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This had to be a fucking joke. It had to be- because no way, after Caine's little tantrum about the suggestion box adventures being terrible, was he going to use another fucking suggestion.
And a Ragatha one, at that!
It was absolute bullshit, this picture-perfect, straight out of a goddamn storybook farm.
Ragatha had shrieked when they went through the portal. A full blown girly squeal that threatened to break glass and blow out his ear drums. That was the moment that Jax decided he needed to find some way to ruin the whole thing for her. How dare she cause him discomfort! That was supposed to be his job!
But she ran off quicker than he would have expected, bee-lining straight to the paddock full of horses and, well. It's not like he was afraid of the creatures, because that would be ridiculous. It's just that they were so big, and their teeth were all fucked up and did she even know that their hooves were the equivalent of a thumbnail? That they were running on their fingers? Horrible creatures.
So he figured he'd have to wait for something else fun to pop up. Kinger had moseyed off to view the vegetable garden near the ranch house, no doubt in search of some creepy crawlies. Now there's a thought… Maybe he could convince Kinger to find some centipedes… That could be fun…
Oh and look, the lesbians were on the move too. Gangle was pulling Zooble along towards… they have got to be shitting him… they're going to the fucking chicken coops? How much more stereotypical could the two of them get? 'Ah yes, this is our little gay farm with our little gay chickens!' Like, come on!
Which left him alone with…
"Aww, are those rabbits?"
Pomni was already skipping off towards a fenced-in pen. The thing must have been six feet tall, which seemed ridiculous to Jax. Yeah, he knew they were supposed to be good at jumping, but surely like two feet would be enough?
Distracted by the logistics of appropriate rabbit enclosures, he didn't even realize that his feet had started moving, that he had started dawdling after her like a lovesick puppy, until he was standing next to her at the gate.
Cringe.
They weren't dating. He had to keep reminding himself of that. He may have wanted to be dating, but they weren't. They were just… spending a lot of time together. And sometimes holding hands? And she had done this weird thing the other day where she had kinda stroked his ear and it felt so much better than he could have ever imagined, but he had pretended that he was weirded out. And now she would probably never ever do it again because she's nice and 'respects boundaries' and because he was a fucking idiot.
She turned to face him as she reached the gate, gentle smile gracing her lips, as if she knew he was going to join her. Oh god, she did know that, didn't she? God, he's pathetic. And yet, at the same time, it did feel kind of nice for once. The fact that she knew him well enough to predict his choices- it was a kind of unsettling comfort that he didn't fully understand. Being seen. Being known.
She opened the gate for him with a flourish and a fake posh accent. "For you, my lord! The King of Rabbits!"
The whole gesture was so ridiculous; he wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her around with unrestrained violence. Sink his teeth into her and rip her to shreds. 'But like, in a nice way? Ugh, brains are weird.'
He gave her a solemn nod as he strode into the pen before her, adopting his kingly role. 'Wait-'
"If I'm the king, does that make you my court jester?"
"Oh… uh…" she closed the gate behind her, clicking her tongue as she thought over the question. "Hm." Then she winked and shot him with two finger guns. "You betcha!"
Man, why did that charm him? It was unbelievably dorky and she just didn't care- she just embraced it. Jax admired that about Pomni, that she'd commit to a bit with no regard for the level of shame she certainly should be feeling.
His grin widened. "Ah, so you're one of my loyal subjects, then! Well then, jester, tell me a joke!"
Pomni's face immediately dropped into stern concentration. It took a few seconds before she snapped and cracked a grin, giving him a mischevious look.
"What's a rabbit's favorite ballad?" Jax waited, deadpan, on the punchline. Pomni's expression had twisted a little, like she was trying to hold back laughter before she even got to the actual funny part.
"Some-bunny to Love!" She started giggling, enough laughter to compensate for the way he was just staring at her like she was crazy.
'Man, Kaufmo would have loved her.'
"That's… Pomski… Pompom, that's so bad…" Jax bit back his own laughter. He had a reputation to uphold, after all, and laughing now would tarnish that. Pomni slapped his arm with the back of her hand, as if that was a valid way to receive his well-meaning criticism. But she was still smiling at him and it just made his own grin widen. She could light up a whole city with that smile.
They had been ignoring the tiny fluffy little things crowding around their feet. Jax didn't particularly care about seeing rabbits, really it felt weird since he was also some semblance of rabbit, but he remembered that Pomni used to have them before the Circus. It's no wonder why she'd want to come spend some time with them.
He looked down at one of them; he could barely distinguish its features as it ran back and forth in front of him- nose, eyes, ears… all solid black. The goth-est rabbit he had ever seen. It crept up a little closer to him and he wiggling a toe, waiting to see if the creature would freak out and run away. A sharp pain shot through it at the black rabbit's betrayal - it had fucking bit him - causing him to yelp and jump back a step. Shaking his injured foot out didn't really help that much, but at least it was something to do.
