke Munakata. Juzo doesn’t know the guy well; he’s their class president, and has been all three years he’s been here, since that was his talent and everything. He always seems so serious. His third time escaping to the library, Kyosuke places a book on the table. “You know, most people do something while they're here.”
Juzo looks up at him with a face he thinks probably looks overly scary. If he wanted to be made fun of, he’d spend free period with his piece of shit friends. “You got a problem?”
“No,” Munakata says, sitting next to him and opening the book. And Juzo can recognize an olive branch when he sees one, so he just grunts in response, leaning back in his chair and waiting out the clock.
After a few free periods sitting next to Munakata and doing nothing, Juzo starts to get bored. “Do you ever talk?” He asks one day, fed up with the silence.
“This is the library,” Munakata responds. “You’re not supposed to talk.”
Juzo looks away, leaning on his hand and definitely not pouting.
“Would you… like to talk?”
Juzo looks back, somewhat shocked. “Um. yeah. I mean, I guess. I don’t know anything about you.”
Kyosuke closes his book, packs it away, and stands up. He looks at him expectantly. “Well?”
Juzo follows his lead.
They start going for walks. It’s still early in the school year, so the cherry blossoms are out. It’s… it’s nice. Kyosuke is surprisingly cool. Apparently he knows how to use a fucking sword, which is crazy. Juzo wants him to teach him. He imagines him correcting his form, getting into his space and adjusting his muscles ever so gently. He imagines those slender fingers on his back, their faces close together, and then…
What?
“Is everything alright?” Kyosuke asks.
“Y-yeah,” Juzo can feel himself flushing, so he looks away. “It’s nothing.”
Spring gives way to summer, and Juzo can’t stop thinking about Kyosuke. He’s started dreaming about him, about sword fighting or having a friendly wrestling match. Him coming to his boxing matches, going to the side of the rink after a victory and pulling him in from the crowd and…
Fuck. No. He can’t be… that’s… it’s just not possible. He’s everything gay isn’t. And fuck, he’s boxed his whole life, and he never looked at any guys like that. Lord knows he’s seen his fair share of muscle in the locker room.
Is Kyosuke muscular? He always seems so lithe, but he probably has lean muscle… Gah! Don’t think about that!
He’s not… he’s not gay. And he's not into Kyosuke. It’s just nice to have a friend who isn’t into the roided-out-testosterone-macho-man stuff. Honestly.
“You’re still wearing your blazer.”
“Huh?’ Juzo looks over at his walking companion.
“You’re in your blazer, it’s blistering out,” Kyosuke comments. He’s just in shirt sleeves—The short sleeved version of their uniform shirt.
At this point, Juzo doesn’t even notice the heat when it’s warm out. He’s been wearing exclusively long sleeves for two years. “O-oh, yeah. I don’t mind the heat.”
Kyosuke pulls a face. “Don’t you get sweaty?”
Juzo laughs. “If I got miffed about a little sweat, I wouldn’t be a boxer.”
Kyosuke shrugs. He almost looks… disappointed? No, that’s projecting. Juzo is projecting. “Very well.”
Halfway through the year, Kyosuke gets a girlfriend, and Juzo is so weird to her. And he hates himself for it, because she really is a nice girl. Probably cute, if you notice that sort of thing.
Juzo was starting to realize he doesn’t ever really notice that about girls, and that that’s not great for making his case.
Chisa always makes it a point to invite him along to stuff, even though he insists on being grumpy the whole time. He really starts losing his mind when she starts coming on their walks.
One day, towards graduation, she approaches him before his workout.
“Juzo! Hey, can we talk for a sec?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
“Okay, great!” She smiles. “Kyosuke was too chicken to ask you, so I’m doing it for him!”
Juzo feels his blood pressure spike when she mentions Kyosuke. He was too chicken to ask him something? What could it be? Could it be… no, obviously not, Chisa was the one asking it. She’d never… That’s ridiculous. It wouldn’t work anyway. He likes Chisa, and they’re great together, and…
“Juzo Sakakura,” she points at him. “Will you be Kyosuke’s and my roommate this upcoming year?”
…What?
His brain short circuits. “You want to live with me?”
“Kyosuke does!” Chisa smiles. “And I want to live with Kyosuke, so… oh, and you too!”
