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My body's on the line now
I can't fight this time now
I can feel the light shine on my face
Tick. Tick. Tick. Jason lies on the floor of the warehouse, in so much pain the world has gone fuzzy around the edges. He knows he needs to move, needs to run, escape, survive, but his body won't move no matter how hard he tries and he finds his mind drifting against his will.
Did I disappoint you?
He left Gotham, ran away, trying to find someone who cared about him, someone who would believe in him. Instead he found someone who sold him out to a monster. Now, he can't help but hope that Bruce didn't mean it when he told him he wasn't his father, that Bruce loves and believes him, Batman just has to investigate every possibility. If he were here would Bruce look at him and feel ashamed? As much as it hurt he wouldn't blame him, he was a steet rat after all, and if al, it took was one maybe murder before he was no longer welcome then he was never welcome in the first place. After all he had done a lot to survive Crime Alley, stolen, sold himself, killed in self defence. His soul was stained and there was red in his ledger.
Will they still let me over
If I cross the line
Did one kill make him a monster? When he died would he go to Hell for what he'd done to keep himself alive? He was trying to be a hero, do good but when did he become a monster, where was the line between good and bad? Did intention matter, how it made you feel? Or was it just the fact that you did it? He hoped he was still good, even after all he'd done.
Take a seat
But I'd rather you not be here for
What could be my final form
Stay your pretty eyes on course
Keep the memories of who I was before
So stay with me because
He hoped and hoped and hoped. He was vaguely away he looked horrible right now and he didn't want his dad to see him like that, to remember him like that. But at the same time he wished his dad was coming right now, would get here in time to save him. But he knew that wouldn't happen, and he was glad, really, he would feel terrible if he made Bruce watch him die, or find his body. He was well aware of how awful it was to find the dead body of someone you loved, although that was assuming Bruce even cared about him.
My body's on the line now
I can't fight this time now
His thoughts were growing sluggish.
I can feel the light shine on my face
Did I disappoint you?
His vision was getting worse somehow.
Will they still let me over
And in the end there was just one name in his head.
If I cross the line?
Bruce
Red Hood and Nightwing were ambushed on patrol by a goup of around 50 gang members. They had taken them down but at some point Jason had taken a few bullet wounds to some bad places and it wasn't looking good.
Honestly
I thought I was fully prepared for
The threshold in store
Jason knew he would die for a second time, knew it was likely he would die as a vigilante. He had thought that it would be alright, when it was just a future scenario. Now, as he felt death draw closer he suddenly realised that no, he wasn't okay with dying. He wanted to see Roy and Kori again, wanted another octopus hug from Dick, wanted to have tea with Alfred and properly mend his relationship with Bruce, he wanted to see Tim and Damian grow up, wanted to go to Lian's next birthday party, wanted to talk to Barbie about books, wanted to cuddle with Cass and laugh with Steph and Duke, his fellow bowery bats, he wanted to make it to the next dead Robin's meeting.
Suddenly he had so much to lose, just as it sliped through his fingers.
Stay your pretty eyes on course
I guess I never really faced my fears before
Last time he died it was miserable, of course, but this time felt worse, he had more to lose, more friends, more family.
So stay with me because
He really really didn't want to die alone again. He told Dick that, with tears steaming down his face.
My body's on the line now
Pull the blanket tight now
Dick was sobbing now, as he pulled him into a hug and let him babble about all the things he wanted to do and how much he loved everybody.
I can feel the light shine on my face
He knew he was going to die today and a thought struck him.
Did I disappoint you?
"Is-is Bruce disappointed in me?" He wispered and Dick sobbed harder, frantically shaking his head. He found that hard to believe but Dickiebird wouldn't lie to him.
Will they still let me over
If I cross the line?
He had done a lot of bad things in his second life, drenched his hands in blood, it would be a miracle if Bruce wasn't ashamed of what he'd done. Though he supposes there's a difference between being ashamed of him and ashamed of his actions. He couldn't imagine getting into heaven again, sure, he'd done it all to protect people, but still, there had to be a limit to what one could do before a man became a monster. He was sure he passed that point a long time ago.
Please don't let them see me
Sure there's nothing left to try
Maybe they would try to bring him back, that's what he would want to do if one of his brothers died, but... he really hopes thay don't. They would have to use a Lazarus pit and he, he can't do that again, not the mind numbing rage, not the soul twisting insanity, not the feel of it pulling him down and forcing its way into him, burning and fiery as all he can see is green green green
I can feel the light shine on my face
Did I disappoint you?
Will they still let me over
If I cross the line?
Then again maybe they wouldn't care, a voice whispers. He shuts that out and focuses on his big brother wrapping him up in a warm hug.
If I cross the line
"I love you Dickie. I love you all so so much. I'm sorry Dickie. I, love..."
If I cross the line
"You."