"Little b[******]." Muttering under his breath, he glared at Pomni, who was trying to cover up the fact that she was laughing. "Oh, you enjoy seeing your king in pain, huh, jester? I'll have you executed for that!"
"Ha! Worth it!" Beaming, she carefully sat herself down. Jax figured that Pomni must have some sort of rabbit-brainwashing ability or something since, as soon as her ass hit the ground, she was overrun with the creatures. The hopped up on her legs, ran tiny circles around her, even started jumping a foot or so off the ground and then zooming laps around the pen. He couldn't blame them, honestly- she had a similar enough effect on him.
The way the rabbits swarmed her made him pause, really take in the tableau. It was like a masterpiece, the perfect image of Pomni; flooded by balls of fluff , a gentle breeze rustling the hair underneath her jester cap, and goddamn Caine had even programmed the lighting to have that dreamy, golden glow. Jax couldn't help but watch in awe, eyes wide, at how she looked. The most beautiful, blindingly bright smile he had ever seen- it felt like he was gazing upon a goddess and it made his heart tighten.
One of the creatures crawled into her lap, tugging at her clothes with its teeth in a bid for attention. She giggled before petting it between the ears and, just like that, the thing settled down and folded in on itself until it looked like a little egg. Somehow, her grin grew even more stunning.
She'd never smiled at him like that.
'Whoa, what?'
A little twinge of hurt started to prod at him, rattling around at the back of his brain. He waved it off, ignoring the feeling in favor of sitting down across from her. The idea of sitting next to her had also popped up, but then he wouldn't be able to look at her. Not easily, at least. Not without her spotting his head turning to face her. No, it'd be much easier if she was directly in his line of sight.
Because she totally wouldn't notice it then.
One of the rabbits started sniffing around his ankles. It looked like a toasted marshmallow, with big, floppy ears. The way its nose twitched was kind of cute, he guessed, but he really wasn't sure what the big appeal was.
Clearly, Pomni held a very different sentiment, because she was giggling and absolutely flooded with the fluffy things. She scooped one up in her arms with a surprisingly firm grasp before rubbing it up against her face. The rabbit's feet kicked rapidly and Pomni's face fell a bit before she carefully lowered it back to the ground, whispering hushed apologies. He watched every moment of the exchange.
'She really manhandled that thing, huh?'
'Kinda hot?'
Jax cursed himself- thoughts like that would make him start blushing and it's not like he could blame it on physical exertion. But apparently the thought of being held in Pomni's grip like that, forced where she wanted him no matter how much he struggled, was intriguing. Definitely something he'd have to think about later.
"You uh…" his voice cracked and Jax was truly ready for the ground to open up and swallow him whole, spitting him out straight into the void. But he cleared his throat and persevered, praying that his voice wouldn't betray him again. "You really used a lot of force with that guy, what did he ever do to you?" There it was! The sarcastic, smug, asshole-ish tone that he knew and loved. Ol' reliable.
Pomni looked up at him, finally, after ignoring him for the swarm of movement around her for far too long. She smiled shyly and it made him acutely aware of how quickly a heart's pace can go from a leisurely jaunt to a runaway train. "Well…" she looked down at her hands, balled into fists on her lap. "They're really fragile, right?"
"Yeah, that's what I thought before you started rudely waving that little dude around!" He waved his arms around frantically, an absurd mimicry of her recent movements. A smile cracked along her face at his exaggeration, small laugh escaping her lips.
"WELL, if you let me finish, I would have told you that you have to be kind of aggressive. They can smell weakness, you know." His own smile faltered. 'Was that really true?' Suddenly, every bunny in the pen was a potential enemy, what if they thought he was weak? Was this about to be some Monty Python-esque killer rabbit bloodbath? No. Surely not. The sound of Pomni absolutely losing her shit laughing drew him out of the thought.
'Oh. She was fucking with you.'
"They don't really, but you do have to be pretty firm. If you pick them up wrong, they can kick too hard and break their backs." A somber note crept into her tone, the laughter fading far too quickly for Jax's liking. "There are rabbit owners who have lost their pets because the rabbits kicked too hard and died… I was always really afraid of that happening, but you kind of have to get over that worry. Gotta take them to the vet and all of that, gotta manhandle a rabbit or two."
He hadn't listened to the last bit of her statement. No, he had far more important things to focus on, like why the fuck was he modeled after something so goddamn weak and anxious that it could literally kill itself from moving wrong? What the actual fuck was that about? Jax's mouth drew in a tight line, brow furrowed and looking at his hands.
"Jax?" A blue-clad hand reached out to rest gently on his knee, shaking him out of his self-loathing. His eyes met hers and he looked away quickly; he was not a big fan of her looking worried about him. He didn't need anyone to worry about him- it made him feel weak.