Juzo frowns. He starts to feel… really sad. He’s been so awful to this girl, and she loves Kyosuke enough that she’d still live with Juzo if it meant living with Kyosuke. God, he needs to get his shit together. “I’m sorry.”
Chisa deflates. “Oh… you don’t want to?”
“N-no, I mean…” He sighs. “I’m sorry for how I’ve been treating you. You really are good for him.”
“Oh, Juzo!” She pounces on him with a hug, which causes his blood pressure to spike again. “I just knew you’d come around. You’re not actually so scary, are you? You’re just like a big puppy when Kyosuke is concerned!”
He looks away from her, embarrassed. “Don’t push it.”
And so, after they graduate, they find an apartment and move in together.
Chisa is… well, it turns out, she’s not very shy. He has many near-breast experiences within the first month, usually while she’s frazzled and getting ready for school or work. Juzo always covers his eyes, while Kyosuke, usually not even looking up from whatever he’s doing, simply reminds her she needs a shirt.
During the second month, he learns to be strategic about when to enter the common area of the apartment. It’s not until the third month, when he walks into the apartment to Chisa is crying on the couch in her underwear and one of Kyosuke’s shirts, that Juzo’s modest peace is once again disturbed.
But, she is crying on the couch, so he probably should do something to stop that. That's the bigger issue.
“H-hey…” He says awkwardly and without a plan.
She looks up at him. “Hi…” She says meekly.
He walks over to her and crouches down in front of her. “What’s… what’s up?”
She starts wailing. “I’m so stressed! I have so many houses to clean and so much homework and Kyosuke is getting so cold to me and… What if this doesn’t work out, Juzo! I love him so much, but we’re just high school sweethearts! He won’t even show me his soul mark! That probably means we’re not… but I don’t want this to end… What do I do!”
Juzo sucks on his teeth. This is… not his wheelhouse. “I guess… have you told him how that makes you feel?”
“Of course not!” Chisa cries. “I don’t want to be a bitch or anything, he obviously doesn’t have to show me… oh, but if we were soulmates, why would he hide it?”
“I don’t think being upset about something makes you a bitch…” Juzo said, then amended, “Well, maybe it does, but everybody has the right to be a bitch sometimes, anyway. If he doesn’t want to show you, he doesn’t want to show you, but you could at least let him know it’s making you feel like… this.”
“...What if we’re not soulmates…” Chisa catastrophizes. “What if that ruins our relationship! And he kicks me out! And I never get to speak to you again! And then I’ll know nobody and I’ll be sad and lonely and homeless and…”
“He’s not going to do that.” Juzo says bluntly. “Even if you’re not soulmates, he’s not breaking up with you because of that. He’s obviously known ever since he’s seen your mark.”
Chisa groans, flopping around. “And that’s exactly it! He knows and I don’t, it’s maddening!”
“Then let him know he’s being a bastard!” Juzo says with exasperation.
“Yeah. Yeah! I will!” She sits up, pumping her fists in determination. He realizes then that it’s kind of fun being Chisa’s friend. She’s funny like that sometimes, with her expressions and energy, and it’s nice to be able to level with somebody without feeling like an asshole. “You know what?” She asks him. “We’re having ice cream.”
Juzo laughs. “We don’t have any.”
“We’re getting some! From the store!” She stands in triumph, and marches to her room.
It’s only then that Juzo sees it.
A white outline of a rose decorates Chisa’s thigh.
Juzo turns away immediately, even though Chisa’s walking to her room and it doesn’t matter.
That’s… Chisa is his soulmate… Chisa is his soulmate.
He should be thrilled. His soulmate is a woman. A few months ago, he’d be begging for universe-based confirmation that yes, he is indeed straight, but now that it’s happening…
It’s hard for him to imagine loving Chisa like he loved Kyosuke. He places her face into the void where the face was for the bride from his imagination, and the scene still doesn’t fit in his mind. And worse, she’s Kyosuke’s girlfriend. That’s all kinds of messed up, to steal your best friend's girl, even if they do break up.
Maybe this… this isn’t such a bad thing. Chisa really can marry her second-best. Have a million kids with Kyosuke who all call Juzo uncle. She’d never need to know they were soulmates.
Well, that’s probably a dick move. She’s pretty distressed about this Kyosuke stuff. She’ll hate him if he keeps this from her… and he’s just starting to like having her around, too.
Maybe he can explain. Maybe… Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to tell someone.
Nope, that’s stupid. He absolutely cannot do that.
Chisa walks back into the room. “Let’s go!”
He smiles, following her out the door without mentioning it. Coward.
It’s another few months before he gets too guilty to avoid it anymore. Chisa’s mood has improved, and now she’s trying to set him up with her classmates. It’s awkward. Kyosuke tells her that Juzo’s not interested, and she says he’s just shy, and Juzo shyly denies being shy, and Chisa says, “See!”
And Kyosuke’s getting more unavoidable now, too. He’s on break, so he’s studying slightly less, and that means he wants to hang out with Juzo, who is chronically available, especially when Kyosuke is involved.
He wants to go to a party. It’s so un-Kyosuke-like that it makes Juzo nervous. He says he has to get people to know him if he wants to be a part of the student government at the school.
The party is noisy and rowdy and Juzo remembers how much he hates guys like himself, the loud obnoxious types. There’s too much drinking and he ends up leaving early when someone tries to kiss him and he nearly punches her in the face. He sits outside waiting for his friends to be done with their fun.
Chisa finds him first.
“Hey,” She says, handing him a drink. He’s already buzzed, which probably isn’t helping.
“Hey.” He takes it anyway, taking a deep swig.
“That girl was cute…” Chisa says carefully.
“Sure she was,” Juzo grunts out, not liking where this was going. “I almost punched her.”
“Yeah, I… I noticed…” She says. “Sometimes you can be kinda scary like that.”
“Only when people get into my space,” he sighed. “I’m just… it’s like you said. I’m shy.”
Chisa bites her lip. “Juzo… do you…?” she trails off.
“No.” He says. It feels like a weight off his shoulders, even though he didn’t actually say anything of substance.
“I thought maybe…” She smiled at him. “That’s why you always keep your mark covered, right?”
“I…” Juzo lowers the bottle. He contemplates. “Yeah. I guess so… I’m…” He feels tears prick at the back of his eyes. Damnit. Crying at a party? What is this, a chick flick? “I think I’m…” He holds his face in his hands. “I’m just…” He looks down. “I’m scared.” He says quietly.
Chisa rubs his back. “You’ll find your person one day… Even if he’s not who you think he’s gonna be.”
“She’s not…” He actually starts crying. “Chisa… It’s you.”
Chisa’s hand stops. “Juzo…”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t… I can’t love you. I don’t know why, or how the universe made that possible, but I—”
“Juzo,” she stops him, “It’s not me.”
Juzo looks up at her. “Yes, it is! I saw your—”
“I-I know!” She throws up her hands defensively. “I mean, I guess maybe it’s… I don’t really understand it either, but, Kyosuke is my soulmate. He showed me his mark months ago. It’s… Are you sure it’s the same? A white rose outline is probably pretty common, right? Maybe…”
“It’s definitely the same… but…” Juzo scrunches his eyebrows. “I don’t understand…”
“Maybe…” she pauses. “Well… maybe it’s the three of us. Maybe… Kyosuke and me, and you and Kyosuke, and then, you and me… we’re just… platonic soulmates.”
“Platonic soulmates?” Juzo deadpanned. This theory sounds ridiculous. Who ever heard of a platonic soulmate? And having two people as your soulmate just seemed unfair.
But… even though it is stupid…
He doesn’t hate the idea. He thinks of Kyosuke, dressed in white, walking down the aisle while Juzo waits for him like a moron as Chisa stands in as his best… mate? And even though it’s impossible, and Chisa’s wedding would happen like, two seconds after Juzo’s to the same guy, it feels… it feels good, for once. He allows himself to just feel good about the idea.
And it’d be nice, to stand for Chisa, as her bride’s… mate. To see her walk down the aisle, and to be a part of that without being the main event.
“Yeah…” Juzo says after giving it some thought. “I think… you might be onto something.”
“Oh, this is great news! We need to tell Kyosuke!” She gets up and takes off.
“H-hey! Wait!” He chases her. Juzo doesn’t know if he’s exactly ready for that, yet.
But… someday… someday he will be.
And after then, after a while, maybe no more long sleeved shirts in the summer.