So he slipped back into his persona, shrugged, and flopped backwards- hoping that any tiny creatures would move out of the way in time. He didn't necessarily want to hurt them, but he needed the full dramatic effect and if he paused to make sure they moved, it would ruin the care-free air about him.
"O…kay?" Pomni's voice drifted over his prone form and he hummed to himself. After a minute or so of quiet, he heard Pomni whispering. His ears twitched, swiveling around to better catch her words.
"Oh, aren't you just the sweetest little guy?" The sound of fur being ruffled.
Fabric being pulled. Gentle teeth scraping. "No- no, let's not do that, be a good boy for me, ok?"
Irritation started to gnaw at him, which was weird because what exactly was there to be angry about? Yeah, sure, initially he wanted to mess with Ragatha a bit, but now he was hanging out with the pretty girl he was not-dating, that he thought about kissing a little more than he would care to admit. By all means, it was a nice day!
Jax drew one of his legs up, tapping his foot against the soft grass in an attempt to shake off some of the undefined annoyance he was experiencing. Keeping a steady rhythm, he tried to tune out the chittering sounds coming from around Pomni.
Soon enough Pomni was giggling again, but he couldn't just sit up immediately. 'Play it cool, wait a few seconds before moving. You don't want her knowing you're trying to see what she's so damn tickled by.' Jax counted down from five in his head, getting to three before losing patience and sitting back up.
That little, inky-black bastard was back and now it was running in circles around her. Jax could hear the weird snuffling sounds coming from it too and for some reason it was really pissing him off. A low growl threatened to expose him as someone who 'gave a shit,' so he spoke before it could gain momentum, before it was audible to Pomni.
"The f[***] is that about?" He pointed an accusatory finger at his new enemy. It looked up at him with those huge eyes, blinking once, twice, and then going right back to the snuffling and circling and what a fucking smug asshole of a rabbit.
"The honking?" Her gaze pierced him, quizzical- almost like she was sizing him up. "Well, the circling and honking could just be that he wants to play-"
Jax breathed a sigh of relief.
Pomni shrugged, eyes flicking back to the rabbit, tracking it's orbit around her. "-or, more likely, he's just a h[****] little guy who is trying to seduce me."
'Oh it really is just a smug asshole! Ok, asshole! You're stepping on my turf here!'
Pomni had started giggling after explaining the rabbit's little attempts at seduction, but Jax didn't notice when she cut herself off suddenly. Suddenly, she was looking at him with big eyes, a bemused look with a wry smile. Once his mental tirade against the creature that he could easily punt a good 3 meters had met its conclusion, he saw the way she was staring at him and immediately flushed. There was something scary written across her face, but he couldn't quite figure it out. It just made his fur stand on end.
"Uh… Pom, you good?" he hazarded, hoping the question could ease the ferocity of her stare. It made him feel so exposed, stripped bare with feelings laying raw before her.
"Ha- yeah, I'm good." The expression softened, and she motioned for him to move closer. "This is just really nice. Wanna sit with me?" His ears perked up before he could force them still and that smile on her face grew the slightest bit bigger. 'Oh she knows…'
Jax tried to maintain his image, shrugging and answering with a bored "sure, I guess." He awkwardly scooted over to sit next to her, but she grabbed his head and forced it down before he realized what was happening. Just like when she had picked up the rabbit from before, her grip was strong- not clasped so tightly that it was painful, but definitely holding him firmly in place.
"Wuh-what's happening?" Panic wove its way into his voice, earning a light chuckle from Pomni, who adjusted her grip so that she was pushing his forehead down gently. Apologetic fingers started drawing small circles on his scalp as she forced him to lay back down, cradling his head in her lap.
"Thought this would be nicer, don't you think?" Pomni craned her neck to look down at him, grabbing one of his ears and running her fingers along the velvety interior. Any fear from the moment before fled as his brain turned to static; the sensation was even better than last time. His eyes closed of their own accord before he could remember that he was supposed to Not Like this, but who was he really kidding? It felt incredible.
"Mmhmm… yeah…" he gave a dreamy smile, assuming she'd seen it when she let out a content sigh. "This is nice." Jax could feel the rabbits in the pen moving around him, a pleasant lack of - what did she call it? - honking coming from his surroundings. Before he knew it, his teeth had started grinding to show just how satisfied he was with the turn of events. It was still a newer sensation, but Pomni had mentioned once how she really liked it, so he was leaning into the 'purring' whenever they were alone.
Pomni hummed. She had leaned back slightly and exhaled "jealous bunny…" with an unnecessary level of fondness. Jax's ears twitched and she smirked.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Hopefully, folding his arms across his chest would get his point across: that he was a stubborn bastard that would never admit to such a baseless claim.
Light laughter wrapped around him as Pomni leaned down and kissed his forehead, succesfully causing his heart to stop momentarily. "Jax, you were growling at a bunny."
'FUCK.'